All Comments on 'Another Unfaithful Wife'

Another story with no end......

You wrote a story with him telling us ABOUT the the problem and confrontation. By that, I mean the reader HEARD about what happened. That removes the reader from the story. Writing is about SHOWING and not TELLING. That's actually the number 1 rule of writing fiction. This is dry, unemotional and we only hear the story and don't see it. Sadly, the only criteria for most of the commenters is whether the conflagration sufficiently covers the infidelity.

Love these kinds of story. Love the BTB. I got burned hard and wish I could write it down. It would make a good story. Keep up the good work

This is awful. Did Meta write this?

In addition to all the other Comments, PROOF READ!!

This is just bad

A.I., or just shit writing ability?

This story has no substance in any shape or form, it is a ‘non’ story with no ending😇

Who in the known universe and beyond indulges in these idiotic, one-sided conversations? This is another hallmark of lazy writing: these amateurs cannot write a tense, passionate conversation between a cheating spouse and betrayed spouse, so they contrive these long-winded speeches more appropriate to the rostrum of some tin-pot dictator than in the home of a couple whose marriage is burning up on re-entry. Who could stomach another five parts of this over-written, under-accomplished drivel?

I thought it was just ok until I got to the anal sex part. Turned to Hate then and I didn't even finish it.

Just boring

A 5 paragraph diatribe by the husband with not one peep out of the wife the entire time??? Now THAT’S science fiction!

👎💩

Suck

Very happy husband wouldn't tolerate cheating wife and confronted her.

Your story sucks a**. No man would react like you wimpy boy.

5 stars again - another great story.

Wooden, unrealistic dialog. Plus, our hero goes on for NINE paragraphs of long, fully formed sentences, with no indicators of the hurt and rage any man would be feeling without so much as a peep from his wife, when he finally confronts her. That’s not how people talk with one another.

Crap!

@MattblackUK older comment - Yes, I know what designate means, that's why I said that it wasn't TECHNICALLY wrong, but I stand by my opinion that it was meant as a put-down, so denigrate would be more appropriate.

A good story well told. Most of the ones complaining about your grammar and spelling can't read English very well themselves and use that complaint as a default when there is nothing else to complain about. They will usually mix in accusations of being a foreigner as well. Makes 'em feel intelligent and included in the in-crowd. Keep it up. Seems like you have something to say. Thank you for your effort.

LWlurker

Her husband can’t use condoms but wants his wife too with Brendan double standard if he can’t use then him an jane must be unprotected so wtf. Also just divorce where is people’s self respect

Why dance around? Just divorce her.

3 stars - English is obviously not your first language, because of the many phrases and terms you use that don't quite translate the way you hoped. However, the basic story is good and with a bit more editing could be a 5.

Not much of a story.

Very nice. 5*s.

Good beginning keep writting

Very good. Could use a little editing but that didn’t affect my enjoyment.

This was a perticularly well thought out story. Loved it

It was different and satisfying

What he did is the best thing to deal with a cheater because cheaters get off on the secrecy and deceit that is mostly what does it for them until they get very emotionally involved and then the marriage is finished anyway.

But what he did was brilliant it lets her know she is easily replaceable and that's one thing that will drive any woman crazy. women will always use sex to get what they want and the minute you don't need it from them because you can get better well that scares the hell out of them. You know I actually think his way is better than fighting over the situation.

The ONE thing you cannot say is that Gary was a Wimp. No way in Hell. As to whether or not you write a sequel...that is up to you. I don't think one is necessary. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't read it if you submitted it. I personally enjoy stories where the wife is talked into cheating by family. After overhearing my own mother tell my wife she was tired of me holding off starting a family and giving her grandchildren that she would not blame my wife if she got pregnant by another man. I was doubly shocked to find out my wife was already considering that and had even picked out who it might be. If she does, indeed, get pregnant by that bastard, I will divorce her as fast as the paperwork can be typed.

My parents raised me to respect marriage;both mine and others.

Can't trust in this how trust in anything!

