Arcadia Remember Ch. 01

"I tried to go with her but they wouldn't let me, they wouldn't let me help," Rollow sobbed out. Atale sat her on her bunk and we crouched on either side of her grabbing onto her hands.

"Do you know where they took her?" I asked calmly, stroking her hand in mine as tears still ran down her face, her nose and cheeks red from fright.

"I don't know, I tried to help but they pushed me," she cried.

"Are you hurt honey?" I asked, glancing at Atale anger bubbling in my throat.

"I just bruised my arm on the floor," she motioned to her arm and I gently assessed her finding a dark area beginning to bruise on her wrist. I kissed it and smiled up at her.

"We can't stop Yellow & Reds honey, you know that. I know you care about Gen and so do we, I'm gonna go find out what happened, Atale will stay here with you," I kissed her wrist once more, "you were brave but you're gonna be ok, alright?" I asked in a voice that stunned me how similar it was to my mother's. I kissed her on the forehead and stood tall and infuriated. Atale stood too, not letting go of Rollow's hand.

"Be, careful, Em," she said with a glare in her eyes.

"I will," I said calmly, we both hugged tightly, she never let go of Rollow's hand.

"Take care of her," I whispered in her ear while we embraced.

We let go of each other, I wiped a tear from her cheeks and headed to the door. I opened and closed a little more forcefully than I intended. I headed towards the infirmary, which was more like a broom closet with a few beds in it. I had been there one other time before. The memory sent shivers down my spine. I wasn't sure I could handle watching another loved one die there. As I got nearer, I could hear shouting between voices I didn't immediately recognize. Turning the corner, there was a man, older than me, bulkier than most Black & Blues but his combination of dark purple trousers and blue henley suggested he was very out of place. His hands were in the air as he was shouting at the Yellow & Red who had a single hand pushing him back sternly.

"You can't do this, you know who I am right? Let me see her, please, I am her friend. At least tell me what happened? Let me hold her hand, don't let her have your face be the last thing she sees!" He was shouting but the Yellow & Red wasn't backing down. They both stared at me and paused their altercation when I approached.

"Is Gen in there? What happened to her? I'm her bunkmate." I tried to sound calm and controlled, crossing my arms to stop them from fidgeting.

"For ship's sake at least let her in, I know you can do that," he seemed to be on my side but I still didn't know who he was. He took a step back as the Yellow & Red glanced at me, looked me up and down, then slowly nodded his head towards the door shifting to the side staying in the other guy's way. I slowly stepped in and tried my best to keep the memories of seeing my mother shivering and wasting away on one of these beds months ago.

"Well a pretty little thing like that, sure let her by without a word, but your old mate here has to stay out here and wait like a Black & Blue," I heard the guy mocking.

"You are a Black & Blue," stated the Yellow & Red with great authority.

"Oh that's just great Victus, act like you and I don't go way back, that's a low blow man, I know your wife!" I heard the other man still going on before the door closed behind me.

There was only one bed occupied and I made my way over to it slowly, rubbing my forehead trying to wrestle away the memories of my mother in the same bed. The similarities were jarring, or was I mixing up reality and the past. I slowly went to the other side of the bed to meet her face as she lay on her side curled up. Her form, so small even on the small bunk.

"Gen?" I asked quietly, a small waver in my voice as I knelt down to meet her eyes. She slowly opened her eyes and tears fell from her eyes when she saw me. I gave her a small smile and it was all I could muster. I reached for her frail hands that were shaking slightly as more tears left her eyes.

"Hey, what happened? Rollow said they wouldn't let her come with you," the echo of my mother's voice haunted me once more. She nodded slightly, her whole body shaking now her grasp on my hands almost nothing. I could tell she was trying to say something but the words were too quiet.

"You got all of us worried back at the bunk, did they say what's wrong?" I asked leaning in closer to her so I could hear her this time. She shook feverishly and I heard her take in a deep breath.

"There is no such thing as a useful worry," she whispered.

