Anna von Kleev Ch. 02: The Mission

Of course, Duke William insisted on sending a man with me, but Peter was the usual run of the mill courtier; well-born, sophisticated and with not an original idea in his head. We discussed what we were going to do, and he seemed relieved that I was intending to do the work.

Once we had King Henry's consent, we left for London, travelling to the Hague and from thence to London. Of the voyage, the less said the better; I am not a fish, nor an amphibian. We reached London in early September. My first impressions were that it smelled and was more crowded than any place I had ever seen.

We were met at the quay and taken to Whitehall Palace. I had heard that the King's chief minister, Thomas Cromwell was a butcher's son, true or not, he looked like a cross between a butcher and a pig. He was one of those men where the first sight saved you wondering whether you would like him or not; I disliked him at first sight. But he was important, and so, best foot forward. I could see from his scowl that he was not impressed that Cleeves had sent a petite woman to do business, so I seized that bull by its horns.

"My Lord, I am Lady Philippa de Beaulieu, and I am sent by the Grand Duke to talk with you about the possibility of a marriage between one of his sisters and your king. I have been sent because there are fears that after an annulment, a beheading and death in childbirth, the fate of such a wife might not be what his highness would want for a beloved sister."

I could see from the look on his face that I had stopped him in his tracks and caught his attention.

"But, of course, the great cause of the Protestant faith comes first, so I am sure you we can work to reassure the Grand Duke."

He looked relieved.

"Lady Philippa, it is a pleasure to meet you, and I can see you have a keen appreciation of the bigger picture."

It felt as though we had crossed swords successfully.

"The King will meet you before tonight's banquet to welcome you."

"Any advice, my Lord?"

I could see from the softening of his features that he liked that. I knew how to play men, especially men like him. Sex did not interest him, power did. By acknowledging his power, I had shown myself worthy of his time. By making it clear that the marriage was not a foregone conclusion, I had shown that he had need of me. The dance had begun, and would continue across the next three days.

Whitehall was a huge palace, far outshining anything we had back home. The wealth of England was clear, but so, too, was the tension about religious matters. It would become clear to me that Henry's interest in my mistress was as much to do with religion as with his desire for another male heir. France and Spain had remained Catholic, and England was dangerously isolated. Henry wanted to link up to the Schmalkaldic League, which Duke William helped lead. It was a powerful military alliance of Lutheran States within the Habsburg Empire, and links via a marriage with Cleves would offer an end to isolation.

I prepared carefully for the banquet. Henry clearly had an eye for women, and while I wanted to impress him, I had no desire to be his bedmate. Fortunately, my slender, small-breasted form, was unlikely to attract him. It was clear from what I had seen that English women were expected to display their wares, and having little to show, I was fairly sure I would be safe.

My maid dressed me, and Peter Hoffmann came to take me to the meeting with the King, which was to take place before the banquet.

My first impression of the King was his height. At six foot two, he was a foot and a half taller than me. With his red hair and striking features, he was one of the most handsome men I had ever seen. I would come to notice, on closer acquaintance that he limped, and that the injury which had caused the limp was one that restricted his activities in a way which was making him put on weight; but then, in 1539, it was nowhere near as bad as it became. He looked truly regal. He was also a chivalrous man.

"My Lady Philippa, a thousand welcomes to our realm. Please assure your Master of my good wishes, and I am honoured he has sent such a beautiful woman to plead the cause of his daughter."

That was very Henry. Gracious, but it was all about him. I was there to plead a cause, not to negotiate a settlement.

He bade me sit and had drinks brought to us, and then he asked about Cleves. I knew from the visit of his men back in March that he had already scoped us out, but it was, again, very much Henry to want more information; information was power, and Henry was all about power. He and Cromwell were two of a kind.

The conversation turned to the reason for my visit.

"I am told that both daughters are beautiful. This is true?"

I had no idea what his men (Wooten and Barnes) had told him, but I had no intention of gilding any lilies, yet.

"Your Highness, what woman would not be honoured to wed such a man as yourself? I cannot imagine any woman not being honoured to be considered by you."

The look on Cromwell's face was a picture, and for a moment I had trouble stopping myself smiling.

"You are too kind, my lady."

"I but speak the truth, your Highness. Both daughters are indeed suitable for you, but I think it best you get your painter, Holbein to return with me to paint their portraits. My lady Anna is tall and slender and the two of you would make a splendid portrait."

"But she was betrothed to Francis of Lorraine?"

"Was, being the word, your Highness. That was twelve years ago, and times have changed. She would not wed a Papist, but your reputation as Defender of the Faith appeals to her pious soul."

"She is a pious woman then? Not, I hope, one given to disputation on matters of religion?"

I knew that his second wife, Anne Boleyn had been much given to such arguments, so I hastened to reassure him.

"Your Highness, my lady Anna has been brought up to be a good, obedient wife and would ever take her lead from you, as she does now from her mother."

