All Comments on 'At the Waldorf'

Most everything I read in Loving Wives is so banal. I get a great sense of déjà vu reading one more story of wife submitting to a boss or becoming a cruel whore or husband burning the bitch and rescuing his family. But the last third of this story lifted it out of the commonplace. Congratulations on a story I haven't read before!

The characters and place awareness worked. The terse prose moved the story along. No mawkish drivel allowed!

Please find another original idea and let us have it!

R.

Very well done...what greater proof of atonement could she give? Very clever, and masterfully executed

Chilley

I enjoyed the story. It certainly took a few twists and turns to get to it's end. Don't believe that I have ever seen that type of reconciliation in LW before. Good on you for finding a new path. Asking her to go first to prove her love was perfect. Pretty clever fellow to set all that feigned insanity and suicide attempt to test her. He knew her well enough to know her resolve to get to him would allow her access. You had me fooled completely until she pulled the trigger. Great work. Tha clan a cheo' a' sireadh sith agus toileachas dhut anns na laithean aged uile.

Sg

The couple is a little crazy and better get counseling because they have a long row to hoe before, trust is rebuilt . I liked the craftsmanship of the actual story while blanching at both the main characters actions. There was a spark of hope the two some would work it out . This readrr was entertained and grateful for downbeat ending that never manifested.

I thank MichaelFitzgerald for sharing.

I so did not see this coming! Bravo good write!

Nice story and different . Give us some more my friend , you can write , and write well.

. . . I did for this one. It was tightly written and well composed.

There are only so many different stories you can write in the LW category; this one was different. More than just different, it was well written. That’s what counts.

The body of the story was well written and poignant, especially the words in the hotel lobby between Robert, Ann, and Bill. And Ann’s empty rationalizations afterward were painfully embarrassing for a woman of such purported intellect. But the final scene - the failed double suicide - was utterly compelling and unforgettable. Ann redeemed herself in a single stunning gesture of commitment and love. Very moving. Thank you. *****

of Christmas betrayal. And a RAAC ending in a pear tree!

Was the twist at the end a way for his competitive self to win? The test for his wife was to prove he was not only smarter than her (he outsmarted her by taking the bullets) but that he was also more important to her than she was to herself. Else why would she pull the trigger? He had to know he was #1 in her life.

We all do, in a sense. We couldn't spend decades with the same person without that confidence.

Overall, a very well written story. I expected it to be like Chagrined's "Un-break my heart": a trope that can be done well but, sadly, often isn't. This was a refreshing change. Do people in the USA (NYC, specifically) refer to their cell phone as a mobile phone? I thought that was more of a term for the British Isles.

Sign me up to your fan club

Interesting way to catch the wife - instead of coming home early, being late to meeting her!

Had BILL ruined everything?! - Of course her CHEATING had NOTHING to do with it!

She thinks NOT calling him is a good idea? That will just reinforce in him the idea that she doesn't care about him, that maybe she's with Bill.

IF Ann had tried to reach him? Nobody told him she had called?

Why do they always say that they didn't want him to find out? Of course cheaters don't want to be found out, in ANY way!

It wouldn't be fair to ask him for attention, but it's fair to cheat on him?

What was the "more"? The sex? Well, that was pretty obvious!

Of course he would say no if she told him she wanted to have lovers!

Brilliant

Left much too be desired however.

There were too many needed details left out for a reader to get some type of grasp here.

This was a worthy story with solid characters. I really liked what there was of this.

I would enjoy seeing this work expanded to include the necessary components.

Too many questions need answering. You know, of course, what they are.

If I haven't been clear enough, based on this short work, I believe you are a talented writer and have the chops to pull off what I suggested with great results!

This was a good solid 5/5 till the last two full paragraphs, rushed and poor ending made it a 3/5.

Pros: well written, creative, unexpected twists and turns. Interesting. Different, which is difficult do to in LW.

Cons: I can't relate to either character in the story. I understand the husband abandoning ship, but can't relate to his plan to get her back.