WRITER HAS A LONG WAY TO GO, THE HUSBAND, NEEDED TO BE MUCH MUCH ROUGHER, HE, HAD EVERYTHING TO NAIL HER. THERE WERE SO MANY WAYS TO DESTROY THIS SLUT, AND TAKE HIS KIDS. JUST ANOTHER PUSSY WRITER THAT DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO USE A HAMMER.U

The language in this so difficult to follow at times that it makes the story barely readable at most. In some places, it is so poor that rather than engaging the reader, it causes me to groan in pain.

Where in this story did you see a wimp. Not leaving her or putting her out for the kids sake, seem like a real man to me. He is getting of with another woman right? WIMP my ass,Man and father

No reasoned out costs and kids. good mother

Found his own playmate

Serious?

See What happens

then learn how to spell and then learn about tenses...past,present and future tenses. Or get a really good editor! Gave it a 1.

1 star for the WIMP story. he wimped out and kept her...

Great twist on the hackneyed LW cheating wife cliché story. Let's see where this takes us...keep up the fresh humor, Frank

Can't wait to see what happens next...I'd say burn Linda, to be honest!

I like this guy. Keep going, and pour it on.

I agree fully with the words of Postscriptor:

"First, I greatly admire your intention of writing a story in English, but within a couple of sentences it was clear that you were not a native English speaker. Your sentences are stiff and you use words that a German speaker might use. It is clear that you have (as we say in English) 'transliterated' your sentences.

You are also correct that the plot of the story is rather unremarkable. I would be surprised to see very good scores for this story. Well written LW stories need more plot complexity and better characterizations. We need to connect with your characters.

Good luck, and find an English speaker who will really do a hard edit on your stories."

This dude has a cold calculating fury that is as scary as it is calm. I approve.

His dispassionate tone while addressing his wife cut deeper than a rant. He methodically and calmly informed her she was a non-entity to him.

Female egos cannot handle such knowledge.

Any male who is knowledgeable about female psyche will tell you ignoring an attractive female often results in her chasing you.

I regulary use technique when out and about. Table of females with one the obvious attraction. Go up to table and ask one of less attractive ones to dance. Ignore the hot one. As in do not even glance her way. Repeatedly ask one of others to dance. They will be thrilled and appreciative of attention, as they are used to being overlooked. Select one and cull her from group. More often than not she is yours for the night. Make sure to stay until morning.

Next time you run into that group the hot one will attempt to steal you from her friend. Ignore her. Be loyal to one you bedded.

With a bit of patience the time will arrive when she out with another group when you are there. As soon as she sees you she will approach you. Thirty minutes later she will be all over you in parking lot

Ahhh the fragile female ego...next time she is with original group, only pay attention to the first girl you were with.

She will be devastated. You have bedded both and you have chosen her less attractive friend over her.

Her ego is shattered...she will do anything to win you over.

ANYTHING!

Once I started using this technique females who formerly had looked at me with disgust and disdain are calling me up asking for dates.

For disbelievers, what do you have to lose. I can guarantee you the less attractive female will be oh so appreciative of the fact you chose her over the hot friend.

The sort of cute, kind of chubby females are explosive in bed!

In this explicit category, this is the story to beat.

What big words I did not see any. I liked your concept of not having a simpering priss of a husband also did not give him any personality.

Well Frank you're just another sick puppy cranking out woman hating shit.

Go back to your mom's basement and spare us this junk.

Chapter one had the excitement of watching grass grow....or paint dry.

I imagined the husband speaking in a monotone voice and me checking my emails while he talked. Dull. Nice 1st effort though.

But the technical writing was horrible. I'm guessing English isn't your first language and whoever "Eric" is, his English is also not good. You really need a good editor, This would be so much better if not for all the mistakes and misuse of words. Try again. The basic plot was pretty good.

Don't use words that you're not familiar with because you're messing up the flow of the story. You need an editor ASAP because your use of these big words (THE WRONG ONES) are irritating as heck!

Good!

