An unOrthodox Christmas

I have no idea where this piece came from, except that I recently re-watched Pulp Fiction and I might be thinking about non-linear narratives. It should go without saying that I don't support organized crime, I don't know the extent to which folks of North Macedonian descent are involved in it, and I have as much respect for the Eastern Orthodox churches as I do for any other religion. But I needed a setting, so.

This is an unconventional Christmas story, that's for sure, but I'm entering it in Lit's annual Holiday Contest 2023 anyhow. Make sure you read all the entries and vote up your favorites!

* * *

Prologue: Vegetarian Lo Mein

* * *

"Hmm." Rabbi Yadin really had no need to study the menu, Johnny thought to himself as he stood there and waited. He always ordered the same damn thing, usually after sorting through several questions about other entrees. "How's the General Tso's chicken?" He spoke with the accent of Haifa, though Johnny didn't know that and wouldn't have cared.

"It's delicious. It's always delicious." Johnny Choi stared at the back of the Rabbi's head, occasionally glancing at the man's long-suffering wife. "Can I suggest the garlic chicken?" he asked pointedly. He spoke with the accent of Tainan City, though Rabbi Yadin didn't know that and wouldn't have cared.

"I was thinking about the lo mein," Yadin replied slowly, stroking his beard, "but it'd have to be vegetarian."

"No more vegetarian lo mein tonight; we ran out." Mandarin By The Sea always ran out of the vegetarian lo mein on Christmas. It was not a night they prepped a lot of pork dishes, either, for the dining room that night usually sounded like social hour after Shabbat. "The garlic chicken really is amazing."

"I'm sure." Yadin sighed. "It does look good. Know what? I'll have the garlic chicken, then."

"Good." Johnny did not need to write it down, and he already knew what the rest of the family wanted too. "And for Mrs Rabbi? The tofu with broccoli?"

"Yes please. And a spring roll." Rabbi Yadin answered for his wife.

"For the kids? Chicken nuggets and white rice?" Same every Christmas.

"Actually?" The oldest of the Yadin children was thirteen now, and felt he should order something grown-up. "I'll have the garlic chicken too, please."

"Sure thing." Of course he would. He was his father's son, and what parent doesn't expect their child to follow in their footsteps? Johnny reflected that if he doubted that, he just had to go elsewhere in the restaurant. Where Young Johnny Choi was bussing dishes and Old Johnny Choi was manning the cash register.

Because family always matters.

* * *

Part One: Sex

* * *

"She says her feet hurt."

"Who says her feet hurt?" None of this made any fucking sense to Dina. Tonight was Christmas Eve for the other 99% of the country, and that usually meant record profits at the brothel. "Like, hurt too bad to put out? Or can she still smash like normal?"

"I don't know. I didn't have a heart-to-heart with her. As soon as I asked her what was up, she went off."

"Well, what the fuck is really wrong with her?"

The manager shrugged. "It's Lacey. She's always complaining. There's always something wrong with her," and Dina could only agree. She brooded.

"Shit. We're short-staffed as it is." Her eyes rose hopefully to her manager. "Feel like taking one for the team, Victoria?"

"Not in my contract, boss." Shrewd eyes flickered up and down Dina's body. "Tell you what. When you take a dick? I'll take a dick." Victoria did sometimes put out, when she was feeling bored or when she simply needed some meat and the client looked like he could perform, but she wasn't having it tonight. There was a limit to her loyalty to Kurvy's Spa. Victoria Lynne was not Family, and she didn't approve of staying open on Christmas Eve.

Dina sighed. "Before the night is over, I just might have to," she muttered. It wouldn't be the first time, even though as the co-owner of Kurvy's she should be far, far above anything as sordid as taking money for sex. But this night, and the next six, were always packed at whorehouses for some reason, so that meant sometimes even the administrative staff needed to pitch in and, well, get packed as well.

It helped tonight that they were the only game in town. The other big brothels, Julia's Massage Therapy and Southside Wellness, were both closed for the holidays, and Julia's wouldn't even reopen until January, so Kurvy's Spa was providing rental poon for every available penis in the city tonight. Dina scowled. "I mean, too bad, so sad. If Lacey's feet hurt, she needs to just suck it up and suck it down." It was a common expression Dina's father Mikey Kystrov had been using for years, ever since he'd established the place on very unforgiving terms for the whores.

