All Comments on 'Astra Pt. 04'

Thank you so much for your submission! I also thank you for identifying the characters in their dialogues. It makes the story flow so much smoother!

You Rock!!!

Good concept, loved the idea of the uber powerful aliens who would "lift up" humans by granting them psi capabilities. Also, interesting way to keep the bad guys "hidden" on Earth as they leave the system. However, ES, you left a huge plot hole here - you had Adm Gonzalez call her cohorts to alert them of Jack's intention. If I had just told someone my plans and had the ability to hack her conversations, I would have. Astra would have been on top of that communication, and Jack would have lopped the head off the extremists. Still, an overall good story, but that loophole left me flat.

Astra is 'capable' of getting into the systems. She generally only does it when ordered or when someone is threatening Jack. She has her internal systems that never found Gonzalas to be a threat--from history. Gonzalas is the unknown player from the past that cooled relations with aliens. From history, she bowed to the will of the people. In actuality, it was just a part of her plan to unite the people to get into office. The common goal/threat.