All Comments on 'Audit Surprise Ch. 01'

Excellent start, keep going please! Hopefully the bitch gets whats coming to her and more.

Excellent start. Loved the no hesitation nuclear bomb email. Looking fwd to your next chapter.

Very original and exciting, makes you wonder where these ideas come from, are they based on real life, hope the next chapter is not to far off.

I have been burned before, so i vowed never to read a story until it is complete. For the author, i have read your stories before, and they are more then just erotic fantasies like some of the stories here, and this is why i come back to read them all the time, your story is a statement, an idea and a message, how can i or anybody else rate it or comment on it if i don't understand it all, you may start good and end bad or vice versa, so i find the comment you had at the beginning a little...

the momentum of this story is so amazing! Keep it up! Cheers!

Great beginning. No matter what the reward there's no excuse for the cunt's er I mean wife's actions. Please continue...

As long as it's a BTB story, I want to read it all.

Please continue. Really curious as to where this will go. Sheryl is a mystery. Looking forward to learning more about her. Love your work. