All Comments on 'At Long Last'

A very sensual story about two friends coming together. Very well written,

Jack and Jane are hooked! Give Jack a bit of sexy chest hair for that manly chest. That sexy chest hair and perhaps hair on his abs can stimulate her breasts and tummy! His cock seems to really excite her response! Give them both the whole sexy package, and let them stay together -- married even -- for the sake of their babies (plural)!

Great and delightful

I can't wait for the sequel about the pregnancy!

You have the romance part down, but there are more than a few simple editing errors.

There's a very simple thing you can do to eliminate the bulk of this sort of error.

Read your story out loud. It slows down your mind and forces you to concentrate on what's on the page before you rather than what you meant to write. That's it, simple, but very effective.

This technique also works well with wrong word spelled correctly errors that spellcheck won't find, but I didn't notice any of those.

*** for execution and ***** for story telling yields a

****

This effort had great potential but came up a bit short. There were a significant number of grammar errors that prevented the prose from flowing comfortably. In some spots it was repetitive. There was at least one continuity error. And one or two incorrectly selected words, vice instead of vise was one that stood out. The story would have benefited from a reread and edit. Or maybe an editor.

Sequel!!!!

Well done and your score reflects that, not many writers get past the 4.5 mark and you're well past that. Like the different approach of how two great platonic friends can suddenly get past the stop sign. The mistakes didn't worry me really, well paced and the price is right!

KnightRadiant knows how to write a sex scene.

And not just fucking,

but with the connections, feelings, and emotions of two friends

that make fucking so much more than fucking.

Paul in Oklahoma

Great read needs another couple of parts in romance about there being together.

I gave it a three out of five stars! The romance was decent and the build up ok! I think as others pointed out you had some grammatical errors. But it was a decent read! I can see you getting better with your craft as you continue to write and create! Thank you for sharing your characters and writing with us!

5 stars!! 😍

Very Romantique!

11/10!!!!!

Nice premise of life long friends realizing they belong together.; but Jane and Jack were presented as responsible intelligent serious people. The story needed another page discussing a baby to prevent the story from being a seduction that happened only because of Jane's biological clock.

Also, there were some continuity errors. Early in story, Jack lifts weights twice a week and does boxing drills once a week. Later the boxing drills become a day of running. Doesn't ruin the story but a real mistake. Others have mentioned grammar and word choice

Overall, a nice enjoyable story.

Fun story, hot. Few grammatical and editing issues.

Whew! so hot...!

I overlook minor errors easily given how scorching their first time is, with ten years experience already behind them...very likable characters, great dialogue...easy five and fave.

Great story. Couldn't help but notice continuity errors such as Jack's workout routine and Jane dropping her thong in the second to last paragraph of the first page and then hooking her thumbs in them in the next paragraph. Others have pointed out the word errors. Despite all that, I've read and enjoyed this story many times.