('And me', I added mentally).

He looked pleased.

"She sounds as though she would suit me. My late wife, Jane, was such. And would she be a mother to my motherless children?"

I knew he had three heirs, Mary, Elizabeth, and the young Edward.

"My lady would hope to add to your quiverfull, your Highness, and she has a gentle and maternal soul, and would, I am sure, take a mother's care of your children."

His smile told me much. Unlike many men, Henry was said to take an interest in his brood. Mary, the eldest, was already twenty-six. Barred from the throne after the annulment of Henry's marriage to her mother, Catherine, her lot was far from happy. She retained the old faith, and was seen by some as a rallying point for a Catholic restoration. Pious, but lacking the beauty of her parents, Mary's fate lay in her father's hands. The second daughter, Elizabeth, who was only six, was also barred from the throne after her mother's execution. That left the two-year-old Edward as the heir. There would be space yet for another, and if my lady Anna should produce a son, there would be a good chance that he would become king of England. There was, in short, much to play for. But there was also the matter of the dowry, and Duke William had been keen that I should bring that up; so I did.

"My master, honoured as he is at your interest, your Highness, is painfully conscious that he would not be able to endow his sister with the sort of dowry other kings could."

Henry clearly appreciated my honesty, and the chance to demonstrate his magnanimity.

"Tell him to worry not. Her beauty will be dowry enough. The king of England needs no dowry, just a loving and obedient wife to bear him heirs."

"That, your Highness, will assuredly be the case. It will help your cause."

"My cause needs help?" I could see anger beginning to smoulder.

"Duke William is a stern man, Your Highness, and knowing of your great reputation as the handsomest man in Europe, he fears that his precious sister might not be safe."

On the principle that one could never flatter a man too much, I laid it on with a trowel for the King, who forgot his anger as his pride basked in the compliment.

"You can assure him that his sister will be the object of my devotion. So, we are agreed? I shall send Holbein to paint both sisters, and subject to that, I shall marry one of them."

"As Your Highness wishes, so shall it be. I think my lady Anna will please you most."

His smile would have lit a palace. His self-regard was greater than any man I ever knew, but I had played it right. I learned later that Cromwell had commented that: "the little girl is smart enough to be a man." That was not doubt, the greatest compliment he could imagine.

The banquet which followed was a grand affair, and watching Henry, I could see easily how, without exercise, he was putting on weight. A family of four could have lived for a week on what that man ate at a single meal. If all his appetites were that gross, my poor lady was in for a torrid time as his wife; but such is the lot of woman.

I retired to my chambers afterwards, having avoided eating too much. How these people were not all obese could be explained only by a love of exercises such as jousting. I was surprised, having dismissed my maid, to hear a knock at my door. Rather hoping it was not the King come to "sound me out," I opened it, to be met not by a man bent on ravishing me, but by a young woman.

"My Lady, sorry to disturb you, but I am Lady Katherine Howard, and my uncle, the Duke of Norfolk has asked me to come to see if you are comfortable."

I was taken aback, not least by the fact that she was in her nightgown, the top of which was not laced up. I could see her breasts clearly.

"He would not want such an important guest to feel lonely."

There was no doubt, this young woman was flirting with me, nay, more than that, she had been send by her uncle to keep me sweet. Who was I to complain?

"How kind of him. Why did he not send a young man?"

"Would you prefer that, my lady?"

The fact that she was letting her nightgown fall from her left shoulder, rather suggested that the reason was that somehow, they knew my preferences. As I was not going to find out how, and as she was attractive, I invited her in.

She looked at me. Our eyes locked. She was only a little taller than me, but I invited her to my bed and, before she sat down, I helped her take her gown off. I could not but gasp; she was a beauty. Her pale skin was flawless, her breasts neither too small (like mine) nor too large, and her pubic hair was trimmed. If Norfolk was trying to gain my favour, he had succeeded.

Kate, as she liked to be called, came to me. She kissed me, her lips felt as sweet as her breath, and as my hands caressed her breasts, she emitted those tell-tale sounds which told me she liked it. Her nipples hardened under my touch, and as I licked, and then sucked, her right nipple, I slid a hand to her thighs, which she parted, ready to give me what I wanted. She was so wet that it was a matter of ease to press two fingers inside her gooey pussy, curling them up until she moaned.

"Fuck me, Mistress, fuck me hard, I need it!"

She may only have been nineteen, but this was a young woman who knew what she liked sexually, and as my fingers darted in deeper, twisting before pulling out and then back in, she thrust herself onto me. Her wantonness was arousing me, so I pushed her back onto the bed, sucking her hard nipples as my fingers teased her. I wondered if she had ever had a woman eat her out. There was only one way to find out.

I slide down the bed and covered her lips with my mouth. She went wild, her legs kicked, and she grabbed my hair and pressed herself onto me, rolling her hips as she did so.

"Yes, oh yes, yes, take me, take me hard!"