Thanks to the commenter who pointed out Herr Bauer is a native German speaker. It makes the mechanical writing easier to swallow. Not very original, but I see like four more chapters and I'm not sure there much room to grow here. But I'm curious enough to check it out.

Gary's revenge was perfect. Since he told Linda they won't have further physical contact, and that he wouldn't throw her out, he should have told her to move her stuff to the guest room or basement - or to sleep on the floor of their bedroom... just to emphasize the point that he's only permitting her to stay for the kids.

Nice plot do I think their marriage is dead an being together for the kid's sake is not going to do them any good. Now that things are in the open they are probably going to get nasty. He should have dovirced her anyway in stead of taking a lover but I do like the plot twist as long as it doesn't lead to RAAC.

The husband sounds to robotic for a bretrayed male. I know he detached himself from her taking a lover but there should have been some feelings in his long speech.

Can't wait for the next chapter. 5 Stars, no doubt!!

This guy is "monologuing" like a supervillain. Apparently, the wife is unable to speak coherently. Or, the author is unable to write dialogue for women (or believable men, for that matter). Makes you wonder why he married her in the first place. I guess this is intended to demonstrate that the husband is brilliant (so the reader can imagine that he is, too. "Yeah, take that!") and the wife is stupid (as a "certain class" of LW readers appear to believe that all women are.)

This kind of two-dimensional, cartoonish character exposition is tiresome. Any so-called writer that can't create believable people should find another hobby.

One *star for effort.

Doesn't all fit together. He gets on her about using protection yet says he gets to play too but can't use a condom? He must be immune to STD's. I also got lost in the timeline. She starts to tell how it started but he stops her saying he already knows? How does he know if she didn't know she would end up in his dormroom how would he? Thanx for writing it.

Write more sex. We always need more sex.

To err is human.

Linda succumbed to temptation.

Gary had stopped loving her even before he found out about her thing with a much younger man.

You could have started the story with Linda & Brendan in his room.

I think Linda deserved a second chance.

Your English is not bad at all.

(* * * *)

Congrats. This is a good story. I like the structure. Four out of five. The use of language is very unusual. It feels like English is not your first language or maybe you used an online translator.

I encouraged you to keep trying as I liked the plot structure a lot and I want to see what happens to these characters. Cheers Steve

Your dialogue is too stilted and unnatural. Aside from being ungrammatical, no one would ever say "Jane isn't a woman like you to attract guys at every street corner at first sight, but she compensated that with true passion I didn't have expected from her." Most of your sentences read that way. Try recording a real conversation and see how people actually talk.

The comments are for, well comments, NOT stories, however interesting. Your experience would make an interesting story. Too long and detailed for a comment.

To the Anonymous who wrote "Not a bad reaction".

You have an outrageous sense of entitlement. Your response to your ex constitutes emotional abuse for no gain whatsoever. The result is the same whether you divorce her right away or she leaves on her own after your reaction, which from my point of view does not look good on you. Forgive her or divorce her, those are your only options. The marriage contract does not entitle you to anything else.

And one I can completely get behind. When I found my wife was fucking her old boyfriend, I took a different tact.

I cut off all interaction with her. All of it. When I first learned of it, at that moment our marriage was over, although we had two children, 5 and 8. She had her first inkling something was wrong when I was moving my things out of the master bedroom and downstairs into the basement where I had set up a brand new bed and bedroom set. Following me downstairs as I carried my stuff, she was almost hysterical the longer we went without me responding. When she saw my bedroom set and a pile of lumber and sheetrock to build a room, she lost it.

I never responded to her. By the time I had everything moved downstairs, she was sitting in the living room staring at a TV that hadn't been turned on. She knew and she knew that I knew. After I was done, I went back upstairs to play with the kids before dinner, which I already had in the oven. You see, I'd had to cook dinner because she was off with horse-cock Tom, her old boyfriend, between work and home. I had even drove by to see her car sitting at his house.