Back then, he'd had old-fashioned views on women in general and prostitutes in particular. Those views had tended to involve beatings and occasional murders.

And still, he'd had to turn the applicants away. But these days? Every employer was finding it hard to get decent workers, and the sex industry was no different. And even when they were good enough to pass the audition with Andrei and get hired, they often couldn't handle the workload. Or they just flaked and stopped showing up.

You had to coddle your employees these days, and neither Dina nor her brother Andrei Deuce had been raised to coddle anybody. They were twins, grandchildren of Old Papa's second son Big Andrei, who'd taken over the smuggling operation now that his brother Junior-Junior was semi-retired and his grandson Niko was a dumbass. So now, Mikey had decreed, was the time for their branch of the Family to step the fuck up.

Which meant extended Christmas hours to accommodate the metro area's extended Christmas cocks. And this year, Andrei had hatched the ludicrously brilliant idea of a holiday tie-in, dressing the girls in elf costumes made from the cheapest Secret Whispers meshwear and some Christmas ribbon. "Come in and let our Elves light your Christmas tree and handle your Yule log!" the ads had urged on the website. "We've got first-class girls with stockings just waiting to be stuffed!"

Except that one of those first-class girls was now complaining about hurt feet. Fuck.

"What's our occupancy right now?"

The manager shrugged. "I dunno. Ask your brother; he's the stats guy. I'm busy making sure there's enough lube and condoms to go around."

"Fuck," Dina sighed, but Victoria was right: the numbers were Andrei's business. All the numbers. Like, the number of dollars owed by each client. And the number of days those clients had before they'd get their teeth knocked out or half their finger cut off. And then the number of weeks before their debt would become a mortal one, their bodies left in one of the Family's many hiding places. She maneuvered, smiling with fake cheer, around clients waiting in the wide upstairs hall, staring while perky Bethany danced for them. Pretty soon, Dina reflected dully, Bethany would be experienced enough to stop dancing and start fucking, and Dina's well-honed instincts told her that might just happen tonight. Or definitely before the New Year.

The chick was a knockout, twenty-one and fresh-faced, new to the life. The trick was to get people like her not just to put out for a few months, but to do it for a few years. Andrei disagreed, but then turnover didn't bother Andrei. New girls cost less, and he didn't care if they ditched after a few weeks.

Dina did. Dina cared. Dina didn't just want to make money; she wanted to be the best goddamn brothel in the whole state. And that didn't happen by letting prime talent go sling their pussy elsewhere.

She didn't knock as she came into her brother's office. She'd caught him doing everything in there, from lines of coke to a whore's chapped asshole, and nothing would really faze her anymore. "Hey."

"'Sup?" He sat lounging in his office chair with his feet up and his hand on his cock. He didn't move it when he saw his sister, but at least he stopped massaging it. Before him stretched nine large monitors bolted to the wall, each one linked to the cameras in the girls' rooms. "Full house tonight."

"I can see that." Every single monitor showed a woman with a dick inside her, in one hole or another. Sometimes Dina stared at these monitors and her eyes glazed over, dazzled by the constant motion of the girls and their temporary best friends. Every one of them moved differently, and when all of them were on at the same tempo, the effect was disorienting. "I think we're close to 200%. We might need to mobilize the receptionists and the dancers."

"We could," he shrugged, "but we're out of rooms." Kurvy's had nine suites.

"My office has a couch. So does yours. Then there's the spa room." She shrugged. "Just saying. The backlog's a bit much and the girls aren't speeding up."

He frowned. "Any of the clients leave yet?"

"No," she allowed, "but I got some nasty glances as I went by. They could tell I was management." She watched Camera Four, where Natalia lustily banged two guys, London Bridge style. She glanced at Six, where she was gratified to see the whiny Lacey, bouncing exuberantly on some Asian guy's dick. "I was thinking of telling Bethany she could fluff. Just to keep them from leaving."

Andrei's eyebrows rose. "That's an idea. She gives great head." He'd signed off on hiring her just a couple weeks ago, after he'd put her through her paces. "I mean, we talked about this the other day. I think she's ready already." His eyes took on a faraway look, as they often did when he discussed personnel matters. She often wondered how odd it must be for him to work in a building where he'd banged every single employee. "Yeah. Definitely ready."

"Goddamn, you're disgusting." She didn't mind it, though. Prostitution was the main moneymaker in their branch of the Family, and it's hard to be a good pimp if you're not also a little bit of a perv. "Okay. I'll go turn her loose in the waiting room."

