Andrea Millhouse Pt. 08

"Is that an old girlfriend?" Andrea now asked, looking down at the text message.

"No, I'll explain it later, honey" I said solemnly.

"OK Honey, no big deal, alright?" she said looking up at me.

"Thank you for believing in me, Andrea" I replied discreetly, leaning over and kissing her.

"Honey, I trust you ...(sigh) ...I'm just a little raw yet from my marriage, OK? Andrea said apologetically and placing her forehead in the finger tips of her left hand while closing her eyes.

"Andrea, I love you and it's OK. We'll work through our fears, together, girl" I said smiling at her and rubbing her back.

"I love you, Tim" Andrea said softly.

"I know" I replied.

I began eating again and briefly thought of sitting with Mom one evening when I was twenty "Trust within a romantic relationship is something that has to be earned, son, and it takes a very long time for some people to fully trust sometimes, especially if that person's trust has been broken in the past."

After clearing the dishes, Dean and Raven said good-bye and left, assuring Andrea and I that we would be frequent visitors from now on. All of us then went down to the barn to feed and pamper the horses. I wasn't very savvy on horses, I was a cowboy that spoke "Truck" not "Horse" but the realization that I was now with Andrea Millhouse gave me the distinct impression that I was soon going to know the difference between a mare, a gelding and a stallion with such lingo as AQH or American Quarter Horse soon to be a permanent part of my own vocabulary. Before meeting Andrea, I had been under the impression that a "Mustang" was a fighter plane and that "Pintos" and "Broncos" were cars.

Andrea had stated many times throughout our relationship that she wanted to have a small ranch of her own with horses again. She was, financially speaking, close to the point when her Laughlin condo would go up for sale and she would have her long sought after dream home somewhere in Arizona, it was time, she had stated. Of course this would be a turning point in our relationship and a decision on my part would need to be reached on whether or not I would also make the move with her. I thought, once again of Mom's philosophy pertaining to romantic relationships... "You can't be in-love and be safe, son, you have to put it all on the line and risk everything at once, otherwise it isn't love." In for a penny, in for a pound, I thought nostalgically. A few minutes later we all entered the large barn.

..."This is Cutie Pie, this one is Barbie Doll, ...that one is Schatzchen and over there is Black Beard, with the enviable position of the only stallion, or 'guy horse', Tim" Andrea explained to me.

"Three to one odds, that's not bad, Andrea" I replied, smiling.

"I thought you'd see it that way, Tim" Andrea said rolling her eyes at me.

"Beard and Barbie belong to our neighbors, The McKnight's, we've worked out a trade -that if we'll stable their mounts, they'll feed the lot of them" Owen said as he brushed Schatzchen.

"Hans, let me get some video of you and Kathy with Cutie, please" Andrea said, holding up her camera.

Hans then set Kathy onto the horse and stood beside the two as Andrea began filming.

"Here's a REAL cowgirl with her Great Granddad, Hans and Ms. Cutie Pie..." Andrea began narrating as she started filming and smiling widely.

"Which one did you ride today, Andrea?" I asked.

"Q-Pie" Andrea replied and referring to Cutie Pie, as she continued filming and turned the camera toward me.

"Here's Cowboy, he belongs to me, he's my hottie truckie..." Andrea narrated.

All of us spent an hour or so feeding, watering and brushing the horses which I rather enjoyed. After forking in fresh hay and putting the animals in their respected stalls for the night, all of us then headed back towards the house, evening was fast approaching now.

"Andrea, did you check with Tamika and Owen to see if it was alright, with them, to film Kathy?" I asked quietly as I walked beside her.

"Honey, of course I did. Brenda is going to help me edit the video and she knows what we should include as well as exclude in the video" Andrea replied.

"OK, good, honey. Brenda's smart" I replied.

"So are you, Babe" Andrea said with conviction.

