An Old Friend

After a few minutes lost in thought I heard the shower turn off. I walked over to the couch and waited for her to come out. I forgot I had hot chocolate.

She opened the door, "Hey." I turned around to see her in my clothes. She was so cute.

"Feeling better?"

She smiled and nodded, "Definitely. Thank you."

"I'm glad, well don't be afraid to knock if you need anything."

"Mhm, thanks. Thanks for everything." She looked at me with the kindest of smiles.

I had a stupid grin on my face as I walked back into my room. I closed the door behind me and leaned back on it.

"Shit." I whispered to myself. Feelings are weird.

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Friday.

I woke up thinking of Hailee. I smiled to myself as I checked my phone

8:04 am

I got a text.

Hey, I'm so sorry. Everything I did just hit me this morning. I don't even know where to start. I wasn't thinking last night. You didn't deserve any of that. I'm gonna find a hotel or something until I figure everything out, I'm so sorry for burdening you. Please don't worry about me, I'll be fine!

My heart sank. I jumped out of bed and made my way to the living room. My blanket and my clothes were neatly folded on the couch. The mugs we drank out of were cleaned and racked. The bathroom was empty.

I quickly got my phone out and dialed her number. The phone rang for a bit, but no answer. I tried again to no avail. I started to write a text trying to tell her that she wasn't a burden, that it was really no problem for her to stay at my place, that she should save her money. Before I finished she called back. I answered immediately.

"Hello?" I tried not to sound too eager.

"Hey..." She replied softly.

"Hailee... seriously, you're not a burden, I really don't mind."

No response.

"Hailee?"

"I'm just... I'm embarrassed. I don't want you to think any less of me than you already do."

"Please, stop. You were in a bad place, and you were confused. I don't think less of you. It's okay, I want to help."

Another pause before she spoke, "You're so sweet, seriously. And I want to repay you somehow. But I... I don't want you to get the wrong idea... you know... after I kissed you. I was so mad at my ex and... I'm just really confused right now."

She needed a friend. I could be that friend.

"You were drunk. I'm not reading into it any more than that, I promise. I know you didn't mean it. I'm not holding you to anything you did."

"No, no, I mean... I just..."

There was a long pause before she continued.

"You're kind. And you saved me last night. But I can't ask you to do anything more for me."

I thought for a moment.

"Where are you now?" I asked.

She seemed hesitant in her response, "I'm still near your place."

"Would it be okay if we talked in person? Let me buy you some breakfast."

"Ian..."

"Regardless of what you do, you shouldn't make decisions on an empty stomach. It'll give you time to think, if anything."

There was a long pause.

"I'm buying," she said finally, "and... thank you... Seriously."

I told her where to meet me, it was a diner I frequented that was walking distance. I hung up and got ready to leave the apartment. I sorted through some thoughts on my walk over. I needed to tell myself why I was doing this. I just didn't want to see her cry again. She deserved better. It needed to be clear in my head that nothing was going to happen. She didn't need feelings from another guy to worry about. And the last thing I wanted was to set myself up for disappointment. Managing expectations was key.

I approached the building and opened the door. There were people enjoying their meals and servers running around attending. I scanned the room before seeing Hailee's wave and smile. Smiling back, I walked over to sit. She had ordered coffee for the both of us.

"When did you leave my place?"

"Not that long ago... sorry... I was dreading facing you after last night."

"You should have woken me up, at least to say bye..."

She looked down at her cup. "I'm sorry."

"No, no, don't be sorry..." I quickly said, "I was just... worried."

She didn't respond.

"Hey, no, sorry I... I just..." I jumbled my words, "I'm glad you were down to grab breakfast." I gave her a smile.

"Yeah, well... you're kinda the only thing keeping me sane right now." She said as she sipped her coffee.

I paused before speaking, "You would've been fine either way. You're a capable person."

She let out a small laugh, "You don't know that."

"I do." I looked at her. "I do."

Our eyes met for a moment before she looked away, smiling slightly.

"Don't stay at a hotel. There's no need, save your money."

She sighed, "I don't know Ian..."

"If you're still thinking about last night, please don't worry about it. I just want to be a friend, I'm not expecting anything more."

She set her coffee down and buried her face in her hands. I hoped she believed me.

"Look..." I continued, "You have a lot to think about. Stay at my place while you do, It's one less worry for you."