I pulled back to look at her face and squeezed her hands a little tighter. She smiled at me and nodded a little. I smiled back as a tear escaped my control. And just like that her eyes faded. Their brightness clicked out like a light. I bit my lip so hard I could taste the blood. I relaxed my head on the bunk with our joined hands below my forehead. I didn't have the energy to weep like I wanted but the tears made a stream down my face in every direction. A loud sob escaped my mouth and I could hear the man outside starting to shout again. I stood up untangling my hands from her, her body now. I closed my eyes and clenched my fists so hard I could feel my slimy fingers digging into my palms. The anger of how dirty my hands were as they touched her last moments fueled me and I lashed out at the closest thing to me. The wall.

I imagined the noise of my outburst is what drew their attention, the Yellow & Red, Victus, opened the door to see me standing, facing the wall, my chest heaving with emotions and pain. I bit my lip again swallowing the blood and turning to face them. They both looked at me with shock. I blinked more tears away and looked up at the ceiling. Fidgeting with my shirt I turned towards the door and stormed passed them both without a single word.

"Way to go Decker!" I heard the man shout to Victus followed unfortunately by his footsteps close to mine. There were still tears streaming down my face and I didn't care anymore. My fists were still clenched tight and searing with pain. He caught up with me and grabbed my forearm trying to turn me around to him, I snatched it down and turned to face him rage burning in my face.

"What?!" I screamed at him. He took a step back and held his hands up a bit.

"Alright, well, you're bleeding," he leaned a bit and pointed to my hands. I flexed my entire jaw looking at my hands with just my eyes, shrugged and raised my eyebrow at him.

"I'm sorry," he offered with a hint of something else in his voice that sounded almost like a question. "I'm Hayden," he offered his hand then took it back quickly pointing to my hands, "the blood there love, needs attending to." He smiled a harsh smile and gestured towards the hallway beside us, "will you let me, please, in my room." I took in a huge breath about to scold him for being so callous to someone he didn't even know, and then thought about how he was trying to be with Gen, even arguing with a Yellow & Red. Then I thought of how it would look to Rollow if I walked into our bunk hysterical, and bleeding with bad news. I tilted my head slightly and took a step in the direction he gestured towards.

"I was trying to reason with Victus before you got there. Yellow & Reds are all meatheads, but Victus usually has a bit more heart to his, well heart. But he couldn't deny you since you are, were, her bunkmate," he continued on. "I swear some of the rules here are so... you hit pretty hard," he rambled. I could only glance at him still trying to bring my heartrate down, his quirky banter distracting me slightly. We came to a door and he opened it holding his arm out for me to enter. I gave him a glare and walked in. The scenery was a welcome distraction. His room was a little bigger than the one I shared with three others, or two others. But only one bed was in sight.

He shut the door behind him and gestured to the bed, "Please sit let me get something for your hands." I sat slowly, still taking in the room itself. He had another area that was separated somewhat and had clothes and shoes of black, blue, green, and purple. He had another locker in the room, and it looked like he also had his own toilet and shower. I raised an eyebrow finally glancing down at my hands and chastising myself. They were both red and bloody on multiple knuckles. This was going to suck tomorrow during my hold tomorrow.

He sat down on something and it moved with him as he glided over to be in front of me, he held out one hand, a box in the other. I lifted mine right and put it in his hand, he moved it around a bit then opened the box and pulled out some long white wraps.

"Well it doesn't look like you broke anything, but this is gonna be hell tomorrow," he said gently wrapping one hand and then the next. When he was finished he put the box back and I slowly flexed and relaxed each hand wincing at the pain.

"Well then it won't be different from any other day," I said standing up and heading for the door.

"No need to thank me," he scoffed as I walked past him. I turned to face him.

"You're right, thank you, sorry I think I'm still in shock," I offered.

"And you have every right to be, I can't imagine it was any easier the second time around," he suggested.

I knew what he meant but who was he to say something to a stranger about watching her mother die, "Why do you have green and purple clothes, they aren't your mangle?" I spat at him crossing my arms and flinching slightly when my knuckles ached.

"It would seem that way wouldn't it," he huffed and I could see him go somewhere else in his eyes, "I used to be a Green & Purple. But you are right they are not my mangle colors. Anymore."

"No one changes mangles, everyone knows that," I threw my arms out at my sides.

"It would seem, Captain Went made a special exception, just for me," he shrugged. I turned to leave. I didn't have time for more sad stories, I was living my own sad story.

