Annie Says "Maybe" Ch. 04

Ch.4 -- Professional Help

One Month After the Anniversary

"I have the pussy. I make the rules." Annie muttered to herself with half of the humming shaft inside her.

"Oh god." She panted. The shaft of the vibrating dildo painted her insides with a deep purple shade of lust. But it was her mind, her new mantra that was allowing it, coaching her to stretch and take more inside her.

"I have the pussy..." The toyed hummed steadily. She pushed it in another half-inch. Such good advice.

The toy wasn't something she could've ever tried before. It took a 15-years-gone-by, breathlessly hot memory, a persistently horny husband, and some major advances in vibrator design and engineering for her to try something like this.

Covered in soft silicone, it was light-years beyond the hard plastic or rubbery toys she'd always seen that seemed a little too intimidating. Her new "friend" wasn't quite as long as Sam but about as thick, with a little appendage that looked like a tiny cock or an obscenely long clitoris, which worried her own clit as soon as she massaged the dildo far enough inside. It was quite a leap from her old, "pocket rocket" and bullet toys.

"Mnnnnnmm," she licked her lips as the little cock finally started brushing her growing clit.

She was already cumming by her previous standards when she finally squirmed the last inch inside her. But as the vibrations of the big shaft hit her g-spot, (something she'd always needed Sam for previously) at the same time the little guy/girl found its mark against her clit and she really hit the "big one" as she called it.

"I make the rules." She grunted as she came off the huge orgasm. The affirmation by itself sent made her orgasms flutter again.

The dildo was still buzzing - almost grinding away at her lingering inhibitions. And unlike her pure clit massagers, she couldn't take it off right away. It was deep inside her, methodically massaging her innermost spot. Maybe when she got more used to its length and girth she could pull it right out, but not now. And because she hadn't cum from Sam pounding away on her like some kind of hammer beating an anvil, it wasn't so intense that she needed it to stop.

It wasn't better than sex with Sam- she was pretty sure that she couldn't quite replicate that feeling. Those feelings she should say: one when she ground and rode on top of him, lifting and dropping her pussy and clit on his cock; or the other, when he was like a beast on top of, or behind her, opening her up by repeatedly thrusting in and out, smacking up against her, making her butt shake from the force of their fucking.

Yet even so, her new toy let her explore something similar all on her own, an autonomous mining of those deep nerve endings. And it was satisfying a hunger, which practically speaking, Sam couldn't every single day with kids, site meetings, etc.

For a moment the concern returned- was she losing herself in hedonistic perversion? Was she grinding her sensibilities away?

"No. I'm polishing myself, my self, my sex." Annie was happy.

And Sam's happy. God knows he's happy, if maybe a bit confused, maybe a little bit in the dark, but he can't argue with her- he's fucking thrilled. She'd milked his cum out of him like a pulp romance harlot two nights ago. He lay in a heap on top of her for a few minutes afterwards, like a steam train at rest on the tracks, huffing and blowing out steam while his spent cock pulsed to pump the last of his seed into her wet, open sex.

She was testing him and herself. It was a funny analogy, but she couldn't get it out of her head. "They're testing the fences!" She laughed to herself. Well, half-laughed, half-spasmed as the relentless toy hummed away to another small orgasm. Annie was learning; tinkering really, with how to push Sam's buttons and her own to specific desired effects.

Dr. Carly, who in retrospect had done a lot to inspire the delicious developments of the last two weeks would approve. Approve that Annie was following a woman's advice, happy that Annie was exploring herself, pleasuring herself, but not as some kind of treat. As the new normal, as part of a paradigm shift.

************

45 Days Before the Anniversary

Nearly 3 months prior, a friend posted a link about conducting a self-inventory via social media. The link led to a video of a talk, which was really good and spoke to her about honest ways of being grateful for what one has, but still going out to get the things one doesn't have but wants. Annie was "working on it" as she'd say.

Within the comments section on that talk was a curious link to another lecture promoting confidence in women by a Dr. Carly Venner. Comments sections are dangerous places, Annie knew that, but this OP's other comments seemed pretty reasonable and confidence was a fickle mistress for Annie. Moreover, a few folks, including some with male screen names, had thanked the OP profusely for introducing them to Dr. Venner's theories, which would scare and fascinate her leading up to the fateful anniversary.

