Angela Ch. 02

We managed to study and do homework for the next hour or two as well as keep an eye on Asia, and when our schoolwork was done we sat on the ground and played with the baby for a while. I was just as enraptured with the little girl as I was with her mother. I couldn't get enough of either one of them and I couldn't believe that they hadn't always been a part of my life.

Hours later after we had eaten dinner and put the baby to bed Angela and I were laying together in her bed, the need to consume her had diminished for the moment and I was content top just hold her and be held in return. I know we were both a little apprehensive about getting together with a house full of people below us and silence in the air all around us so instead we just lay there whispering to one another. The darkness made quietness seem like an absolute necessity. We talked about everything and nothing at all as I listened to her heart beat. I was drifting off to sleep as she continued to talk and somehow in the darkness she could tell, maybe my breathing gave it away. "Are you tired baby?"

"Uh-uh." I mumbled

"Yes you are baby, go to sleep."

"Uh-uh." I mumbled again not wanting to fall asleep yet.

"I love you." She said I could hear the smile in her voice and although there was no way she could see my lips I returned the smile. "I love you too." I said hugging her a little before submitting to sleep.

When I awoke the next morning school didn't seem any more appealing than it had the day before but I knew I had to go. I took my time getting dressed because it was still important to me that everyone think that everything was normal. I didn't want to be a victim and I certainly didn't want to do anything to make Joey think that he had broken or changed me.

Angela looked at me when I stepped out into her room in a hot pink shirt that said spoiled rotten across the front in darker pink lettering and a short pleated pink plaid skirt. I had paired the outfit with hot pink high heels and put on some hoop earrings for effect. She looked me over and frowned just a little when she noticed the amount of makeup I was wearing . She hadn't seen me completely made up in weeks and to tell the truth I hadn't even felt the need make myself up until now. The day before I'd been way to nervous to even think about my appearance let alone concentrate on making myself look flawless.

"You look um...," Angie paused. "Nice," she finished.

"Um...thanks." I said wanting to roll my eyes at her. She should have been able to sense my need to try and be who they thought I was but instead she seemed slightly annoyed. I shrugged off my own annoyance and focused on the fact that she really cared about me, besides everything between us wouldn't always be perfect. We didn't say much to each other at breakfast or on the way to school but there was no tension in the silence we shared and for that I was glad. The day passed slowly but everything seemed normal.

It was almost easy for me to fall back into my daily routine, all of the friends who hadn't spoken to me for weeks were ready to surround me again and for my part I was willing to let them. I knew I wasn't being true to myself but in high school politics, internal emptiness was a thousand times better than loneliness, besides I was popular and that wasn't something I could just give up so easily. Joey for the most part just left me alone. If I'd been more skilled at assessing people I'd have known he was afraid of me no matter what he had told the police and his father. He knew he had beat me and he also knew I could easily ruin his reputation within the school. Like me, Joey couldn't exist without the love, adoration, and envy of others. Maybe I couldn't see it then because I just didn't want to admit the harsh truths about myself.

Because of the type of person she was Angela never tried to push my boundaries too much at school. Maybe she knew I wasn't ready or maybe she was afraid I'd choose everything I'd always been over everything we could be. At home we were inseparable but I didn't say much to her in school. I didn't mistreat her or even allow my so called friends to verbally assault her. When Amber tried to do so once I just gave her a look and told her how childish I found such things. Because I had a more dominant personality she had always submitted to my will. She was a follower even more so than I was. In those days I could have told her to walk ten steps behind me and she would have, just because I said so.

After my return to school, Angie and I started to have more and more conflicts at home. I continued to stay with her family because her parents didn't want me on my own so soon after an unresolved assault and in truth I was still afraid to be alone at all times. Angie wanted to take me out and I didn't want to go because I was afraid we'd be seen by someone from school. She wanted me to stop trying to be what everyone thought I should be and I wanted her to try and conform just a little. The both of us were more than a little stubborn and neither of us was willing to give an inch. Eventually she didn't want me to touch her anymore because she refused to be my secret shame.