That first night not a word was said. When the kids were in bed, I simply retired to the basement. She didn't follow me and I assumed she had went to bed in our old bed. When I got up and prepared for work the next morning, Friday, I found her sleeping on the couch. I didn't wake her and simply left for work. You see, she had been fucking Tom for at least 20 weeks that I knew of, so that meant it was no fling, although even a fling was enough to destroy our marriage. When I came home on that Friday evening I found a few things different. One, she had moved all my things back upstairs and put them back in the master bedroom. Two, she had taken the day off work and three, she had made a wonderful dinner. Jodi could hardly meet my eyes all through dinner, even though I seldom glanced at her.

I didn't speak to her again. At all. In fact, since I'd brought the entire episode into the open, I hadn't spoke a single word to her. But I did sit down with the kids and her for dinner, after which I took a book and retired to my bedroom, at least she hadn't stripped the bed. Thankfully, I had put a small lock on the inside of the door that led downstairs and heard her try the door, giving up when she realized it was locked.

Saturday morning found the house abuzzing! Four of my workmates showed up early and I was prepared and let them in. Within minutes, tools were moved downstairs, my stuff covered with plastic and we began building a bedroom and a bathroom, also, wiring and plumbing it for a kitchenette. When Jodi came downstairs to see what was going on, everyone ignored that she was even there and after realizing what was happening, retreated in tears. I simply could not have cared less. We put in a long hard day and my friends left, promising to be there the next day. I simply locked the door behind them and collapsed into my bed.

Sunday morning I was awoke with banging on the door and the guys were already there. They had already stopped by Lowe's and had all sorts of stuff to install, and by the time I was ready for bed that evening, I had walls already mudded and ready to be wet sanded when they dried, a toilet, showed and sink installed and the tiny kitchenette was open for business too! Monday morning I was out the door and off to work before anyone else was up. I left a calling card on my way out. An 8x11 glossy photo of my wife riding Tom's horse-cock, up close and personal. The camera's we'd installed at his house were fantastic.

When I got home that Monday night I was not sure what I might encounter. Anger? Sadness? Self loathing? Didn't know, really didn't care. But it was anger. Rage even! Jodi was in my face, screaming at me that I shouldn't have set something out where the kids could have seen it and if I was angry, to take it out on her, not the kids. I ignored her as if she wasn't within 500 miles, let alone 5". Jodi had taken it upon herself to cut me out of our marriage, I was merely finishing the job.

The evening was spent with the kids, all four of us had dinner together and watched television. The kids were excited about my 'fort' downstairs and asked if they could come down with me. We went downstairs and played and I put them to bed and retired to a better locked door downstairs. And that began our new lives. Each morning I set a new photo out on the table and she would scream at me if the kids weren't there each evening when I came home. It was always of her with Tom's cock inside of her or in her hand. My favorite was a really clear shot we'd gotten of her on her knees, one hand cradling his balls, the other wrapped around the shaft, her mouth sucking on the head and she was looking up at him like she was enraptured. I put that one out many times each morning when she had been particularly verbally abusive the previous evening. It didn't take her long to figure it out.

The next weekend saw my friends hard back at work. Wet sanding, remudding, finishing the bathroom and kitchen and by Sunday night, everything was done with the exception of me waiting to paint it, something I could do by myself. During the next week, I finished with all the painting and also bought all the kitchen utensils I needed. You see, I wasn't going to use anything from the upstairs kitchen, that was her shit and she could keep it. During that week I also had to take one day off and meet with the cable guys and I had TV! I also had to buy a new TV too and went out and bought a 65", in direct contrast to the 32" model we used upstairs that Jodi swore was big enough. The instant the kids saw the one in my room, guess where they wanted to be!

To that point I had yet to utter a single word to my wife. Friends who were keeping watch on her said she had ceased stopping by Tom's house. I found it strangely titillating when I heard someone had beat the hell of him and he was in the hospital while the police pursued every lead they were aware of. It turned out he was injured worse than it looked, with one ball being removed and lacerations to his liver. I guess he'd taken a lot of soft tissue blows. After my wife learned he was hospitalized, she didn't say anything to me, but began to keep her distance. Don't ask, don't tell was the mantra at our house.

