All Comments on 'Aphrodite's Reward Ch. 02'

I have to say thank you for this (so far) excellent series. It is refreshing to find a story that is not only entertaining, but well written. I look forward to more chapters!

I enjoyed it but I felt you neglected the Artemis angle

Looking forward to more.

As usual, great stuff!

Firstly, it's nice to see you still writing here! I want to read Natural Consequences but I lack the money. And yes, I do know how much it costs, and yes, that is an indication of just how depressing my financial situation currently is. ^_^

I agree that this is a very similar tone to your other stories, but I think the setting and the world are compelling enough that those similarities don't stray into self-derivativeness. I really liked Days of High Adventure and it's nice to see you going into what appears to be your own fantasy world.

The only problems I had with this story were the immediacy of Davos and Ariella's love for each other and some issues you sometimes have with overemphasising a point. I also want to note that these are perhaps more issues to my tastes rather than anything really being wrong with the story. It's just that if you want me to invest in a real connection between two characters then there needs to be at least a little build-up to it. I get that this relationship is literally favoured by the goddess of love, so that's kind of the reason, but it was still just a bit too fast. I mean, they can like each other, shag each other and all that, but love's a big word. Also, you do a whole lot of really good stuff to begin to establish why these two characters favour each other, I just think you jumped the gun a little bit on pressing the 'love' button.

The "overemphasising a point" problem comes with Ariella's description of Davos' new nature. This feels like you're anticipating the criticism of readers who prefer monogamy or a male oriented harem and you're trying to pre-empt the inevitable argument. I know it's hard to show that Davos is now super-sex-demigod-dude without him coming off as a womanising prick, but I think that's best carried off in the show-don't-tell department. Ariella's and Davos' conversation about him becoming selfish and stuff seems more like you as an author possessing your characters and saying to your reader "Guys! It's totally cool! He's not like that!" And that's not so bad in small doses but I did get the sense that they talked about it a bit too much. I'm like: "Dude, I get it, quit with the meandering moral philosophy and get to the humping already!" Davos has already slain an evil goblin, freed a dragon and comes off as a genuinely nice guy throughout. You've established him well enough. You don't need all the fretting to make me feel like he's a decent bloke.

Anyways, those are two relatively minor points. Davos does come off a bit similar to Alex, but he's also Alex in Sexy-Middle-Earth, which is interesting and gives the story its own flavour. I really enjoyed the beginning battle. Action scenes like that aren't easy, but you did yours really well and it's a strength of your writing. I'm interested in how Davos will emerge into the high society of the city, even if it's only briefly before he takes off to pastures new.

Overall, great stuff, and my complaints are VERY minor issues and didn't remotely derail my enjoyment of the story. Just thought I'd mention them cuz I'd want them mentioned if the tables were turned. Thanks for the new story and I'm looking forward the next chapter and to eventually getting my hands on Natural Consequences.

Cheers!

Regarding the overemphasis of a point: not at all an unfair critique. This is something I've heard before. It's tough to find the balance, because when your story goes against cultural/societal norms in a way that isn't inevitably doomed to punishment by fate (i.e., woman sleeping with another man =/= OMG what a lying whore), one does have to do a bit of immediate set-up lest the reader feel let down when they don't get the expected outcome. Additionally, I think when one deliberately goes against societal norms, one does need to have more than one conversation about it; certainly, when I was in an open relationship, I had more than one conversation with my significant other(s) about it. But in fiction, the balance is different, so... yeah. Something to keep in mind.

As for creating my own fantasy setting, I'm being deliberately lazy about it. While I care about telling a good story, I don't want this to turn into a time-consuming project. The use of real-world pagan gods in a not-Earth fantasy setting feels super lazy to me, and if I was going to do any real world-building I'd have to come up with my own original pantheon of gods. But I figure this all works for this one time around.

unless you wanted to deliberately change mythology, Aphrodite never viewed incest as a crime - remember, she committed it many times. The only thing she viewed as a crime was rape - and in that sense was incest a possible crime (ie a father raping his 12-year old daughter). Other than that, great story!

On the other hand, are you going to continue 'It's Legal in Other Planets!'? That story is great as well, and you promised that you would continue that one as well, but that one hasn't received new chapters in over a year.

I enjoyed reading Part 2.

Thank you

A great read! Looking forward for more to come!

I couldn't read the last page of chapter 1, the site says there is a problem with it.

This is a great story, I hope to see more of it.

P.S. I have read all your books and am hanging for the next ones ;)

It was a real pleasure to read this story. I hope to read much more by you.

Bluedragonauthor, Lien Geller, Bashfullyshameless - in my estimation, the best three writers on this fabulous site.

Thank you.

As Anonymous 10/13 said you are without a doubt one of the three best authors here. (And I free on his choices, too!). You should publish even if only other web or Amazon or Barnes and Noble. I would buy your works as I'm quite many others would gladly. I raise a toast to you! Bless us again with the fruits of your mind!

Ch. 01 was mayhem, savagery, destruction, magik, dragons, and vile creatures of all manner. It ended with blood, pain, brutality, and destruction. If a painting it would be slashes of Red and Black.

Ch. 02, only 48 hours later is serenity, comfort, soft, pleasure, and lust. Fully restored Temples, commerce, Inns serving food with drinks flowing, no mention of fires or damage. Pink, white, lights.

It feels like a transition chapter is missing.

Most unusual to read about humility, lust, love, and philosophy all within a few pages. Well done!