Nice original holiday STORY. Good references to NYC. But should have been twice as long with more back STORY and character development. Looking forward to more of your work.

Probably the highest praise you can get here is: "That's new".

Was it perfect? No. As Robert's internal monologue stated, it required a ton of speculative steps to occur in just the right way to come to pass. Perhaps in 1000 versions of the multiverse it didn't. Luckily in theirs it did :)

As a small bit of praise, when they were discovered and she in brief denial, it was nice to see Bill not acting like some caricature bull "Who cares about the wimp cuck" or reinforcing the ignorance fantasy that comes before retribution in BTB "How would that idiot suspect anything, we're so brilliant and subtle." The simple "Of course he knows. Oops."was also a welcome change.

No way in hell they resurrect the marriage -- she's been zapped by the MSR and is beyond redemption. Who knows how many years she's been fucking around on him.

That said, you write well and have enormous potential as an author (IMO). I have no talent for writing fiction myself, but your two offerings thus far have original plot lines and are well told. Thank you and keep on writing!

Happy ending? Maybe, maybe not. Happiness is not something the couple is interested in at the end of this story. Survival is the goal.

5*, I enjoyed reading it. I'm looking forward to your next.

But the story is deplorable. The writing, though is fine.

A well written story, a great effort! Hard to read without tears. The ending leaves much unsaid. Try for a follow-up, possibly a year or two later, possibly 15 years later.

Yes I feel this story was better than your first but...

You wrote, Robert Jones, accomplished print news editor, A successful marketing executive, Ann would of course be there, always on time Ann, always with a plan Ann. They were a power couple, accomplished, admired, independent, and seen as devoted to each other. If your going to write a cheating wife story maybe you should leave out seen as devoted to each other, that would only be around family and his friends where she wanted to fake her caring.

Christmas had intersected with his 25th wedding anniversary.

Holidays are always a bad time for emotional trauma and Christmas was the worst.

It was Monday. Christmas was three days away and her husband was still gone.

I guess Ann couldn't keep her secrets and holidays in line.

Emergency forces in the city have dormitories where they can eat and sleep when working long shifts. Newspaper men know where such places are and have friends who will let them crash for a few nights when they can't or don't want to go home.

Weeks later, Ann was in a long conference call when her PA told her there was a call she had to take, an emergency. Robert was in Bellevue for observation. Was that a bruise fading on the side of his face? He hadn't shaved in weeks and his hair! Had it even been cut since the last time she had seen him? Did he ever bathe? The hospital gown exposed his bony legs. He looked old and small, abandoned, homeless, unloved.

Now this is where you started to lose me. He is staying at a dormitory where cops and firefighters have temp housing and none can see the weight loss and lack of personal care? He showed back up to work after the weekend from hell just fine. He was doing well until he faced her head on then his life went to shits in a few weeks? She functioned just fine until she sees him in the hospital and she wants to die, what happened to lover boy Bill?

Last, "Let's go home, wife." And they lived happily ever after." So he lives like a homeless man for a month or more I guess loses his job but was willing to give her a reprieve because she was willing to pull the trigger.

I guess all I can say is keep on trying.

Though I guess in this case, a cold one!

You are a good writer Michael. I was very engrossed and drawn to both your main characters. I thought the ending was weak and seemed like you had reached a predetermined number of words and you just bailed out? Maybe I found it weak because the rest of it was so good? Keep writing!

But you need a better editor. Story line was ok and she did try to make the ultimate sacrifice, but for an educated man he should know it would never be the same. Their dynamic was still lost forever. Do a follow up please, your take on it should be interesting.

This is badly underscored. Good writing, good story. Five stars.

will it be enough to balance the universe, TK U MLJ LV NV

At last something original and not the borrowed cliches that so many in genre bore us with.

Of the best endings I've seen here. Great work! 5 keep it up.

Good job

Leading to a trash dump

Dude can flat out tell a story, and is O riginal!

As noted, reconciliation with such a person ain't a positive ending.

