All Comments on 'As the Girl Turns'

First story of yours I hated...

The best in LW for quite a while. I was concerned for the first 3 pages, as it just seemed to be a slut wife story. I was happy to see the turnaround and completion.

Well done.

The dad was the absolute star of this one! Loved his character!

Gave this one a 4* and would have been 5 but for the fictional modesty regarding marital sex with the good husband.

She illustrates every slutty moment or tender lovemaking up until she meets "the one" and then leaves that blank when sex and sexual performance and satisfaction have been such an integral part of the story.

It isn't just morbid and erotic curiosity on my part, though they are motivators, I was truly needing to know how her past was going to affect her future relationship with Marcus. You covered the emotional impact well but there was absolutely things to overcome in the bedroom probably for both of them and not exploring how they navigated the very real situation your story built cost it a little.

Overall a very good one!

Nice change in perspective. Made her a very sympathetic, realistic character rather than the typical vapid cardboard cutout usual to hot wife stories.

I was ready to stop reading until I got to the drug part. At least that helped me through reasoning why someone written early on as a naive sweet girl turned slut/whore. And thank you for not saying Marcus has a BBC so now she gets great "Peter" sex again. That stereotype has been used fr too much in LW stories.

The sex exploration and build up was well presented. The change from innocence to hot wife was completed and explained through the drugs, the emotional swings, the money owed by the slime all husband, and brought to a great conclusion by Dad!! Well written and presented.

Your story descriptor, the 'turning a good wife into a hot wife' thing, almost deterred me from reading it. While having my doubts, I decided to trust y'all and read it because I've enjoyed your other stories. I ended up liking this one too, but I've gotta admit it was nip and tuck for a while there.

I reckon many who detest cuckolding stories as much as I (and I place 'hotwife' stories in that category even though many would disagree), gave you a low score without bothering to read it. Those who do enjoy cuckolding, however, while reading it first, probably gave you a low score because it didn't end with everyone declaring cuckolding to be the greatest thing since penicillin.

I thought it was well written, good characterization, and flowed smoothly. I still don't believe Ecstasy works the way so many stories here describe it, but you had Jane admit to participating even when she wasn't drugged, so at least she knew she was guilty too. Happy to see the husband and his friend pay a price for all of it, and I really enjoyed seeing her Dad respond as he did. Three cheers for Dad, right?

It would have been interesting to see how Jane responded and dealt with being monogamous now; whether there was ever any wistful thoughts about 'the old days' and would one man be enough? I suspect she'll be fine. Also happy to finally see a black man shown to have high moral standards and demanding monogamy from his wife. Everything considered, I gave you a 5 to help bring the score up to where it should be. Well done. Thanks for posting.

I liked the story overall with a few qualms. Kudos to BillandKate for methodically showing how the main character's arc ever so gradually goes from conventional even prim end of the spectrum to duped but ostensibly willing party girl/hotwife.

I thought, however, the characters of Will and Dan suffered from bad guy overkill when they were revealed to have aspirations of becoming pay for porn tycoons which was the reason they surreptitiously drugged and recorded scores of unwitting women in the thrall of ecstasy. Porn is largely free these days to anyone with the internet, with exception of severe kink and fetish beyond scope of this story.

The depraved two-some could have done all their reprehensible actions because they were addled and addicted to this mode of leveraged 'sefuction ' like Bill Cosby. The ploy of Jane repeatedly being duped that she was drugged also strained credulity.

I did like the two year interim between Jane’s divorce and rebound with Marcus. She definitely needed time to reassess and reset values. The scenes where she confesses both to parents and Marcus of her walk(s) on the wild side were also very well-conceived and executed.

Ergo the obvious score

Full marks *****

Interesting the beginning of the story had a lot of grammar issues which is typically not an issue for you guys. For some reason it seemed to clear up after the first page (maybe even before that).

I didn't have a problem with Jake introducing her to more adventurous sexual behavior, as long as he did it without drugs. He seemed to have loved her. Obviously, once the drugs came into the picture and the colluding with Dan about the porn site that threw everything out the window. My kink was definitely not including other men, but BDSM and maybe other women now and again, and most of the women seemed to take to the BDSM like fish to water. I know some did it more to please me and keep me around than really getting into it as much as they pretended. So I guess that would have been similar to Jane in this story.

My definition of a slut is a woman that hasn't slept with me (well at least one I would want to sleep with). A woman enjoying having sex with handsome, well-endowed, skilled men that her husband throws her at is hardly a slut. Is she not supposed to enjoy it? Is a woman supposed to only physically respond to her husband somehow?

I've made the point before that your characters tend to be less fleshed out and not as much emotions displayed, but this one seemed to have more than any one of yours that I can remember. Still not your strong suit, but you guys tell really good stories. Five stars.

This has elements of all the LW stories that score highly.

1. Likable MC who has a past lover who they were dumped by and who had wronged them leaving them for someone else and they had to watch that someone else displayed in front of them.

2. MC is manipulated throughout their relationship and marriage and cheated upon and forced to do things they didn't like.

3. MC is able to overcome their mate (with the help of an outsider), and exact BTB, getting justice.

4. The MC gets a happy ending with a new loving mate that is true to them.

So why is this not scored in the mid-4's like the typical B&K stories with that same exact formula? I keep scratching my head and can't seem to find what element is different. There must be something right?

Couldn't get past the first page. Jake is such an ass, if she ends up cheating on him he deserves it.

Hot wife, cuckold, it's all the same. In the past I've enjoyed your stories but this just might make me swear off of reading any more. Since I"m not going to read your story, my vote won't count so I won't bother.

