All Comments on 'Ass Chronicles Ch. 01'

Keep working on your story.

So is it Danielle or Chastity Rose?

Hope it Harem and his women is only loyal to him not interested any other person

But if Joel doesn't get her pussy while she offers herself on all fours I'll be sorely disappointed. Big ass, voluptuous moms FTW, keep going!

A good story has a setup, transition, and a payoff. The setup was okay on his part, but there was no seduction. The transition started interestingly but then leapt forward at such a pace to make it ludicrous.

This would have been much more erotic if his mother had given lots of little hints along the way. For example, she always left her panties at the top of the laundry basket before asking him to do the laundry. As it was, we knew nothing of her character and thus there was nothing erotic. Take your time and build the story with plenty of sexual tension.

Sorry for the negative critique, but I hope it helps with the next chapter.

Sain koroona ajal oma ema ka nikkuda.Võtsime kodus veini ning siis läks suudlemiseks.Mõne ajapärast lükkasin oma käe ema jalgevahele mis kohe avanesid.See oli imeline.