"Might want to tell Nelson." Nelson, a distant and quite illegitimate cousin, handled various Family concerns of a darker nature, but in his free time he did security at Kurvy's in exchange for Natalia's services with a whip and some handcuffs. "Once she starts, they're going to be all over her."

"Hmm. Hadn't thought of that." Dina whirled back toward the hallway, making a mental note to have Adrienne on standby. She was on Reception tonight, but if the waiting room got too rowdy she could do oral, in a pinch. Kurvy's was all about teamwork.

Bethany was on the pole when she caught Dina out of the corner of her eye, talking urgently to Victoria. Victoria had just made the rounds in the waiting room, distributing Christmas cookies to the men waiting. "I'm sure they're fucking as fast as they can," she heard Victoria say, but then Dina snarled something and the manager went pale. By the time Dina reached Bethany, she was upside-down and topless, clinging to the pole with her toned thighs.

"Hey." Dina squatted down so she could talk in Bethany's ear. "How's it going?"

"Great, boss!" It was, too. She'd been dancing in the various harborside clubs since she'd turned eighteen, and this place felt a lot safer. Better yet, she'd only had to fuck one guy to get the gig. "What's up?"

"We're backlogged." Dina sniffed, the cocaine tonight doing a number on her sinuses. "The whores aren't turning their tricks fast enough. I'm going to go crack the whip, but I'm afraid these guys here will get restless if they have to wait too long. Your job is to keep them from getting bored and leaving."

"I thought that's what I was doing?" She'd need to get off soon. The blood was rushing to her head.

"Yeah, but I mean... more." Dina winked. "Feel free to get to know them a little better. It'll be good practice for when we get you on your back."

"Wait." She swung gracefully down off the pole, feeling the stares of the six men waiting. "You want me to fuck all these guys?"

"No. No sex. You can blow them, but don't let them get off or they'll just leave with a freebie. I'll take that shit out of your wages, so be careful." Dina hesitated. "If it takes much longer, I'll get you some help. Probably Adrienne, from downstairs."

"Okay." Bethany was raring to go. There was a reason she'd come to work here. The clubs expected dancers to give a little pussy on the side; she'd figured if she was going to take cock, she might as well get paid more for it. She straightened up and winked at the men, muttering to Dina out the side of her mouth. "Can I lose the thong?"

"No. If you get naked, these guys will tear you apart. I'm having Nelson come up to keep an eye on you." Bethany raised an eyebrow; Nelson was known to keep more than an eye on the girls already, but that was all right. He seemed to know how to hurt people who needed to be hurt, and that was worth its weight in gold. There were always tradeoffs in this line of work. "Have fun. I'll be back to check on you."

"Thanks, boss." She drew herself up and stared down at the crowd. Showtime. She felt like whatever she'd done with Andrei Deuce (and she'd done quite a lot: he'd kept her all night) wasn't her real audition. This was. These guys would be coming back for more, and this right now was her chance to become their "more." She looked down the broad hallway at the men sitting there looking sour, and all she saw was future earnings. She selected the one with the best shoes and sauntered over to him with a big grin. "Hi, bud. Is there anything I can do for you?"

He glared up at her. "I was supposed to be in there already."

"We're backlogged," she shrugged sweetly, making sure her tits jiggled for him, "but I'm happy to take care of your front log while you wait?" She stood there in between the rows of chairs, every part of her on display except the sequined nylon covering her mound, feeling every eye and picturing every stirring hard-on. She gave him strong eye contact, then bent down and clamped her hand boldly over his crotch. "Want to fuck my face a li'l bit?"

Bethany knew she had more than a little of that girl next door sort of vibe, so she often played that up. But it also amused her to mess with her men, and she winked as she watched him try to piece together what she'd said. "Fuck your face... a little bit?"

"Yeah! You know," she cooed, "just a little friendly conversation while you bounce your balls off my chin?" She didn't bother waiting much longer, her nimble fingers finding his zipper and forcing it down. "Unless you'd rather not?" He did, though, and she could tell as soon as she reached into the slit in his boxers that he certainly would. "Ooh. Hello," she mused, hand closing around his thick penis. He felt sweaty. She wondered whether this was his first time in a place like this.

"You charging me extra?" he rasped. Oh. So not his first time.

