Another Transformation Story

Trans formation

This is a change of pace for me, but it's been in my head trying to get out, so I had to write. The following is partly autobiographical, and obviously any names have been changed to protect the innocent. The details are what matters though. There is speculative fiction (read "wishful thinking") in the second and third acts. Disclaimer: Any and all sexual contact in this story involves only adults over the age of 18.

I don't think I've ever been completely "straight".

We're gonna ignore all of the "boys don't dress like that" moments in my early childhood. Nobody wants to read all that, and I don't wanna share it.

High school was relatively normal. I was a band nerd. Had a girlfriend my junior year. Broke up with her and just had friends my senior year. The girl I had a crush on was named Jennifer. She was a pretty blond with a big bottom. When I was a senior, and she had graduated, there were at least three sophomore girls that had crushes on me. None of them were bad looking, but none of them held any interest for me. I was more worried about my car, and my clothes, and my friends. The girls I wanted were unattainable in my mind. It wasn't until the end of the year that I found out just how much the girls in my class liked me. I still kick myself for not understanding relationship dynamics when I was in high school.

I joined the Navy Reserve and left for basic training 3 days after I graduated. Eight weeks of physical and mental conditioning later and I returned home. I'd gained 15 pounds of muscle, putting me up to a lean 165. After returning home I attempted to go to State University, but was too easily distracted by work and friends. Had my first long term relationship with a girl who was physically my age, but mentally much older. She initiated the first kiss. I had no plans to get with her, but her actions changed all that. After that, we were almost inseparable. She was a red-head, and very pretty. To my still developing mind, her body was perfect. C-cup breasts, a flat belly, and an ice-cream scoop butt.

Looking back, I'd have to say that my teens and into my mid-twenties were the straightest I've ever been.

With the exception of my first Halloween out of my parents house.

My buddy's wife worked at clothing store, and had access to the store after hours. I got the idea in my head that I was gonna dress up as a girl for Halloween. I was very excited about the project and spent hours drawing up outfit ideas based on the clothing options available in the Juniors section of the store. After I'd showed my concepts to my buddy and his wife, I was told that maybe I was getting a little carried away. Once again, it came down to "Boys don't dress like that". And I ended up in my regular clothes, with a face made up like a Tabby-cat, and a long hooded cloak. The "costume" went over well, but I was disappointed.

I got married at 23, because I'd found the "girl of my dreams" and I thought that's what I was supposed to do. The wife and I both enjoyed sex, and she introduced me to Penthouse letters. Some of what was printed in that magazine was not entirely straight, but it still thrilled us. We had mostly talked about my wife with another woman, but occasionally I thought about what it would be like to share a woman with another man. By the time I turned 30, we were stationed in San Diego and on the road to divorce. We had two kids and I had no idea how to be a husband and a father. I had taken to hitting Black's beach on the weekends after I got off duty. I just wanted to be naked outside, and be seen and appreciated. The last time I visited Black's Beach, a guy hit on me by coming up behind me and rubbing his hard dick on my ass. I told him I was flattered, but I was straight. He walked off without a word. I still think about what might have happened if I'd gone along with him. All through our marriage, I had been visiting adult shops and arcades sometimes with my wife, sometimes not. Only once was I hit on at an arcade, and it scared the hell out of me. I'm not sure which was scarier, the presence of another man in a booth with me, or the fact that he got me off in seconds through my jeans. That was the last time I visited an adult shop while I was married. It had felt too much like cheating.

After the divorce, all I wanted was to try and let my ex go. Friends attempted to distract me, I drank too much, fucked around with friends of friends, and once met with a man from a personal site. We met at a Super 8 motel, had a couple of beers, got naked, and did a 69. As I lay on my back, with his dick thrusting between my lips, I got into it. I caught myself stroking his back as we fucked each others mouths. When he tried to slide a finger in my ass I had to stop him. We kept sucking each other, though, and I came first. Then I knelt on the floor and finished him off, feeling him cum in my mouth wasn't bad, but I was feeling religious guilt for being queer and liking it. I drank another beer and then told him I had to leave, and to please not call me again. I felt dirty for enjoying the act, and I wore that stain for years until I figured out that it was just sex, and it was just skin.

