Anxiety

Scarlett walked alongside the river from her office to meet Shane outside his office after work on Friday. She knew he couldn't wait to see her because he'd been texting her like a lovesick teenager since she last saw him on Wednesday morning. It was a lovely summer evening and the city was bustling, Scarlett loved the way the sun sat low in the sky, the orange glow reflected off the water and the windows of the office blocks and she watched the starlings in their daily murmurations above the bridge. Shane smiled widely when she approached him. "Hello darlin' I missed you." he said softly, his accent thrilled her. He pulled her into a tight embrace, kissing her like there was no one else around.

"Hello you" Scarlett said, smiling at him once they broke their embrace. "Do you fancy going for a drink to that bar with the deck that overlooks the river?" she asked, pointing towards it. "It's so lovely by the river tonight." she smiled.

"I was thinking more the Summer Evening Market over at the Quay?" he said. "The ones in work said it's good."

Scarlett tutted. "Shane! If I'd known you wanted to go tonight then you could've just come to meet me cos it's right by my office, I can see it from my window!" she said. "But I've walked the whole way across here to now go the whole way back again!" she sighed, exasperated.

"Hmm, sorry babe. I didn't know." Shane mumbled. "We can go somewhere else if you want..." he said.

"No, I do actually want to go and I've been wanting to go since it started 2 weeks ago. I declined an invitation from girls in work cos I wanted to go with you." she whined. "Come on, let's go." She began walking the way she'd come.

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy?" Shane teased as they walked back along by the river.

"About what?!" Scarlett laughed "I'm not jealous, Shane. I'm annoyed." she said. "You dismiss things I say or want to see or do but as soon as someone in your work mentions it, you're all over it like a rash."

"No I'm not! You're overthinking. Have you had a bad day, babe?" Shane asked.

Scarlett gritted her teeth and rolled her eyes, away from his gaze. "No, I had a good day. Actually I had a very good day and was in great form until 5 minutes ago so can we just drop this? I'll not mention it again. I am happy to be going to the market." she said, breezily.

Shane nodded. "Mm hmm. Yeah..." he continued as if she hadn't spoken. "...Nosey Paul was saying there's live music from different bands and crafty-type stalls. I thought it'd be your kind of thing." Shane said, slipping his hand into hers. Scarlett pursed her lips and said nothing.

They chatted about their days at work as they made their way along the riverbank, hand-in-hand. There were more and more people around the closer they got to the Quay. They joined the crowds of people crossing the footbridge over to the market. Shane saw a man walking towards them smiling at Scarlett and noticed she was smiling back at him. As they got closer they greeted each other.

"Evening Scarlett, finally heading to the market?" the man asked.

"Indeed." Scarlett replied.

"See you Monday. Early in the morning!" he smiled.

"Just as day is dawning!" she giggled and the man laughed as they passed each other. He nodded at Shane. "Have a good one!"

"Thanks, you too!" Scarlett called after him. She laughed to herself.

"Who was that?" Shane asked.

"That's Patrick from work." she replied.

Shane nodded but said nothing until they walked further along the bridge.

"Do you fancy him?" Shane asked.

"What?! Where'd that come from?" she asked, puzzled, looking at him.

He shrugged. "Well, you seemed to have a spark when you saw each other." Shane said, defensively.

Scarlett frowned, shaking her head at him. "I like him but I wouldn't say I fancy him. He's just a guy from work." she said, dismissively.

"Why did say 'finally heading to the market'?" Shane asked, mocking Patrick's voice.

"Well, he knows I've been wanting to go..." Scarlett said. Shane raised his eyebrows. "I told you about the market last weekend AND the weekend before and asked if we could go but you just grunted at me!" Scarlett said, annoyed. "Now that one of your work friends has suggested it, you can't wait to get over there!" she continued, gesturing across to the Quay. "I don't know if I'll ever be 'cool' enough for you to take on something I say before your work friends make you think it's cool, even though I suggest it first!" she sighed.

Shane inhaled sharply but ignored her statement and carried on asking about Patrick. "What about the wee jokes? 'Early in the morning'?" Shane asked, sternly.

Scarlett shrugged and looked puzzled. "Do I detect a hint of jealousy, Shane?" she teased, looking at him. "I don't know what you're seeing but there's nothing there." she said dismissively.