When I sneaked my way into my room, I tried to be as quiet as I could. Atale and Rollow were wrapped up together in Rollow's bed. I took a sigh of relief and started taking Rollow's shoes off. Atale stirred a little, also trying not to wake Rollow, gently untangling herself and rolling over to make eye contact with me. I pursed my lips and shook my head no. More tears escaped me. She put her hand to her mouth trying to stifle her sounds. She got up slowly and wrapped her arms tight around me, I squeezed her back just as tight as we both cried silently. She let go first and I let her, wanting my bunk more than anything. She wiped a tear from my cheek and gestured to her bunk, I nodded and shook off my shoes climbing up with her. We snuggled into each other and cried silently. It was all too similar to my mother's passing and I had to shove the thought of Henry's cure away, hard. It would be so easy to forget.

I awoke first, Atale beside me, our pillow still wet from tears. I kissed her forehead and slowly climbed down the bunk to find Rollow still sound asleep as well. I went to the makeshift mirror and tried to fix my hair into a loose braid. My mother's dark dreary eyes stared back at me, the dark circles were there to stay now. I heard shifting behind me as I finished tying my hair back and Rollow stretched looking first to Gen's bed. She looked at me and I knew the hardest part was to come.

"Honey," I said, moving to kneel in front of her, taking both of her hands in mine, "Gen isn't coming back. She wanted me to tell you that she loves you, and she is so very proud of you," my mother's voice echoed through me. Rollow cried a few tears taking this much more gracefully than I did.

"Does that mean your mom and Gen are finally friends again?" she asked innocently.

"They were always friends honey," I stroked her cheek, "But yes, now they are together, talking about how wonderful you are and how proud they are of you."

"Gen said she knew she would see her again soon," she smiled lightly and seemed calm already. I could hear Atale waking up and climbing down behind me. She knelt down in front of Rollow with me.

"Honey, she doesn't have to work any more," she said with a brave smile I envied her for.

"No more work for Gen! No more work for Gen!" Rollow shot up, bouncing up and down. Atale and I looked at each other with such admiration for Rollow hugging to share this moment. The bell rang and we went back to our business.

"Loop, swoop, aaaaannnnnnd pull," she exclaimed not needing my help with her shoes this morning. Atale and I made eye contact and both raised a single eyebrow at the same time, a smile almost reached both of our faces, almost.

The hold went just as every other hold does, some people gave me encouraging smiles and knowing nods. They were meant to be encouraging but they tore at the hole breaking in my heart. They all meant well. Except Henry, he only wagged his brows at me suggestively, and I almost went to him, almost.

The next few days went the same as all the others, dishes, chopping veggies, serving food, mopping floors, cleaning bathrooms, washing walls, and all the other mundane repetitive tasks that were assigned. When the bell sounded for mealtime I was so relieved, my knuckles had been healing well but they were itching for a real break. Atale sat beside me and Henry continued to smirk at me from across the room. I stared at him as I dug into my food.

"Don't you dare," she muttered, not sure if she meant it for him or for me as she squeezed my thigh in encouragement. I looked away from him and back to Atale. The hell I put her through when I was doing Henry's drugs should have been unforgivable, but she was Atale.

"Seventeen!" she said excitedly.

"Sixteen and a half," I corrected jubilee.

Hayden appeared and sat down opposite us at our table. I glared at him and tried to cork the memories that came flooding towards me from the night we met.

"Ladies," he nodded, whipping a cloth out and placing it on his leg. "Seventeen," he cocked at me.

"Sixteen and a half," I corrected once more.

"I guess you're right," he smirked at me, "Any big plans when the veil drops?"

"Dancing," Atale and I giggled out in unison. I was grateful we had something nice to look forward to at this point. Part of my mind also noted that Hayden was clad in the appropriate Black & Blue colors today.

"Seems like a good plan to me," he said around a few bites in his mouth, his fork turned upside down from everyone else's. He gazed at me intently, "I'm sure you hear all the time," he gestured his fork towards me, "you have your mother's eyes." He plopped another bite into his mouth.

Atale reached down and squeezed my thigh again. I pursed my lips tightly, angry at this guy who clearly didn't know his place. I opened my mouth to say something when the door behind us slammed against the wall freezing everyone in place to stare. A very large Yellow & Red was dragging a woman by her hair and shoved her to the floor in the middle of the mess hall, she was sobbing uncontrollably. Her face red, and I almost didn't recognize it at first but Atale did. She dropped everything and ran over to her mother with the Yellow & Red standing ominously over her. A few other Yellow & Reds walked in casually behind the first one.