One of Venner's contentions is that women's insecurities and fears are not all that biologically distinct from men, but are rendered much more difficult to address by hypocritical cultural norms. In other words, men have all kinds of socially encouraged means of testing and expressing power, confidence, even dominance, but women are discouraged from most of the same means.

Circumstances have improved somewhat through women's athletics and the growing influence of lesbian culture on straight women according to Venner, for fairly straightforward reasons: women were in charge more and confidence is cultivated by opportunity to lead, not the other way around. But where things really got sticky and provocative was Venner's focus on changing the personal dynamics of women's sex lives.

About 5 minutes, into her talk, (3 minutes longer than the average boyfriend and husband's attention span for a woman talking), Dr. Carly presented her main, rather controversial theory:

Women must exhibit sexual dominance over men and other women.

"Only after sexual dominance is achieved, can we navigate and introduce parity into a man's world." Dr. Carly abruptly asserted in a gentle Southern accent. Her calm, nearly cloying voice was in such a stark contrast from her radical, kind-of-offensive theories. Her leggy, toned middle aged body and bleach-blonde hair providing both a softness and an edge to her overall presentation. From there on out, the lecture became "adult" with a number of frank points of borderline erotic discussion.

Among them were detailed discussions of male and female biology, cultural analysis of non-heterosexual dynamics, modern Japanese sexual dysfunction, pornography consumption studies, and some greater and lesser anecdotes such as a rather fishy claim that male CEOs have a propensity to frequent dominatrices.

*A slide of a woman in a leather bodice and thigh-high boots standing behind a seated man flashed behind Dr. Carly.

Annie wasn't sure about that kind of thing, but she kept watching and listening.

And speaking on all these issues Dr. Carly declined to use clinical terms because as she put it, "The delicate treatment of female sexuality does not empower us, it undermines us by treating us as delicate flowers unable to have 'pussies' or 'tits' without being compromised or being sexually subordinate."

"How many times do you hear confident, powerful men call their manhood a 'penis," she questioned to a laughing audience. "Never! It is a cock, or a rod, or a shaft, or in its humble, platonic moments, a 'dick," she smiled in answer to her own query.

*A slide of a confident, rugged, and half-naked man.

"But Carly, aren't 'pussy,' 'ass,' and 'tits' all a little crass? A little uncouth?" "Yes! Yes of course, but it is also the language of uninhibited sexuality! No one writes an erotic story about 'his proud and steely penis."

The audience laughed again. "I have a vagina with my obstetrician, not my lovers, correct? But when I say I have a 'pussy' what does that mean to you? What does it mean to me?"

*A slide of a smiling, self-assured woman in a cocktail dress.

"To me, it means I have the superior sexual biology. I have the ability to cum multiple times, in multiple places, in multiple ways, with or with anyone else in the room. In the proper physical and mental condition I can outlast any man in the duration and intensity of sexual pleasure, correct?"

*A slide of a large astrological symbol for venus behind a woman in business attire reaching into her own pants while a man watches.

"And so my pussy takes what it wants. It does not 'receive.' My pussy expresses what cocks, straight, and gay by the way, all around the world have comfortably reckoned every day without a second thought since the beginning of time - that its penultimate function is to feel and produce pleasure."

*The same woman with her hands in the man's hair as he kisses her chest.

"Yes, yes. The primary function of sexual anatomy is to a mechanism for providing us our treasured children. But even there we are built undeniably to have pleasure aid conception."

*A series of gifs of a vagina and cervix in orgasm.

"As we cum, two amazing things happen. As you see here, the contractions of orgasm cause cervical dip. Our cervix essentially buckles in our ecstasy, dipping down so it can soak our eggs in sperm," instructed Dr. Carly.

"At the same time, our bodies reward us with a flood of Oxytocin! Not only are we awarded those delicious moments of euphoria and relaxation, but research tells us that this orgasmic chemical flood reduces fear and anxiety, helps us bond with our mate or mates, and nourishes our arousal for future encounters."

*A softcore image of the same woman straddling the man in her office chair.

"This is by design, ladies, design! The implications of this design are startling to our cultural norms.

