Angels of Rain and Lightning

"Okay! So, the idea is-" Dr. Insano said, his arms lashed to his side by a flaming hoop, his body suspended from a crude pulley system set up by one of Lady DG's roperangs. "-basically, Ozymandias, her face is recognizable, because she was on those campaign ads, so we feed them into facial recognition software and we track her down!"

"That's not a bad idea," Lady DG said, nodding as she looked at Hoopster -- her arms straining slightly as she kept suspending the slowly rotating Dr. Insano.

"No, it's an awful idea," Beta said, shaking his head. "If we put in any program like that, Maddie will get tipped off. We need to find her in a way that won't get her tipped off in any way, shape or form." He paused, thinking as he did so. Dr. Insano rubbed his chin.

Hoopster, who had one of her hoops out and was twirling it around her finger, said: "We could ask Archive?"

They all looked at her.

"Well, Archive is powerful. But everyone knows Ozzy is the brains of the operation." Hoopster rubbed her free hand along her cheek, almost knocking her mask askew. "So, we just need to ask Archive. He's got a twitter. So long as we ask him in the right way, he won't tell Ozzy, right?"

Dr. Insano squirmed inside of his hoops -- the rotating motion of his restraints meant he was now upside down. "I could check, using science!"

Beta, meanwhile, had just pulled out his phone. His ears perked up and he chuckled. "Well, fuck my duck and call me a cuck: He tweeted, two hours ago, that he was going to see that new movie. War of the Gods?"

"Ugh!" Hoopster made a gagging face. "That tripe?"

"I like Marvel movies," Beta said, frowning.

"Historical revisionism, pandering to the masses!" Dr. Insano snarled.

"I gotta side with Hoopy and Noah," Lady DG said, nodding as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Marvel movies take historical events, whitewash the fuck out of them, and repackage them for the lowest common denominator."

Beta shrugged. "They're still fun, though." He grinned, then tapped a few buttons on his phone. "And I know which theater they're going to."

"How?" Dr. Insano asked -- the rotation of his restraints now facing him towards the ground.

Beta flipped his phone around, to show the trending hashtag.

#ArchiveSoHot

"He's not that cute!" Lady DG muttered while the Hoopster coughed, flushed, and kicked at the floor.

"I'm cuter," Dr. Insano muttered under his breath.

***

Beta wore a trench coat and hat -- the universally accepted garb of a mutated animal who wanted to be on the down low while out and about -- as he slapped down a few crumpled bills at the ticker taker. The ticker taker grinned at him. "I hear it's super good!" he said, taking the money, then handing over a ticket. "It'll be on theater three, on your left."

"Thanks," Beta said -- then walked into the Amiplex 340, which was located in the middle of a large mall in a suburb near San Franthreeco. The city, like most cities in the world had updated its name based on how many times it had been leveled in a superpowered brawl. Beta wondered, for a moment, if any cities still had their original name sans any number. But before he could wonder about that, he saw...Archive.

The superhero was in his costume and Beta had to admit.

He...was pretty cute.

Archive had a face built for smiling, with bright purple eyes that were currently concealed by a domino mask. His hair was free and short cropped and dark, while his body fit the trim, athletic build of most superheroes. He wore a black body-suit that clung to every curve, with a golden triangle of over shorts, golden trim around the shoulders, and a dark red cape. He was currently flexing and posting for a gaggle of girls who were all holding cellphones and snapping pictures eagerly.

"Archive, Archive!" a girl squealed. "Can I get your signature?!"

"Uh, sure!" the superhero said, clearly not realizing what a horrible mistake he had made. Suddenly, the entire theater seemed to descend on him. He was buried under a wave of offered papers, popcorn containers, pens and books. Beta was pretty sure he even saw one of the younger, more exuberant girls rolling her shirt up to expose her perky breasts for him to sign. Then all Beta could see of Archive was a single arm, reaching to the heavens as he was buried.

Beta shook his head and headed for the theater.

Stepping in was like a cold dash of water being slapped into his face. His mind unfolded and, for a few seconds, he saw with terrible certainty the fate that waited for him. He was standing before a dark figure, and he knew that he would die. His balls clenched and his stomach turned to pure liquid as fear gripped him. Then another person bumped against his back -- clearly not getting the memo that Beta had stopped in his tracks.

"Hey, buddy, we gotta get seats," a gruff male voice spoke from behind him.