Shane tensed and stopped walking, pulling her arm tightly against him and leaning down to her ear. "Don't mock me, Scarlett!" he said firmly in a low tone, through gritted teeth. The crowd of people filtered round them on the footbridge but no one paid any attention to them. Scarlett's heartbeat raced and her breath caught in her chest.

Scarlett bowed her head and took a deep breath, trying to release his grasp on her arm. "His name's Patrick and he works in the post room. He's LITERALLY Postman Pat, which is what the 'jokes' are about." she said quietly. "He's one of the only people I work with who's around my age so we have a bit of a laugh. Is that alright with you?" she exclaimed, gaining confidence and looking at him. "See that girl holding his hand? That's his fiancée, who he's been with since they were at school." she gestured in the direction Patrick had walked. "See this girl holding your hand?" she gestured to herself. "This is your girlfriend who kinda hoped you finally knew better than to take your temper out on her again for no reason." she seethed and shook her hand out of his grip before walking quickly on ahead of him. She got to the other side of the footbridge and sat on a bench waiting for him, trying to calm her mind.

"Feeling better now you've got that off your chest?" Shane asked, nonchalantly, standing by the bench as he caught up with her.

Scarlett looked at him, nonplussed by his question after what had happened on the bridge. "Why are you behaving like that?" she asked. He held his hands out, shrugging like he didn't see her point. She thought back over their heated conversation trying to think where she'd been rude or out of order. She shrugged, pursed her lips and shook her head apologetically, not really understanding why.

They made their way through the queue and into the market. Shane grasped Scarlett's hips or held her shoulders or entwined their fingers as they walked through the rows of stalls. Scarlett pointed out a red brick building beside the market square. "See the third window to the left, on the first floor? That's my office." she smiled.

"So you really can see it from your window? Now I get you." Shane replied.

The market was busier than Scarlett had seen it all week. She enjoyed looking at all the stalls of arts and crafts, there was so much she could've bought but decided to treat herself to a little resin broach and a pair of earrings. Shane didn't offer to buy her anything, he just scoffed at her for buying 'tatt someone made in their kitchen'. Scarlett ignored him, she was pleased with her purchases. They bought some speciality beer and cider to drink and curry dishes for dinner before looking for a place to sit to watch the live band.

Scarlett relaxed, enjoying her food and the music, the warm evening breeze and the buzz of people around the market. "Where are you?" Shane chuckled, looking at her and stretching his arm out to wrap it round her shoulders and pull her into a hug, kissing her hair.

Scarlett frowned. "What do you mean? I'm here!" she replied.

"Here, in your own wee world." he laughed but to Scarlett it felt like he was belittling her.

"I'm enjoying the music and the atmosphere. We're here together." she said, putting her hand on his thigh to balance herself and feeling embarrassed and unsure. "Are you making fun of me?" she asked quietly, looking at the ground.

"No, I'm not!" he laughed. "You're so cute. C'mere!" he said, pulling her over to sit in his lap, he rested his chin on her shoulder and spoke quietly into her ear. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself." He wrapped his arms around her waist. "You're a bit tense, babe. Is everything alright?" he asked, looking into her eyes.

Scarlett smiled awkwardly "Yeah, fine. I'm just tired, it's been a busy week." She turned round with her back to him and he slid back on his seat so she could lean against it between his legs and held her hips.

"Do you fancy another drink?" Shane said in her ear then leaned forward to look at her, stroking down her thigh.

Scarlett looked at her nearly empty pint glass and shook her head. "No, I'm OK. It was nice but I'm not sure I could drink another one." she said.

Shane nodded. "Will we go after this?" he asked. Scarlett nodded. "It's getting cold." he said, touching her cheek with the back of his hand. "Do you fancy a bath when we get home?" he asked. Scarlett shrugged and finished her cider then stood up to lift her bag and turned to face him. Shane gasped her hips, pulled her back in between his legs and kissed her lustfully. Scarlett was very self-conscious and stopped him, standing back and holding his hand signaling him to stand up and leave.

When they got back to Shane's house, he went to the kitchen to get them drinks and Scarlett went upstairs to his room. The sun was setting, the room was comfortably warm and the window was open letting a cool breeze flow through. Scarlett sat down on the edge of the bed and then lay back, she listened to the early evening bird song outside and closed her eyes feeling so at peace in the moment. Shane plodded into the room and set two glasses on the table then went over to shut the window. "What are you doing?" he asked.

Scarlett sighed quietly and opened her eyes. "I was lying here listening to the birds singing. It was lovely and peaceful." she said quietly.