How could I refuse?

Fired up myself, I pushed my tongue up along her wetness until I could lick and flick her clit. Then, gripping her wonderful soft and flawless backside with one hand, I thrust three fingers hard into her sopping wet pussy. She gripped them greedily and began to press down and up on them. I sucked on her clit, which made her push all the harder. She got herself into a steady rhythm, panting harder with each thrust of my fingers. There was no way Kate was not going to orgasm more quickly than any woman I had ever met (all one of them, at that stage of my life, but the verdict has stood the test of time, even if she did not).

I pounded her, sucking hard, but it was when my teeth just scratched her clit that she exploded; and how! At first, I thought she had peed on me, but it neither tasted not smelt like pee. I would later learn that some women squirted when they orgasmed; Kate was the first one I had encountered.

"Don't stop, fuck me, fuck me harder!"

There was no stopping her. Leaving her clit to recover, I concentrated on fucking her hard, and it was only moments later that she came again. Even then, she begged for more, so more she got.

Eventually she cried: "Stop!"

I looked up from between her wet thighs. My face was as soaked as the bed. Our eyes met.

"Thank you!"

I levered myself up to kiss her.

"Is that how I taste?" She asked.

"It is - and you are delicious."

"I never climaxed so many times. The men who have had me cum once or twice and are then spent."

"That, Catherine, is the advantage of another woman."

"Call me Kate," she said. "I loved what you did. Can I do something like that for you?'

"Have you before?"

"Not like you did now. I have played with other girls, but what you did was just - well - the best."

I smiled. Kate certainly knew how to please. I did not think she was playing me, except in so far as she needed, for reasons I did not then understand, to please her uncle.

"Come here then."

I slid out of my nightgown and lifting her leg, I slid mine between hers, sliding up until I could kiss her breasts.

"Now," I said, "looking up," I am going to grind my pussy against yours."

She looked at me, nodding.

As our lips pressed together, the roughness of our hair added a frisson. Kissing her lips and gripping her backside, I pressed into her. She was a quick and eager learner. I felt her nails dig into my bum as she rolled her hips and pressed hard back. We rocked to and fro, building up a rhythm.

"Oh, fuck, I wish you had a cock, I need a fuck again," Kate moaned, looking at me. "I could go and get us a man."

"No, I want you like this," I said, firmly, moving so that out clits fenced together. That was the last we heard of adding a man to the mix, as she pressed harder back, pushing on just the right place before putting her head to my left breast and sucking hard on my nipple.

If I had found it hard not to orgasm while I was finger fucking Kate, I now found it impossible. The girl was insatiable, and the sensations from her sucking and our grinding met at my core, sending me over the edge, which set her off again. We came together, falling onto the bed, exhausted, at least in my case. It was a mark of her energy that she giggled.

"Did I tire you our, my lady?"

"You delighted me, my girl. I shall make sure that your uncle is aware. What does her want?"

"If your Mistress becomes Queen, my lady, I should appreciate becoming a lady-in-waiting."

It seemed typical of her naiveté that she should want so small a thing, and I was glad to agree to it. How little I knew then what would become of that promise.

"I should not stay the night, my lady, as the servants will be here in the morning, but if you have unfulfilled longings, I am happy to stay."

My heart went out to her. She just wanted to please and to be loved. I hugged her and for a while we lay together, cuddling and kissing.

"I do love to cuddle, my lady, and you are very sweet to me. If your lady becomes queen, I hope we can do more of this, for truly, I like you."

"And, Kate, I like you. So yes, should the stars align as we wish, I am sure this will not be our last time."

Ah Fate, how little did I know then what would become of that prediction. It is as well that a veil is cast over the future; no woman would manage were that not so.

Kate left before dawn, and I would not see her again for six months, but I did inform her uncle, whom I met the following morning, that I was sure that my mistress would welcome such a lady-in-waiting.

"Thank you, my lady. She will not regret it. The Howard family are a power in the land."

I saw Cromwell, who, as the day before, talked with me and not Peter Hoffmann, who was quite as surplus to requirements as I had imagined he would be.

"Holbein will be going back with you, Lady Philippa. I can, I hope, trust you to see that the portrait is what I need?"

"You can, my lord. I shall ensure that the Duchess and Duke William are made aware of the wider significance of this match which will, as we both know, bolster the Protestant alliance in Europe."

He smiled that strange smile of his. It resembled nothing so much as it did the silver plate on a coffin lid; it had something sinister about it.

"I see we understand each other. I do hope, Lady Philippa, that this contribution towards your expenses will be a mark of my own gratitude."

The purse he handed me contained a hundred pounds sterling - which was a sum that could have bought me my own manor. I did not require payment, but not being a fool, I was not going to turn his money down. It would, I thought, give me a suitable degree of independence should I need it. It would also do no harm for him to think he had bought something he could have had for free - my cooperation.

I had much to think of on the long journey back to Dusseldorf.