Mia please can't you just admit that you don't want to be seen with me and stop dragging this entire out?" she would ask me

"I'm just not ready. Can't you give me some time," I'd reply again and again.

Finally one morning before school she told me,

"I've given you three months and you claim you love me but you can hardly even acknowledge my presence when your friends are near."

"Angela please just leave me alone will you?" I asked her as I applied lip gloss in the mirror.

"Yes," she said calmly. "I can do that." Then she snatched up her book bag and ran down the stairs.

"Shit." I said to no one in particular as I went after her. She was waiting in the kitchen because after all I was her ride to school.

"Angela please, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

"Yeah apparently you say a lot that you don't mean," she said looking into my eyes.

We left it at that because her brothers and sisters were sitting around the table. Each of them had stopped eating and was staring at us. In the car I pleaded with her again "Baby please I just...I don't even know how to explain it."

"Don't bother," she said, turning up the radio, making it impossible to talk without screaming.

I was worried and preoccupied in school because I was starting to feel like I had pushed her away one too many times. Even though I was upset I was still playing my role, Amber and I sat together at lunch as usual along with Maria and Chastity my other supposed best friends, but I couldn't focus on what the hell they were going on about. It was hateful gossip as usual but I wasn't really interested in it anymore. It dawned on me that I didn't like these girls very much at all but I was also afraid not to be a part of them. We were the "Mean Girls" of our school, the girls that everyone loved and hated all at once, except this wasn't some movie with a happy ending. If I walked away from who they were, and who I had always been, I wouldn't be some underdog who ended up as prom queen. I'd be an outcast and a loser. I didn't think I could handle that and I wasn't about try, being who I wasn't was far easier than owning who I was.

I was about to make some excuse to get away from them when Angela walked past the table where we were sitting, she was talking to a girl from the track team whose name I couldn't recall both of them were holding trays of food. Before I knew what was happening Amber slid her high heeled foot into Angela's path and she tripped, she didn't fall but she did stumble and spill food all over herself and the floor. I flinched and Amber made her eyes wide. "Oopsie." She said as nearly everyone in the cafeteria laughed.

I stood up as Angela turned around and looked at her. "What the fuck is your problem you little bitch" she said to Amber as she leaned over the table.

Amber moved back and looked a little afraid but wasn't about to show it. "It was an accident." she said with a shrug as a cafeteria monitor approached.

Angela leaned closer and Amber actually moved her chair back "The hell it was."

"Get away from me dyke." Amber said her face.

I could tell Angie was about to slap the hell out of her and with good reason too but I didn't want that to happen. Not because I cared much about what happened to Amber but because I knew they would suspend Angela.

"Don't touch her," I said, and when I spoke Angela turned and looked at me.

"Afraid I'll hurt your little friend Mia?" she asked angrily.

"What's going on here?" the monitor asked after finally having made her way to us. She was at least seventy and I doubted she could break up a fight. We all ignored her and she just stood there. Since we weren't actually engaged in a fight there was not much she could do but observe. Hell we weren't even shouting.

"No, I'm afraid you'll get in trouble," I said. I knew she was mad because I hadn't said a word when Amber had tripped her and now it looked like I was jumping to Amber's defense. Not to mention all of the tension that surrounded our relationship of late.

"Whatever," Amber butted in. "It's not like anyone wants her here anyway."

I could see Angie was about to lose it so I pleaded with her. "Please just walk away."

Again Angela turned to me. I knew I had to be there for her in a way I had never even imagined I could be. The look in her eyes told me if I didn't then she'd look at me differently and maybe even lose some of the feelings she had for me. I wasn't willing to risk even a small portion of her love and I was so glad that we had shared our feelings, because if I had been even a little uncertain of how she felt I wouldn't have had the courage to put everything on the line for her. I was willing to conform and give me up but I wasn't about to lose her.

"Baby please, you know she's not worth it lets just walk away." She didn't spare Amber another glance but I since I was facing the girl it was impossible for me not to see the shock on her face.

