Asexual 02: Part of Your Sexuality

She groaned, head rolling away from his and then pressing against his jaw.

He continued with maddening slowness until she whimpered and her hands flew to his thighs to grip and hold on hard, tension thrumming in her arms.

"I've heard of nipple orgasms," he whispered. "Can you?"

"I've never had enough patience!" she gasped. "Please!"

"Oooh, this is new. Please what?"

She whined. "You bastard, please pick up the wand!"

"You wouldn't rather I teased you for longer?" he whispered, his voice even lower.

"No! I'd rather you held me down and made me come until I was speaking in tongues!"

He relented, one hand crossing her chest to toy with the opposite nipple, his arm holding her against him, while he picked up her wand.

He had to hold it up to check the switches before he turned it on.

Christina stared at it with a mixture of hunger and desperate hope. Just the sound it made when turned on made her eyes cross.

"We haven't talked about what settings you like this on," he murmured as he ran it lightly over her thigh before sliding it slowly towards her crotch. She almost bucked as she tried to push her groin towards its rumbling head.

"All the way up is fine! Ooooooh!"

Markus grinned. He had it set in the middle. He did not adjust it as he ran it up and down Christina's vulva, from bottom to top and off onto her belly, then down again.

She was soon shaking with impending orgasm and came while he was still adjusting how far to move it.

He held the wand away from her until her shaking stopped.

Then, as she was taking a shaky breath, pressed it back against her.

"Oh, YES!" she shouted.

It took her barely any time to come again. This time he switched the wand off and tossed it to one side so he could hold her tightly with both arms.

After a while, her arms rose to fold over his and lace her fingers through his.

She pulled his arms tighter around her while letting out a shaky breath. "Hoo, boy."

"That wasn't too quick?" he asked.

She laughed. "Oh, no! A quickie was what I needed! Oh, thank you for that. Thank you for twice! Man, that was what the doctor ordered."

"You like having your breasts played with?"

"Oh, hell, yes! You could have kept going while I was coming down, you really could. That feels really sweet."

"Hmmm, I'll remember that. Anything else?"

"You can pinch my nipples harder when I'm about to come."

"Noted."

She groaned. "Fuck, I'm hungry."

She tried to move but needed his help at first, her limbs floppy. "Fuck!"

She managed to flop onto the bed and get her elbows underneath her, grinning up at him through a curtain of hair.

With an effort, she reached out to stroke his flaccid cock. "If I ever needed proof you're really asexual."

He repositioned himself so he could kiss her, his hand stroking her back so she purred into his mouth. "Dinner?"

"Hang on, let me check if I can stand up."

They retrieved their various clothes. Christina had a salad mostly made. She pan-fried a couple of salmon fillets while wearing an apron that, to Markus's considerable surprise, had no dirty writing or pictures on it.

They went to sleep spooning, Christina holding Markus's upper arm between her breasts.

#

In the morning, Markus woke up first. Christina's long habit of sleeping with horny men woke her up almost immediately. She was reaching for him before she was fully awake.

"Do you want to stay in bed a little longer?" Markus asked after a blissful timeless moment cuddling.

"Mmm, my hero. Yes, please," she whispered back between kisses.

Markus gently disengaged. Christina purred as she watched him walk away, rolling to keep him in sight, her arms under the doona.

He paused in the doorway. "Come for me," he said in a throaty voice.

"Mmmm, yes, Master!"

They spent the morning at markets and had lunch out.

Back home, they showered separately, put on shorts and T-shirts and took coffees and books onto the back deck.

It was an hour and several chapters later when Christina put down her book, stretched and groaned happily.

"I know that sound," Markus said without looking up from his page.

"Hmmm?" Christina said, turning to give him a hungrily lazy look.

Markus glanced up briefly. "I know that look too."

Christina rolled towards him in her lounger. "Want a massage? Backrub? Scalp massage? Then I'll leave you alone for, ooh, 10 minutes. Promise."

Markus looked up at her, keeping his expression plain, and studied her long enough for Christina to look disconcerted.

He waited until her expression changed before looking back down at his book. He carefully inserted his bookmark, closed the book, set it on the table. "I've got something for you," he said, standing up. "Wait here."

"Oh?" Christina stared at him, surprised.

He came back in seconds, carrying a plastic bag.

Christina sat bolt upright.

"Got something to say first," he said, sitting down and stashing the bag behind him.