"Right." he said, frowning. "You know my laptop's there so you could just listen to music instead." he sniggered as he took off his shoes and threw himself down against Scarlett from the opposite side of the bed so they were top to tail. Scarlett tutted quietly and moved to make space between them. "So... bubble bath?" he asked, turning his head towards her.

"Nah, I'm alright." she said softly. Shane turned over onto his side to face her and propped himself up on his elbow, nudging her head with his feet. She didn't react so he continued. "Stop it!" she hissed.

"What's up?" he asked, stroking his hand up under her blouse, feeling her soft skin under his warm hand.

"Nothing." Scarlett replied, looking at the ceiling and squirming slightly under his touch. Shane sat up and started unbuttoning her blouse from the bottom up, kissing her skin gently as he opened each button. "Shane..." Scarlett said, holding her hands down to close her blouse over her torso. "...can I not just lie here in peace?!"

He lay his hands on hers and rested his chin on them, looking up at her. "C'mon babe, there's no need to feel self- conscious." he whispered, stroking her hands. She looked down at him and then lay back on the bed and took a deep breath, shaking her head. Shane sat up on his knees, straddled her and leaned up to her face. "You weren't self-conscious the other morning." he teased, looking in her eyes. "You were the foxy Scarlett I know and love...that I've missed." She shrugged and felt embarrassed. He looked at her and thought for a moment. "Or maybe I'm just forgetting that I need to warm you up better to make you more comfortable" he said softly and kissed her in slow gentle kisses on her lips. Scarlett kissed him with a slight reluctance, still unsure since his outburst on the bridge earlier. He kissed her and started unbuttoning the rest of her blouse then kissed her neck and down her chest and torso. "Your skin's so soft." he whispered, stroking down her torso. She gasped as his beard tickled her skin and she ran her hands through his hair. He stood up to undo her trousers and she sat up, he slid her blouse off and unclasped her bra throwing them both on the chair by the window. Scarlett unbuckled his belt while he kissed her shoulders and stroked her back.

"Aw no, I hate these ones" she laughed quietly, struggling with the buttons on his jeans. "You look hot in them but I can never get the buttons open." she said, embarrassed. He chuckled as he pulled off his top and then opened his jeans, pulling them down and stepping out of them. He leaned down and kissed her passionately then climbed back on top of her and lay her back on the bed, kissing her neck and grinding against her. "You're so hard!" Scarlett panted, feeling his cock against her over her trousers.

Shane groaned in agreement, squeezing her breasts as he continued kissing her neck. She gasped and panted.

Shane sat up and pulled down her trousers and pants and then leaned down to pull off her shoes and socks before standing up and holding her pants up to his nose, inhaling deeply. "Stop doing that!" Scarlett said, embarrassed. Shane pulled down his pants and stepped out of them.

"But I love the way you smell, babe." he groaned, inhaling her pants again. "Look how hard you get me." he gestured and she looked to see him stroking his cock with her pants in his hand. With his free hand he caressed down her entire body and his brow furrowed. "You're so hot, Scarl. I want you so bad." he groaned.

Scarlett ran her foot up his leg and gestured him to kiss her. He lay back down between her legs as they kissed each other passionately and his hard cock grinded against her wet pussy. "I want you inside me." Scarlett groaned.

"Shall I lick your pussy, babe?" Shane asked. Scarlett shook her head. "Oh. Ok" Shane frowned, disappointed, sitting up in the middle of the bed. "Climb on then." he said softly, guiding Scarlett to sit facing him on his lap.

"Wait..." Scarlett hesitated. "... Are there any condoms left?" she asked. Shane sighed and got up, went to the drawer and brought one back to the bed, resuming his position sitting with his legs folded. She opened the wrapper and tried to roll it onto his cock. "I always get stuck once I get to the underside of the tip and the edge of your foreskin." she said, embarrassed. He laughed quietly and rolled it easily down the shaft while she held the tip. "Thank you" she blushed and he kissed her. She leaned up on her knee and held herself so he could slide inside her. She took several deep breaths and moaned quietly as she slowly sat further down on him with each movement, finally wrapping her legs round his back and her arms round his neck when his cock was fully inside her. "Oooh that's so deep." she breathed, closing her eyes briefly as he grasped her round the waist and started rocking. "Slowly, go slowly." she gasped. She opened her eyes to see him gazing at her lustfully. "Tell me if I'm too heavy." she whispered, blushing.

