All Comments on 'At the End of the Tour'

So close to five stars!!!! You were getting me towards the end good story.

That's some anger right there!

Wow. Great ending line. The story deserves 5 stars for that line alone!

I don’t usually like over the top btb stories with excessive cruelty, so when I give this 5 stars it’s not because I'm a rabid revenge freak, but rather because the writing was top notch and deserved it. The prose was clear, the grammar and spelling way above average, and the story and characters engaging. So kudos for readability and believability.

Wow! he really let loose the hounds of war. Of course he’ll spend years in jail and be sued for every penny he’ll ever make, but damn that had to feel good! Stupid! But satisfying.

Kept thinking you were going to go all cucky and have him agree to share, but no! Thanks for that!

You continue to impress me with your writing. Well written and very entertaining. Well done. 5 *****

Outstanding writing and a great plot. I presume you are a professional writer. In any event, you are a real asset to all who enjoy the genre.

Great story well written im torn by the ending... i was happy with the way the story ended but i was kinda hoping for a reconciliation so probably wait until the baby is born see who the father is ...hopefully a part 2

Damn, I'm speechless, or whatever the written version of that is. This is better than excellent. Tennessee Williams' ghost is smiling like the Cheshire cat over the twists and turns through the dark and dappled forest! Stop giving this stuff away to people whose only literary criteria is whether it's "cuck shit/not cuck shit". The head feint from Don's words on forgive but with accountability to crushing the hand of a manipulator (an etymology metaphor) is a master stroke! Damn, every word was perfect. 5++++++++++++++/5

I think the fucklechucks who didn't like the ending have never read a tragedy or recall the "anti-hero" endings so popular in fiction and film over the past 60-years. Yeah, when your expectations are set by Batman Part XLVII or Fast Y Furious 18...

Very good complete story. Thank you. Why is everyone obsessed with extra chapters with your work, can't get enough of a good thing perhaps...take it as a compliment. You're becoming quite rightly popular for a new (ish) author😁

This is my life right now. It's really ironic reading this the same instant it's happening to me. I do not know how to react. I'm numb and my hands are weak so I totally understand how this guy is feeling.

Awesome story. Similar to Inkhorn’s “Rebirth.” In that story, the betrayers were selfish but not necessarily evil. Characters here are more than selfish…they’re evil personified. Smashing Derek’s fingers was a master stroke, although I’m sure Tim would end up getting arrested and then sued.

“But I let it get to that point. I should have let you know I was meeting him in the first place.”

Even when she tried to confess, she couldn’t get it right. Meeting him was NOT the first act of cheating. She shouldn’t have been in contact with another man about anything personal, ESPECIALLY an ex boyfriend!

ZK

Well written. Complex believable characters. Disappointing and (to my mind unnecessary at the end) violence.

Well done.

Forget the pressure for another chapter or epilogue. A good story ends where it ends. If it leaves your audience wanting more, you have done your job.

I would like to see a part two. Excellent story I want to see more

5stars.

Such a good story, and such a satisfying ending. You hit all the points--Tim's internal struggle, Don's explanation of forgiveness, Ellie's willingness to lie about her child (if she could), douchebag ponytail boy's entire personality...

The characters all feel real and pretty much fully formed--a true rarity! I can understand why so many people want a sequel, but there isn't really anywhere to go from here. Realistically speaking, he's looking at jail time and a fairly tumultuous divorce, even ignoring the potential parentage of Ellie's kid. You could go unrealistic and try to eke out a cheery ending, but it'd be a stretch. Best case, he does relatively easy time because he can take care of himself and because his story is inspirational.

That said, it'd be nice to see more of Don. He's a good character who acted responsibly and ended up in limbo. Maybe give him a happy ending?

I do think she's the one who deserved the beating, not him, though he manipulated her. Can't blame him though when he saw his cheating wife.

Don is her father, but it's not his business to say who manhandled who in 2022. No woman has the right to touch a man either, and obviously not slapping him after SHE cheated would be common sense. She would've manipulated him with the 'why did you make me hit you' rubbish if he hadn't made his intentions clear by throwing her out. She lost any right to being treated nicely then.

His later statement is totally on point about her turning into her mum, more effective than the 'manhandling'. I'm sure there will be some who say 'that's too harsh' - OK then, feel free to raise another guy's kid. He didn't know it earlier and used that info to hurt her like she hurt him - sounds equally harsh for once.

5 stars. Needs to be a part 2

You've become my favourite LW author with your amazing stories. From now on I am your NUMBER ONE FAN.

Please keep going. And please write a sequel to this story. It's wonderful!

That last line was chilling. Exceptional twist at the end. It elicited a Muahhahaha out of me. Great place to end it. Cliff hanger. Id still would enjoy reading a CH 2. I've enjoyed your work so far,and am looking forward to reading your next submissions.

