All Comments on 'Another Take On February'

Wow! Dark, very, very dark; but possibly the most realistic of the alternate versions.

Well written... 5 *s.

This is by far the best ending

Extremely well written but a death sentence for adultery isn't justice unless you're a fan of the Taliban judicial system and being released after a year is firmly in the realm of fantasy. It makes sense as a study of mental illness but I'm sure some readers will view his actions as a mark of his manhood rather than those of a deranged mind.

LA

Waste of time

To all the anti gun voices, as long as Jamal, Juan, Hussein , and Jimmy Clyde have their guns, so will I. The only places I commonly go unarmed are the airport and.my hospital.

Another good take on GA's story. Keep 'em coming.

@Regguy693 days ago

Just reading through the comments,.....

I agree with you on your comment.

@26thNC, Great ending to the never ending story....

Very well said.

@Schwanze1

Regguy69

OK that was funny as is your screen name. You might make a good character actor in bro space

And your screen name isn't? Schwanz

German word for "tail", in Germany also used to describe a man's penis.

(like "dick" or "cock" in English)

@sbrooks103

Too much narration: "This happened, then that happened."

That is how it goes when a story is being told to someone. There is no need for a bunch of chit chat.

A different take on the classic GA original ...Well done...5 stars..

DOL

My option is this is probably the worst alternative version I have read,it sucks.

Loved it. One of the best versions. People seem to either love or hate more "February Sucks" stories... I happen to dig them, especially when done in interesting ways like this one.

The fact this Linda did not commit suicide paradoxically shows her incredibe degree of narcissism. It seems doubtful that someone with a nonpathologic character structure could live with themselves in the aftermath of the destruction her behavior set in motion in this variant of FS. The selfish satisfaction of her cunt's desires left her lover dead and her betrayed husband facing murder charges if he survived his suicide attempt. Definitely sounds like time for her to get out the sleeping pills and razor blades. Her kids would be far better off in foster care.

*Did not like. Sorry

Should have shot her!

Sort of missing the point that there are hundreds of millions of women out there some trustworthy. Any financially stable guy can find all the companionship he wants after forty or so.

This dramatized off into lonely misery after getting rid of a faithless slut is to much.

I like this version. Less entertaining, but more authentic in my mind

I have some sympathy for those commenters who say GA's story is rubbish because it could never happen. Here's what I think, after considering how much activity it engendered. Linda is presented as an attractive housewife and mother who cleans up well. This for many years with no apparent exceptions. One night she turns into a total narcissist. She does something so totally out of character and so completely destructive that it defies belief. I agree. BUT...it's this same aspect that gives the story its punch. If she was a slut to begin - who cares? The whole point, as set out at the start, is that any loving, faithful wife could betray her husband and family at any time. Scary but not believable. D

"Warning, there's some legal material in here" - There's nothing wrong with "legal material" as long as there's SOME attempt to make it at least realistic, not necessarily true to life/

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I stand by my original comment: Too much narration: "This happened, then that happened." It makes for a very dry story.

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Sounds like a good case for temporary insanity. When the facts pf the previous night come out, Mr. Smiley's description of how he was after his run, his apparent attempted suicide before the killing, his definite attempt afterwards, seems to be a pretty solid case.

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"Murder while armed?" How often are you charged with murder while unarmed?

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While I wouldn't mind seeing "February" put on the shelf, it remains that it stirred up a lot of emotions that triggered responses.

Not worth the read....still thanks for the effort. GA's original story is not rubbish....it is merely some really sick depressing stuff designed to drive other writers so very crazy that they will write their own endings to a really despicable tale. GA does a really great job of creating the most detestable sociopathic heinous betraying bitch wife ever in that story...who publicly humiliates her husband for a one night stand. There is simply no way that anything other than a the most heinous BTB ending can be written by other authors given these basic conditions in the original story.

Still, the author here tried.. so it gives an average 3. He got a correct basic ending...it is average because it is rather clumsy and needs some real rework.

Glad he shot Lavallier!!!!

I am surprised he agreed to counseling with her. Don't understand why or for what purpose. Or even how they were able to hug it out. If he didn't have any rage due to the drugs than he probably should have felt nothing for her.

Hopefully, Lavallier's death will put an end to these stories..

Let’s hope

Let’s hope alternate endings to this story died with Marc

How sad that society felt the need to punish him for providing instant justice to a predator, who richly deserved what happened to him. Unfortunately she didn’t commit suicide, however she hopefully is suffering constant mental issues.

Liked all of the story except you did not even come close to making the slut suffer. Only a couple of endings to GA's story actually have the slut suffering all the pain and anguish she should have borne for her actions. I applaud those stories.