Upon re-entering the house, a Monopoly game soon ensued with Andrea, Kathy and Tamika playing against Hans, myself and Owen. The ladies used the small tin man as their board piece while Hans, Owen and I used the little tin sports car provided with the oversize game board which was adorned with various splotches of ancient Kool-Aid stains. The game lasted a little over an hour with the ladies winning by a small margin to the utter delight of Kathy, whereupon she jumped into the arms of Hans. As the rest of us put away the game pieces, Tamika stood up and walked to the kitchen, soon to return and offering slices of Kathy's recent birthday cake.

"She just turned four?" I asked, taking the plate offered me and looking over to where Kathy was now fast asleep within the arms of Hans.

"On Thursday, yes" Tamika replied, taking a fork full of cake from her own small plate.

"Before you know what's happened, you'll be buying her that first car" I said.

"Yes" Hans nodded in agreement and looking across the table at his daughter in-law nostalgically.

"Aren't you going to have any cake, Grand Daddy?" Tamika asked Hans.

"No, honey, you eat it" Hans replied quietly, looking down at his Great Granddaughter and kissing her head.

It had been quite some time since I had been in the presence of a small child or that of a young married couple for any length of time. The pride within Hans's eyes was blatantly obvious and it suddenly occurred to me why he was seemingly so young for a man of seventy six. His children were his absolute pride and joy and I unexpectedly felt extremely honored that Andrea and I had been invited into the lives and home of this young family which Hans held so dear.

Andrea and I were having more fun than I remembered having in a long time and I was glad that I held a small amount of mechanical talent which would help this young family with their project, a project which I believed would bring the young family some joy. I also knew that my little brother Ricky would eventually find his way here with us for one reason or another and that he would be accompanied by his own bride then. As with Andrea, the young family would come to love and adore Brenda as well, I knew.

"What time would you like to start in the morning?" I asked, looking over at Owen.

"Is nine AM a good time to have breakfast?" Owen asked, looking around at all of us.

"Works for Andrea and me" I said, with nods of approval coming from both Tamika and Hans.

"Tim, what will we need to pay you on this project?" Owen now asked.

"Owen, money is nothing among friends. I may want to bring an old piece here and work on it sometime or I may need some Buick straight eight parts someday. We'll figure out what my talent, if any, is worth then and work out a trade" I said shrugging my shoulder.

"We've got lots of Buick straight eight parts, as you've already seen, Tim -- just say the word whenever you need a place to work or some vintage car parts. Thank you for offering to help us, this is a big deal for Tamika and I and something that I believe Kathy will really enjoy" Owen said as he reached over and shook my hand firmly.

There was a long silence then as all of us polished off the last of Kathy's birthday cake on our plates. The time was going on ten twenty PM now and tomorrow would be a day filled of hard work with Owen's truck project, although it really wouldn't seem like work to any of us I knew. I got up without speaking then and collected the empty plates and took them to the sink. I then returned to the living room and sat beside Andrea. All of us remained quiet for several more minutes as we watched Kathy sleeping within the arms of Hans. Kathy had stolen Hans's heart for life and he would never get it back. My mother's words from long ago echoed within my mind once more "The Tin Man Wanted a heart son"

"Baby has had a big day, today, Grand Daddy" Tamika said, standing now and reaching for Kathy.

"I know she has, Honey" Hans said, smiling and kissing Kathy one last time before handing her over to Tamika.

"Grand Daddy, please don't spoil her now, she's hand-full enough as it is" Tamika said pragmatically and holding Kathy close to her while eyeing Hans suspiciously.

"Just doing my job and getting my revenge on a little girl that was just like her once, a troublesome little girl that's a beautiful woman and a wife and mommy now. ...Your folks would be so proud of you today, Honey." Hans replied, looking up at his daughter in-law with pride beaming from his eyes.

"Oh, Grand Daddy" Tamika said, rolling her eyes with color in her cheeks. She then turned toward Kathy's bedroom, the small bundle held firmly within her arms and followed closely by Goldie.