Designed for our fertility to reward quality males who help us cum hard."

*The woman, suit jacket still on, riding the man on her desk.

"Designed for us to have males, females, both, multiples, anyone we choose."

*The woman, re-dressed and talking with another man and a younger woman.

"Designed for us to bond with quality mates through orgasm."

*The woman alone with the first man. She's kissing him with her hand on his crotch.

"Designed for us to be stronger and healthier through orgasm."

*The woman, looking strong and happy in work out clothes lifting kettle balls.

"So my question to you ladies, is not only 'why not?' but 'how' and to what ends? We know our whole existence as a species is aided by this amazing mechanism within women. How should we be using this key biological reality?

Broadly speaking, men possess superior physical strength and stature, of course. But the data and theories I have shown you corroborate what any woman who has borne children surely suspects - that our inner strength of women is easily the equal or better of men.

And I submit to you that our way of actualizing that strength is through our superior sexuality. We are made to feel good and therefore confident. You deserve to feel good and confident."

**********

At the time she'd seen it, Annie thought it was one of the silliest things she'd ever seen or heard. Was it a joke? A thinly veiled set up for some nonsensical social movement? Annie considered herself a feminist, but come on. Dominating Sam? It seemed awfully nutsy and inappropriate really. At least it did before the Anniversary.

Now? Now, one month after the Anniversary, Annie had a six inch vibrating dildo at the ready following a quick break; ready to coax another orgasm from her while she watched another entry in Dr. Carly's web series (she preferred Dr. Carly or Carly she said). Modestly priced at $4.99 per session, each entry started with Dr. Carly's relaxing, rich, enticing voice presenting a casual refresher on her lecture, before veering quickly into graphic, pseudo-scientific instructional porn.

Annie remembered the first video featured a half dozen women, one at a time, essentially getting a perverted pep talk from Carly's Georgia-peach-like voice while they rubbed and fingered themselves, or played with vibrators and dildos, much like she was now.

"You deserve to cum. You were made to be strong. Cumming makes you a relaxed, strong woman." Dr. Carly whispered with confidence in the early scenes. Annie liked it when Carly whispered. It made it feel so familiar, like she was telling her a secret. By the later scenes, she was coaching women through multiple orgasms, interspersed with her sexualized propaganda.

Later sessions featured more hardcore sex in a similar format, which suited Annie just fine. She may be a quack in some ways, but Dr. Carly was right about this: the assumption that soft core better suited women was sexist, ridiculous really. Why would women get off to two naked people who look like they're having sex, but not be able to handle the sight of pussy and cock?

This session was Annie's favorite to date. It featured one actress (Carly claimed she was a real working professional and wife) who looked a little like her in various scenarios while Dr. Venner provided commentary. In the first scene, "the wife" was already completely naked except for an unusual looking pendent around her neck. The golden pendent looked like a long, thin round of rifle ammunition, but it was cute.

The wife rubbed some oil on herself, her breasts, her legs, between her legs.

"Good. Good for you," echoed Dr. Venner's voiceover (it was a voiceover right?!?). "You are beautiful and powerful."

The wife opened her legs directly to the camera, tweaked her own nipples, started rubbing gently on her outer folds.

"This is nature's gift - your special power source. Unlock your hormones."

The wife worked her pussy in broad, slow circles now, her pink, sweet pearl emerging and disappearing, starting to glisten with wetness as she softly tugged on her sex. Her mouth was open now and her breath heavy and deep. She paused to unclasp her pendent and then twist the narrow golden spike to reveal its secrets. It was jewelry and it was a vibrator. The thought was embarrassingly hot to Annie even more in repeat viewings.

The wife presumably wore it out and about. "Oh god," thought Annie as her skin became flush with excitement and nerves. People wouldn't have known that the wife used her pendent to pleasure herself. Most people wouldn't. But what about the ones that did? Would they wink at her, smile in their shared secret? Maybe it came in silver instead of gold. Or was gold better? More outrageous?

As the wife lowered the sleek vibrating pendent against her growing pearl, Annie did the same with the head of her much bigger toy. When the wife touched her clit with her toy, Annie touched hers.

"This is a source of strength, a source of pleasure to be tapped," Dr.