"because there was too much of her mother in her." - And possibly nothing of her father, except his upbringing.

\

@MaresEatOats, I don't remember the place, but weren't the tests for STDs?

Well done Maestro! This might be the most appropriate BTB on Literotica. Derek ruined what the MC loved and had the favour returned to him. With any luck it was the fretboard hand that got mangled. At any rate it looks like Derek won't be needing 37/100 any more. With any luck it was the fretboard hand that got mangled. Maybe he can move on to the Theremin where he won't be so hindered by stiff fingers. Throwing the twenties at Ellie and telling her to go follow her mother's example is the ultimate cold and perfect way to express utter contempt! This really is a story that will be remembered. Thank you for sharing your talent. 5 stars well deserved!

Least he responded like a real man, wheres pt. 2? I bloody liked it.

Oh to ha e a muse and unable to play for it........such a waste! NOT!!!

Derek is lucky he still gets to breathe. As for the cunt.......good riddance you nasty whore.

I really thought you were going to fuck it up. You got me. Stuck the landing like a pro. Specfuckingtacular.

Top notch. The story of the month for sure. The raw and visceral emotion was palpable.

5*

Incredibly well done. I can sympathize but not empathize because my life has been so different. I fell in love and married a slut. I believe, but can't prove, she's cheated on me, but I've forgiven her and love her. Now that she is dying, I love her more. You are a great writer and storyteller. I look forward to reading more of your writing.

That was really good hope there is chapter 2. Need to know how this ends. Hate stories or movies that leave you hanging.

I agree....there needs to be a part 2

Great writing, kept my attention. The best always does. Can’t wait for a follow up or part 2, but I’d understand and respect your decision should this be the complete & final story.

As a major live music fan I can see this as a reality. That a musician would have done exactly this!

Very interesting. I enjoyed it until the last part. So he's going to gaol. She's a pregnant mess. All happy now are we?

Awesome.

Although it seems to be set up for a part 2, it is not really needed. This story is or should be in the top five absolute best stories on this site. It conveyed the pain and anguish to the letter but also the rational thoughts as the MC worked through the pain, how the daughter was becoming the mother. The baby is now a moot point. Asshole will have to step forward now regardless of parentage. MC may have to fork over child support or even take charge of the baby if mommy takes the drug route but he will no longer tolerate the mother. Hell of a story.

Author, don’t live up to your handle. FTDS!

A very real story to myself. I know two people who fit the profile of Ellie and Dereck. She is a classic borderline and he is a classic narcissist. Their mutual attraction is both irresistible and completely destructive. So sad.

Great story and ending! No need for chapter 2. Please publish more.

Surround yourself with evil, eventually, you will succumb. Great story of awful circumstances and flawed characters...just like real life. Perhaps, it is time to drop the "No" from the name.

So was the kid his or not? He got tested, what happened with that?

I thought I'd try another, in case you'd gotten better after your first effort. Nope. Your pen name still fits perfectly.

The ending was appropriate. Ignore all of the tree hugging pussies that are condemning you for smashing dickhead's fingers. He had it coming.

I was very disturbed when dad said go to Derek's place and lead her out. I came out of my shoes when she would only meet at Derek's. Your abrupt ending saved a 5 star rating. The story needs an epilog.

Very dark, exceptional story. 5

One of the best I’ve read here in a very long time! Really, very well done. Keep them coming

Obvious red meat, but I still liked it.

Write an end don't leave us wondering `

No talent? This is one of the best stories ever to appear in L.

This is a talented writer is talented but getting to the position to create the ending he wanted was unrealistic.

After his first talk with Derek Tim didn't need to meet with El nor to speak with her. There was really nothing to discuss and nothing more he needed to know. His eventual release of the bitterness didn't require that he tell her she was forgiven and there was certainly nothing anyone could say to give him reason to take her back.

As to meeting at Derek's place, if she felt unsafe (which on the outlined facts I don't think would be logical) El could easily have arranged a meeting at Don's place. If there could have been any reason in the world to meet with her, the mere fact that she was still in communication with Derek, much less wanting him in the meeting and to use him as protection from Tim, should have told Tim anything he wanted to know and ensured there was no meeting.

Agreeing to the meeting at Derek's place in which losing his temper and going to jail was a very unrealistic outcome seemed to me stupid on Tim's part and inconsistent with his character and intelligence.

good think he wasn't a singer.. stomping on his throat would have felt good.

Very well written, I felt his pain.

Who is the father of the child? Let it be Derek's so Tim can have a clean and total break.

Excellent story...it's nice once in a blue moon to read a story where the wronged husband has balls. That's a very rare thing on the LW site.

He served no time. The guitar was the sacrifice that sealed the deal.