PS. Good smack by LSD re polite society bumper stickery

You have spun a really good story. And you tell us that they lived happily ever after. But how? It feels like getting sprung from the crazy farm was just the beginning. How did they resolve her problems and their overwhelming emotions that have to make it really hard to go on as a couple? Thinking people want to know....

Very creative, fresh story. Thank you.

An interesting story that held the reader’s attention and swayed the emotions toward Robert yet didn’t bury Ann. The only part that was out of place was his forgiveness of a wife he had loved, a wife who had several adulterous relationships because she wanted to feel appreciated as a woman but felt her husband couldn't give her that excitement because they and been together for so long. Her need to feel excitement with other, many other men, was greater than her love for the man who had loved and supported her dreams and ambitions during 25 years of marriage. Sorry but I can’t see him trusting her again.

Conclusive test of her truth to him ..... good read

to walk around a corner and find your wife wrapped up in some guy's arms kissing them. It happened to me and has happened to thousands of others, men and women both I guess.

Some even take the final step, but the truth is, it is never worth that. The author hit some powerful emotions here, good job.

But there was something about this reconciliation that avoided the lynch mob.

Maybe it was because there had already been enough pain for both that the unhappiness vultures had enough emotional road kill to satisfy their lust for revenge on all the women of the world.

I think you ought to write some more. Your style is different from “The Unoriginalist’—but the feelings of despair, of loss, of a future irreparably altered, regardless of ourcome—is palpable.

The best stories in LW linger and resurface and are rolled again between the fingers of the mind until they are worn smooth.

This may be one of those. Not the best. Not even in the Top 10. But up there in the special company of the ones we remember.

More, please.

Wow wasn’t expecting that ending! Great short story....

It was exactly the right length for the story you told.

I s suppose LW stories are running out of endings. I couldn't fathom this one.

Shrewd Dude.

One way to get through to the truth of her feelings towards him!

Obviously her behavior changed from when they first married, but it did not sound like her character, or lack of it, changed at all. She was selfish, shallow, and did not respect her husband nor herself. She wanted gratification, and pursued it in business, in marriage, in relationships, and in sex. It was Robert's fault for thinking someone that ambitious and ruthless was also virtuous and ethical.

She cheated, committed adultery, held him and their marriage vows in contempt For Years, and he had no clue? It was just sex? It was just some fun? It was just breaking rules and vows she never really cared about? You can't hide that kind of moral and ethical dysfunction from anyone who is paying attention. Their marriage must have been very distant, shallow, and tepid. Which he demonstrates, thinking that a diamond necklace is a symbol, a substitute, for heart and soul.

I'm afraid the theater at the end, with her trying vainly to regain her soul, by killing her self, was poorly thought out. She destroyed him by destroying their marriage. So her final act of love was to destroy the woman who was the center of his world? To splatter her brains against a wall in front of him? Which would have proven only that her real character flaw was not one of ethics or morals, but one of basic intelligence. She was simply too stupid and too selfish to see that his salvation, her greatest act of love and kindness toward him, would not be by her death, but by her acceptance that she was already dead to him, and he was to her.

If he was really going to kill himself because he allowed himself to be deceived by a high class whore, then she really was lacking an intelligent man in her life, apparently for years. She should have waited until he succeeded with suicide and gone on with her life, and all the assets and money. He was a fool.

And as the story ends, he is still a fool. As Ann ages and fights the unending decline of her appearance and sexuality, she will again yield to temptation and opportunity to add some excitement and thrill to her life. I don't think she will be offering to kill herself when he catches her the next time, and I don't think she'll care all that much if he does.

Thanks for exploring complex emotions and a compelling drama. Just wish it made more sense, and the characters stayed true to their character.

Nice approach! Great, if terribly risky, test.

Thank you, an entertaining LW story. 5*

Interesting and entertaining. Different and definitely a 5.

I wish the anonymous commenters would use a name of some sort. Saying "Crap" or words to that effect doesn't do any good unless you can communicate why they feel that way. I think it the cowards way out.