After about three months cock-free, at least that I knew of, she started acting a bit sexy, as if she could fix things with her cunt. Nope, that thing was what led us to our current problems and I wasn't having anything to do with her. One night after I was coming out of the kids bedroom, she stepped in front of me in the hall, wearing nothing but a see-through negligee. I guess she thought that's all she had to do to repair our life but I simply walked past her and went to bed. Jodi continued to try and woo me, touching me only a few times before she realized how revulsive her touch was to me. When I jerked back, I guess the look on my face was of disgust and perhaps it was at that moment that she understood what she'd done. Her touch absolutely grossed me out. When she did that, she would find a picture on the kitchen table the next morning showing her reaching out and touching Tom, with a look of complete adoration on her face.

Tom was something I didn't understand. He had popped her cherry when they were in high school together and rode her like a racehorse all through school, according to others that went to school with them. If he wanted to fuck, she made herself available. More than once, other kids saw them come out of a custodians closet fixing their clothes and hair. At parties, he would take her out to his car, into a bedroom, wherever he could to have her make him cum. They could be seen fucking if you just wanted to go out to his '66 Camaro. But then he cheated on her, twice. And with her best friend. They broke it off, got back together when he got horny and needed to get off, then split up again when he gave her the clap. Yet here she was, cheating on me with her old cheater.

I realize now, it was all about his cock size. I never really considered anything like that, being pretty happy with my own dick, 7"x6". Reasonably long, relatively thick. But Tom's was in another stratosphere according to guys he'd went to school with, the story was he was over 8" long and over 7" around. That my friends, is a horse cock. And to think Jodi lost her tight little cherry to that behemoth? Ugh. I'm not saying I rattled around when we first got together, but lets just say childbirth didn't loosen her anymore.

Tom moved away after his beating, the word on the street was he'd been warned it would be best for his health. Jodi didn't seem to suffer any but I simply didn't care. She put on the full court press after about 6 months, even presenting herself once on my bed when I least expected it, up on her knees and legs spread wide, she knew my favorite position was doggy style. Its odd, I didn't even have a twitch in my cock, I reacted the way I really felt and grabbing her by her arm, finally spoke to her for the first time since everything came out. "Get your filthy diseased cunt off my bed, you're not going to infect this one too." I guess that might be the moment she understood that I knew she and Tom had fucked in my bed. She was hysterical when she went up the stairs and I couldn't have cared less.

We were roommates from then on. Except that we didn't speak to one another. The kids absolutely adored my new apartment downstairs and spent little time with their mother over the next six months and it was when school was out and the kids would be out of school that I came home and found the note.

'Dear Geoff,

I regret with every fiber of my being what I did to you, to us and to our family. Until I made the mistake of seeing Tom when he stopped by my work and invited me out for a drink, I've never felt so loved or had a more perfect life. We truly had the perfect life, until I messed it up. Yes, I am taking full responsibility for my actions actions that has destroyed our family. After that first drink I had with Tom, my old desires for him came flooding out and I didn't have any control over myself and became the slut that loved to be pounded by him.

My love, I lost all respect for myself but I couldn't stop. I know you'll think this was about cock size but it wasn't. He treated me like a cunt to be used and I fell for it again. It was like a dream, or nightmare, that I couldn't escape until the moment I realized you knew. My husband who I have adored from the moment I met him, knew that I was cheating on him, spreading my legs willingly for another man. I should have known how you would react.

Geoff, I filed for divorce and have signed everything and you'll find it all on the mantle above the fireplace. I've taken nothing but my clothes, I deserve no more. Hell, I probably don't even deserve to leave wearing clothes. Everything has been signed over to you but my car and that only because I needed a way to leave you in peace. Please, take care of the kids and let them know I didn't leave because I didn't love them, I left because I did love them. Remember the good times my love, not the bad ones.