I tried for a long time to date, with no luck. I moved up to Idaho to keep my mother in law from attempting to seize my children from my ex. I don't know if it was a mistake or not, but my ex and I would hook up about once a month. In the mean time, I worked and so did she. We met people, but neither of us had much luck except with each other. I did hook up with a nice couple from the air force base. Got to experience a MFM with another man's wife, so that was fun. I didn't repeat the performance though. I did tell my ex about it, and we fooled around a bit after I'd had a shower. It was, and remains, a weird friendship.

I worked in Colorado, and then in Arizona. While in CO, my former brother-in-law was my room-mate. I flew straight and narrow. Had a crush on the pretty blonde waitress from the diner across the street from our hotel. I think it was reciprocal, but she had a child with another man, and wasn't trying to hook up with a transient construction worker. In AZ, the bro-in-law only lasted a few months before he fell victim to his old habits. He moved back to ID, leaving his truck with me so I could continue to work. The first thing I did after he left was find an adult shop and buy a vibrating dildo. I told myself that I wasn't gay, I didn't like men, I just wanted to fuck my own ass with a dildo. So I did. Even with lube, it wasn't an easy fit. The rigid body of the vibrator under the latex "skin" of the dildo did not give even a little bit. I kept that thing for a while before discarding it as a failed experiment. Ended up with a girlfriend in AZ, and ended up catching HPV from her, much to my dismay. Twenty-one years of abstinence/celibacy followed, because (I told myself) I wasn't going to give this virus to anyone else.

I have, in my life-time, bought four dildos. All of them have been down my throat or in my ass at one time or another. Two of them have been discarded as failed experiments, and two of them stick to the tile in my shower. You get the picture. I also have a flesh-light that is pretty much abandoned in the top of my closet, another failed experiment. I like women, but fucking a Thermoplastic Elastomer facsimile isn't any fun.

And that brings us to now. Both of my daughters are grown and out of the house. The youngest has been married and divorced, and the oldest is doing what she feels like. The ex is remarried, and I remain single. I am not really interested in getting to know anyone. I have friends, I have kids, and I have my computer. What more could a guy want?

I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want:

I want to be a 7 foot tall night elf female from the World of Warcraft franchise.

Since I can't do that, I want to cosplay as a 6'6" night elf female.

But I ain't got the body for that so...

Mind you, I am 55 years old. I am 6' tall and weigh about 220 on my bathroom scale. I have a gut. My legs are strong, but not shapely. My ass is disappointingly flat. I've got a mild case of gynocomastia (man-boobs), and I'm kinda furry but not in a flattering way. Thankfully, I still have the hair on my head, and I've started growing it out as of August 2021.

wishful thinking to follow:

The hardest part was giving up the junk food. I knew it would get easier, and that my body would adjust to a healthier diet fairly quickly. After a month of denying cravings for burgers and pizza, I found that the cravings were easier to ignore. I didn't feel like I needed a doughnut every time I saw Smith's bakery, and Krispy Kreme held no attraction any more. The food I was preparing for myself on the weekends was paying off, and my gut was beginning to shrink. I promised myself that I could get my nipples pierced when I made my target body weight.

At the same time, I had started religiously following the workout routine I'd found online. The ankle weights were doing their job, and I was seeing noticeable gains in my quads and glutes. I'd gotten to the point where I could do 4 sets of 10 reps each with the 10lb. Weights on my ankles. And, as much as I could with my prostate issues, I started to do cardio as well. I couldn't really go for a run, without having to turn back to the house when I felt like I had to pee, but I was able to get the old treadmill up and running again. The best it could manage was a fast walk, but at least it was something.

Two months in and the belly fat was greatly reduced. I couldn't see six-pack abs yet, but my gut no longer hung over the waist-band of my underwear, so that was an improvement. I had started to do some concentrated upper-body work-outs as well. Less about building big arms and more about bulking up my chest. I ended up finding a good program that would build up the bulk in my pectoral muscles, without adding too much bulk to my bi- and triceps. I had also noticed that my prostate seemed to be calming down. I was able to sleep for two hours before having to wake up and shamble into the bathroom, and I could drive to the shop in the morning without having to stop halfway there and pee.

