by nomdeplume85
I didn't like how the brothers virginity was glossed over, or rather, not mentioned at all.
Good one! Such overly hot people exist in this world, so it is very believable. Old Al tangled with one such hot one many moons ago. I mean all that gal wanted was to fuck! I took her to a hockey game. She made me leave early , ( not that it was terribly tough to do!) , and when the game was over and the crowd let out, we were still going at it in my car! My compact car! Many had to notice but only one guy ( naturally a guy) actually said anything. All Old Al could do was roll my eyes and smile.
My sister Pallavi loves to get her asshole licked by me. I lick Pallavi’s asshole and piss on her face everyday. I fuck Pallavi’s fat ass.
It was going good until the ass fucking - that always is a turn-off for me.
even though I think its kinda sad he falls in love with her and shes just gonna go and fuck around with everyone else anyway.
I enjoyed reading this. I've been looking around for ideas of how I would like to write my story. It'll be my first time writing an erotica story. It wont be incest though but I've been seeing how other write, what makes me cringe and such. How they go into details, what would be too much and not enough. As said, I enjoyed this. Though I think there are some parts that are a bit too much I still believe it did a good job.
This story is just as good everytime I read it as it was the first time. Sequel please!
The story was excellent. It was a fast paced story, good to get your rocks off too. Only a few things to mention.
You went from the boy being 13, then 18, then 13 again. Sort of disrupts the idea of him you have in your head.
Second, and this is just a personal preference, try to add a bit more background, seduction, and foreplay into it. Good fast fucks are always good, but sometimes you need that extra little bit.
Overall this story was very well done, and an exciting read. For your first story. Congrats man.