"On the house, lover," she giggled, "to apologize for your wait." She twisted, eyeing the rest of the clients. "That goes for all the rest of you, too. Think of it as an early Christmas present." She was met with a few chuckles, but by that time she'd already scooted the man's legs apart and dropped quickly to her knees. His cock was big, brutal-looking. Whoever he wound up with tonight was going to really feel it. She cleared away the fly of his pants and hauled his scrotum out of his boxers, wasting no time getting its sweaty warmth into her mouth.

Bethany enjoyed nutsacks.

"Oh, fuck." She heard it as a low gurgle of satisfaction from the man with his balls on her tongue, and she felt a glowing surge rise in her pussy. "That's it."

"Holy shit." That came from the man in the next chair, a low envious grumble. "Starting early. Lucky bastard."

Bethany gave the man one more powerful suckle before spitting his nuts out, her fingers still wrapped around a quickly hardening shaft. She winked at the other guy. "He's no luckier than you're going to be. First time here at Kurvy's?" she warbled.

"Yeah." He swallowed visibly. Probably a trucker. Maybe just a lonely dude, far from his family. Who else went whoring on Christmas Eve? The owners of the brothel, it had been carefully explained to her, celebrated Christmas on January 7th. Which left them free to do business on other peoples' Christmas Eve. She'd been confused until she'd been told they were Macedonian Orthodox, but the woman explaining all this had been Victoria Lynne. Who was as nordic as they came.

Odd place. But they paid decently, and so far Bethany hadn't been raped or anything.

"Well. Why don't we give you a nice, happy Kurvy's welcome?" She gave the first man's cockhead a salty kiss, then crawled to the second man with her ass wagging cutely. "Hiya. What's your name?"

"Um. John," he replied, transparently lying, but Bethany didn't care at all.

"Want to feed me your dick, John?" She said it all breathy-cool, kneeling before him with her smooth young tits cupped in her hands.

"Whoah." He swallowed again, clearly nervous. Maybe he wasn't into being watched? she wondered. Or, probably, this was his first time, and he was feeling overwhelmed. So she leaned in between his legs, lapdance-style, and twined her arms around his neck, lifting her lips to his ear.

"It's okay if you don't," she soothed. "You're not paying for me, baby. Save it for whatever lucky girl is waiting in the room for you." She left a bright-red lipstick smooch on his face, then rose sinuously. When she turned to survey the room, there were at least four other men massaging obvious hard-ons. "Who's next?" she crowed.

* * *

"You should see this shit." Andrei stared at the waiting-room camera as Dina returned to his office and took a shot of rakija. She'd just been around to the rooms, trying to hurry the girls, which almost never worked. "Bethany's going crazy."

"Hmm?" Dina leaned in, still grimacing from the alcohol. It was the Family's own rakija recipe, moonshine from out of her cousin Jakle's basement. "Holy shit."

She saw on the screen a virtual orgy, something out of a bukkake film but with the woman scuttling around to the men instead of the men clustered around the woman. At least five hard penises jutted out of clients' laps, and the other two had their hands down their pants. Bethany ran around the room like a demented honeybee, sucking dick instead of nectar, darting from stalk to stalk with a big grin on her face. "She better not make them cum," Andrei observed sourly.

"We told her to fluff. She's fluffing." Dina cleared her throat. "We should definitely call up some backup," she sighed, "and you're right. That little Bethany chick is more than ready to get some clients."

"See? I told you." Andrei was about to say more when his phone rang, the personal one. "What?" He listened. "Now? You're serious?" He nodded at whatever the reply was. "I mean, sure, but it's going to cost you. You know how December 24th is. We're all busy, Marty." He sighed. "I'll see what I can do. Let me call you back." He hung up and rolled his eyes. "Marty needs a slut. Rush job."

"Marty?" Dina blinked. "Wait. Like, at the port? He needs a girl?"

"That's what he says." Andrei shrugged. "Right away."

Dina stared at Camera Six. "Lacey's done. And she's whining tonight. We'll send her."

"Yeah." Andrei thought about it. "And throw Bethany in to replace her? She looks like she's about to fuck the whole waiting room."

"Ooh. Good plan?" Dina nodded. "Lacey to the out-call. Bethany to Room Six. Adrienne up here to fluff. Sounds like a plan." They nodded to each other. "Let's do it!"

And that's how Bethany was able to give her last waiting-room blowjob guy a special Christmas present.