Again, well written and a different take on the issue.

The story started out well. In my opinion, the ending fell flat as it felt that you weren't sure where to go, so it ended too quick and left the reader hanging out to dry.

I have always wanted to say this and.now is the time! Ignore and delete all the anonymous haters. They were expecting a nice cuck story and.this is twice that you have frustrated them. Listen to all the real writers who offer constructive criticism, not the losers.

I liked it. A story that makes you think, hmm..

There is deeper waters to be plumbed about the psychology in a marriage with a known cheater.

This was a bare bones plot and very entertaining nevertheless. Gave it 4*s Mike.

Looking forward to another one, thank you....

AMerryman

Certainly an often written story line with a different twist at the end. Trust is everything in a union. Once it is gone, wonder will always be in the background. Your plea to always fight to keep a failed union falls on deaf ears. There is a time when past events can NOT be overlooked. Because I want to encourage you to improve your skill I am giving it a 4. Very difficult to please people in this venue.

This story goes beyond the usual and gets right to the basic stuff. Strong work.

5 stars for the story, the writing and the twist. 1 star for the way the twist went. Now he is a cuck for the whore. They deserve each other. He should have just moved on. The goodbye should have been the last words she ever heard from him. This was not a one time slip but a calculated action. She is a whore and should be treated as such.

I can see Randi's influences. Envious of your telling.

For those that didn't like it:

One CAN'T give more for any cause than his or hers life!

Yes she made a mess, but she was ready to pay ultimate price for it.

As I said above, one can't pay more then what she was ready to pay.

Great story... Well Done!!!

I read something original, at least ime, on here.

but nothings changed, she still has the itch, he's her cuckold, once her guilt dies down she'l be at it again, better to have just let her blow her brains out and moved on down the road.

nice story 5*

A good writers does not let everything of importance happen off camera. He was a man of words .. I wanted him to in his good vocabulary explain what he was going through and how he went to pieces after the bitch whom he trusted did this to him! We read stories because we want to meet people (Characters) better than us!

Short story, with well fleshed out characters and detailed LW's drama. *****

First I want to make clear my dislike for suicide, I've been exposed to it and there is little in this world that can make you feel as helpless. Some comment that they think she'll resume cheating, I don't see that. This was a test orchestrated by Robert to see just how remorseful for her cheating she really was. That she pulled the trigger, and it surprised him that she did, proved to him that she was worth another chance. The ruse to get her to be that extreme could have possibly backfired (excuse the pun) as the terror of hearing that hammer drop and then to realize he put her through this action on purpose as a test might have caused her to hate him forever as the nightmares of the gun going off haunt her in every dream from then on. Ever hear the stories of prisoners being tortured by bring them out , pointing a gun at their head and pulling the trigger over and over - it's inhuman.

You increased the level of emotional distress as if you are dealing with crazy people.

You also spend a lot of time on "self-examination" paragraphs which are nothing but LW cliche instead of focusing on plot. For example how would he remove bullets without her noticing, when did he get composure to think about that?

For a short story this is not a bad idea since it is original, just try to avoid phony psychology and platitudes (example: "The lies we tell ourselves are corrosive.").

I know that is not easy as it is not easy to make a complex and realistic plot but that makes a difference between a good and bad writer. Originality is not enough.

You are a kind of author that has some original idea then immediately wants to put them down without spending some time to work on the delivery. I think you can do that but you need to be aware of that.

That seems wrong. And he clearly hasn't found true love. She's a self-centered manipulative bitch that has shown him by her words and actions that she has no real love for him. So damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead to a divorce and a new life free from bat-shit-crazy women. Well written story with a truly horrible ending.

A cheating female and a weak male, sad sad sad. No happy marriage here.

I feel like I was set up. I was really getting into the story right up to the end. I am very disappointed in the ending.

Well written and dramatically plausible to a point but the ending is totally unsatisfying

Thank you for providing this tale of treachery.