Angela took my hand and we walked out of the cafeteria together it felt like all eyes were on us and most of them were. She changed into her track outfit because it was clean, and she didn't say much to me as we sat there in the girls locker room and I wondered if she was still mad. I stood up and was about to leave when she finally spoke.

"Mia I can't believe you did that..." She was speaking softly and I couldn't pinpoint the emotion in her voice.

I opened my mouth to speak but she went on before I could. "I know that this is all new to you and I didn't expect..." She paused again and I noticed tears in her eyes.

"This is going to be so hard." She said letting the tears fall

I still didn't get what she was saying but I wanted to comfort her so I hugged her and told her everything was okay. She wrapped her arms around my waist and spoke again.

"No baby it's going to be hard and it's going to be shitty and most of all it's going to be unfair. I never wanted to put you through that. I just wanted you to not be ashamed of me, or yourself. You should have just left it alone and not said anything."

I pulled back to look into her eyes, "No I couldn't have just done that, I was never ashamed of you I was ashamed of me and I...I just...I don't know it's so hard to be different but I really do love you and I think you love me too. It wasn't fair for me to ask you to pretend any differently and it certainly wasn't right for me to do so."

She gave me a kiss and wiped the tears I hadn't even know were falling from my eyes "I love you too, I don't want you to ever doubt that again. I'm sorry too, for trying to force you to be me when the only person I'd ever be satisfied with you being is you."

I shrugged and sighed as we parted, the bell would be ringing soon and then I'd be on my own.

The rest of the day wasn't as bad as I would have thought but it certainly wasn't good. First of all everyone was talking about us. More specifically they were talking about me. I was the center of attention and for the first time I hated it. Some girls shied away from me as if I was going to attack them, other people made it a point to "accidentally" run into me and knock my books from my hand, or shove me against the lockers that lined the hall. Twice I had to lock myself in a bathroom stall and cry because even though I'd been a observer and yes even a sometimes participant in such cruelty I had never been on the other side of it. I kept remembering that Angela had put up with this and worse for the entire school year. I wondered where she got her strength from because I also wondered why none of the adults had bothered to stop what was going on. By the end of the day I was emotionally exhausted, I wanted to cut social studies but I couldn't very well just leave Angela stranded at school and sitting in the car for forty-five minutes didn't appeal to me on little bit.

When I got to class I saw that Amber had set her books and her purse down in the seat next to her, the seat where I usually sat. I wasn't that upset but it did hurt a little after all we'd been friends since seventh grade and although I realized I didn't like the person she had become in the past two years I knew the girl she had been before that. Still there was no time for a flashback of all the good times. I turned away from her and sat in the seat I'd been avoiding all year. Angie turned when I sat next to her. She smiled at me winked without saying a word. I spent the whole class staring at her and not paying attention at all. If I had been focused on anything except for Angie I might have noticed that almost everyone was watching me watch her.

Class moved by more quickly than I'd thought it would, Angela and I gathered our books and left together. We were in the parking lot when some guy screamed "Mia, you fucking dyke!" I'd been hearing that all day so it wasn't the words alone that made my heart beat more quickly. I walked faster and Angela sped up to catch me I jumped in the car and she did the same.

"Baby don't let them scare you they're just ignorant."

I didn't say anything I just started the car and drove away from the school. I was shaking and Angie was just staring at me. "That was Joey," I told her. She nodded and clicked her tongue ring against her teeth. It bothered me that she didn't tell me not to worry about him.

We drove the rest of the way home in silence. Just as we were about to pull up in her driveway Angela looked at me.

"Mi can we go to your house?" As she spoke she ran the tips of her left fingers up the inside of my right leg.

She hadn't touched me for a few months because I had been pushing her away in so many ways on an emotional level. I didn't even answer her, I just backed out of her driveway and drove down to my house. I put my car in the garage and we entered the house. After disarming the alarm that Mr. Montonaro had insisted on turning on after the incident with Joey, I got Angie the phone so she could call her mother. She dialed the number and waited while the phone rang.

