Anxiety

"Here, get into bed." Shane said, standing up and pulling the duvet back on Scarlett's side of the bed, climbing in and pulling her across to him before wrapping the duvet up over their naked bodies. Scarlett lay her head on Shane's chest and stroked it with her fingers as Shane clutched her to him, stroking her back. "What's happened?" he asked softly. Scarlett shrugged, tears dripping onto Shane's chest. He sighed loudly. "You know I can't help if I don't know what's wrong." he said softly.

Scarlett sniffed and shrugged, still stroking the same patch on his chest. "...I don't know...nothing..." she said.

"You started crying while we were fucking. It's hardly nothing, babe!" he exclaimed. "Are you sure I didn't hurt you? Was it too hard?" he asked, stroking her hair and looking down at her. She shook her head. "C'mon, you can tell me, Scarl." he whispered.

"I don't know." Scarlett said, swallowing and trying to breathe normally. "I just got this really overwhelming feeling that I was going to cry." she said, tears still running down her face. "I don't understand why or what happened. When I came...I...started...to cry. I'm so embarrassed." she said. "Sorry Shane."

"Don't be daft, babe." Shane laughed quietly. "It's OK to feel anxious but you don't have to, it's me. We know each other." he said. "I love being with you." he kissed her head. "Are you sure there's nothing else?" he asked.

Scarlett shrugged. "I don't know, I don't understand what made me feel like this. I'm sorry for ruining it." she sobbed.

"You're right. It's ruined. Come on now, my cock won't suck itself!" Shane joked. Scarlett froze. "Scarlett, I'm joking! Come on, calm yourself!" Shane said, stroking her hair. "It's been a lot getting used to being back together and all the life changes the last couple of months, you're probably just adjusting to everything." he said. "Promise me you will tell me if there is something upsetting you babe?" he asked. Scarlett nodded. "I think you just need a good sleep!" he chuckled as he stroked her hair and Scarlett eventually relaxed down into his embrace. He kissed her head and stroked her back, listening to her breathing and within 15 minutes she was fast asleep.

A few hours later Shane woke up to a snuffling noise in the darkness. Confused and sleepy, he reached beside him in the bed to feel for Scarlett but she wasn't there. "Scarl?" he whispered, sitting up slightly. He heard her breathing and saw her hunched over on the edge of the bed. "Babe? Are you alright?" he asked quietly, quickly sliding across the bed. Scarlett was crying and shaking. "Scarlett?" he held her by the shoulders. "Did you have a nightmare?" he asked, confused.

Scarlett shook her head, gasped for breath and tried to speak but she couldn't stop sobbing. "I can't get my breath..." she managed to croak.

"Are you choking?" he asked. She shook her head. "What should I do?" Shane asked rhetorically, frantically looking at her. She shook her head and held her hand to her chest, gasping her breaths. He lept out of bed, turned on the lamp, bent down in front of her and held her face in one hand, looking in her eyes, with his other hand on her chest, feeling her skin clammy with perspiration and her pulse racing. "Right..." he said to himself.

"I'm scared!" Scarlett gasped, tears streaming down her face.

"Are you in pain?" he asked her, touching her hand. "Are you bleeding or anything?" he asked, looking her up and down.

She shook her head and clasped his hand.

"Do you feel sick? Have you been sick?" he asked. She shook her head, sobbing and rocking forwards.

Shane nodded and stood up straight, frantically trying to think what was happening and what to do. "Don't leave me alone, don't go anywhere." Scarlett gasped, clasping his hand.

"I'm not going anywhere, darlin'" Shane said softly, sitting down on his hunkers, looking at her and holding her hand. "You're OK. I'm here. You're OK. Just try and take deep breaths." he encouraged her. "Are you sore or do you feel sick?" he asked again. She shook her head, still gasping her breath. He held her hand and wiped her tears and whispered to her. "Sh sh sh. Just breathe slower, babe. Sh sh sh, come on. Slow your breathing down."

Scarlett began to breathe slower, deeper breaths. "That's it, Scarl." he whispered, animatedly breathing in and out slowly. Scarlett suddenly felt the panic again and started to sob again. "Sh sh sh sh sh. You're OK. Breathe slowly, babe." he encouraged. Scarlett slowed her breathing and clutched her chest with her free hand, taking deeper breaths and sitting up straighter, flexing her back. "That's you, good girl." Shane said, stroking her face and kissing her forehead as her breathing became more stable and she stopped sobbing uncontrollably. "You're OK, Scarl. It's OK." he said softly as she took long, shaky, deep breaths. She shook her head at him, embarrassed. Her face was flushed and blotchy, stained with tears and strands of her hair stuck to her skin, clammy with perspiration and she was trembling.

"I'm going to get you a fresh glass of water and a cold cloth, OK? I'll be just two wee minutes babe." he stood up and let go of her hand, searching for his pants on the floor. "I'll be right back, OK?" he said, kissing her forehead and looking in her eyes. She nodded and took a deep breath.

Shane returned, setting a glass of cold water on the table beside her. She still trembled as he brushed her hair out of her face and patted her face, neck and chest with a cold face cloth. "Sorry." Scarlett said in a shaky, hoarse whisper, looking down. She took a deep breath and tried to clear her throat.

"Don't apologise, babe." Shane said softly. "Are you feeling a bit better?" he asked, handing her the glass of water and sitting down beside her on the edge of the bed. She trembled as she held the glass, sipping from it cautiously.

"My chest and back are aching." she whispered. "And my throat." she whispered hoarsely, still looking down.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I dunno," Scarlett shrugged. "I was sleeping and next thing I was having a panic attack." she said, her head still bowed.

"Why didn't you wake me?" he asked, gently.

She shrugged. "I didn't know what to do, I thought it would be over quickly." her voice less shaky but still a hoarse whisper.

"Babe..." Shane sighed. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her against him. "Everything's OK, there's nothing to be anxious about. I know you worry about when your contract ends and finding another job but you're doing everything you can." he said. She shrugged. "There's no point worrying about something that hasn't happened yet and you have no control over anyway." he said. "It's not worth getting yourself into such a state about. It'll work out the way it's supposed to." he said.

Scarlett's brain was still in overdrive from the panic attack. Any attempt at reassurance was pointless but Shane had a point.