Brilliant.

With your first story I never thought I would have to give you 5 stars but this one proved me wrong. Good work and thanks

I struggled initially with this story, but so many times a story lacks a quality ending. This one had a GREAT one! I wish I could read more just to see El suffer. Not because I’m masochistic but because the writer simply nailed how much like her mother she had become. I mean seriously! 6 years of cheating!

5*

Oh how I like how he got a huge set of balls at the end and saw through their charade. I only wish he woulda smashed all the guitars first. She was a grade A skank and he needed to get far away from her.

Great story, doesn't need any more details to "finish". I was pleased to see the couple did not end up together as the detail that was included about how she was always happiest when he was in town through the years was the marriage-killer for me. As described in the story, she could not have truly loved her husband more if she was always happiest when her lover was in town.

I enjoy your writing, and I particularly liked this story. You must have some stories lined up, since you have posted quite frequently over the past couple of weeks. I certainly look forward to more.

I was was hoping mc will bring the apple an the tree stuff, and you did not disappoint.

5 stars, but I think story such intense as this one needs a closure, so part two maybe?

No man who hopes to lead a reasonably happy life would marry a woman who is clearly carrying a torch for her first love who couid return at any time. Whiteone_redone's "Suspicion" is a LW classic that depicts how well that set of circumstances usually works out. Sadly, the husband in "Suspicion" did not know of his wife's long lost love until his nemesis had already returned and reclaimed the adulterous wife. In this story, Tim knew the entire history but foolishly chose to marry Ellie nonetheless. It is difficult to imagine how he expected some other outcome than the one that came to pass.

Doesn't need an epilogue

Perfect as is

Cheers for sharing

Brilliant!! Our Readers quest to find a husband with his balls still intact on this site is no complete. 5&FAV

What an ending!

5

Derek's still alive, but without his hand in working order he might as well be dead.

As for Ellie ""Why, Tim? How can you be so cruel?""

She heard exactly what she needed to.

Now all she needs is that overdose and her circle of life will be complete.

Yeah, FTDS. You’re a bit of a novice, so here’s some advice. First, you seem to assume that all your readers have intelligence and imagination…a rookie mistake. Second, if you’re going to create compelling characters, you are thereby committing to following them to their deaths in your story. So, inquiring minds want to know how Derek managed to earn a living going forward and whether or not he remained a Lothario in the nursing home. Whose child is Ellie carrying? And, if female, did she follow in the path of Ellie and Gloria? Finally, to show that all is right in the world, you need to tell your readers how the MC ended up with a beautiful, brainy, buxom…and younger…wife. Clearly, three pages are insufficient.

I will never understand why these sorts of stories are posted on Literotica. It's an erotic story website, not "bitter, pathetic man who can't hold onto his woman" website. It's like if someone created an OnlyFans and only streamed themselves reading the Bible and preaching the evils of masturbation.

Great read. Thoroughly enjoyed it!

I was afraid he was going to be soft and take her back and raise the child. SO GLAD I WAS WRONG. Great words, great action, great ending.

I say it is finished. In my mind he does not get charged for assault, the child is not his, and the ex has to work extra hours to support both the child and the out of work guitarist who has many extra ladies on the side and a few extra children as well.

A really sad story of people who make bad choices. He is going away for a long time. Breaking the hands? Deliberate; the State won’t let that go, even if he feels justified. He will have a lot of time to think about it while in prison. The sequel that would be worth reading is the five years later story between father and daughter. No heroes here; just devastation—so how do you pick up the pieces… realistically.

Great ending

best closing line, ever.

Ellie married a better version of a father... without realizing that she was a more civilized version of her awful mother.

A tale as old as time, really.

I get you may think that this is how this story should end, author, with your MC getting the last word and all, but, realistically speaking, Tim has done too much shit, during that last confrontation, to walk away scotch-free from it. Trashing the guitar or destroying Derek, one or the other, maybe he could get out of it; both of them together, though... 'sounds like someone will end up in jail for awhile. 'Probably should have gave us a proper epilogue here.

I still really like this story, though - sad as fuck, but highly realistic - there's way more Ellies out there quite willing to 'accidently' FUBAR good, decent guys then people care to admit. I kinda wish we could see Tim finding his way out of the feelings he obviously still have for her - he may have gotten the last words, but he's very much still in hell.

Other than that... one fine work. Thank you for the share.

Needs a finish ,you left to much in the air. Is the kid his, does she miscarriage ? ,get a abortion which makes sense since there is no man who will support her. Does she suicide? Really to much unfinished .

Great ending!!! 5/5

Great story!

Ellie's father Don was wrong. DNA does matter. In Ellie's case, Nature won out over Nurture. In truth, Don's example was not a "good" one. He allowed Gloria to treat him like shit and that's the example Ellie ended up following.