Beta shook his head. He was no longer blessed -- or cursed -- with that horrible foresight. But he knew what it meant. He stepped forward with a muttered apology and looked around for any sign of Madeline Deinhardt. Fortunately, the theater was currently lit up brightly enough that he could spot the cheerfully skipping teenage girl as she headed for a seat at the far, far, far back corner of the theater. Beta gulped, then remembered: The more moronic the plan, the less likely it was that she'd predict it. So...

He walked up after her and sat down three seats away. This put him next to a very old man who was currently snoring softly -- and that meant that his intellect stay at roughly human levels. Which, Beta thought, was kind of a relief. Even if it put him at a disadvantage. But since intellect was a logarithmic scale, being a Class 15 intellect next to Maddie's Class 16 intellect would put him just as far behind.

Maddie giggled, then grinned. "Hey Beta," she said, cheerfully.

Beta smiled. "Just here for the movie."

"Liar!" She thrust her finger at him. "Though, I gotta ask..."

"Yes?" Beta asked.

"Hows the transition going?" she asked.

"Uh..." Beta blinked, then shrugged. "Pretty good." He shifted, trying to get his tail to settle properly. "Still kinda low on the testosterone, but you know." He frowned. "Why do you care?"

"I care about everyone, Beta," Maddie said. "So, I'm just going to tell you once. Don't even think about it. Okay?"

Beta paused, then sighed. "There are bombs in our heads." He whispered.

Maddie frowned, slowly. "What kind of bombs?"

"Big ones. Put in by some goon called the Gatekeeper," Beta said. He wished he had popcorn to crunch on. The man sitting next to him shifted in his seat, snoring quietly.

Maddie considered. But before she could speak, Archive appeared. One moment, he wasn't there. The next, he was. And he was out of costume. In simple jeans and T-shirt, Archive looked...well, like an incredibly fit, incredibly cute teenager. He grinned at Maddie, leaning back in his seat as he settled down. He looked like he had just run fifty miles -- from the way he wiped at his forehead and the way he sprawled in the chair.

"You okay, Xander?" Maddie asked.

"Just got mobbed. But I have Princess Radi make a duplicate out of nanites and holograms. Someone from my PR council is running it while I get to watch the trailers." He patted Maddie's thigh gently -- not even noticing Beta. Beta leaned back in his seat, while Maddie licked her lips, then shifted from her seat to Xander's seat. Her thighs spread as she straddled his hips, her chest pressed to his. Her palms spread across his shoulders as she leaned her head forward, her lips almost pressing to his as she purred.

"I got something better for you to watch..."

"M-Maddie, there's a dude right next to-" Xander started.

Beta, whose eyes were closed to slits, faked a snore.

Maddie giggled. "Don't worry about him, Xander." She leaned forward, kissing him on the mouth. And for the first time in his life...Beta thought he could see love. Real love. Not something full of conditions and requirements and hidden snipes. The way that Xander melted into Maddie. The way Maddie gave her mouth and her hands to Xander, her attention narrowing from the whole world to him. He could see it out of the corner of his eyes and was entranced. Xander's tongue swirled as he drew his mouth back, panting softly.

"Maddie..." he breathed.

"Shh." Maddie put a thin finger on his lip. Her hips bucked slightly, and her voice was coy. "Want to skip the foreplay?"

"Jesusyes." The words slurred together, and Maddie got to work. She reached down, tugging and unzipping and pushing. Beta could see hints as his eyes adjusted to the gathering darkness of the theater. There was Xander's cock and Jesus was right. He looked like he topped twelve inches, and thick around as Maddie's wrist. From the excited coo in Maddie's voice, she liked what she was feeling. Her palm slicked up and down his cock as she undid the zipper of her own jeans with her free hand.

Then the Amiplex announcement rang out: "And now, for the trailers that you popcorn riddled grubs so desperately crave. Sit and watch, popgrubs! Watch!"

Maddie squeaked, looking over her shoulder excitedly. Xander had a clear solution. He took hold of her hips, picked her up, and spun her around. Soon, Maddie was seated on his lap, leaning back as Xander looked over her shoulder. If one looked from a distance, one might think that they were just a normal cute couple. But Beta could see Xander's hand holding his cock, grinding himself against the heat of Maddie's slit. She was utterly hairless.

"Yessss..." Maddie hissed.