Superman dad saves daughter from his married daughter being used for sexual exploration. A niece girl married to early with no self esteem . A husband making her a slut thru drugs and manipulating her. So a friend from the past comes to her rescue. Her father turns superhero. Not many men could do that ,maybe a cop or authoritarian type individual . Great story telling as usual from bill & Kate .but I didn’t care for the ending.

White man bad, black man good is bullshit. Put this in IR where it belongs.

The answer to your question regarding the score seems fairly obvious.

The description leads one to believe this is a cuckold story. People who don't like those stories are more likely to skip it unless they are devoted fans of Bill and Kate. People who DO like those stories probably scored it low, since it isn't one.

Thus, the lower than expected score compared to the quality of the story.

As for me, I like Bill and Kate, but not enough to read a cuckold story, so I read the comments first.

@BillandKate

Thanks for the story.

Cog

I stopped reading when she apologized to her asshole husband for being a decent normal woman. Then was on her way to becoming just another slut. I wonder how many readers and ratings you lost at that point in the story.

Thanks for the effort and the outcome. Kind of a cheap side issue about race. What difference did it make to the story and the resulting romance what races the characters were? Kind of distracted from the romance and the embracing of a normal monogamous marriage.

Thanks for the effort.

I enjoyed the writing and appreciate the treatment of racial stereotypes. I’d like to say Jake was a little two dimensional, but I met a man like him once - a supposedly decent guy who gleefully passed around porno pics of his unwitting wife. I was stunned at the betrayal of a very sweet and kind woman. People like Jake really do exist beyond fantasy erotica. Thanks

Kudos to you BillandKate 👏👏🙂.

A different twist on a loving wife. That's the way to stretch your writing.

An interesting story. Very creative plot.

Your protagonist was sleeping with many men, besides her husband. Yet impressed with her vulnerability. She is a very sympathetic MC.

Very good story BillandKate. Gave it 4*s.

Thank you. You keep me

AMerryman

The weak point: Crimes: drugging women, raping them, then blackmailing them for more sex under drugs...the DA had all the evidences they needed and even so they had accepted a deal for only four years? And the husband only one? Unless drug a woman to have sex with her wasn't considered rape and just a minor demeanor...with this sentence as soon as they are out they will resume their "soft" crimes...2*

Although like the previous Anon I felt the story could

have ended more successfully without the mini diatribe on race being thrown in. Seemed like an unnecessary tangent at the end that distracted from an otherwise interesting story.

I gave it 4* glad I jumped to the end. It made me go back and finish. Jane was becoming thoroughly unlikable and weak. If Marcus hadn't come to her, would it have ever ended? Liked the Father: he instantly wondered why she was acting so UNLIKE herself. Made him lean towards drugs rather than her being a slut.

Unbelievable behavior by Jake rendered believable by the high quality writing.

Thank you for the story. It is well written and different from the usual stories posted here. I enjoyed it.

Thanks for making the minority characters regular solid Americans. Muchas Gracias.

beginning of your posts. Not crazy you had to bring miscegenation into the story, but that is the way of things today.

Always enjoy seeing BillandKate post a new story. The journey from housewife to shared wife was interesting. But the journey from shared wife to divorced wife is what caught my attention.

The conversation/confession with her new guy about her past would have been tough, but she had to do it.

She found someone she really likes, but has this problem where eventually he would find out about her past. That's a whole other story itself.

The story of a woman full of regrets for past indiscretions and the journey to repair her reputation in pursuit of a finding her, 'happily ever after '.

Thanks for sharing. *****

Good well written as usual with interesting characters created. I believe Jake character was a little over the top but it is fiction. I liked how you got Jane out of the coerced lifestyle. Jane’s father was an interesting minor character I doubt he would get off criminally with his behavior but again it is an interesting fictional writing scenario. I liked your portrayal of race relations because I have heard of prejudiced / racist black people (one story I was given was within a family because she was lighter skinned then her siblings she was ‘not black enough’ and was ridiculed).

Overall well written and worth the reading time.

Please keep writing and I will keep reading.

What a wide range of emotions! Janes sexual scenarios were provocative. Her shame afterwards evoked a sympathetic feeling. The authors have done a wonderful job of conveying these emotions. She wanted desperately to please her husband even to the point of self degradation. I loved how it ended. For me this earned a 5 Star Rating and a Favorite. Thanks to BillandKate.

Good story as always from B&K. Not my favorite for many reasons, but so far above most recent posts as to be a must read.

Unique approach as always and a much different turn that would normally be expected in LW. Mix that in with intelligent writing and it’s a sure win.

And women who fall in love with their "bulls" are asking for it. What kind of man engages in any aspect of this supposed lifestyle. Its just completely fked

Your usual good work. You did a credible job of writing a tough narrative.

the excuse of love. It is too easily released from its own responsibility.. thanks for the story.

I like Dad! We need more characters like him.

About the worst of your stories. I'll not read any more of yours.

Nice story, but..too much sex but.. you got the point across of what an asshole her first husband was and the ending was wonderfull. Thanks for a good story. Oh and to the guys comment "I'll not read any more of your stories", well he shouldn't have read this one, no ones forcing you, dummy!

Well, at least a terrible tale finished with a great ending.

High quality tale!

A great story. She was niave and fell for his lies. Love clouded her innocent mind and the drugs didn't help. I'm glad she escaped, with the help of her father and met a good man

Damn good writing and tale, keep them coming

I didn't think I would like it but well I always enjoy there writing.

Oh that had feelings in it, good story and so true that we do things for the ones we love and don’t see that maybe they don’t have quite the same feelings as us? I thought that the characters were quite possible real, good one

Is there a rule on literotica that black men must always be named Marcus? Lol

You didn't devolve into the racist stereotypes though and go on and on about his dick size. I appreciate that.

we're all the same on the inside !!