February Sucks take 1000? No, not that many and some were a decent continuations of Mr. Anderson's original as is this variation. My only complaint was with the description of the shooting. How did the Asshole's brains get on his sportscar if Jim hit him in the chest? The chest was the best target to take because Jim's hands were probably shaking from adrenaline. This story proves that children are hurt the most by a cheating spouse so just get a damn divorce.

I liked the revenge on the asshole and the fact that he dumped her because he could never trust her ever again. I just didn't like that he was going to kill himself in front of the lovers. That was weak

I like this take, but Lina should have physically been beaten severely, where she knew what hurt was. She is a whore, that didn't get paid in cash...

Read this and did not find it worth reading.So much more could have been done with it..I was more dismayed at many of the comments to this submission..mostly their preoccupation of her not suffering enough instead of realising a better story was more important.

Darn, I have mixed feelings. I appreciate your different take on the “event” but it was a depressing story with no winner. Thanks for taking a different approach to that story.

Yeah. I think #1000 is the winner. 5*

ECHHH LP

A well deserved execution. Permanent physical disfigurement of the slut would have been nice also, but you can't have everything.

Best story ever? No.

However I did enjoy this twist on things. I can understand Jim's feelings in this matter.

Thanks for writing.

Good version of this story with well crafted dialogue and emotions. A good effort.

Splattering Marc's brains all over his sports car was a nice touch. Justice done. The slut didn't pay the full price, but they almost never do. Why write nonsense like this, though: "I decided that I wanted to understand what she did." There's nothing to understand. She was a narcissist who did what she did because she could. From Dee it was clear it was entirely voluntary...a big "fuck you" to her husband. Putting that thought in the husband's mind makes him seem like a moron.

One of the better sequels, for sure. At least Linda wasn't repeating her 3rd wave feminism bullshit.

I really didn't like the story

The best version ever to this story.

Asshole got his and the slut should have gotten a taste, too.

I liked it, although I am getting really tired of these alt endings, this one does bring some closure and asshole got what he deserved.

Just a bit on the side, what could possibly go WRONG.

I did think it rather good, deep, thoughtful etc, that is the first page. From there though, the second page started to unwind, and then plummet into free-fall faster than a malodorous fart at a papal wine-tastiing! And like our model, it disappeared without trace long before the Hullabaloo about it all did!

I feel the same way for the MC Jim as I do for poor Johnny Depp. Jim’s wife was a cheating bitch just like Amber Heard was a cheating bitch! Great version for this storyline.

Both versions are fantastic. I prefer the one where his head is caved in though splattering his brains all over his car is very cool as well.

A good resolution I can identify with.

not the best version but certainly in the upper 10th of the plethora of versions that have come out. I generally prefer to cripple or main in a permanent way so that the douchebag scumdog that was predating has time to think about the error of his ways while he shits in a bag and tries to get places in his wheelchair. rk

Rereading this I enjoyed your attention to detail and how well you grounded the s in the parameters of the original Jim character So I upgraded it to 5 stars

Sadly this version has a ring of truth. The monster was killed. Ever note how often NFL Players get in trouble for carrying. Does a violent sport promote violence? Or do violent people seek out a high contact sport?

This was one of my favorite endings.

I like your plots -- they hang together well. But I don't find as high a level of character development as I would like. Not just here but in others I have read..

Others have said it too in the comments and it it meant as a high compliment - plausible! Reality doesn't give us rhe rush of some stories but it sure makes us think!

The monster had to die. Bravo. I do wish your version were longer. I'm someone that likes details, but thats my personal hang up. You did well.

The story would have been better if he had shot the slut dead as well before attempting to turn the weapon on himself. He wouldn't have been criminally responsible for her death either. He and his kids would have been much better off with the cheating cunt in her grave.

Didn't like that he shot himself, but for the player, imho, this was the best ending to February ever.

I like it. Mostly because it is the gazillionth time I've read one of these and I always thought Jim could shoot Marc and get away with it. After all he was and is the villain. Linda is just some dumb spouse who succumbed to a cheap thrill. Also she is a coward and a weak cheater.

Short but sweet. A realistic conclusion to GA’s provocative story. Thanks demander! Five stars ⭐️ for this one.

I read this for a second time today. I didn't comment on it the first time because suicide is something the hits close to home. I have family and friends who have done it. Everyday there are multiple veterans who commit suicide to get away from issues they cannot deal with in their lives. With all of that in mind this time around I had a different perspective/outlook on this version of "February Sucks" follow-ups.

I didn't rate it the first time. I gave it ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ after this read, because it was that good of a story about how people could react to a situation.

This story while it had its flaws, it was unique in the fact the neighbor cared enough to see if Jim was alright. He also tried to prevent the suicide attempt after he killed Mark.