"Mmm, you want my cock bad, don't you?" Xander murmured into her neck, kissing her as the fat tip of his dick started to spread her cunny, sinking inch by inch into her. Maddie bit her lip, hard, then shook her head.

Xander's brow furrowed -- but as his cock sank halfway into her sex, Maddie opened her mouth and breathed out: "New...Jurassic Park..."

"Sweet!" Xander sat up -- and this motion caused Maddie to sink another few inches down on his cock. Beta knew that they had to have done this a bunch. They were superheroes (well, a superhero and supervillain, technically) and teenagers and madly in love. But despite that, the noises that Maddie made -- soft, choked down noises that barely rose above quiet giggles and whimpers -- were the noises of someone who was feeling something new and marvelous. Out of the corner of his eye, Beta could see that Maddie's belly muscles were tightening. He wondered what it must feel like.

But now, Beta was running into a serious issue.

His own cock was straining against his jeans hard enough that they might rip. And as he was seated near to Archive, it was even chances that his dick might actually get strong enough to-

Beta was saved by the fact that most trailers these days ripped off Inception. As the blaring, droning brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnn sound exploded from the speakers, it covered the small rrrrip noise as his jeans tore and his cock thrust proudly into the darkness between his furred thighs. He felt huge. Which, again, made sense. He was seated next to Archive. His palm closed around the base of his knot, and slowly slid up, trying to angle his cock forward rather than upwards.

He had to be...

Well.

Eleven inches.

Of course.

Beta started to pump his cock with subtle, slow motions -- a sensation that was nearly as frustrating as not touching himself at all. His movements were unnoticed by Xander, whose eyes were closed to slits as he started to fuck harder into Maddie, his hands grabbing onto her hips to keep her rooted. Maddie, for her part, was entirely focused on biting her lower lip, her eyes growing hooded as orgasm after orgasm exploded through her. She kept herself still enough and quiet enough that the only hint was the tightening of her muscles, the slight arch of her back, and the wet drip of her juices sliding along Xander's massive balls.

"So close," Xander hissed.

Beta's hand was moving faster and faster now. He couldn't stop the building excitement. He felt his own balls tingling and knew that he was about to coat the hair of the woman sitting in the row ahead of him. His eyes cast around wildly. He noticed the sleeping old man next to him had bought a huge carton of popcorn. Without thinking, Beta grabbed onto it. His member twitched and his cum spurted into the popcorn as he trembled and hissed out a low, quiet: "Fuck."

At the same time, Xander thrust up once and let out a groaning: "Yes!"

But since he had done so at the same time the entire audience had started to cheer wildly at the end of the Ready, Player One trailer, he was ignored.

Xander sagged and Maddie purred, miming blowing on a cigarette as she lounged against him

Beta felt his cock soften.

Then the popcorn he had set down was pick up as the old man sat up. He grinned, then looked at Beta.

"You know," he said. "I used to be a superhero myself. Sly Stan, they called me." His mustache flicked as he popped the popcorn into his mouth. "Mmm! The butter they make here -- well, it sure ain't butter, but it's delicious."

Beta spent the entire opening credits trying to tuck his cock back into his pants.

The movie started with Xander and Maddie still locked in their post-fuck embrace. They held one another, watching happily as the film started in 1989 -- it captured the period perfectly. The most impressive effect, Beta thought, was getting the moon to look like how it did before the events of the film. He had never seen it in anything but pictures, but the film made it seem as if the Earth really did have a moon again. The other remarkable thing was how accurate the movie was in its casting. Chris Evans really did look like Hyperion!

Beta lost himself in the drama of the film. Of the heroes of Earth banding together to create the Aegis Defenders when they were warned by the Cosmic Anvil that Darkthornn was coming to conquer Earth and claim her power for his own. Then there was the third act blowout that the whole movie had been built around. A dramatized recreation of the Darkthornn invasion. It was done with CGI and historical recreators, and the effect was electrifying.

They had Kalakill -- Darkthornn's son -- dropping through the atmosphere with his fifteen thousand Shrike killer-bots.

They had Grandmother Dementos, bringing the nightmares of millions to life to battle Zandros and Houdini in an arcane battle that spanned space, time, and dimensions.

They had Darkthornn striding down the main avenue of Manfourtan -- which, in the 80s, hadn't been submerged.

And they had...

The speech.