She cried out, "Why, Tim? How can you be so cruel?"

"You inspired me, Ellie. I guess you're my muse, too."

Truer words have been spoken. Hard to be a "muse" to a musician that'll never be able to play like he once did.

When women are cruel to men they're surprised when its returned in kind.

Tim will be arrested in the next couple days for assault and battery and for property damage. Then, regardless of the criminal action, Tim will face a major civil lawsuit, ending in bankruptcy. I hope that all the commentators that gave the story 5* have factored that into their rating. It would be particularly interesting closure if, after all that, the baby turns out to have been Tim's - sometimes these things happen.

Well, at least he didn’t fold over and let them continue to disrespect him. She had an unusual sense of being a wife. 4*.

WOW! Damn good story with just about the best ending on LIT i have ever read.

Thank You!

Great story. Realistic ending for someone who has been so wronged. I thought this was headed towards reconciliation, this ending felt much more satisfying.

Wow...probably the most emotionally raw works I have read hear on Literotica. Not a BTB in the typical Lit fashion, but the best revenge story I have read yet! Reall well done! 5*

This was good. Unlike that last story y ou did, this could use a followup chapter or two, to see how things work out going forward. Is the kid his? If so, how do they move forward? The way you wrote up the last page though, ellie really is despicable, not naive and innocent and all flower child free lovey. So its hard to give her a pass for her actions. Also, the lenght of the affair is very troublesome. So maybe it is best if you leave the tale where it is....

Among all the other things, if Ellie was hoping for a good outcome she woukd have met Tim at her Dad's with no Derek in sight. Tim wouldnt hurt her there and more importantly a MUCH more neutral site.

Absolutely loved it. Pretty intense and a great outcome . . . finally.

He can take the hickey for destruction of property. Other than that, he was attacked while leaving and defended himself. Bunch of pussy legal beagle wanna be’s

Awesome story!

As to whining about no sex in the story, if you need mental help pulling your pud, maybe you would be happier in the trans/sissy section

Very entertaining, with a good and appropriate ending, in my opinion. You don't need to follow your characters to their deaths. Each story is different.

I felt this was a five-star effort. Thanks for sharing.

Hooked

Fair warning potential readers. Not a story for snowflakes

It would be very interesting to read a follow up chapter, particularly regarding how Ellie moved forward after their encounter, and, of course, finding out whose baby it was and how they all reacted to the birth after it happened. Great story, great ending. Much appreciated. I like your writing style.

Need another chapter to finish. Who's baby is it? Will Tom be arrested? Will his wife confront the man she thought was her father?

You write a PG story for an X-rated site? Write for Disney or the Lifeline channel

I don’t know in the US but in my country it would be from six months to three years in prison.

Smart play

The name you write under is so very misleading. An enjoyable read from start to finish. A truly proper, reasonable, and believable finish

If Tim has no prior record, he'll be treated as a first offender. Several years of probation, a fine and a restraining order requiring him to stay away from Ellie and Derek.

Derek is a third-rate guitarist and wannabe songwriter who after six+ years has achieved backup performer status. The one time they heard him on the radio, it was probably a song that had someone else's name on the label. So even if Derek wants to sue Tim, he probably won't be able to find a very good attorney who'd be willing to do the work for 33% of whatever could be wrung out of Tim in court; there will be a settlement, and Tim isn't a millionaire or a highly-placed executive like a lot of LW MCs. He doesn't have all that much to lose, and compared to the loss of a six+ year marriage, maybe it'll be worth it to him.

As long as Ellie's baby doesn't turn out to be Tim's. That would probably be the worst thing that could happen to him.

5 Stars. I can't say it was a "Good" ending. It was well written, followed the emotional threads the author wove, and was clearly well thought out. I felt even worse for the protagonist, because shattering that narcissistic douche's hand might land him in jail. That being said, I can honestly say I might just have reacted in a very similar way.

truthandjustice99 is a democrat that thinks it okay to intrude in other peoples life without any consequences. What the idiot don't understand is that when the laws are lacking peoples are seeking justices for them self.

Wow! 5 stars from me

someoneother's comment comes off as pretty jealous and pety, as if the author couldn't write Tim getting out of any legal problem trought pure ingenuity or just take one page of good old saddletramp and put the guy in his own universe ruled by the law of cool, as if human imagination were limmited by the puny rules of men and there wasn't, in all of the human experience, any instance in wich someone could assault another and get away with it (good luck finding me in Alaska, bitch!)

Anyway, loved your story, you're pretty great at this and I hope to read more (sorry if a wrote something wrong, english ain't my first language and this is the first and I hope only time I ever leave a comment)

The storyline is very popular in LW. The execution of the storyline is amazingly good. This was well written, gripping and original.