Apprehended Ch. 18

Christmas: the annual Christian festival celebrating Christ's birth, held on December 25 in the Western church.

A festival I was never able to celebrate with Jerry.

The thing was; my parents were born Catholic. I remember celebrating this occasion annually without fault.

Until they died.

With no other living relatives, I bounced around like an object-never staying in one place long enough to call home.

That's where Jerry came in.

Once I hit eighteen and I was fresh out of High School, I was on my own. That was both a good thing and a bad thing. No one guided me. There were no processes that explicated the responsibilities of being an adult.

I met Jerry while working a late shift at a diner. He was tall, muscular, and kind. He asked me out on a date...and things became pretty serious after that. I was in love with the idea of love; enthralled that I was no longer alone, fending for myself. I ignored the signs; those little prickles of warning that gave away his intentions.

I became dependent on him; losing myself along the way. He was oppressive, subjugating me in a prison of my own rendering. I could have left many times. I could have asked for outside help. There were resources.

Abuse isn't so easily dismissed.

I was alienated. When you're in your own head with no escape, things tend to get muddled. Change becomes impossible. Words and physical power become your worst enemy. I blamed myself for allowing it. I blamed myself for seeing no other way out.

Until he almost killed me.

My life was more important than the idea of being alone. I was willing to try...to find my own rhythm of adulting.

Then Ethan came along. Although he was overprotective, he was not Jerry. He was everything I was originally looking for in a male all those lonely years ago. And I began to remember times of my childhood that I had repressed.

Halloween, and Christmas'. Easter, and Valentine's Day. All reasons to celebrate the fact that I am alive. That I'm breathing. That my heart hasn't given up the ghost and that I am strong.

I was not alone. But I wasn't inhibited either. I wanted to take back all of the things I lost with Jerry. I wanted my birthday back. I wanted Thanksgiving back. I wanted Christmas back.

And I was going to take it no matter what.

"So...when are we getting a tree?"

I sat in an ice-cream shop with Ethan and Gavin. It was afternoon and despite the frigid cold, the sun was shining, and the air was clear.

Ethan took a spoonful of his chocolate ice-cream, talking and eating simultaneously. "You want a tree?"

I played around with a few strawberries in my cup. "Yes. You don't have a tree. Why is that?"

He was sitting across from me, wearing the sharpest black sweater, dark-blue jeans, and black, high-top boots. He opted out of a coat. "I haven't celebrated Christmas since I was a toddler."

Gavin barked out a laugh and leaned into the table so I could hear his lowered reply. "And that was well over two hundred years ago."

Ethan elbowed him in the ribs, causing Gavin to scowl like a child. I chuckled. Gavin had a child-like quality; constantly testing his Beta boundaries. On several occasions, he wouldn't even bother referring to Ethan as Alpha. He'd call him cuzzo, bro, male, gramps, and a couple of other choice words I'd rather not mention.

A few times, Ethan would have to remind him of who he was speaking with. On others, I could tell that Ethan was on the verge of beating him into submission. Then, there were the days where Ethan would hide a smirk; only allowing such insubordination and disrespect because Gavin was his beloved cousin and second in command.

Today was not one of those days. "Can you at least attempt to act human?" Ethan asked lowly.

Gavin's brows furrowed. "I would like to think I am." He took a giant spoonful of cookie dough ice-cream and swallowed it whole. "Besides, my Luna here absolutely adores me." He tossed me a wink.

Ethan growled and I laughed.

"By the way," added Gavin. "I want a tree too."

I reached over the table and grabbed some of Gavin's ice-cream. He never seemed to mind that I shared with him. "Thanks, Gav."

He shrugged and leaned back, resting a thick arm across the seating in the booth. "Can I pick out ornaments?"

That made me excited. "Yes!"

"Now wait a minute," interjected Ethan. "I didn't even say yes."

We gave him a look. "You're going to anyway. Can I taste your ice-cream, Ethan?"

He offered me his cup without hesitation. Gavin looked me over. "You never eat that much ice-cream, sugar. You ate breakfast?"

"Yeah," I said with a mouthful. It was so cold, I got brain-freeze. "But the strawberry tastes yucky."

They both chuckled. "Let me taste it," said Ethan, snatching my cup and sampling it. "Sweetheart, it tastes fine."

"It tastes weird to me."

"You want another flavor?" asked Ethan, glancing at the window.