I'll love you forever,

Jodi'

We were divorced in 4 months, I took the papers to a lawyer and he filed them for us. I learned later that Jodi headed for California and Tom was waiting for her. They never married but she stayed long enough to have him infect her with everything but HIV/AIDS. They were together for 4 years before she left him again, swearing she would never see him again. Her folks told me that one when I took the kids over to their place. I stay in close contact with Jodi's parents, they are our kids grandparents. Jodi has never came back to see our kids, although she never misses a birthday, Christmas or any other holiday she can send a card.

Me? I remarried, a coworker was the girl that soothed my broken heart. Unable to have children of her own, she took to mine as if they were her own and the kids call her mom, in loo of their birth mother. She loves them and they love her. Kimberly is tall, unlike Jodi, at 5'8", and willowy to Jodi's more stout yet not fat frame and weighs usually around 120lbs. We are a physically fit family and do quite a lot outdoors together. Kim loves sex and had never been married, although she had a few relationships. My cock was bigger than anything she had ever seen and is happy enough with what she calls her 'horse-cock'!

Jodi? She still lives in California and has a job as a cashier/manager at a small grocery and lives upstairs above it as part of her salary. She didn't remarry and doesn't even date according to her parents. She is self loathing and feels she doesn't deserve anymore than what she has. She had had it all in the past and threw it away.

The writing needs some work.

"...found out a week ago his wife had ..."

Delaying the 'a week ago' qualifier implies that the affair (in place for several months) started a week ago; not that his discovery was a week ago.

It seems that the wife should have had more dialogue. I assume the author's first language is not English - at times I thought I was reading a WINTERFROG story.

Congrats. The idea for this story is very good. Four out of five. I really liked the way the husband didn't get drunk, have an emotional breakdown or run away when he discovered his wife was cheating. I like the concept of him confronting her with the new reality. But as other commentors have noted this story was almost too emotionless. You can have the dialogue as it is but it should be interspaced with some emotional suffering on his part. Also her horrified reaction was sort of condensed into the middle and the end. It would have been better if she had reacted a few times in the middle of his diatribe. I also found some of the dialogue to be a little oddly worded. Is it possible the author has English as a second language? Regardless it was interesting and I look forward to reading the next chapter. Cheers Steve

Sorry pretty unemotional writing, you need to improve vastly 1*

Awkward writing. I won't read the next. Didn't do anything for me. You should have stopped here.

Thanks for the effort.

Very stiff writing with painfully formal dialogue. Interesting story but difficult to read and enjoy.

Well you certainly told us...and told us...and told us. This read like a shopping list with some verbs tossed in "for real live action." Of course, if you're positioning our hero as a dangerous man, then the toneless, flat quality of the dialogue fit perfectly.

verb (used with object), designated, designating.

1.

to mark or point out; indicate; show; specify.

2.

to denote; indicate; signify.

3.

to name; entitle; style.

www.dictionary.com

“By the way, it's not a nice remark to designate your husband as a mediocre lover.” – While I suppose “designate” isn’t TECHNICALLY wrong here, but I presume you meant “denigrate”, as in disparage or put down.

“She liked his athletic body and his youthful appearance.” – And I’m sure Gary would like the athletic body and youthful appearance of a 20-year-old woman, would that excuse him fucking her?

“would never pay her back with his own coin” – the actual expression is “her” own coin, or “with the same coin”.

In this story she really got an eye opener. Found that two can do it and the results might not be what she wants loop

"Her husband really wasn't that bad in the sack."

If my wife told me that, I'd jettison her fat ass right out onto the street.

Along with her loose cunt.

To emotionless. Too...cold. I can't even feel bad for him because I don't know what he is feeling.

she is just a dumb cunt, paying for her husband to take care of her with her cunt, then she makes it worthless

I love it when cheaters get their due. However, there isn't much chance for that marriage lasting very long. Even with having the poor kids.

Please continue!

Leaving it with broken hearts and an open marriage is lame.

......you struggle with spelling, sentence structure and punctuation as a result of not caring enough about your story to present it cleanly.

I found the,story a little brittle, but the,presentation was a considerable distraction.

I'd like to see another episode, but really, only if you're willing to put at least as much effort into editing it as you put into the original writing.

