All Comments on 'Asshole Ch. 01'

from a homo and he freaks out? Holy Fuck! Then she's totally pissed at him for years and the mere mention of his name sends her into a rage...but the moment she thinks he's dead, she comes unglued? WTF?!?!

They are better off without each other.

Don't be discouraged by nit-pickers. This is a good start on a first story. Interesting plot. What the previous Anonymous mocked, I found intriguing. It will be an interesting challenge for you to show how all those things make sense in the sequel(s).

To quote you just trying to make sense of it all and not having anyluck.

but I'll wait to see.

There is something more going on then we see. Why was he so agatated during the week and then he comes home to find a guy-gay or not playing with his wifes legs.

so the husband is having a bad day ..comes home early sees a guy he KNOWS is gay giving his wife a foot massage.

He freaks out???? tears of his wedding ring and runa ways

for 6 years...? a new low in stupid

But Im curious and impatient so keep it coming quickly if you dont mind!!

TJ

This is the beginning to what might well be a good story, but it is a bit short and ends rather abruptly. It has potential, but we'll see what develops.

Anyone can start a mystery if you are only going to write a few paragraphs. You have given us so little that there is no opinion worth forming. A few words does not a story make, nor a chapter.

...partially regurgitated inferences, annoying in their proliferation and contrived vagueness. The first detail concerns an irrelevant plot device, and nothing has happened by the (short) time it screeches to an odd halt. Put down the pipe ye who won't answer that question and rearrange your outline.

the story to this point was well written, BUT you posed so many questions while answering none. Further details had better provide some good reasons for the mysteries. I try to understand the significance of the fact of the woman's religion and ethnicity to the story, but not knowing if the husband was Jewish also makes this problematic. I voted a five because you certainly caught my attention. Please let the next chapter be worthy.....

but I know several 'homo's' who would gladly dip their wicks into a soft juicy pussy if the conditions are right. I've seen it happen for fucks sake. Sorry, but if I see my wife getting such treatment, and her response to me was the same here, I too would hit the fucking roof. Wouldn't run away though...

I agree with the comment about gay men fucking a pussy. It DOES happen. But in this case if my wife gave me any kind of disrespect and didn't truly understand why I was upset then I would divorce her in a second. Once the communication stops that's the time to end a marriage. The fact that the husband ran away is just stupid and after six years why isn't the wife out fucking someone else? I don't know the law exactly but after a certain time but can't a husband or wife declare a marriage over due to the other person abandoning them? Six years seems a long time to sit around and hope a spineless wimp husband would come home.

But I will read the next installment and hope for the best.

I felt like the outline of the start of the story. There is just too little here. We know almsot nothing about any of the characters. harry complained about some of the actions, but my biggest issue with them is that there is no context surrounding them. Its just a few actios and a possible discovery of a body.

Is it worth reading more? Perhaps, if the next chapter is longer and actually starts filling in the incomplete information.

Is it good? Who can say, there isn't enough here. Itls like picking up a great Arthur Conan Doyle book and reading half of the first page. We'll dicover if its good or not when we see mroe.

I'm in for the duration (and I'll bet Harry is too).

Write On! Please do!

Eagerly awaiting your next installment!

...Good writing, now write some stories about Becky's secret trip and her job as the poolside erotic masseuse the African nudist swingers cruise trip..Becky is popular and averages 20 half hour "sessions" per day..& she is live on the internet 24/7..Becky loves mounting the huge horse-size hung Nigerian basketball players ,,what fun ,, Looking forward to Becky's exciting "massage" stories ,,Thanks ,,,,,,:::::::,,,,,,

A good start and a little on the mysterious side. 6 years is a long time to be gone, and a lot can change in that time frame.

Thanks for the start.

They waited six years to compare notes? 3 stars.

The copious flow of snot is a little much for me. The story beginning is not long enough to develope the characters enough to peak my interest. If you write more I will probably read it but I will not be waiting breathlessly for it to continue.

I agree that its kind of suspect that they took 6 years to compare notes, but overall its a good start and has my interest.

Sorry for the brevity - I tapped this first part out on a droid sitting on a plane. It seemed longer at the time.

I'm incorporating the advice from the comments in the next chapter. Its done to the end in my head, but your comments are helpful so maybe I can pick up a better flow.

""I suppose its my turn now to help fill in some of this blind spots? "

So he has been missing for six years and this is the first time her "friend" is going to fill her in on the rest of the story?