I knew what he was doing. Gavin was doing it too. They were scanning for any signs of Dina. "Not really." I also knew that it took a lot for Ethan to take me into town with Gavin. After Edwin's funeral, it took him a few days to gain a semblance of normalcy.

He was trying.

I was grateful. Once again, he sacrificed his needs for me. He continuously expressed his selflessness, never allowing me to feel alienated or neglected.

"Switch with me," said Ethan, sliding his cup across the table. He was facing the window while I sat on the opposite side.

"Are you sure? You love chocolate."

He took my cup. "I love you more. Now eat so we can go Christmas shopping."

I felt my face flush at the sentiment. Ethan had no problem expressing his adoration for me in public. "Really?" I squealed in delight.

They chuckled again. "Yes really, my love," he said.

I leaned across the table again and offered Gavin my hand. He gave me a high-five. "Can we get presents too?" I asked, now eating Ethan's ice-cream.

"Sure," said Ethan, finishing off my strawberry.

Gavin polished off the rest of his cookie dough, giving me a few more spoonful's before he finished. When we were done, Gavin left first to secure our route, only coming back when he was certain we were in the clear. I huddled into my coat and held Ethan's hand, bouncing from store to store. Eventually, we found a store stringently dedicated to Christmas. It reminded me of Santa's Toy Shop. Or a rendering of what I thought it would look like, at least.

"How big do you want it?" asked Ethan.

I froze, nearly dropping a snow globe. Was he referring to a tree?

Ethan laughed and walked over to me, pressing his warm, strong body against my back. He placed his hands on my hips and lowered his head to speak softly against my ear. "Where has your mind wandered, my petal?"

I placed the snow globe back on its shelf and shivered. Ethan laughed softly. "Um...uhhhhh...I, er...ummm...what were we talking about again?"

He laughed even more. "The tree, sweet female. The tree."

"Oh...that." I turned and faced him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He was so tall, I had to tip-toe, and it was still difficult. He lowered himself to make it easier for me. "How tall are you?"

His brows shot up. "Why?"

"Because if we get a tree, it will look weird if it's shorter than you. The cabin is large. I want a big one."

He smiled. "Alright. I'm six-eleven, baby."

My eyes widened. "You're what?!"

A couple of people in the store glanced over at us. I offered a smile in reassurance. It was overwhelming enough that Ethan and Gavin drew unwanted attention with their appearance. I now had toss myself into the oddity mix; with several people staring a little too long at my hair and eyes.

We didn't need any more attention.

Ethan seemed unperturbed. "What?" he said in confusion.

"I didn't know you were that tall."

He smiled again and brushed a thick strand of hair behind my ear. "All for you," he said, pressing a soft kiss against the tip of my nose.

Oh, he smelled soooooo good.

"Look at this!" interrupted Gavin. He shoved a wreath at us. It was covered in pine cones and holly. He tossed it in a red shopping cart.

I giggled. "Where did you get that?"

He grabbed the snow globe I was admiring earlier and assessed it. "They have them up front," he said. He put the snow globe in there too.

I inhaled sharply, pulled away from Ethan and grabbed the wreath. "Do we have to get this?"

"Why?" asked Gavin.

"You don't like it?" asked Ethan.

I sniffed it again. "The pine is too strong."

They both eyed me strangely.

"What?" I asked.

They shared a look I wasn't privy to. But then Gavin shrugged and said, "No worries. We'll get a fake one." He put it on a random shelf.

"That doesn't belong there, Gav."

"That's what the employees are here for," he pointed out, grabbing more decorations. "To replace and restock."

I looked over at Ethan, who was admiring Christmas kitchenware. I grabbed a mug. "Look, Ethan."

He laughed.

It was a Santa mug with muscles and a female sitting on his lap. It read, ho, ho, ho. I scanned the kitchenware section, where Ethan was preoccupied. There was a frying pan set that I thought he might like so I tossed it in the cart. "Psst, Gav."

"Hmm?"

"Can you toss something on top of that? I don't want Ethan to see it."

He took a gander and barked out a laugh.

"What? You think he won't like it?"

"I don't know, Luna. Ask him."

"It's supposed to be a surprise."

"Then don't ask."

I pushed at his shoulder playfully. He didn't budge. It was like attempting to move a mountain. "You suck at giving an opinion."

He glanced at Ethan quickly and lowered his mouth to my ear. "Why don't you get him that?" he whispered, pointing.

My eyes widened in horror. I smacked his arm as hard as I could. "Are you perverse? WTH is wrong with you?"