Christina looked like she was expecting a proposal and didn't know whether to run or scream.

Markus relented. "It's all good, I promise. So, I realised something, and it's because you're wonderful. No, I've not just unexpectedly discovered my sexuality. I... enjoy playing with you."

He gestured, outlining "let's break this up into smaller pieces" without saying so.

"You know I like making my lovers happy, so I learned about sex and I'm happy to have sex if it means I make you feel good."

Christina nodded vigorously.

"But, the thing is, I never really had a chance to explore that part of myself. My former girlfriends were... not good partners. They either couldn't cope with the fact I wasn't sexually attracted to them, and we didn't last, or they demanded I pleasure them and had their orgasms but didn't think it was enough and frankly, they pissed me off with their attitude, and we didn't last. None of them were anywhere near as open and honest about sex as you are."

Christina looked smug, while still not sure where this was going.

"You have an amazingly healthy attitude. It's one thing I love about you. Nobody else was prepared to say 'well, OK then, I'll just masturbate', and nobody else accepted me and asexuality and stopped questioning it. You're the only person I know outside of deep queer culture who has accepted it and understood it. Which is amazing, because you're the most cis person I've ever been able to be friends with."

Christina looked completely blind-sided. "Thank you? I try to understand. I... Fuck you for almost making me say 'I've got gay friends'. You know my friends."

Markus grinned wickedly. "Almost! But no, look: You're the first girlfriend I've had who I thought I was free to explore any part of my sexual expression with without so much pressure and without giving me the feeling I was having to make up for being deficient. I don't mind playing with a lover, and I got over the whole socially indoctrinated weirdness over genitals pretty quickly and I learned a technique that seemed to be pretty reliable, but with every girlfriend, I was always left feeling I was there to give them an orgasm and that was my duty done. It's not like that with you."

Christina looked confused. "Thank you?"

"That first night," Markus continued. "When you were so overtly sexual but recognised that I wasn't interested and would have boundaries, but were happy to express your own desire for me — I felt for the first time that I wanted to make someone come for the sake of making them come. Maybe I also just cared for you more than for anyone else. But that was the closest I've ever come to having sexual urges. And I got real pleasure when you came and I felt it around my fingers."

Christina, who was unshockable and unshameable, blushed slightly.

"And I've been thinking about that. And I've settled on just what my interaction with sexuality is, which I hadn't realised was missing. So thank you, I really mean it."

Christina smiled self-consciously but still looked confused. "I'm really glad, except you're going to make me blush," — he did not point out she already was — "but I know you didn't get an erection when I was lying against you, so I'm still, um..."

"This is not a break-up speech, stop worrying," he said. "No, I'm still asexual. If you, in the middle of an orgasm, couldn't give me sexual urges, absolutely nothing will. And no, I'm even more sure I'm not gay. But I loved giving you an orgasm. I loved playing with you and giving you pleasure. It wasn't a chore and it wasn't just satisfaction of a job well done. That, and the other times, and even giving you an order over Zoom, or this morning — it was the closest I've ever felt to sexual satisfaction. I can begin to see what you see in it. So..."

From the bag, Markus retrieved a box in silver wrapping paper with a bow on it.

Christina's eyes widened.

Markus pushed it across the table without saying anything more.

Christina looked like she wanted to tear it open, but she unwrapped it with the care of someone who grew up saving and reusing every scrap of wrapping paper.

The box inside proudly and unashamedly advertised a remote-controlled vibrator.

Christina stared at it.

"I'd like to be part of your sex life," Markus said.

"I'm going to cry," Christina said. "This is the first time I've been given a sex toy by a lover who genuinely wants to use it for my benefit."

"Well, it does make life easier for me," Markus murmured self-deprecatingly.

"Shut up!"

Christina threw herself into Markus's lap and kissed him, still clutching the box.

Markus hugged her tenderly, returning her kiss in kind.

"Does this need to be charged?" Christina asked when she could bear to pull her lips away.

"Have done," Markus said with a grin.

"And you've installed the app on your phone, then?"

"Of course."

She kissed him again. For quite a while, with a lot of tongue.

"You are going to spoil me for actual erections," she said next time she broke the kiss. "What would you like before we go and use this?"

He grinned up at her. "Foot massage?"

She kissed him, then went to fetch oil and a towel.

