All Comments on 'An Unforgettable Melody Ch. 03'

by auguy86

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hardheadd1hardheadd1about 8 years ago
:-)

Great story so far. Not a great place to leave off though.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
faith?

I feel like finding out genies are real would at least cause you to question your faith in Christian sects.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Why size change

You have a great story going and I really like the faith angle. No other genie author has explored this. I think it makes Mike a more well rounded person. Why do masters always have to change the size of their cocks. I mean Melody totally accepted him as he was from the beginning. He took her virginity with an average size. If she is truly his and accepts him unconditionally then her anatomy should have been made so her g spot was in easy reach by him no matter what position they were in or size he was. It would be nice to see a story where size does not matter and the avearge guy gets the girl.

auguy86auguy86about 8 years agoAuthor
DING DING DING!!!

Thank you to the first anonymous commenter! You have hit on the very question that inspired me to write these stories to begin with. "Is it possible to be presented with two radically different realities and still reconcile the two?" Your question is a very logical one. Why not suddenly question everything you've always believed in? The answers will be revealed, in due time of course.

As for the second anonymous comment, I did debate back and forth about changing his penis size, and almost went with no. Ultimately, I felt that it helped humanize Mike a bit more. Consider, he's very well adjusted and self assured in so many phases of his life, and yet even he is susceptible to that little nagging feeling of "Man, I wish I had a bigger dick..." While I do see, and even agree with your points of Melody accepting him regardless, I feel that him vocalizing one of his few insecurities makes him more relatable. Great question.

dr_legodr_legoabout 8 years ago
Well-written and immersive

I agree with a couple other commentators about the faith angle: Mike's faith seems to guide his decision-making a lot, which I think makes for a much more believable story and a much more likeable character. I found myself frustrated with a few of the other genie stories because the main character is a jerk who didn't really think about consequences or moral implications of the power in their hands. They used the genie's power to the fullest, but they didn't seem to have any introspection about their choices.

Speaking of which, I also like that this constraint will prevent Mike from going too crazy with Melody's powers. The fact that the option is there, but not fully utilized makes it more interesting. I think it also would make it interesting for Melody to begin to understand *why* Mike doesn't use them, and appreciate/respect it without being forced to by her nature. It's difficult to take a subservient genie's compliments at face value, because genies are hardwired to like their masters and accept their choices without question -- will Melody be different? I look forward to finding out.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Interesting

Like the faith angle. I was surprised by the wish for free hot water considering that and his conversation with Tyler about stealing. A little thing that made me go hmmm.

auguy86auguy86about 8 years agoAuthor
Hot water

True, though the effect of the wish would be that, since it is for sexual purposes, Melody is able to conjure up hot water with her powers, rather than taking it from someone else or costing someone business. Besides, Mike still has to pay for hot water in doing his laundry or washing dishes. Good observation, though. I might clarify that on an edit.

SwedishLustSwedishLustover 7 years ago
Living is a sin, but not interacting with a spirit? Hmm....

I won't start a debate about what the bible says about heaven/hell or what it says happen to us after we die. The important thing here is that the main character believe he will come to one or the other.

But what I don't get is, if he won't let her extend his life because of heaven, hell, judgment and eternal life after he have lived his life, how can he interact with a spirit?

If you read Galatians 5:19-21 and revelation 22:15, you'll understand that any form of spiritism will block you from heaven and the kingdom of God. So interacting with a spirit, I presume a genie is a spirit, would by default by his beliefs get him a ticket straight to hell.

The same thing would happen for just the use of the magic.

Ahh... and don't forget that he is having sex with someone he is not married to, which is compared to be equally bad as being a thief, murderer, gay, spiritist, etc etc.

So everything he has done so far, would result in him going to hell acording to his beliefs. So what is stopping him from taking a chance with eternal life on earth to prevent himself from going to his punishment?

rightbankrightbankover 7 years ago
I realize you are creating your own alternate universe with it's own rules

but,

I don't understand the difference between changing the size of a room, or a bed, or adding all the linens, and providing him with a wardrobe. I also think if he is not going to be taller, his other physical parts should have stayed the same "length". It would have been easy enough to have her level of response to his stimulation raised with a - tingle flash -

auguy86auguy86over 7 years agoAuthor
Great point rightbank, but...