Shane's face fell. "You're not 'too heavy' Scarl!" he said softly, kissing her. "Are you comfortable?" he whispered. She nodded and kissed him. "Does it feel good?" he whispered. She nodded and furrowed her brow. He smiled and kissed her. "Good" he whispered. She hugged him round the neck and lay her head on his shoulder, breathing long, deep breaths as they rocked together. She held him close to her and closed her eyes as she slowly gained momentum, breathing deeply.

"OK, babe?" Shane whispered. Scarlett hummed in agreement. "C'mere, Scarl. Look at me." he whispered, holding her back in his arms. Scarlett sat back and looked at him, he put his forehead against hers. "Are you ok?" he whispered. She nodded. "Sure? You're very quiet." he whispered. She nodded and kissed him. "Do you want to change position?" he whispered.

She shook her head. "Ok. Let me just check..." he said, reaching down between them to feel the condom was still on. He smiled up at her and kissed her before she hugged his neck again, rested her head on his shoulder and began rocking against him.

She felt the tingle of her orgasm teasing her but she was also overwhelmed by her emotions, she felt the urge to scream or cry and she daren't let Shane see her face for fear it would betray her. Her breathing quickened and she gasped and moaned very quietly as she felt her orgasm rising. She rocked steadily against Shane who groaned and held her tightly when he felt her getting closer. He kissed her shoulder and stroked her hair as he held her. "Let it happen, babe." he encouraged. "I've got you." he whispered, grasping her body tightly as he felt her hips start to grind uncontrollably against him. Scarlett panted and slight moans escaped from her lips in a jerky chorus as she came. Scarlett clung to Shane's shoulders and held the back of his neck as she tried in vain to hold back tears that spilled down onto her cheeks as she rode out her orgasm, trembling. Her breathing was laboured as she came down from her orgasm and tried to swallow her emotions. She clung to Shane, trying to recover her breathing and wipe away her tears. She stayed wrapped around him for what felt like an eternity as he stroked her back and kissed her neck.

"Scarlett." Shane said softly, trying to sit her back to look at her.

"Give me a minute." she whispered, hugging him tightly. She wiped her tears and swallowed hard, taking a deep breath before sitting back into his arms and looking down. "That was intense." she laughed nervously, exhaling loudly.

Shane kissed her forehead. "Are you alright? You're really shaking, more than usual!" he said, holding her upper arms.

She smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'm OK. That was intense." she said, avoiding looking at him. "I'm fine, really." She didn't know what else to say or how to explain. "Do you want to get on top?" she asked. Shane nodded and lay her back before pulling out but then stood up at the side of the bed and patted the duvet. Scarlett put a pillow down and lay across the bed with her ass on the pillow as Shane held her thigh and slid into her pussy.

He gasped, looking at her with his brow furrowing. "Mmmmm!" he groaned. He grasped her left thigh against his hip and let her right leg dangle off the bed. He groaned as he thrust harder into her. "Fuck! You feel so good!" he groaned, throwing his head back. Scarlett gasped at the force of him but turned her head away, feeling the lump in her throat erupt into tears again. "Tell me how it feels for you, babe." he groaned. Scarlett didn't answer, she couldn't, she was trying desperately to stop the tears running down her face. When she didn't respond Shane stroked his left hand up her torso and looked down at her. He stopped, seeing her crying. "Scarlett? What's wrong?" he asked urgently. Scarlett shook her head and frantically wiped her eyes. "Are you sore? Have I hurt you, babe?" he asked concerned, trying to catch his breath.

Scarlett shook her head. "I'm OK, just keep going." she said quietly through her tears.

"Keep going?! You're crying, Scarl!" he said, shocked. "Come here," he lifted her shoulders off the bed and held her against his chest "tell me what's wrong." he said softly, stroking her hair.

Scarlett held her hands over her face, embarrassed. "I don't know, I just felt overwhelmed. I don't want to stop, Shane. Keep going." She felt Shane's cock twitch and start to soften inside her.

"I know I like it a bit kinky at times, babe but I'm not gonna fuck you when you're upset. That's enough to make anyone's dick soft." he said, holding her as he pulled his cock out and pulling off the condom. "That was a waste of a good rubber!" he sniggered. Scarlett bowed her head and tried to stop sobbing, she crossed her arms over her body, embarrassed. Shane kneeled down on the floor in front of her and tried to wipe her tears. "Aw Scarlett… hey, it's OK." he said softly but she kept her head bowed.