April Fools

April Fools

Some pranks go over the top.

A submission for the: April Fools Day Story Contest 2024.

Tags: Cheating Fiancée, Racist Stereotypes, No Sex

*****

"Don't do it Cin," said her best friend Prudence, "I'm telling you this won't end well...for you!"

"Oh, why not? It'll be a real hoot to see the look on Benjamin's face when he's been April Fooled. He's always so straight laced and serious. I swear sometimes I think he's as uptight looking as his namesake on the hundred dollar bill. It should loosen him up some when he realizes he's been pranked. It'll take his mind off our wedding next week. Then we're gone baby, for our honeymoon, to one of the island resorts that he bought tickets to. Wasn't that so clever of him, as usual, waiting until after the spring break college kids have cleared out and the rates have returned to normal, and then we'll partay, just like old times."

"And I'll tell you a secret, but you must promise not to tell anyone, I've thrown away all of my birth control pills - I plan to get pregnant and then never return to that dismal waitressing job we both endure in that rat-hole restaurant we slave away in."

"Cin, for the last time...you don't do this to the man you're about to marry...you don't know how he'll take it. Why he might...he might even realize that you aren't the right girl for him. He might even realize the right girl for him has been right in front of him all of these last few years..."

Cindy completely ignored her and said, "Well Pru, I'm going to do it. My mind is made up and that's that! Maybe you need to lighten up too, if you're going to be my Maid of Honor."

*****

About 3:00 AM on Sunday March 31, the late night/early morning after she and her girlfriends had a drunken bachelorette party at a male stripper event for Cindy, Prudence half carried the seriously impaired and still slurring girl into the apartment she shared with her Fiancée.

Benjamin had been snoozing on the couch having fallen asleep watching some mindless TV movie while waiting up for her to return. His back was to her, and at first he wasn't quite awake or focused enough to see her clearly, from where he was lying on the couch.

She slurred, in a cheery voice, "Hi Honey - I'm home!"

"Hey Love," he said without clearly focusing on her, while rubbing the remaining sleep out of his eyes. "How was your big blow-out?"

"Great...Fantastic...the biggest...and best, I've ever had!" she slurred, while holding the wall up, but starting to slide down it. "I thoro...throwed...oh shit...loved my last fling!"

"What?" said an alarmed Benjamin.

"No, Cin...just...No!" said Prudence, propping the girl back up. And trying to drag her away to the bedroom before Cindy could launch into her ill-conceived joke.

Cindy gave her a sour look and then announced, in her drunken voice, "I've decided...I'm going to quit my waitressing job at the restaurant, but I've already lined up another job offer tonight. I'll slip into one of my new uniforms come out and model it for you. No peeking until I tell you, ok."

"Uhh...ok. I'll just go and get a beer."

"I think...I better leave." Prudence whispered as the two girls struggled to the bedroom.

"No, I want you to stay and watch his face when he sees the new me."

"Ok, but you better tell him right after you surprise him that it's an April fool's day joke."

"No, I'm going to stick to my plan - I'll let him sweat for a day and then tell him on April fool's day that it was all a prank. You'll see, we'll all get a big laugh out of it."

In the bedroom, Cindy shucked her coat and dropped it on the floor before pulling her toque off and fluffing up her new hairdo. She changed and then bouncing from one wall to the other she made her grand entrance to the living room, followed closely by Prudence who was ready to catch her if she fell.

"No peeking remember." She reminded Benjamin, just before arriving for the big reveal. And with that she went around in front of him and said, "OK. You can open your eyes now."

He did - His eyes bugged out, and his jaw fell open.

Cindy laughed and said, "See Pru? What did I tell you? Priceless, right?"

"Yeah right...and remember what I told you!"

Benjamin just sat there with his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish out of water gasping for oxygen."

"Oh boy! I've seen enough. You're on your own girl...I'm not going to be involved in this shit-show anymore. I'm out of here."

"I'll see you later, Cin, and find out how things turned out after you tell him. Promise...you will tell him?"

"Oh, go on, leave...you wet blanket. You're spoiling all my fun."

Benjamin just continued to stare at the new 'do' Cindy had. He was having difficulty believing what he saw. But he did manage to croak out, suspecting the worst, "Tell me what?"