"Mom are you ok?" Atale asked as she approached her mom in a heap on the floor. The Yellow & Red that dragged her mother in backhanded Atale, before she reached her mother sending her to the floor hard. My heart didn't just stop, it split in half between my stomach and my throat, I stopped breathing, stopped moving. For a moment I thought I had died of shock. Atale lifted a hand to her face, blood coming from her nose and tears streaming down her face, she met her mother's gaze and tried to crawl over to her once more. The same guard kicked her in the stomach before she made much progress. She laid on the floor curling into a small ball in pain and a small noise escaped her mouth echoing in the silent room full of Black & Blues.

Hayden threw his fork down and stood so strongly his chair screeched back a few feet the sound deafening. He threw his hands down on the table and stared straight into the guard's eyes. They stayed like that for so long I realized I had stopped breathing taking in a gasp and putting my hand to my mouth in sheer terror. I couldn't lose anyone else. Especially not Atale, she was more to me than a blood sister ever could be. She saved me when no one else could. She took me from the brink of addiction and back.

"For the crime of theft against an officer of a higher mangle than herself," the guard's eyes never left Hayden's. He gripped Atale's mother's neck and lifted her up to stand, keeping a stangling hold on her, "Overboard," he declared and thrust her towards the other guards behind him who caught and restrained her easily. Atale found new haste with that statement and rushed the guard who had assaulted her.

"NO ATALE!" I screamed as I stood up in place, still too terrified to approach the situation itself. She dove into his middle trying to knock him off his feet, he plastered a wicked grin on his face and kneed her in the middle as she collided with him not moving him an inch. A small huff escaped her lips on impact. He didn't let her fall to the floor again, grabbing her at the neck raising her to look into her eyes. He clutched her tightly at the neck with one hand and backhanded her once more. This time with much more force and her mother's cries. Her body wanted to fall over but he kept his grasp on her throat, her hands clutching at his forearm uselessly.

"And the punishment for obstructing the law of Yellow & Red," the guard chided with evil gripping her tighter as she slapped at his arm.

"Let, her, go," I felt the anger barely contained in Hayden's voice. The guard looked as if someone had slapped him when he snapped to look at Hayden.

"Another one for overboard," he licked his lips, "It is a good day gentlemen."

"I said. Let, her, go," Hayden repeated leaning off the table and slowly sauntering over towards the guard. I almost missed the look he shot Atale's mother as he walked closer to the guard holding Atale. But not close enough to be threatening.

"Please Lictam, it is only natural that a child would react so, so, irrationally to the state she saw her mother in. Surely, you could forgive the," he tilted his head, "indiscretions of a young woman." He smirked at Lictam, who surveyed the room full of horrified Black & Blues who were starting to grow angry in unison. He squeezed Atale tighter, the anguish and thrashing at his arm did nothing to deter him. Lictam gritted his teeth, throwing Atale back crashing into the counter behind her and cumbling to a coughing heap on the ground. Her gasps for breath were the only sound for a few more seconds. I took one step towards Atale and Lictam shifted his gaze at me immediately.

"Now, now," continued Hayden calmly, "let her attend to the wounded," he gestured with his hand for me to continue towards Atale. I gulped and ran over to her. Pulling some napkins from a bin and clutching her gently to lean against me while trying to get her nose to stop bleeding. She was still fitfully coughing. I tried to calm her down with gentle touches and a tight embrace.

"Forgiven!" Lictam shouted, "but this one," he motioned towards Atale's mother, "she still goes over." Atale's cry was hoarse as she screamed inaudibly.

"Of course, we are all grateful for your, grace, this day," he bowed like Lictam was a Black & Red.

They stared at each other a moment longer before Lictam backed down, turning to leave as his other men dragged Atale's mother with them, her screams echoing until the door shut behind them. Atale clutched at my arms with a strength I didn't know she had. A few others came over to help console her. Hayden came over slowly now, putting a hand on my shoulder and nodding at me to help carry her. We both stood on either side of her, lifting her arms up over our shoulders. All her energy must have left her as she was almost a deadweight between us.