Carly's voice floated inside Annie's mind.

The wife pressed the vibrating pendent more firmly against herself, and her clit gorged on the sensation. Annie's did too. Then the wife cupped one of her breasts in one hand and worked over her ever wetter slit with the pendent. She clenched her teeth. So did Annie as she slid the length of her toy along her pussy, letting the tip touch her asshole and then rocking the length of it back and forth along her ever slicker sex.

Annie had watched the session three times before, and so as the wife paused the oil her pussy with her fingers, Annie rubbed lube in her hands and worked it around the dildo and inside her opening. When the wife grabbed a medium sized dark purple dildo, Annie repositioned herself. The wife gently, but firmly guided hers to her entrance. Annie slowly pushed her vibrating dildo against herself.

She didn't know she would grow to love the sensation so much. Her trip down memory lane had made her bite off quite a bit more than she could chew. She'd bought this "rabbit" style vibrator without realizing it was nearly as big as Sam, a traditional non-vibrating dildo that was definitely bigger than Sam, and something else she meant to reward her husband for being such a good partner. When she opened the package for each, she had major second thoughts.

But propped up on her bed, watching the sessions, her curiosity and boldness had grown. And the way she'd been going, she was pushing far deeper with her old toys than they were designed to go anyway.

She and the wife worked on it together with Dr. Carly's encouragement. When she first started with her rabbit, she was distracted by its novelty. It just felt so different from the "real thing." However, the soft silicone felt nice even if it was different, and the vibrations helped to ease it inside her. As she watched and listened, she maneuvered. It was like a challenge, and the reward was previously unknown bliss.

"Feel yourself stretch - a stretch that paves the way." Dr. Carly inserted herself.

It did feel good to stretch, very, very good. Sometimes it pinched a little, but so did Sam. In fact, as good as Sam was, sometimes he pushed to hard, too fast, or they missed a beat together and he came out and went back in too much or at the wrong angle. Here, she was in complete control.

"Feel the fullness. Give your self to yourself," a voice said somewhere.

Yes. Annie watched the wife, and felt herself feel full. And the buzzing, the delicious, rhythmic buzzing egged her on.

"Mmmnnnnoouuugh," the wife groaned, her nipples hardening as she approached orgasm.

Annie panted and squeaked, but was careful not to rush. She was able to take more of it with ease this time, but going too fast wasn't wise. The wife was already working on her second orgasm, challenged by Carly to take another and another, but Annie was building a big one. Her hands were too full to rewind or fast forward, so she watched the wife writhe in climax after climax while a steady rumble grew within her. She was still letting it develop, taking more in slowly when the second scene came on.

In this scenario, the wife was with a man. It wasn't clear whether it was her husband or not. Annie blushed in guilt that it was kind of hot that way. The man was tall, handsome, and cut, it was nice for Annie that he also looked a bit like Sam. Both he and the wife were only wearing underwear and the action got heavy quickly.

"What we see here is what many of you confront, " chimed Dr. Carly

The man and wife were kissing passionately. He had backed her against a wall and was squeezing one of her tits while he tried to reach into her underwear.

"Hopefully your man's natural inclination is to be a stud, just like this one. He wants to fuck you. To first fulfill his desire for pleasure and second, subconsciously at least, to breed you."

A torrent of wicked little bubbles popped up at the suggestion, and her memory of how Sam took her when she went off the pill reflexively made her pussy quiver. She thought that going off birth control would make things more clinical or guarded, but instead the notion of seeding her had made Sam primal.

The man turned the wife around, pulled her bra down roughly and started grinding into her ass as he kissed her neck and bucked against her, even as her face and tits pressed against the wall. He was pulling down his own underwear and readying to do the same to hers.

The wife looked lust-bitten too, she was enjoying it, but Carly interjected.

"We can have this my friends. We should. It's natural to want to be fucked. And we shouldn't be angry if he doesn't know. The male is only doing what his instinct and his culture has told him he should."

The man's cock was already positively rigid, and it was a big one. Annie knew what was coming, but she couldn't resist working just a little more of her toy inside her as he lined up behind the wife, seemingly ready to fuck her from behind standing up within two minutes of their encounter.