On the silver screen, Darkthornn was standing above Hyperion. It was during the 'all was lost' moment, when it looked as if Darkthornn would claim the Cosmic Anvil and become a true god. Hyperion, then, stood up. At that moment, Beta didn't see an actor. Beta saw the real moment -- in full color, with perfect sound.

"None of us will quit, Darkthornn. Not while our hearts are still beating..." Hyperion grinned. "I got a different problem from my friends, though." He slammed his fist into Darkthornn's belly with a concussive blast that caused every unbroken window in the city to explode in a shower of fragments. Darkthornn skidded backwards, a look of pure shock on his face.

"I live. In a world." Hyperion stepped forward, smashing fist after fist into Darkthornn, punching him backwards as Darkthronn's body became wreathed in purple fire -- locking him in place. "Of CARDBOARD!" The last blow smashed into Darkthornn's face, sending him flying upwards. Hyperion rocketed after him, the camera sweeping with him. "Always holding back! Never using my full strength! But you?" Darkthronn tried to recover, but Hyperion had grabbed his chest-piece and was holding him up, lit by the glow of the Earth behind him.

"You can take it. Can't you, ugly?" Hyperion grinned -- then punched Darkthornn with every inch of his strength. The would be god flew off at relativistic speeds and smashed into the moon with an explosion of dust and debris so big that it obscured a quarter of that silvery orb. The entire theater burst into wild cheers. Beta was among them, springing to his feet as he shouted.

"Yeah!"

This was why he loved fucking Marvel movies.

Maddie, though, had her hands over her face.

Because she -- and Beta, really -- knew how the history went.

The music cut off and Hyperion sagged in space. A glowing purple spear had appeared in his chest -- thrown by a battered, but far from dead, Darkthornn. He sagged as the music started to play some of the most soulful lament that Beta had heard. Coming after the glorious smackdown, it felt like a punch to the gut. He slowly sagged down in his seat as the film followed the rest of history.

Darkthornn's forces were routed by the heroes on Earth, while two civilians both took the ultimate plunge. Dr. Karl Singh -- who had been a side character in the background of the film -- saved five million people by tricking Grandmother Dementos into following him into an intrinsic field subtractor. The two dissolved into nothingness. Meanwhile, a school teacher named Megan Corwin, stood against one of Darkthornn's generals -- a being called Maw - as he advanced towards the Cosmic Anvil's hiding place, which had turned out to be underneath a simple Ohioan town.

The Cosmic Anvil gave her the power cosmic.

Dr. Singh reconstructed himself out of sheer willpower.

And thus, Dr. Quantum and Connie Cosmic faced Darkthornn as he gloated over Hyperion's body. The resulting battle was spectacular, even if it ended up blowing the moon to chunks, and the movie ended with the war being over. The ending text was somber: This film is dedicated to the three hundred and ninety eight heroes who sacrificed themselves to save billions -- and to the two billion, four hundred million souls who lost their lives. We shall never forget their sacrifices.

Four standing ovations, two end credit scenes, and a bunch of excited people talking about what the next Marvel historical drama would be later, and Beta was walking behind Xander and Maddie as they headed out.

Beta felt...

Conflicted.

But the ticking bomb in his head butted in.

Right.

Xander and Maddie headed left, towards the parking lot near the theater.

And that was when the white panel van drove up. The side door opened and Lady DG sprang out and hurled a boomerang at Maddie's head. Maddie looked surprised -- until the boomerang smacked into her temple and she collapsed. Xander gaped. "A fucking what!?" He yelped.

But as he looked Lady DG with a look of total flabbergasted disbelief, Beta leaped forward. One step, two, and then he was feeling almost as powerful as Xander. That strength surged through him and Beta slammed his fist into a curving upper cut -- smashing into Xander's back. The impact crackled and a sonic boom of compressed air exploded outwards, causing car windows to shatter, alarms to go off, people to scream. The panel van shuddered with the rippling impact of that blow.

And Xander flew outwards -- rocketing into space.

"Drive drive drive!" Beta shouted as he grabbed onto Maddie, leaped into the van.

Dr. Insano, who sat at the driver's seat, slammed on the peddle and they roared away.

"How long do we have?" Hoopster asked, one of her hoops at the ready.

"Until Archive reorients himself and comes back and kicks our ass," Beta said. Because Maddie was out cold, he didn't feel any smarter. Which was frustrating, because there was something that was bugging him.