I will not find fault in the story or its premise that an emotional person would take to killing another person. The way the story handled the judicial system while not realistic, it was demander's damn story, and he wrote that way. Get over it. It was neat to read for me. As the song goes, "sometimes the bad guy wins."

This ending was OK by me.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

Thanks for your writing.

MMMMMMM I bet that a lot of men feel this way when cast aside by a loving woman, in the UK we dont have access to guns so that stops a lot of dead boyfriends......

Very well done, not over the top and satisfactory conclusion to a difficult situation

Pretty well written, but (1) Adultery is not a capital offense, (2) The misogyny in many of the responses calling for killing or maiming Linda is repellent, and (3) It's just a story (that last is to remind me). This story was a bit better than average, however I can't honestly say I liked it, so *** it remains. But don't stop writing, demander, please. I have enjoyed some of your other efforts.

This was a good version!!

Damn good story. This is my second favorite version. My favorite was when Marc got his head caved in with an axe

Read it again. While I was in the mood for a shoot 'em up, the lingering sadness is the real core of the story. Sad. Good job! 5*****

Okay but it felt unfinished.

I highly respect A_Bierce. He's correct that adultery is not a capital offense -- in our contemporary legal or cultural environment. In other cultures and times, it has been. For those whose highest standard of right and wrong is reference to the Judeo-Christian God, well we know what he said, and to Him, it definitely was. Not suggesting that as a defense in a court of law these days!

This ending to Mr. Anderson's story is indeed sad. A family was destroyed. A villain was killed outside the law. The lives of the survivors were broken. it comes across as real.

Incredable storytelling, you let emotions fly and clearly the crushing sadness envelopes all. One very strong telling of this tale.

5 stars for a Great Version of an alternate ending to February Sucks. I REALLY liked the last line

"When I got down, I always played back in my mind, the last moments of his life. It helped." I would have wrote that very line myself. If I was half the writer. Excellent Story, Excellent Take, Excellent Ending, Excellent Writing, Excellent, Excellent and even more Excellent! LaValliere takes a .230 grain hardball to the heart. There is "no coming back from that" That is the standard round in a .45acp. Which is double a standard 9mm 115 grain round. Oh the 9mm goes faster, Maybe 1150 ft/sec but so often it doesn't dump all it's energy in the bad guy. Usually a 9mm just punches a hole and goes on thru. Not so much with the much slower and fatter .45 acp round maybe doing only 800ft/sec. This is kinda the difference between old and new technology. LOL either way LaValliere is Dead and deserved it badly for all the broken marriages he caused. Great Job!

I did an ending for Feb Sucks also. It is not so sad, but more tongue in cheek. Mark LaValliere gets butt fucked by all the prospects of a Biker Gang. I thought that was so funny. Check it out!

As Bierce said below, adultery is not a capital offense. However marriage is the ONLY legal contract that does not penalize the party that breaks it. In fact , often the innocent wronged party is penalized severely, especially if male. So , the result is actual incentive, especially in no fault situations, for the contract to be broken. Try doing that in any other legal transaction. So the nd result is the total mess we have in society now. The future looks really bright, right? We already have women everywhere complaining that men will not commit. Can you blame any of them, the roi is not there.

[18.11.22]

Harrowing and Good!

11/10!!!!!

Drwing Ihave to agree with. Why isn't a marriage contract enforceble as such? Perhaps evry marriage should have a prenup describing the penalties if the vows are broken. My hear goes out to our MC becaus eof how I felt when my first marrigae failed at 13 years. To have your family ripped aprt because the wife wants to go out and look around so she can trade you in for different model? Deoression sets in and you can't think staright or even hold a job. Yeah, I can undersatnd our MCs actions. 5 stars

Nice tale of revenge

Wow! Good end to a tragic tale. Asshole got what he deserved here. So did wifey airhead.

Ed

5 for what happened to Marc. 1 for the rest if the story. Overall a 3

Probably more realistic than most... Neither lead would ever truly heal.

One of the more realistic sequels.

Their actions weigh heavy on their future lives.

Blowing Marc's brain out was direct and wonderful. Linda, however, needed to be treated as the cunt she was.

A good example of why adultery needs to be an enforceable crime. Adultery destroys people and families.

Fuck Linda and fuck Marc. What they did demands retribution.

Good end for the scumbag but an oddly unsatisfying story.

Football player got what he deserved you go around destroying lives for your amusemebt sooner or later this would be result

Sad, although arsehole’s death was well deserved.

This was definitely the best, of the endings. And in this one, the Narcissist bitch doesn’t walk away smelling like roses. 5 stars!

