by LaRascasse
Dude this is badass!! Really gripping storyline and the black comedy is brilliant. Eagerly waiting for next chapter.
Good deal....but one blooper here:
In text, right after he is handcuffed to bed post.:
"I lay there, prone and immobile for a few minutes before I heard footsteps approaching the bedroom. The door swung open and Monica entered, as naked as I was. Confidently, she strode over to my side and straddled me in one quick motion.
"You should probably know, I like it rough."
"What do you....."
I was rudely cut off by her landing a tight slap across my face. I yelped in pain and felt my cheek go warm. There was barely a second to recover, when the back of her palm connected with my other cheek while coming back. My face was stinging and hot.
She just sat on me and looked on my painful visage with a playful look on her face. Raising her hips just a bit, she lowered her cunt onto my erect member. "
In first sentence, 'prone', indicates he is face down. I envisioned she was assaulting him while straddling his back. Then the image flipped when I hit that last sentence. She can't lower her cunt onto his erect member (as stated in last sentence) when he is still on his belly.
is mouth-wateringly delicious. I want you to stop writing anything else and just write about strong-willed disturbing female characters. That is all.
My only comment after the 1st two chapters is that I can't wait to see where you go next.
I did have a small issue with Simon watching the interrogation but that's me being too picky.
The characters are very interesting thus far.
I thought it was strange Simon was allowed to watch, and that she beat the religious zealot so badly (though I'm aware it happens), but I understand it was integral to your plot and that it's fiction (right?) so I get it. I like that she is so fierce. Can't wait to continue reading.
With Monica! Larger than life personality and kicks literal ass, too!
This women is...damn...if I were Simon I wouldn't kill anyone else...
im finding this funny, he's thinking he's got a handle on it all and while taunting the cops his real fear is getting caught by monica, me likey
She's a really bad example of american justice and police action.
We need adults on the force. She ain't one.
And as a 200# blacksmith, i sure don't want to fuck her!
I'd lock her up in the same cell as the butcher...for years on end.
This author has written a few good stories. This in not one of them.
First, I don't like it when there is no ability to rate, as with virtually all other stories here. I interpret it as the author is afraid to be criticized. The same goes for making it difficult to see prior comments.
The story line sucks. There is such a strong act of breaking the law by a LEO. I find that repugnant. If you must write such trash, put it somewhere else, it doesn't belong here in Loving Wives.
I'm moving on. I may be missing some fine stories, but having to trudge through garbage to get there just is not worth it.