Ancient History

"You do know that historically prostitutes didn't kiss their clients because it was considered too intimate."

"Are you saying that I am a prostitute? I've only ever been to bed with two men in my entire life. You and him."

"Is that meant to reassure me? I'm not saying you're a prostitute Mim. I've got more respect for sex workers than I have for you at the moment."

I could see her anger rising.

"Look enough of this. You're just being nasty now. You're starting to piss me off, Trevor Moore. Go and get your stuff; you're coming home with me now. We must get past all this nonsense and get back to normal."

"What normal is this, Mim? The normal when you shag teenagers in our bed or the normal when I had a faithful, loyal wife? I don't quite know how you're going to unfuck yourself if you pick the latter."

"You're just being awkward now. You're coming home with me. I want, no, I need to look after you. I can't bear being away from you when you need me."

"I'm not coming home Mim and I certainly don't need you. I love you; I can't help that. I really wish I could, but I don't need you, and I certainly don't want you."

"You don't mean that."

"I do. You don't seem to have any awareness of what you have done to me, our marriage or our love. The fact that you seem to dismiss your actions as nothing important tells me all I need to know. Our views and needs are too far apart. I am shocked that you haven't even apologised.

I will be honest with you; you deserve that after all these years. If you had thrown yourself on my mercy and begged for forgiveness, I doubt it would have made any difference. We'll never know, though, will we? Basically, you don't feel that you did anything wrong. You're sorry I found out, but not sorry you did it.

That is why our marriage is over and that is why I am divorcing you. You took something very precious to me and smashed it without any real regard. I just can't give you what you need anymore. So, I'll set you free to have all the 'flesh and blood' cock you need. I'm also setting myself free as apparently being married to you is very dangerous for my health."

That would have been a great line to finish this conversation on, but of course, real life isn't like that. Mim hadn't quite finished yet.

"You're being ridiculous. There will be no divorce. You're going home with me -- now! I love you and I need you. You can't throw 32 years of marriage away over this. I can't believe that you would be so selfish. It was nothing. Nothing!"

"Well, that is the problem, Mim. It was something to me. The level of disrespect you've shown me, in my own home, for fuck's sake? Unbelievable. I'm being selfish? Now fuck off before you give me another stroke!"

Not long after she left, I heard Margaret come back on her bike. She drove straight into the garage but didn't come into the house. I wandered into the garage, to tell her what had happened. She was just tightening up a screw in her rear number plate.

"Don't ask," she smiled. "I've just been arranging a little present for my favourite brother."

"Only brother."

"Well, you'd still be my favourite. So what did my ex-sister-in-law have to say for herself? Fulsome apologies?"

"Not exactly."

"No, I didn't think so. She always has been an entitled bitch, not that you could ever see it. Come on, kid, onward and upward. I'll make us a cup of tea."

It was a couple of days later when I read in the local paper that Ben Mortimer, 19, had fallen down the steps in the old town. These steps were very dark and narrow, wedged between a row of Georgian terraces. They led down to the promenade. They were very popular with drinkers caught short on the way home. They stank of urine. Poor Ben, a broken leg, collarbone, numerous ribs and covered in piss. Shame. There was a picture of him. He did look a mess.

Wasn't it lucky that it had happened when I was with Mim? Wasn't it lucky that the police had yet to find a possible witness to the accident? A tall 'bloke' wearing motorbike leathers.

"Thanks for my present," I said, handing Margaret the paper.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," she smirked. "This is your present from me."

I opened the box she gave me to find a small selection of medals from the first world war.

"I thought that you might like these. I found them in a shop in the old town."

Mim and I divorced, of course. She put up a bit of a fight. She never seemed to get over her shock that I couldn't just put up with her infidelity. After the house was sold, we both bought flats at the opposite end of town. Our paths crossed surprisingly rarely.

I went back to work. I admit I struggled that first Christmas. I made a show of myself at the works do. I was drowning my sorrows, I suppose. One of the younger blokes, Darren, took me home, and I told him my story. His reaction and the support he gave me reassured me that any man would have done the same thing in my shoes.

I eased into retirement still on my own. Margaret and I spent a lot of time together until she upped and left for her own retirement in Greece. I still saw her for the holidays. Life became a bit stale for a while, though I still had my history stuff to occupy me. At 65, I found myself with a new neighbour, Brenda. We became good friends, companions and eventually more. We fell in love. The intimacy between us grew until we were sharing a bed and making love in our own way. One night, quite early on in that new phase of our relationship, something came up -- literally. We certainly didn't waste it.

I rushed to the doctor as soon as possible to see if it was a one-off. He was an older doctor who was shocked to learn that I'd received so little support in the past. He was also saddened to hear that my erectile dysfunction played a major role in the end of my first marriage. With his help and a slight change in medication, getting and maintaining an erection was no longer a problem. It was all sorted by the time we went on our honeymoon.

That was 10 years ago. We're 75 now and still very much in love. Mim never married again, as far as I know. She moved away after I remarried. She was very bitter the last time I saw her. There was a hardness and nastiness that just wasn't there before. It was just after Brenda and I got engaged. We were sitting in our favourite café having a coffee when Mim appeared. I introduced them and Mim said something so spiteful that it took my breath away,

"Well, I hope you can live without full sex, as he hasn't been able to get it hard for years."

"I think he perhaps just needed the right woman, dear. He certainly presented me something very hard this morning before breakfast," said Brenda with a smirk.

Mim looked at me,

"Really?"

"Yes, really Mim. It turns out I just needed to be with someone loving and unselfish, who really cared about me."

With that, Mim stormed off. Jealousy is a terrible thing; I should know. I felt it once very severely. Let's hope she found what she wanted. I did, eventually, a loving, faithful wife.

Weirdly Ben Mortimer is now our postman. He's nearly 40 now. He looked horrified when he saw me open the door to our flat that first time. He apologised for what happened, saying he was just a stupid horny kid back then who didn't know any better. Now he was happily married; he was even more ashamed of what happened.

"Especially because you were always my favourite teacher. I'm so embarrassed about what I did. I will always regret it. I told my wife when we were dating; she was disgusted when I told her. It took me a while to convince her to marry me as she said she couldn't be with anyone who didn't respect marriage vows. I eventually convinced her that I'd learnt from my mistakes. I hope in time I can convince you of the same thing."

"There's no need, Ben; it was 20 years ago. Ancient history. I do appreciate your apology. That's more than I ever got from Mim. Anyway, we've all moved on. How about we just go back to being an old teacher and ex-pupil?"

I then did something I never thought I would be able to do. I shook his hand. I also managed to slip into the conversation that my medical issues had been long sorted. I think I embarrassed him. People really don't like to think of pensioners having sex.

Whenever I see him now, we have a laugh and a joke.

I always make sure to tell him to be careful on the stairs as he leaves.