Owen was Hans's Grandson, Hans really wasn't Tamika's Grand Father but apparently Hans had known Tamika throughout her entire life, I'd been told off handedly during the drive to Lake Havasu that morning. It was quite obvious now that Hans considered Tamika as one of his own children. This brought a smile to me as Andrea and I now stood and bided goodnight to all. We then proceeded to our guest room for the night.

"Honey, what's on your mind, is it that text message?" Andrea now asked as we cuddled within Owen and Raven's guest room.

"No, not really, I guess" I replied.

"Who's Colleen Fairweather?" Andrea asked.

"...(sigh) ... Colleen Fairweather used to be known as Colleen Donovan, Andrea" I said solemnly.

"Pat's ...sister?" Andrea now asked surprised and looking up at me.

"Yup, the very same, I haven't talked with her in over thirty five years, Andrea. I've wondered if she was even still alive, to be honest. She's the baby of the family, there were five children altogether." I said with detached interest.

"What does she want?" Andrea asked.

"No idea" I replied, wishing I'd never received the text message.

"Are you going to respond to the text?" Andrea asked.

"I dunno, maybe. Fuck, why of all people, did SHE have to text me?" I asked, looking up at the darkened ceiling and shaking my head in disbelief.

"Honey if you don't want to answer her text, then don't. You don't owe her or anyone else, anything!" Andrea said, leaning up on one elbow and looking down at me within the darkened bedroom.

"Auntie Colleen was the only decent one in that whole bunch, Andrea. I'll probably answer the goddamn text, out of obligation if nothing else." I said, sighing with disgust.

"You can choose your friends but not your family, Tim. You're stuck with your family, good, bad or indifferent. I'm very fortunate in that regard" Andrea said quietly.

"I'm not going to deal with it now, Andrea, if I do answer her it'll be when I'm damn good and ready" I replied with conviction.

"Do you think she wants money from your mom's estate?" Andrea asked.

"No, Auntie Colleen wasn't like that -- everyone else in that fuckin' family is ...or was, but not her" I answered.

There was a long silence between us then as we held each other, each lost in our own thoughts. Pronto the black kitty cat suddenly jumped up onto our bed and, walking across my chest, abruptly flopped down and began purring. We had seen Pronto sporadically throughout the evening but she had been too busy protecting us humans and the canine from mice to have paid much attention to any of us. Obviously Pronto was now "off duty."

"Hey baby, you doing ok?" I asked the little cat as Andrea and I began petting her.

"She looks like a little panther, I noticed" Andrea said affectionately.

"Yes, she's beautiful, Honey" I replied.

"Tim, what's really on your mind now" Andrea now asked after a silence.

"...Andrea do you remember the night in the palazzo at the condo, when we first talked?" I asked after a silence.

"When you said that I should stop being self-centered and buy you dinner, you mean?" Andrea asked affectionately.

"Yes, I'd been looking at Mom's carnival photo on my phone when you sat down next to me; you thought the photo of Mom was my girlfriend, remember?" I asked.

"I was hoping, against hope, that she wasn't" Andrea openly admitted.

" ...(sigh)... I'd been doing some soul searching that night when you sat down beside me, Andrea. When Ricky and I were small, the size of Kathy, Mom would sometimes slowly caress our faces and look deeply into our eyes. Mom did this out of a mother's love but Ricky and me became embarrassed by this as we got older and thought it was weird whenever Mom would do that. ...Then later, when I was in my twenties and thirties, I slowly began to understand. I began to understand when I saw the love and pride within my mother's eyes whenever she would caress my face.

When I was in my forties and fifties I began to see the deep joy in Mom's eyes whenever she would caress my face ...but my own maturity also allowed me to see a deep wound and pain within her eyes that she had always kept hidden from Ricky and me. I never understood what the pain in Mom's eyes actually was until today, when that young family sat next to us at the restaurant and the mom began wiping her youngest son's face and looking into his eyes, Andrea. When that young mom in the booth next to us, did that, I suddenly realized what the wound and pain in Mom's eyes had been." I said quietly.