"Mom it's me, some stuff happened at school and Mia and I really need to sort of talk and stuff so could you watch Asia for a few more hours?"

Angie paused for a moment and then laughed. "Thanks mom." She hung up the phone and handed it back to me.

"What's so funny?" I asked her.

"My mother was trippin."

"What do you mean?"

"She said she heard us pull up in the driveway and then back out again, then she said to make sure you didn't talk me to exhaustion."

I laughed a little and Angie was cracking up "Wait girl this is the best part: she was like 'keep the windows shut to make sure the neighbors don't hear your conversation.'"

"Damn I think your mom played us," I said when I stopped laughing.

"I know, right ." she said.

I shrugged "Oh well at least she's cool with keeping the baby."

"Yeah." Angie said as she stepped closer to me.

Because I was wearing my high heels I was a few inches taller than her she wrapped her arm around my neck and pulled me down to kiss her lips. Her mouth was warm and soft and wet and I loved kissing her again. The way she ran her tongue over my lips made me hot and a little dizzy, and more than a little breathless. When she pulled away I was slightly dazed. "Damn girl," I said.

She laughed and pulled me toward the stairs. When we got to my room she said "Wait a minute." I waited while she went into my bathroom I heard water running and then she was back. She had a dark blue wash cloth in her hand. The cloth was wet and she handed it to me. I took it and washed my face because I knew that's what she wanted me to do, then I tossed the washcloth into a mostly empty hamper in the corner.

"Why don't you like my makeup?" I asked as I walked over to the dresser to get some moisturizer for my skin.

"I do," she said, taking the lotion from my hands and squeezing some into her palm. She rubbed it in her hands and smoothed it over my face before going on. "I just don't want it all over the place, and besides, I love the way your face looks now. I mean...," she paused. "I don't think I've ever told you that you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

She actually blushed after she said the words, which made two of us. She had lowered her eyes so I knew she hadn't seen the color rush to my cheeks. I waited for her to look at me before I spoke.

"That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me."

I kissed her again and she wrapped her fingers in my hair and tugged gently as her tongue touched the tip of mine. I moaned and ran my hands up and down her back. She was the first to pull away. She took off her shoes and her shorts then her top. She was standing there in a surprisingly feminine baby blue lace bra and panties set. I loved the contrasts and contradictions that made up who she was. I couldn't stop staring at her. She started to blush again which I thought was the cutest thing I'd ever seen.

"Mi could you stop staring?" she asked getting on the bed and wrapping herself inside my comforter.

I shook my head "No I really can't." I sat down and pulled the cover away from her.

"You're gorgeous," I told her, running my fingertip over her collar bone and down between her breasts. She gasped as I kept touching her. My finger moved in a straight line down her abdomen, past her belly button and over the fabric covering her pussy, before moving back up. The whole time I was touching her I was watching her eyes. The way they seemed to get darker and deeper fascinated me.

I moved my hand away just for a moment, I needed both hands to take the ponytail out of her hair, I didn't want to just yank it out so I undid it gently. Her hair fell well past her shoulders and I loved seeing it unbound like this. I ran my hands through her hair over and over from roots to tip and she let me, for a while anyway. I would have kept it up except for the fact that Angie had started running her hands up and down my thighs under my skirt.

"I want you." That's all she said, hell that was all she needed to say. I stood up and took off my shirt then I started to kick of the shoes I was still wearing.

"Keep those on."

I raised my eyebrow and looked at her, and she shrugged. "What? I like them."

I laughed and unbuttoned the black skirt I'd been wearing. When it fell to the ground I stood there for a moment in a neon orange thong and bra and a pair of black high heeled shoes. Then I took off the bra and underwear while she watched I picked up my clothes and walked over to the hamper and put them in. I knew she was watching my every move and I liked the attention. When I turned around she was sitting on the bed with her legs open touching herself through her panties. She had one foot pressed flat against the mattress and the other foot resting on the floor. Angie was staring at me as I watched her. She had her lips slightly parted and she was breathing faster than usual.