He laughed so hard, his face turned a bright shade of red. "You asked for my opinion."

"Not for that!" I said. He had chosen a sheer Santa teddy with matching lace panties and bra. It was provocative. "You're terrible, Gavin. A nightmare."

He laughed even more. "Tell me he won't like it?"

"I don't like it."

"Why not?" he asked.

"You can't be serious right now."

He moved closer to me; his voice low and deep. "I don't see why he wouldn't appreciate you in something like that, Luna. You're his mate."

I snorted. "His fat one."

Gavin didn't like that. "You realize that full-figured women are preferred for us, correct?"

"Have you seen a mirror, Gav? You, Ethan, and all the males in your clan are model material. I am anything but."

"What we look like has no direct correlation to our preferences. Now, I know Ethan better than anyone. He's more like a brother to me than a cousin. Just as he knows me better than anyone. Which is why I know that he finds everything about you more than attractive. Extra pounds mean little to us. We are more than capable of handling you. No matter how unattractive you may think you are, just remember that we are males. Males that appreciate a fuller figure and can make a female such as yourself feel like the beautiful woman that you are."

I didn't know what to say to that. So I said nothing.

Gavin sighed and grabbed a lock of my hair, twirling it around in his long fingers. "I also know that if Ethan heard you verbally demoralizing yourself, he would do everything in his power to show you just how much you mean to him."

That was true. "I don't like to admit it," I said, my tone hushed. "But sometimes I feel like the damage is irreversible."

We stood silent for a few minutes in our little corner. He broke it first. "Ethan told me little of your past. But I know enough to encourage letting go of it; of the things you cannot change. This is the present. Here-away from what was-you can create a new view. A new version based on yourself. Not on Ethan or me. Or anyone else. You."

I felt the tears burn; threatening to destroy the fun that we were having.

"Don't cry," he said, nudging me a little. "If Ethan smells your tears, he will think I caused them and chop my balls off. I really like my balls, Annie."

And there it was. Gavin being Gavin. I smiled.

He winked at me. "That's better, Luna." He gestured to a section of hot chocolate packs with mugs. "How about we go get some hot chocolate to take home with us? I'll grab some cookies. You and I can make a night of it, playing video games. Does that sound like a plan?"

He had no idea how much I appreciated him in that moment. My friendship with him was everything I needed. He was not Ethan, but he understood. And he respected me. "Okay."

"Good," he said, smiling. His dimple reminded me so much of Ethan. "Now get in the cart."

I frowned. "What?"

"You heard me. Get in the cart. Free ride!" He slapped his hands together and rubbed enthusiastically. A female near us jumped in fright, scowling and muttering under her breath as she beat feet.

I stared back at Ethan, who was now reading the label on...something. "Alright, fine. But I need help getting in."

Without warning, he picked me up and placed me in the cart. He moved a few things around so I could sit cross-legged. I couldn't stop the giggle that escaped. I hadn't done this since I was a child.

"You ready, my Luna?" asked Gavin.

"Yes," I said excitedly.

We rode around the store in a fit of laughter. By the time we arrived at the hot chocolate section, we added more items to the cart and attracted more attention.

"What in the fuck are you two doing?"

I froze, my hand on a cinnamon cookie that Gavin had given me from a box he opened.

"What does it look like, butt pimple?" said Gavin. "I'm giving my Luna a ride. And I'm feeding her. She was hungry. Aren't I the thoughtful male?" He rolled his eyes at Ethan. "I should be receiving a well-deserved thank you."

I feared for Gavin. If looks could kill, he would be dead. Ethan's glower was enough to cause imminent death. But then he looked at me munching on my cookie with a smile. "Does that taste good, love?"

I nodded. "You want some?" I offered him a bite.

He bit into it. "That's good, actually."

"See," said Gavin. "Where is my thank you?"

Ethan tried to hide his laughter but failed. He punched Gavin in the shoulder roughly.

"Ow!" snapped Gavin, rubbing his flesh. "You hit hard!"

"Pussy," Ethan muttered.

I giggled...and dropped my cookie on a gasp.

"What's wrong?" asked Ethan.

I pointed ahead. "That's the tree! Look, Ethan!"

It was huge. It had to be at least seven feet tall.

"That's the one you want, belulla?"

"Yes! Oh, it's so pretty."

Gavin whistled.

And Ethan laughed heartily. "It's-"

"Pink," Gavin finished. "It's a pink tree."