"When your mother would caress your faces, she not only saw what handsome young men that you'd both become but she also saw your likeness to the one and only man that she'd ever truly loved, Rick Sheffield" Andrea said pulling me closer.

"How did you know that, Andrea?" I asked astonished, turning my head toward her.

"Because I'm a mom, too, Honey" Andrea replied simply.

"We took Mom, so for granted, Andrea, - aw damn it!" I cursed softly at the tears that began flowing.

"Honey, the only way you're ever going to get through this, is to let it out. Let the tears fall where they may, tears of grief have nothing to do with being a tough guy or not" Andrea said firmly and rubbing my chest.

"You're a strong woman, Andrea Millhouse" I said through the tears as I pulled her closer to me and continued to pet the purring Pronto.

"Tim, Lovisa Donovan was extremely proud of her two sons, I know this from Brenda. Your mother loved and adored Brenda and the two of them were much closer than either you or Ricky ever realized. They confided in each other often, the good, the bad and the disheartening - and anything else that pertained to both you and Ricky. Lovey was the most heart broken when Ricky was refused by the Military. She never wanted to see either of her sons ever go to war but when the Military rejected Ricky, he changed dramatically and withdrew even further into himself.

It was Lovey's belief that, Brenda, was the only reason Ricky was still alive after the Military rejected him. You and Brenda were the only ones in Ricky's life, other than Lovey herself, that ever gave Ricky any sense of direction or purpose - however much his huge ego tries to deny it. By then you were in Alaska working and living your own life but Ricky wasn't, he was still at home and he was ashamed by the Military's rejection of him and he sank into a severe depression. Then Brenda came along and she and Ricky fell - end over tea kettle, for each other. Your mother told Brenda that every night she would get down on her knees and thank God for Brenda, Tim." Andrea said firmly.

"Yes, I can totally believe that, Andrea. Brenda changed Ricky, I know, and for the better. ...As a kid, Ricky had always wanted to join the Marines - talked about it all the time. After he failed their written exam, so they said, he tried them all after that, AirForce, Army, Navy, Coastguard and the lot. All to no avail, it was their loss, Ricky would have made a damn fine soldier" I replied after a long silence.

"Wasn't meant to be, Baby" Andrea replied softly.

Andrea and I continued to pet Pronto as I thought of that time period of our lives during Ricky's young adulthood, it hadn't been easy for either of us then but Ricky had struggled considerably more, I knew. Maybe that's why Ricky had received the muscular build of Rick Sheffield and the Peter Frampton good-looks and I hadn't, the Peter Frampton good-looks which my beautiful mother had provided him.

That muscular build and Peter Frampton good-looks had swept Brenda completely off her feet at first glance, and she'd been hooked for life to this very day. She worshiped the ground that Ricky walked on and always would; Mom had known this long before any of us had ever realized it. ...Mom had always been so exceedingly wise in matters of the heart. Within a few short weeks I would be giving away my little brother, in marriage, to the one and only woman he had ever loved other than Mom. I suspected that my mother had known all along that this day would come to pass; I just wish she could have seen it for herself.

A thunderstorm, complete with strong wind and heavy rainfall now began outside. In my mind's eye I saw my mother's eyes and felt a peace come upon me now. Life is good, I thought. Andrea and I were tucked safely in a warm bed within a warm house and surrounded by friends. Pronto the kitty cat would guard and protect us throughout the night and soon Andrea and I would give Ricky away in marriage.

Another peace now came to me as well, the inner peace that comes from making a life changing decision, a decision which I would act upon within the relative near future, a decision that would bring joy to Mom's beautiful brown eyes.

Just before drifting off to sleep I pulled Andrea Millhouse closer to me as my mother's words from long ago descended upon me once more...

"The Tin Man wanted a heart, son."

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