She made an exaggerated show of kneeling demurely in front of his recliner. She had put on a much tighter T-shirt, so her breasts looked almost cartoonishly good and her nipples were impossible to miss. Not because he enjoyed the sight, but because he appreciated the fact she dressed like that for him — a circular reasoning they both enjoyed.

But despite her joking, she took the massage as seriously as always, and Markus was lying bonelessly, groaning happily, before she was halfway through.

"You'll have to be careful walking," she said as she finished by rubbing his feet vigorously with a towel.

"That's OK," he said, a little distantly, still looking blissfully upwards.

He roused himself and grinned down at her. "Shall we go and see if we can't make your legs all wobbly as well?"

#

Christina stripped on the way to her bedroom, almost breaking into a run. Markus just strolled behind her, grinning at her enthusiasm as he opened the app on his phone.

"Alright, what do you want to do to me?" Christina asked, still grinning from ear to ear, as she threw back the doona and climbed onto the bed.

"Just for now, let's find out about the vibrator," Markus said.

Christina had an antique rococo armchair in one corner of her bedroom. She hardly ever used it, but she loved it and didn't have a better place to keep it. Markus sat down, facing her from across the room.

"Aww, not going to join me?" Christina asked with a pout, but she couldn't keep up her disappointment for long. She was getting used to a sexual relationship that didn't need close contact for her pulse to quicken in his company.

She arranged the pillows into a recliner, as Markus had done the day before, and lay back, legs spread, presenting herself to him. "This OK?"

He smiled and nodded, letting her see his gaze roaming over her body. She fed off that, even if he didn't have sexual hunger in his eyes.

But he did admire her body. As he told her on their first date, he did not have sexual desire but he did have aesthetic appreciation, and nobody could live in this day and age society without understanding that Christina's body was exceptional.

She had no straight lines — everything was a curve, sweeping from her shoulders into her narrow waist and then out to her hips. Each leg swelled to a thigh suggesting muscularity and a calf with enough strength to hint at dancing. Her arms were the most slender part of her, but they had their own grace.

Her breasts, full and firm and lush, did not make Markus's mouth water but he still marvelled at them and derived pleasure from the trust and desire that made Christina want to reveal them to him. He followed their curves with his eyes as they fell slightly outwards to just fall wider than her ribcage, and as they swelled off her chest to rise in front of her. It amused him that he marvelled more at how complex the geometry describing her chest was than at her chest itself.

Her nipples, too, seemed perfect where they interrupted what would otherwise be smooth and featureless surfaces. The extent of their erection, as they thrust sharply, even incongruously, into the air fascinated him even more.

Her belly button interrupted the smooth concavity of her belly with the same aesthetic perfection, although her muscles were hinted at as she settled herself back onto the pillows.

Between her legs, the dark triangle of her trimmed pubic hair seemed an inspired artistic choice. The valley of her vulva the triangle pointed to seemed like the natural and inevitable conclusion of the silky stretches of belly and thighs that lead to it.

Markus well remembered his queasiness the first time he had encountered a vulva without sexual desire driving him. He had learned to touch without looking, and then to accept the physiology and look. The memories gave him an added appreciation for Christina's body.

Christina stretched. "I swear, I could never get tired of a man looking at me. Even when I don't know what you get out of it," she purred.

"Oh, I get out of it what any lover of beauty would," he said, smiling.

Christina purred again.

"Well?" she asked. "Want to command me, or want me to take the lead?"

Markus raised an eyebrow over a faint smile. "Would you like me to give you orders?"

Christina gave him a lazy grin. "Oh, I might like to try it. I don't think I've ever masturbated on command, before. I haven't had a boyfriend who didn't want to get hands-on every chance he could."

"Why don't you get yourself ready, then we'll open the box."

"Oh, I think you underestimate how ready I already am," Christina said.

But her finger trailed along the tops of her legs from knee to groin, as invitingly as they were stimulating, her movements driven as much by habit as intent. She tickled back out to her knee, then along her inner thighs, scraping lightly with her nails, sighing happily. At the last, she avoided her vulva, tracing instead the tendon between leg and groin before moving up her belly.

She wasted no time getting to her breasts, tracing their outlines much as Markus had. She followed his movements closely, moving from light, exploratory touches to feeling their weight, lifting them then squeezing then moving them around. Her eyes fluttered closed and her head rolled to one side, all attention off Markus as she relished the memory of the night before until she got to her nipples and the first squeeze made her eyes fly open and her concentration shatter.

