All Comments on 'Anglica's Desire Ch. 01'

You get a 25 for actually writing the story. However, with a penname like yours, I suppose 'eliminated' is a suitable substitute for 'illuminated', in the very first line. And so on and on. The girl in your title is called Angelica. The girl in your story isn't. Thanks for trying, anyway. Freddy

where most of us do not do that much. I appreciate the attempt. I stopped reading 1/2 way through this first line, "The red LED display of the clock ELIMINATED the room with a red glow". The word you want is ILLUMINATED, not eliminated.

You are saying that the red LED display made the room to cease to exist. You wanted the line to say that the LED display caused the room to have light. Please get an editor, I get really turned off by spelling and grammer errors. This is a pet peave of mine.

I received an email, with no way to get in touch with the sender, which stated I was quite harsh in my earlier comment on tsunamibomb's story. I did not intend it that way and I apoligize if I was to critical. At least I always leave my contact information if others wish to discuss my opinions. I must point out that I stated that tsunamibomb made the attempt, where most people do not. That includes myself. The email pointed out that I spelled peeve as peave. I apoligize for that error also. I hope that tsunamibomb keeps writing and that through various comments, both good and bad, that his stories get better and better.

Drrrty mom. Hope ch 2 is hotter. Didn't even notice the eliminated/illuminated error, and I'm an Eng teacher!