As usual lately, she ignored his question.

She had dyed her previously straight golden blonde hair black and had it curled in 60's, Afro style kinks.

She was wearing his - on her - oversized bathrobe so he couldn't see what she was wearing underneath it.

"Like my new do?"

He took a big mouthful of beer - the smart man's delaying tactic while trying to think of the correct thing to say - rather than answering.

Then she dropped the bathrobe revealing a French Maid stripper outfit.

His eyes bugged out again and he choked on the big gulp of beer - almost spewing it on the carpet.

"Jamal, one of the male strippers I tried out for the Bachelorette party, told me that he had too many blondes already, but if I got a new look he'd give me a job at the club. So, I did...and then he did promise me a job - after tonight's debut...and try out!"

"What job, and what exactly does, 'And try out,' mean?" asked an alarmed and suddenly very concerned and suspicious Benjamin.

She totally ignored him, again - a really annoying and disrespectful habit that he had increasingly noticed manifesting itself in their relationship, conveniently not until after they announced their upcoming wedding.

"Wait there's more I want to surprise you with!"

She did a sudden twirl almost losing her balance and falling over, which made her skimpy little miniskirt fly up revealing that she was only wearing a black thong that was stuck so far up between her ass cheeks that he couldn't even see the dental floss like string that held it in place.

Her big bouncy boobs were practically spilling out of the tiny undersized shelf bra.

Then it escalated again as she bent over, miraculously without falling over, and pulled down the G-string. When she straightened back up her newly shaved totally bald pussy was revealed.

She asked, "You like?"

He just about fainted, he was so overwhelmed. "What the...Why?" was all he managed to croak out.

"Wait there's more," she smugly announced, pulling open a drawer in a coffee table and proudly producing a 10" long fat black dildo. Jamal said I'll need to practice for freaky-big black guys whose kink is to fuck white women, while getting private dances in the VIP rooms - I'll need to practice both vaginal and anal. It's even bigger than Jamal, but I managed to fit him in all three holes. And I think I'll be able to handle the really big black guys with a bit of practice. Although, I wonder if that saying, 'Once you go black, you don't want to go back,' is really true.

That final racist taunt was the, 'nail in the coffin,' for Benjamin as he ran to the bathroom and threw up the beer that had soured in his stomach.

Cindy collapsed on the couch laughing her ass off at the reaction she had caused. When Benjamin didn't return right away, she decided to finish off the opened beer and somewhere along the line she finally just faded away into a dreamless stupor.

*****

She didn't surface again until a pounding on the apartment door jolted her awake. Slowly managing to focus through red rimmed bleary eyes at the clock on the TV control revealed that it was well after noon.

Her night passed out on the couch left her sore and achy all over but at least when she got to her feet and made her way to the door she was a lot steadier than she had been coming in last night. She reached to remove the safety chain that Benjamin always made sure was fastened and realized it wasn't this morning, but she didn't waste any more thought on it right then because the pounding on the door had resumed.

"All right, all right already." Without even looking through the peep-hole to see who it was she unlocked and yanked open the door to stop the pounding only to realize much of it was coming from inside her own head.

Prudence pushed her way past Cindy and into the living room. "Well...how did he take it when you told him?"

"Umm...Ahh...well the thing is, I kind of fell asleep on the couch, last night, and I haven't seen Ben yet today.

"Cin? WTF? Its past noon and you're still wearing that gag boudoir stripper's outfit. Go and get changed into something decent and see if he's stirring yet. You better be ready in case he blows his stack when you tell him it was all an April Fools prank.

"Ok, Ok, I'll go change and let him in on the joke.

Cindy reappeared a couple of minutes later having changed into her usual lounging at home casual track pants and T-shirt.

"Umm Pru...he isn't here!"

"What? He's left and he still thinks you've auditioned to become a stripper?"

"And a Hooker."

"Say what???"

Cindy explained about the dildo gag, that in 20-20 hindsight and in the sobering light of day even she had to admit was over-the-top. "This is bad...real bad...isn't it Pru?"

"Ya think Skippy?"

"Any thoughts on where he might have gone, Cin?"

"I don't know." Sniffled the girl on the verge of tears, unable to think clearly in her, distraught and regretful of a joke seemingly gone horribly wrong, state.