She scrabbled for the box, pulling it apart and ripping the vibrator out. "How do you turn it on?" she demanded, turning it this way and that. "No, got it!"

Markus unlocked his phone and spread his attention between it and her as he waited for the Bluetooth to connect.

Christina looked up when she had the vibrator on, giving Markus a look that spoke of a barely-restrained desire to tear his clothes off with her teeth. "Take your shirt off?" she asked, her voice husky.

Markus obliged, moving lazily in the full knowledge of what his restraint was doing to her.

Christina watched, transfixed and hungry and unmoving, until Markus settled back into the chair bare-chested, when she sighed happily, one hand idly stroking a breast towards its erect nipple.

Markus smiled and silently gestured "go on" towards her.

Christina, grinning, slid two fingers inside her pussy, moved them around a few times, then smeared her slipperiness over the vibrator while cooing at it.

She slid it inside herself while keeping eye contact with Markus, moaning, biting her lips then sighing happily as it slid inside, spreading her vagina open.

When it was settled inside her, all Markus could see was a thin pink tail, incongruously tiny and ineffectual-looking, curving up and over to the top of Christina's vulva. The substantial egg of the vibrator's body was now held securely inside Christina, a thought that Markus realised should be erotic but which seemed almost disconcerting to him.

Christina grinned at him, with her legs and arms spread, feet and hands planted as firmly on the mattress as she could. Her breathing was now deeper. "Well?"

Markus made a show of holding up his phone and looking at the screen. "Well, now, let's see..."

His thumb moved over the screen.

Christina jumped, her eyes going wide. "Oh! Ooh, that's a good start!"

Markus grinned at her. "Nice?"

"Oh, yes!"

"Alright." His thumb moved again.

"Mmm, yes, more of that, please!" Christina's eyelids fluttered as her focus on Markus slipped.

Markus's thumb moved again.

"Aaah!" Christina arched backwards. "Oh, Now we're getting somewhere!" Her hands curled into the sheet and her knees swayed as her hips twitched.

Markus was looking at Christina with a combination of pleasure and scientific curiosity. An expression that contained relief his present worked but also quite plainly said, impishly, "what does this button do?"

His thumb moved again.

Christina's hips lifted briefly off the bed. "Yes, that hits the spot!" she said. "How high does it go?"

Markus's thumb moved down, letting Christina subside. "Shall we find out?"

She stared at him. "Why aren't you..."

She had no warning before his thumb moved.

"AAAAAH! Oh fuck, yes! Oh, yes!"

Markus still looked at her like an intrigued biologist watching a curious animal as much as like a man who loved his partner, but there was an added light of fascination in his eyes now.

He experimentally moved his thumb up and down, trying to be random in how far he moved each time. Christina responded as if the remote was connected to her nervous system directly, her hips almost echoing the movements of his thumb as she struggled but failed to hold herself still.

"O-oh! Oh, boy, I cou-could like this! Oh, this is — ah! — weird, bu... Ah!"

It did not take her long to start begging.

It took even less time after that for "Oh please, oh fuck, please..." to turn into "Oh God, you bastard, please!"

Markus slid his thumb slowly up the screen and held it there until Christina arched between knees and hands, shook for several seconds, then collapsed back.

Then he let the vibrator fall silent until her breathing began to calm down.

"Wow!" she eventually said, lifting her head to look down at the pink tail of the vibrator curving up out of her vulva. "I was not expecting that to work so well, but it's powerful! Good choice!"

"So, what's the difference between this and your wand?" Markus asked, letting his phone dangle lightly in his hand.

Christina lay back and stretched, without moving to take out the vibrator. "Ah, well, grasshopper, so there are three categories of vibrators: Internal, clitoral and big. Let's ignore anal for now. Big fat wands are my favourite and they're favourite with most women I've ever met. They stimulate EVERYTHING. Clit, lips, my vulva some way inside. They're just so satisfying and EFFECTIVE. Clit vibrators are super effective because the clit... OK, the clit isn't just this nub, in case you didn't know, it's a lot internal, but anyway. A vibrator on just the tip is really effective, and some women can't come without clitoral stimulation, but it's not really satisfying. I need more stimulation. Being cuddled and just the clit is nice, but for a satisfying orgasm for the sake of an orgasm, I always use my fingers or a dildo or something as well. A man using fingers and tongue is glorious. Fingers and vibrator — fantastic. Cock and vibrator, I see heaven. But just the clit feels kind of empty after I come.