Wow... This author’s version, I am sure upset a few snowflakes out there. But to me, it made perfect sense. Back in the day, boys had it drilled into their head, that in order to get a girl, you needed to make something, of yourself. This included, becoming a good provider. Once married, the pressures to build on that, and provide a home with all the material comforts for your family, were never ending. Often, this work ethic led them to an early grave. The funny thing was, young men couldn't wait to jump on that bandwagon. And women didn't treat sex lightly. Think of this like buying a new car, but different. A young lady is is the showroom. If she has done her job, there are a few models for her to choose. But here is the kicker. Choose one, and she has to spend the rest of her life with it. If not, she will be labeled a failure. Jump forward to today. Young men no longer try to make something of themselves. Spending the rest of their lives, working themselves to death, is no longer appealing.... Many, many young women vent their frustration with this reality on apps like tic toc. Ok. enough about the history lesson. So back to Jim, in the story. Based on what a 20th century man was brought up to believe, his reality was a lie. That made him, a failure. He didn’t choose wisely. If it had been the 19th century, he would have been patted on the back, for taking the footballers life... But today, marriage as a contract, is a sham. He was going to spend his life in jail. Suicide, was his best option....And one more piece of advice to the young women out there, that are “ disgusted” with today’s male population. Stop trying to find a man like your grandfather was. Unless YOU, are willing to be the woman, grandma was! 5 stars.

The only good thing about this story was Marc's payback. However, it would have been better if he lived a long life of suffering.

Good ole Marc ie boy

I've enjoyed most of the rewrites of GA tale. I really enjoyed ML getting maimed or not breathing. This ML character reminds me of a asshole who played for the TB Bucs. Initials WS. A lot of the businesses would not let him in due to his attitude. At the same time some of the Buc Players were the best people you could meet. Ronde Barber was a great person. I sat with his wife several times when they practiced. She is a great lady. Trough her at the practice field I met several of the players wives. They were all super ladies.

A Bierce, let’s be honest, half the battle is being someone that your spouse, or anyone doesn’t want to shoot, all the bigger societal ideals can be built upon that foundation afterward

One star.

She hated her husband for awhile after the killing. That fact would have caused me to terminate the marriage immediately

Another take, another fail ..Who can possibly respect your MC or any man that falls into a bottle or puts a gun to his head for a solution instead of attempting to address the adversity/problem..

Though it would be a stupid action to take and plain wrong to do in more then a lot of ways,I would have more respect and understanding towards a husband who would hunt the adulterers down and shooting them, then what you had your MC do. His actions are those of a loser. No wonder his wife had no respect for him and did what she did..Harsh,but I simply cannot see him for anything but what he is,a loser.So many other options/ choices available to him then suicide..

Good version. Dark but felt like something you could see happening. Would be interesting to get the same from her pointof view and also see how it affected the not friends

Very realistic 5*****

I swore off this author's stories, reading too many weakish husbands that he(she?) loves writing about. Then I read this story, initially accidently, but even after noticing the author's name, continued. This might be the only story written by him that I like.

An overall sad & tragic story, but I'm happy the scumbag (Marc) got his due. However, I would've preferred him to live with his balls shot off, his team sued (they knew what type of "man" he was), along with other husbands joining in. But I'll live happily with Demander's version.

Thankfully, his neighbor was able to deflect most of the bullet's trajectory. But with Linda not saying why she did it - I don't believe she didn't know, or the excuse that Marc took her by storm - leads me to believe she'd do it again when the situation called for it.

Moreso, the dialogue before the gunplay was missing, unfortunately. The dialogue with Linda was almost the same. Among the not asked: how can he be assured she won't do it again// she took pains to get Dee to cover for her & slip out the side: what made her think he'd accept & live with it?// Why'd she even think, on that day above others where they're supposed to reignite their relationship, she could actually betray & humiliate her husband?

The lack of dialogues, along with possibly him NOT wanting to commit suicide but other methods of revenge- there are many! - drops my rating from a 4, perhaps 5 (I liked it that much) to a 3. Stories such as this, especially in those places (I didn't add discussions in the hospital!), need the back & forth talk between the "actors". So 3 stars. Bob

Very interesting alternative ending.

Great version

Good rendition but fell well off the tracks at the end, too much rambling still 5 stars

The story is good, but the author ignored something very important fact

Mark's murder became a major incident and was covered by all the newspapers and television stations, and thus Linda's scandal became public, in addition to the fact that she caused the husband's suicide attempt, which makes people look at her with disgust, and certainly her life became hell after this incident, and I do not know why the writer did not focus on this point. the remorse she has not she cheating on her husband. but for the consequences of the betrayal, not for the betrayal itself.

Her justification that it was one night is illogical because the fact that she insults her husband, cheats on him, and leaves him just for sex for one day only means that she is a very bad person and has no morals. What would happen if she loved someone else???

The story is good but needs more additions

Not bad.

One of the better alternative endings to GA’s original story!! While the Not Guilty by reason of Insanity worked well for this rendition it probably would not have been all that clear and simple in real life!!