After three months, my tummy was flat, and I was seeing gains in my chest. The leg and butt routine I followed had really paid off, and my bottom was round and firm. Of course, nobody but me could see anything but the loss of weight around my midsection, because of how I continued to wear my work clothes - one size too large and kinda baggy. I came to think of my "uniform" as camouflage, hiding me from those who would not understand.

One thing I could not hide was my hair. I'd quit getting it cut when driving up to see my barber became too much of a hassle. My new boss gave me a little ribbing about it, and my friends questioned my decision to let my graying locks get longer, but nobody told me that I should cut it. I kept the goatee and the mustache, which added to the camouflage.

Four months in and I was sleeping three to four hours before I had to wake up and pee. The body shaping exercises were definitely working, and my flat tummy and muscular gains around my ass and thighs gave me the illusion of a narrow waist and slightly flared hips. My butt was a thing of beauty, round and firm, and it was keeping my pants up where they belonged! My pectoral muscles and the slight case of gynomastia gave me a respectable B-cup with pretty decent cleavage. I started seriously looking into hair removal, since I really didn't want to have to shave my body.

At the six month mark I could stand naked in front of the mirror and not feel disgusted by my body. My hair, while not long, was longer than it had been in years. I was having to wear a do-rag again to keep my locks under control while I was at work. Amazon had provided me with some lovely clothes in which to play dress-up, and as long as I didn't look at my scruffy face, the illusion of a tall mature woman was all I could see when I dressed the part. I had already undergone several hair removal treatments which had pretty much rendered my back, bottom, and shoulders absolutely hairless. I used a razor for the rest of my body and the smooth skin was prettier than I had imagined. The few skin-tags that still plagued me were burnt off, and did not return. I had looked up a few make-up tutorials on-line, and found that eye make-up was harder than one might imagine. I had my brows tamed, but not to the point that they looked effeminate while I was at work, just well groomed. My fingernails were another matter. I had taken to keeping them trimmed and using a buffer to make them shiny. I didn't use nail polish, only tools. But the results were still very nice. I found that I could do the eye make-up and pull up a mask, and make quite a convincing looking woman. The mustache and goatee were kept trimmed close, which made it easier to practice lip-stick and lip liner. Make-up was definitely an art-form and it was taking me some time to get my own look nailed down. As a reward for all the hours of hard work, and the sacrifices I'd made, I got my nipples pierced at Premier Piercing. I felt super sexy after the work was done.

On the Cos-play side of things, I was able to start putting together a decent set of armor. While I wanted to actually have steel and leather over chain and a gambeson, this was a cos-play. I fashioned the armor like every other cos-player does, out of plastic, cloth, foam, and "pleather". I knew the look I was going for, and even though it was not a "tier set" I built a complete Revenant armor set (minus the helm). The high heeled, platform boots, while not combat worthy, boosted me up to the 6'6" mark leaving me towering over most average humans. The first time I tried the armor on I almost fell on my ass dealing with the heels. I got better though, and eventually got to where I could strut across the house in the boots.

I wanted to go to Blizz-Con and enter the costume show. So I bought a ticket, reserved a hotel room, and got down to business learning how to move in the armor. The night elf make-up was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I was able to temporarily color my skin a pale blue, and add the facial markings with normal make-up. My hair was long enough for a high-pony tail so that's what I rocked after using a temporary dye to turn my hair cobalt blue. The ears were bolt-ons, and the eyes were scleral contacts to turn my eyes solidly ice blue. I built a rune-blade with L.E.D. illuminated runes, and found that I could pack dry ice inside the platform of the boot to give the appearance of the "path of frost" spell.

I was introduced simply as Kaldorei Death Knight. And the crowd cheered. Not sure if they knew I was male or female, or if it mattered. The armor was sexy, but not super revealing, and I was able to keep my junk well hidden behind the cod-piece.

