All Comments on 'An Old Friend'

Terrible, terrible writing.

Doesn't seem like English is your first language judging from this story, but I've read some of your poetry and I think you're probably American. Both the storyline and prose are poor as you need to develop the plot and the characters so your readers can identify with them. You also need to make better use of punctuation in both your stories and your poetry as it stilts the flow due to the reader trying to puzzle together ambiguous sentences - Does she mean this or does she mean that?

It's all a learning curve so take note of all criticism, good and bad, and if you're truly passionate about writing; use it to improve your art.

Terrible, terrible criticism!

Your writing is terrific - because it is YOUR writing, Angel :)

Please don't be discouraged from expressing yourself - your own way - by the failed grammar teachers.

And your story is beautifully erotic ;)

a lot better than the first comment implied. I do not think that your style of writing works in this context, the lack of description and dialogue created an almost frantic pace more suited to a thriller. I could follow the action once I got your male and female protagonists sorted, I assumed that you would have written from a female pov given your bio pic. Some names would have helped. I do not know your plans but if you continue you should read some competition winners to get a feel for the style that is popular here. Cheers. -- UK CYNIC.

Well this was the first time ive tried writing something like this, so appreciate the help. If you dont like it thats perfectly fine, but theres no need to be rude.

Thanks for the constructive criticism :D

And yes english is my first language