I moved aside items in the cart and made a move to get out, but Ethan stopped me. "What are you doing?"

"I want to see the tree up close, Ethan."

"Stand up," he said, moving directly to the side of the cart. Gavin held it still.

"No. I'll just crawl over."

Ethan offered me his arms. "Stand up. Take my hand."

This was a bad idea. The cart was unsteady. Standing in it was not ideal.

"You think I'm going to let you fall, sweetheart?"

"Of course not."

"Then stand up, mea vita."

I muttered a curse and stood up, holding Ethan's hands until he let go and shoved his hands underneath my arm pits. He lifted me up and over the cart with ease, holding me to his large body to give me a kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips. He held my ass and carried me to the tree.

"Ohhhh," I said in wonder. Ethan leaned in. I touched it. "It's sparkly."

He smiled wider. "Quite like you, my female."

We admired the tree. Pink and gold lights alternated in waves of fiber-optics. "Can we get it, Ethan? Even though it's pink?"

"Anything for you, my petal."

"Really?"

"Yes really, my love."

I gave him a kiss.

"That is so sweet."

I pulled away to catch sight of a girl standing a few feet from us. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. I work here and happened to catch a little of your conversation."

She was around my height and had similar stature. She was a bit thinner than me but still thick. I jerked when something crashed to the floor beside Ethan, shattering into pieces.

"Gavin?" I asked.

He was standing beside us...staring at the female intently. The snow globe he was holding fell from his grip and I knew it was not an accident. There was a reason.

I was just slow on the uptake. "Gavin, what's wrong?"

Ethan stared at him and muttered a curse. He kicked Gavin's leg, causing him to gain awareness.

"Ahh...ummm...what?"

Did he get a stroke? I reached out and lightly grabbed his arm, giving it a squeeze.

That seemed to do the trick. "Luna?" he asked.

"Are you okay, Gav?"

He looked at the female again. "I am now."

Ethan went into his line of vision, blocking the female from view. "Not here, brother."

Gavin growled. "You can't tell me no, Alpha. I can't control it any more than you. Now move."

Okay. WTF was happening here?

"Not. Here," Ethan all but growled.

Gavin moved deftly to the side and bypassed us with ease. He approached the female and offered her his hand. "Hello there, sweetness. What is your name?"

The girl's mouth opened to form a perfect O. Frozen, she simply stood there with Gavin towering over her. He laughed lowly, his smile bewitching the poor thing. I heard her gasp when she saw his dimple.

He took off his cap, revealing his glorious blonde hair. She took a single step back in what appeared to be shock. His magnificent male beauty was on full display and the poor girl didn't know what to do.

"Gavin?"

He ignored me and took another step toward the girl. "Your name, angel...what is it?"

She licked her dry lips. "Uhhh...ummmm...I'm uhhhhh...Lily."

His chest vibrated and he closed his eyes, inhaling her scent. "Beautiful," he murmured. He snagged her hand and lifted it to his lips, where he pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

Ethan muttered a curse. I looked at him. "Is he..."

"Yes," he answered. "He is."

Gavin stroked Lily's skin with his thumb and continued to talk to her. She answered shyly and turned various shades of pink. It was quite endearing to witness from an outsiders perspective.

"What do we do now?" I asked Ethan.

He was still holding me in his arms. "He's not going to let her go. We need her contact information and location so he can come back for her."

I continued to stare in awe. "Did he know she was in here before he saw her?"

"No. It can be rather sudden for the majority of males. Me included."

I swallowed the bile that surfaced in my throat. "Please tell me he isn't going to just...take her...is he?"

He stared at me. "I'm an Alpha. I had no choice."

"And he does?"

"No. But he is Beta. Not that this is alright, but if he passes from this life to the next, the clan does not suffer when in comparison to losing an Alpha. He has the opportunity to charm and convince. Whereas, I did not. My pure blood does not allow me such luxuries. I feel more strongly than any male in my clan. Hence my need to take you."

"Pure blood?" I asked in confusion.

Ethan looked around, making sure we were alone. "Not any male can become Alpha, my female. We are born into it. My father and his father and so forth. The purest breeds of our kind. Undiluted blood to ensure the future of the race. My instincts are stronger than any males within my clan. I am stronger than the rest, bigger than the rest and have a connection to you- my mate- that is unparalleled."

Somehow, it made sense. I rested my head on Ethan's shoulder and watched as Gavin found his own mate. She didn't know it yet, but she was his.

She had no idea what was coming her way.