"I'll bet it was either his parents or...wait...yes, I'll call his best man first and find out if he knows." Said Prudence, as she pulled out her phone and hit the speed dial number.

After a brief pause, "Hello, Buddy, its Pru...yes can you put him on, Cin would like to talk to him. Oh...oh...I see...no, I understand. Tell him it was just a dumb idea of a joke that backfired. Listen, Cin and I will come over and she can apologize in person. Oh...oh...OK...see if you can calm him down."

"What's that? 'Once you go black no one wants you back!' That's a rather cryptic, hurtful, racist statement, I don't understand it." Prudence repeated, staring wide eyed at a suddenly mortified and beginning to wail Cindy.

Prudence returned her attention to the phone call, "Listen none of that happened last night - I was there the whole time - I wouldn't have let that happen. I'll come over myself and try and explain how sorry she is. I'm on my way - see you soon."

"You're in deep do-do girl. Apparently Ben is ranting about how the wedding is off. And he doesn't want to have anything more to do with you. No seeing you - no nothing."

Cindy was wailing and crying on the couch as Prudence made a quick exit, headed over to Buddy's to see what she could do to commiserate, console, comfort, and otherwise make Benjamin feel better.

*****

Much, much later Prudence came back to see a very chagrined and remorseful Cindy.

"Well?"

"I think I managed to put a few band aids on some of the worst cuts - but you really did a number on your relationship. It's going to take some serious ass kissing to make it up to him."

Cindy perked up, at the so-so positive news, right away. And then boasted, "Nonsense a few blow jobs and over-the-moon sex on our honeymoon and everything will be fine again. Maybe we'll even go to one of the nude beaches and he can compare and appreciate my delicious 'boday' even more."

Prudence gave her head at shake at her friend's naiveté, "Anyhow...for now he's not ranting about calling off the wedding. Buddy is taking him for a Boy's night out and to sympathize with him some more. He's going to stay over at Buddy's until the Big Day."

"Thank God. That was the plan anyhow. Oh, and thank you also Pru - I don't know what I'd do without my Bestie!"

"Well, let's keep our fingers crossed and hope it works out...for both of us!"

"Ok then - that little drama behind us - let's get on to fine tuning the details for next Saturday, shall we? Now about Ben's boutonniere..." Cindy rattled on to herself as a distracted and dreamy eyed Prudence was only half listening.

*****

Wedding day arrived.

At the last minute Prudence had begged off, apologising profusely, claiming she was mortally smitten with some, she hinted, permanent but mysterious condition and just couldn't possibly come.

Then things got even worse for Cindy. When the bride and her procession were forming up with her father, all ready to give her away, and a hastily conscripted 2^nd best friend as maid of honor, an outwardly seemingly concerned Buddy was explaining that Benjamin was not in the church.

Cindy's father was red faced and looked like he was about to have a stroke. Cindy wasn't in much better shape - In fact she looked like she might faint.

Buddy smoothed things over by suggesting that Ben and Pru seemed to have been bitten by the same bug. And then, seemingly on the spur of the moment, he came up with the eminently sensible suggestion that, since the non-refundable reception had already been paid for, and everyone in the church was here for a celebration - why not go ahead with the party and have the wedding later when the missing pair were up for it?

And that's what happened.

By all later accounts, from those that could clearly remember it, a good time was had by all - especially since there were no mind numbing speeches or glass klinking for kisses, despite the AWOL guests of honor.

*****

Epilogue:

Cindy tried for weeks to badger one of his friends or relatives into revealing where

Benjamin was hiding.

As her baby bump started to show, and grow - She was desperately trying to delude herself into believing that it was Benjamin's and not either Jamal's or one of the other three well hung black, long since vanished, strippers that she had auditioned for the Bachelorette. Time would prove it wasn't Benjamin's - his skin wasn't that dark.

But since he works in a cash business as a roofer/home handyman and Prudence likewise as a waitress mostly earning tips for a living - they could be living happily anywhere.

All she was left with was a selfie featuring the happy smiles of Benjamin and Prudence on an island beach with nude bathers in the background posted to each of their social media accounts, before they were closed.

With the epigram,

April Fools.