Oh, and you might want to watch your timelines. In one paragraph, you have her affair being one week old. In the next, with no clear indication of time passing or events padding. The time.ine, they had suddenly been at it for 3 months. Sloppy, really. Telling a story, you can't leave certain things to assumptions or guesswork. It is your job as the writer to tell the story with clarity.

Basically interesting, not unique and not as well presented as I would have hoped.

Maybe it's a speech like the other fellow said, I think you can salvage and it needs more. This is an erotica site so #1 it needs sex. I don't see how someone can write a story here with no sex. You can go write on the church blog with no sex The fellow Brendon needs to be drugged, kidnapped, feel some pain, then assuming he speaks no French, forcibly enlisted in the French Foreign Legion for life, And the wife: First get in super shape at the gym and have someone follow the wife and interrupt her cheating every time so she has no sex and make her really want your great big dick, then fuck her in the ass, ask some friends over to do her ass also, then torture her some more in some unique painful way and kill the bitch in a way where she can see it coming and not only don't you get caught, but Brendon gets blamed and you get the million dollar life insurance and live Happily Ever After!

Enjoyed the story and the direct and harsh confrontation. Interesting characters and resolution. Thanks for the read. Please keep writing.

I have never understood the we need to stay together because of the children syndrome, and that is what we have as the crux of this story.

It is basically a speech.

The story is well narrated and with a good grammar. The character of Gary is much matured,cool in discussion and decision. He has given freedom to Linda with an exception that the affair should not arrive at home. Gary in hear is sacrificing his personal life for the growing children appreciating Linda's nice mother roll. I guess the next part should arrive.....thanks.

What's next?

i'm sorry, but this is awful. You can tell a man edited it because it completely lacks any verisimilitude from the woman's point of view. Dick size is a complete myth. We hardly notice and we care less. Anal? It's a badly written cliched section that destroys the whole edifice of your story. It's a mess. Tear it up and start again. Dialogue! This isn't believable. Not one talks like this.

It was good, though a little formal for a real conversation, but worked well. Needs a bit of editing here and there. Good job overall. I want to know what happens next.

I think a sequel should show the life of this pair to the 95% probability divorce. Who will start the divorce? The likely is higher at the husband to start the divorce when his youngest kid is over 18 years and he found a newer long term woman. If the newer woman had kids (or he would have common ones) his second marriage will be successful in higher %.

5 big *****. Declared open marriage. Why the most cheating wives have hypocrisy, when the husbands start extramarital sex. They feel in their deepest mind an TRUE open marriage a constant danger to lose their marriage after the youngest kid becomes 18 years old! In high % the open marriages go to divorce.

I don't agree with most comments...His monologue was clinical, cold, calculating, and casual, because that was the only way for him to achieve his goal: To destroy completely his cheating wife. Any sign of weakness or pain from him would give her a base for her to try to get him back...Like this she had no groung where she could make her way. But I agree that a sequel can't be so cold and clinical. The grounds of a sequel must be "emotional", or it's better the story to end here...3*

Don't bother with another chapter

Another monologue from a self-entitled hubby who feels his monotonous verbiage is justified because he was wronged. There is no perceptible emotion or dialogue between a couple who have supposedly been married for a long time and have a family. Where is the crying? Where's the outburst of raw emotion which usually occurs after the revelation of infidelity? Why does the wife seem so subdued or collected when her supposed clueless husband has pulled the rug from beneath her feet?

And just as we get to learn of her timely remorsefulness, the story ends abruptly with no denouement. 0 stars

no thanks.

He already finished any thoughts she might have, or would eventually have, about any sort of reconciliation, when he told her that he realized that they now had an open marriage and concluded with the fact that he has taken a lover!

Second chapter...No, this story was quite good and covered all the bases.

As to those who want her opinion...what for, she already had one...Brendan. Now, maybe not, but she needs to start looking for the odd piece of tail if she wants a sex life...hubby just told her - No more with him!

Nice effort author, keep it up!

2ndThoughts.