"I don't want to be a bother to Tom... and I don't want to be the cause of tension between you two."

"Tom's gonna be out of state for the next three weeks to visit his girlfriend's family. He leaves tomorrow." I realized the situation couldn't have been better.

She thought in silence.

"How're y'all doin today?" We both sat back and greeted the waitress back. After ordering our food, we continued talking about what to do next. Her phone buzzed.

"He's been texting and calling non-stop all morning."

"Are you gonna respond?" I asked.

"I should. I don't really want to. I still have his key, I'm gonna go grab my things after this while he's at work."

I nodded. "Hotels are expensive in the city." I took a sip.

She looked at her coffee for a moment.

"Okay. I'll stay with you." She said quietly.

I smiled.

"But just for a bit, I promise. Just until I get my own place or something."

"Of course. I'm glad I could help."

"I'll pay you back. Once I get a job..."

I shook my head, "No, no way."

She looked at me with a mix of frustration and thankfulness.

"Okay, well, I'm paying for breakfast at least."

I laughed, "Deal."

We both sipped our coffee. She looked so pretty doing the most mundane things. Her beanie had mickey mouse on it.

"Are you a Disney fan?"

She looked a little embarrassed, "Kind of... Yeah." She brought her hand up and ran her fingers on the stitching.

"Same." I smiled.

"Really?" She lit up. "I never would have guessed."

"Yeah, of course! That's my childhood."

"Do you have a favorite movie?"

I thought for a minute, "Probably... Beauty and the Beast?"

"Ohh, that's a good one!" Her posture changed to match her excitement.

"What about you?"

"Sleeping Beauty."

My eyes widened, "Sleeping Beauty? I've never heard anyone say that before." I chuckled.

"Hey, don't laugh!" She smiled, "It's the classic love story! One of the OGs. It's drop dead gorgeous as far as the animation goes. The songs aged beautifully. It's such a pure story of love and-."

The conviction with which she spoke took me off guard. She paused when she realized my surprised expression.

"I uh... It's a good movie." She laughed, a little embarrassed.

"I'm really sorry... but... I don't think I ever watched it actually..."

She looked offended, "Some Disney fan you are..." she tried to sound angry.

"I'll watch it, I promise!"

We both laughed. We continued to talk about this and that as our food came. She and I had much more in common than I thought. We enjoyed long hikes, road trips, snowboarding, among other things. When she liked something she loved talking about it. Her passion was contagious. She struggled to talk through her chewing, and it was the cutest thing ever. I felt myself starting to have feelings I knew I shouldn't. It was too late.

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I cleaned up a bit more as Tom packed in his room.

"I'm just saying," he yelled over, "I can only see two reasons she would want to stay with you. She's using you or she likes you."

"He's right you know." Amber said as she organized the living room. She was helping me freshen up the apartment.

"She doesn't necessarily want to stay with me, it's more that she basically has no choice. And I insisted."

"You insisted did you?" she smiled, "So you do like her!"

"I just met her." I laughed.

"No, you met in highschool. And you liked her then. All of that is a part of this." Amber was basically an older sibling to Tom and me.

"I don't know..."

"I do," she said strongly, "and I think it's great what you're doing here, but don't think you can stay platonic with this. Something's gonna happen, you have to know that."

"I'll prove you wrong." I said, not believing my own words.

She scoffed. I rolled my eyes.

"Look, I'm just warning you, either she likes you back, or you get hurt."

I laughed, blushing, "I don't like her, Amber. And besides, she doesn't need that right now. I don't want to make it harder for her than it already is. She's alone in a new city, she just needs a friend."

"I guess." She said, smiling.

"What?"

"Last time you blushed like that was with Heather."

I had a dumb grin on my face. Who was I fooling? I had no response.

"So, we gettin Harry's?" I said, changing the subject.

We cleaned for a bit more when my phone buzzed from a text.

Hey. Max caught me leaving, he took a half day. I'm gonna talk with him for a bit, I might miss lunch, don't wait up!

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"Well if she decides to stay with him then she's the idiot." Amber said, biting into her sandwich.

"Would you forgive me if I cheated on you?" Tom joked.

She glared back at him, sandwich still in her mouth.

Tom smiled nervously, "I love you..." he whispered.

We all laughed.

"She'll come back, bro. There's no way she would stay with that prick." Tom tried reassuring me.