This universe is not one of my own creation, but rather of Joe Brolly's. I tried to honor the rules and limitations he originally conceived of as much as possible. A major point in his story was, once the main character changed his appearance, he could not automatically make his clothes change accordingly unless the wish was sufficiently sexual enough. This is why Mike didn't want to alter his dimensions through improving his appearance. By contrast, since the larger shower, bed, and linens were all used for sexual purposes, either directly or indirectly, they were within the scope of Melody's wish-granting authority. Great comment!

AmbivalenceAmbivalenceabout 7 years ago
Yeah, I wondered about the whole providing clothes thing as well...

Otherwise, it seemed like if he wanted to take her somewhere expensively nice, "Oops, sorry, You don't have the clothes for it so can't do it."

And I realize if it was erotic it could be done, but there are degrees and then there are degrees...

Also find it curious as to what his idea of a lifespan is...

Without knowing the specifics, I seem to recall at LEAST two or three people in the Bible who loved substantial amounts of time...

(I realize this won't be an issue since I accidentally read the beginning of the second "book" of this story before realizing there was a first part... Just noting my thoughts...)

Is it just me or has this story been progressing slowly...? Not complaining, just curious...

I endeavor onward...

auguy86auguy86about 7 years agoAuthor
Thanks ambivalence

Yeah, the clothes conundrum is one that's appeared in most of the major genie stories, Genie Chronicles and A Beautiful Wish. Each of those authors used it in different ways; the former as an excuse to get them to the mall to people watch and scout potential hookups, the latter as a confidence booster to the main hero. Here, I wanted to show Mike's ability to see past the immediate effects of his wishes. Even though he's still feeling out Melody's powers, he does try to take into consideration the side effects of his wishes.

Yeah, the chapters of this story do progress a bit more slowly than my others. They were the very first things I wrote, after all, and I was still getting a feel for my style. I'm pretty wordy on my own, so I've worked to pull back in that regard where I can. Still, the focus of this story as a whole is exploring the relationship and personalities of Mike and Melody, which is what allowed me to immerse myself in this story as I wrote it. Glad you're enjoying so far!

auguy86

PoisonlovePoisonlovealmost 7 years ago
I'm disappointed at you

I read your stories about a month ago and loved it but now found another story "A Beautiful Wish" written in 2007-2008 by 8001bGorrilla and find that you stole literally a whole line from that story (when she indicates about the fantasies and the time he had to use, etc.) and basically the general script. Yeah you created some stuff but...really??? where is the originality??? I've never seen at first hand a person to plagiarize someone's story. That is so sad.

auguy86auguy86almost 7 years agoAuthor
I'm sorry you feel that way, Poison...

But as I stated at the beginning of the very first chapter, this story is a SPIN OFF of both "A Beautiful Wish" and "Genie Chronicles." And I'll have you know that "A Beautiful Wish" came AFTER "Genie Chronicles." The concept of fantasies was first established by Joe Brolly in his original tale, and both 800ibgorrila and I wanted to stay true to the rules of the universe that HE created. This act of "plagirisim," as you call it, is in reality our way of paying homage to the original creator of this universe that has influenced our own styles so greatly. Whenever I borrow concepts from another author's stories, I do so either with their direct permission or, as I did in this case since Joe Brolly has been inactive for years, stated outright from the beginning that this story is based in the universe that he created and follows the same rules and concepts. If this offends you, you are free to move on to other stories. But by your accusation, every author that has written Star Wars novels has plagarized from George Lucas merely by trying to remain faithful to the concepts he originally introduced. I am sorry this has upset you as such, but I am glad you enjoyed my stories, if only for a short time. Take care.

auguy86

Slyyder74Slyyder74about 4 years ago
Sorry no

Wow it’s a great story but way too much religious context. I think you’re a good writer. Just outside of my comfort zone.

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Welcome, readers! My name is M.H. Barton, also known as auguy86. I am an author of erotic literature, dabbling mostly in romance and sci-fi/fantasy. I have lived for my entire life in the southern United States, aka "The South." I live here with my fantastic and loving wife, ...