I got a lot of compliments from other players on the choice of cos-play. I had built the armor with the idea that I'd wear it all day, and wear it I did. The rune-blade was held to the back of the armor by magnets, really completing the WoW look of never having a sheath for the weapons. The only problem arose when I needed to use the rest-room. I wasn't sure if I should use the men's or the lady's room. I was directed to a gender neutral restroom tucked away from the most crowded part of the convention. There were a few people in line, none of which were readily identifiable as male or female. Even though the cut of my armor indicated female (if one was to look in game), and I was presenting as female (exposed cleavage and tummy, make-up, and hair style), my height made my gender questionable.

Night elf females, in-game, have what I would call husky voices. I had practiced the sound, but occasionally my actual voice slipped out. Thus it was, that while waiting in line for the rest-room, I struck up a conversation with a tall, shapely Draenei female in a very paladinical cos-play. We had both had similar ideas of how to put the costumes together, and where my look was deep purple theirs was all silver and gold. As we talked about how we'd constructed different parts of the look, my voice slipped and gave me away. The Draenei just chuckled and indicated that they were not surprised by the shift in tone, only that it was apparent how much work I'd put into getting my body into shape for the part.

"Yeah, it's taken the better part of a year to look like this" I said, trying to maintain my femme voice, "but I feel really good being out in public dressed!"

"Oh, so you're not 'out'?" the Draenei asked.

"No" I replied, "my family would not be understanding, and at 55 I've been closeted so long it's second nature."

"55?! Really??" exclaimed the Draenei, "I'd have put you in your early 40s for sure!"

It was my turn to chuckle, "Make-up and a decent skin-care routine can do wonders" I replied.

After completing our respective business in the rest-room, I found the Draenei had waited for me to get out.

"My name's Sarah, would you like to hang out for the rest of the Con?" they asked.

"Hi Sarah, I'm Angwen" I replied, "but you can call me Tim if that's easier."

"It's very nice to meet you, Angwen" said Sarah. I felt a sense of euphoria being addressed as femme.

We walked through the convention center together, pausing to take pictures with people when asked, and attended several panels. We talked a lot and found that we were both staying in the same hotel. All in all, it was a much more enjoyable experience when shared with a like-minded friend. After the convention had shut down for the day, we found ourselves out in the mundane world in full cos-play. I was starving, and asked if my paladin friend would be interested in dinner.

"Are you asking me out?" they replied, grinning.

"I suppose it could be construed as such" I stammered, "but mostly I just thought you might be hungry too."

"Oh, okay" they said, the grin fading.

"I'm sorry, would you like me to ask you out?" I blurted. I could feel my face burning with a blush under the make-up.

"Well, kinda" they replied, looking down at the pavement and shuffling their hooves.

I stepped in close, and gently lifted their face to look at me.

"Today has been wonderful" I started, "and I'd really like it if you would go to dinner with me."

The Draenei's face lit up and they smiled brilliantly, "I'd love to join you for dinner!"

"Shall we remain in costume, or would you like to change?" I asked.

"I need to get out of these hooves" they replied, "so if you don't mind we can meet in the lobby in 30 minutes."

"Sounds great!" I said and we walked to the hotel.

We parted ways in the elevator, and I thought about what to wear on the way to my room. I stripped out of the armor, took a quick shower to wash off the make-up, and left my hair down. I felt like I should present as femme, but not too femme. In the end, I just dressed in nice black jeans, a purple button down over a black v-neck t-shirt, and a nice pair of boots with a mid-height heel. I did my make-up, but it was just tinted lip balm and a light eye-liner. I shook my hair out and dried it before pronouncing myself 'done' and leaving the room to hurry down to the lobby.

It struck me on the way down, that I had no idea what my Draenei friend would look like out of their cosplay. Just as they would have no idea who I was. I suppose I needn't have worried, as my color choices would give me away.

The elevator doors opened, and there waiting was a slender femme in white 4" pumps, tight white leggings and a pale gold, off-the-shoulder sweater-dress. Her golden blonde hair cascaded down her back, and her smile was brilliant.