"I mean, it was just making out, it's not unforgivable..." I was a little worried, to be honest.

Tom shook his head.

"No, think about it," Amber interjected, "she leaves after seeing him making out and he doesn't call her until the morning after? Please, it wasn't just making out."

"They fuuuuucked." Tom said, laughing.

"Fuuuuuucked indeed." she repeated, smiling at Tom.

I managed a smile too. Before I could take another bite, My phone rang. Hailee.

I left the apartment to take it in the hall.

"Hello?"

"Hey..."

"Everything okay?" I hoped it was...

"Yeah, well... no. He's trying to get me to stay."

I paused before replying, "Do you want to stay?"

"No... I don't know..."

"He cheated on you."

"Yeah..."

Silence.

"Ian... can I ask you something? Why are you being so nice to me?"

My heart started beating fast. I wanted to tell her that it was because I was starting to like her. I wanted her to know that for the last twelve hours she was the only thing I could think about. Should I tell her the truth? No, it's too soon. We just met yesterday. It would be best to keep that to myself. If I told her, she would be uncomfortable staying here, and that would leave her with her ex. I could bite the bullet. I could suppress my feelings for her.

"Because I just think it'll be better for you. It'll buy you time... to think and regroup. You're in a bad place, and it's no trouble for me to help out."

She didn't respond.

"Hailee?"

"Yeah."

Silence.

"Yeah," she repeated, "I'm on my way. Thanks again."

"Sure."

I hung up the phone. A part of me was glad she was coming, but there was clearly still some hesitancy. I hoped when she came I would be able give some reassurance. Whatever the case, I was going to be there for her.

I received a text from her a few minutes later.

Thanks Ian. I told Max we were over. No going back now I guess.

I stared at my phone for a bit before texting back.

You won't need to.

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"So you guys are leaving tomorrow morning?" Hailee asked.

"Yeah, 6:00am flight." Amber said, taking a sip of water.

Tom dropped his chopsticks and groaned. "Not looking forward to it. We gotta leave here around 3:30."

"I just wouldn't sleep if I was you." I said, empathizing. Early mornings were dreadful, early flights just sucked.

Tom looked at his girlfriend, "Amber had a long day, but maybe I'll stay up."

She nodded back, "Yeah, I'm forsure gonna crash. Oh, by the way Hailee, Tom's spending the night at my house, and tomorrow we're gonna leave straight to the airport, so you can move into Tom's room tonight."

"Yeah, we cleaned it out for you today." He and Amber gave her a smile.

"Oh... guys... I would've been okay with the couch..."

"Nonsense, why the couch when there's a perfectly good bed?" Tom said, taking a bite of chow mein.

"Guys... I don't know what to say... thank you..."

"Ian's friend is our friend," Amber said, giving her a wink, "and you let me know if he tries anything funny."

I choked on my noodles. The three of them erupted.

"Are... are you okay?" Hailee said, failing to hold in more laughter.

I gave her a thumbs up, coughing and clearing my throat. I wished I could've stopped smiling. The rest of the dinner was lovely, Hailee got along with the other two effortlessly. They were both huge Disney fans as well, and they were also both surprised at Hailee's favorite movie. After the meal we cleaned up and said our goodbyes to Tom and Amber.

"Your friends are awesome." Hailee said happily, sitting down next to me on the couch.

"They're pretty great." I laughed to myself.

"How did they meet?"

"First class of freshman year. Anthropology, I think. They sat next to each other and hit it off immediately. Now I can't imagine them without each other."

"That's lovely. They seem perfect together."

I nodded.

"I haven't-" She stopped herself.

I looked at her, "Haven't what?"

She thought for a bit.

Her voice turned a little sad, "I haven't felt this good since moving here."

I tried to find the right thing to say.

"Max definitely tried, but he's just so independent. I was thrust into a whole new world, and I told myself he was all I needed but... I don't know."

I could faintly hear the sounds of the city.

"Dinner with Tom and Amber today... and you... It made me feel so... welcome... to the city."

My heart warmed.

She smiled at me. "Thank you. I'm glad I could stay here."

I smiled. It hurt, hiding how I felt. But this was well worth it.

"You're gonna be fine," I reassured her, "everything's gonna work out."

She laughed, "I'm starting to believe you."

We sat there in silence.