A very good story! Thank you.

There is a reason why most RAAC stories

here don't work.

They lack credibility.

Mostly we read of wives digging their graves

so deep, there's no way to crawl up.

Then devils overnight turn into angels.

And the husbands buy it.

How credible is that?

Here we had a different version.

Here we had a slut who read her husband's mind.

He sent her a signal, even though he didn't know

she saw it through a one-way mirror.

She brought a gun (with a help from a daughter?)

and the husband tested her will to kill herself.

She stood the test and became a worthy wife.

The devil turned into an angel.

Now, how credible is that?

Until a gun turned up in this story,

this was an enjoyable read.

A really good story.

Because of that, it gets 3 out of 5 from me.

One more instance of a cheating wife having all the fun - virile lovers, hair raising orgasms, thrills while the hubby's is clueless and alone. Once caught, all the wife has to do is to mourn the seeming death of their marriage and do the penance routine.And voila hubby's melts and the wife goes back to being the loving wife again. Of course next time she will be more careful.

Bill was comfortable enough in their relationship to essentially proposition her in public, where she is waiting for SOMEONE, quite possibly her husband, and have no care?

People cheat for a couple of reasons. (1) Thier marriages are severely strained , damaged beyond repair and they are too weak and unsure to divorce. (2) For the thrill of sex on the side. They have no intention of leaving their spouses. Ever.

This story deals with number 2. When caught, for those people the reality of what they have done and the consequences after destroys the fantasy world they created in their own mind. Take her back? Tough call.

brave act of contrition, she earned complete forgiveness and absolution-period!

Yes, she showed something by pulling the trigger but after all she did I think a divorce is in order and then if desired they start over from scratch and see if it works out. He can still at some point have something trigger the fact that she has had sex with some number of men for some number of years. He can wonder did he get sloppy seconds? Does she now feel I am weak and all she needs is to be more careful? However she WAS very careful. It was just a fluke that guy showed up. If she chews him out they can still carry on.

What story was anonymous 24/5/19reading.?She cheated and if she realy felt the way she did after being caught,she would never have cheated in the first place.If he wasn't going to let her shoot herself,he should at least publically divorced her and see what effect it had on her career as payback.

Sorry the reaction of all these people to help her is absurd. She cheated, people would figure it out and then help him not her. The police would not care especially in nyc once they found out reason. The ending with the gun was a waste. 1 star

Normally I am a fan of burning the bitch, but this was well written. I liked how the husband "broke" his wife because some relationships are worth saving

Unbelievable *1

Complex solution. I think I would of taken her back too. Nice work and creative ending. 5

To the unbelievable comments:

Of course it's unbelievable are you fucking stupid? It's fiction.

Good story MichaelFitzgerald

I mean get a lawyer and Divorce her Butt .. I would rather Be broke then married to The Town Pump .. At Least Divorced I could have a life that Might include a Good and Loving Women .. Than I would Move I do not need Bad Memories ..

I just couldn´t agree with the ending. I know that it´s just a fantasy but come on. If he didn´t want to know the what, when, where and whys of it, maybe we did.

Sigh. "It was 'just sex.'" So what else is cheating but sex with someone other than your partner?

"The mere fact that Ann had concealed what she was doing was enough to shatter him." - It wasn't the fact that she concealed what she was doing, but that she had done something that needed to be concealed. "Was he that weak? Why wasn't he fighting back?" Why should he HAVE to fight? SHE'S the one who should have fought off the urge to cheat!

@widowedidiot, we DO know the whys, she told us, the whats are obvious, the when and where hardly matter.

As reader I would like to know, how long and how often she cheated and how many men with. Was it realy just sex or was it more (kind of dates).

Sorry for writing as Anonymous. I'm trying to activate my account since July 2019, but didn't get support from LIT, Manu or Laurel. If you want to help me create a Thread in the Tech-Support-Forum, contact me: infosauger@gmx.at

And they lived happily ever after until the next time she goes out of town. When hubby spends the whole time wondering if she fucking someone. The next time she's working late...is she fucking someone???? Every single time!! Once trust is lost you never totally get it back ever. He thinks what happened at the hospital convinced him she was back but he can ever totally trust her ever again.

Happily ever after:? Not likely.

Does it matter who was at fault? Love is scarce and time is fleeting. That's a mature writer at work. Well constructed and well delivered. A fiver.

Sorry, I don't believe in RAAC. Not necessary to BTB, but at least walk away. Personally, I can't forgive or forget cheating. You can never truly trust a cheater afterwards. You would always be wondering if she was sleeping with someone else later on.

The meeting and aftermath at the hotel was a visual gem. So emotionally clear and well done I had to go back and read it twice. Each of the three principals played their role in Shakespearian fashion.

The characters Robert and Ann were described sufficiently and their internal dialog was such that the reader knew enough about them to "fill in the blanks." Their behaviors were rationalizable... mostly.

As with so many stories there are gaps and suspension of disbelief, but that's the nature of the beast. The part about the viewing in the hospital and Robert's behaviors was confusing and unclear.

I must say, there are a few typos and grammatical blunders that mar the pacing and flow of the story. Having to go back and reread a sentence because of this disturbs the desire to continue undisturbed through a good tale. A final read-through by fresh eyes would have caught these, IMHO.

Like some other commenters, this reader is also unclear why the average score isn't in the 4.5 range for a clearly superior story.

Good story... Poor male character... He is spineless and weak minded.

The threats of murder or suicide are cheap plot twists. Even suggesting those things is an insult to every mentally ill, sick person out there that might read this nonsense and think they had the answer. And just because she realizes everyone hates her and decides to take her own life is no reason for Robert to magically forgive her cheating. Talk about a magic pill! That was just ridiculous.

1 star

Should not have taken her back.Unsure whether or not he should have let her shoot herself.

Yeah, the last words there, 'Find true love, dig in and hang on'. Too bad the wife didn't hold on to that.

.

For me this is an odd story, the plot itself is unremarkable, the basics are to be found on this site over and over again. (Wife cheats, hubby is loyal and finds out by accident - runs etc etc.) The method of telling it is what makes it so impersonal. Well, hubby was a newspaperman, so I guess it's why it sounds like a story in a paper - clipped, short on conversation, glossing over details.

.

I liked it, and that, to me, is surprising. But I did. And while it took me a while, half way through the first page I started to remember it, so I must have read it before. Must have been as anon, because I was able to vote, and I gave it five stars. For originality I guess, and it kept me interested enough to go all the way to the end.

"When you find true love, dig in and hang on."

Wasn't that the point of the story? That Robert thought he'd found true love, but he actually married a self-centred whore.

The idea that they'd have a happy ending after he caught her fucking other men and got his heart broken is ludicrous. This was just a cuckold fantasy.

An interesting spin on the cheating wife trope.

Yeah i don't think the author knows what true love actually is

This guy and RG - are all New Yorkers insane? Multiple affairs, and he takes her back because “she loves him?” It was okay for her to cheat because she was “restless?”

WTF!?!

Well, this was a pile of trash dressed up as psychobabble. You literally outsmarted your writing ability.

Very special love that disrespects the husband, makes him a cuckold, and breaks his heart. Since when self-centered, narcissistic bitches know how to love others? Would you expect a true psychopath to feel remorse for skinning your favorite cat alive? By the same token, would you expect a narcissistic and self-centered woman to love you first than themselves? Sadly, that at the end, he agrees to live as a cuckold in the name of a sick love. How quaint!

How can you forgive the unforgivable and still hold your head high?

Every reconciliation story must wrestle with this puzzle. Generally, the steeper the price willingly paid by the cheating LW, the more plausible the MC's forgiveness and the more satisfying the reconciliation.

Here, the LW shows herself willing to pay the ultimate price, so all but the most rabid BTB fanatics will be satisfied. Thought the method is implausible, it certainly is original!

How is this story not rated much higher?