"Anyways uh... You should unpack a bit. I'll see you in the morning?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll see you in the morning."

"G'night, Hailee." I said, standing up.

She stood up and hugged me tight. I felt a whirling in my chest.

"Good night, Ian, thank you for everything."

She let go and looked at me. I smiled and nodded.

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I spent the next week living with her. She was a great roommate, clean and considerate. Tom was gracious enough to put in a word with his cousin, who worked in the city. With his help she managed to land an interview for an office management position. It was just entry level, but it was a start. I was happy for her, though I could tell she was nervous. I was glad she was here, and safe. But putting a lid on how I felt proved difficult. Oh well, It's what needed to be done.

I decided to keep to myself. We let each other know if we were going out for food, but other than that I tried to stay in my room and keep our interactions to a minimum. Only if she wanted to talk about something serious, like whether she should call her parents, or how she should prepare for the interview, I would listen and be there for her. I made sure to always give her a warm smile. She did knock on my door every now and then to say hi, but I tried to keep those conversations short too. I knew the more I talked to her the more I would want to confess to her. I just didn't want to burden her with my feelings, because if she didn't see me the same way, that's all it would be. A burden. She had other things to deal with. I knew I was going to have to tell her eventually.

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Friday.

I was lying on my bed on my phone when I heard a knock.

I sat up, "Come in."

Hailee opened the door, "Hey, oh sorry were you sleeping?"

"No, no just on my phone."

"Oh, good! I uh... just wanted to say thanks again for grabbing dinner tonight!"

"Yeah no problem, my pleasure." I smiled.

She smiled back, and looked like she had something else on her mind.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

"Do you wanna maybe... watch a movie with me? I thought we could take care of your Sleeping Beauty deficiency."

"Oh, I... uh... I have a video chat with some old friends in a bit..." I lied.

"Oh yeah..." she responded immediately, like she was expecting it, "Of course. No problem. Some other time, maybe."

"Yeah, sorry."

She started to close the door but hesitated, "Hey... we're okay, right?"

I could sense her suspicion.

"Huh?"

She looked sad, "No, it just... It sorta felt like you've been avoiding me... that's just in my head right?"

My tongue got caught in my throat. I knew I wasn't being a good friend to her.

"I just want to make sure I didn't upset you in some way."

"No, Hailee... Definitely no..." I couldn't think of anything more to say.

She forced a smile, "That's a relief."

I lied back down after she closed the door and covered my face with my pillow. I stayed there for a while feeling like an asshole. I was an asshole. What was I doing? She needed a friend. I could be that friend. I could spend time with her, make the city less lonely. I could deal with the confusion of hiding my feelings if it meant that she would be happy.

I took a deep breath and got out of bed.

I went over to Rose's door and knocked.

"Uh, sorry hold on one second... okay come in!"

I opened the door to see her under her blanket, "Hey, sorry, do you... still want to watch?"

Her face lit up, "Yeah... yes! Let's watch! What about your friends?"

"Ah... I'll say hi next time." I said with a smile.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

Her smile was so infectious. I stood holding the door open for her to come out.

She didn't move, "Oh uh... sorry... I'm not wearing any pants."

"Oh, shit, sorry!" I closed the door.

I could hear her laughing.

I readied some hot chocolate as she came out.

"Ooh, you read my mind!" She said with a smile.

We sat on the couch and turned on Sleeping Beauty. It was indeed a lovely film. The story was simple, but there was such a warm feeling it gave me. Adding that to the cold winter night, delicious hot chocolate, and an incredible girl next to me... I was in a good place. I made sure to maintain distance on the couch while we shared the blanket. The movie ended with the ballroom dance fading into the sky.

"That... was..."

"Magical." Hailee finished my sentence.

"It's just so... classic. I loved it." I meant it too.

"Really?" She said, beaming.

"One of my new favorites." I smiled at her.

She looked back at me with a look of pure joy. She was beautiful.

Her phone rang. She looked to see who it was.

"Sorry, it's Max. I should get this." She sounded sorry.

"Yeah, yeah, of course."

She went to her room. I started to feel a little jealous. Why was he calling her? I suddenly wanted nothing more than to sleep and drown out my thoughts. I turned off the TV and went to the sink, washing the mugs and setting them on the rack to dry. I made my way to my room when she hurried back out.

"Ian, sorry, he was just checking up on me." She looked a little concerned.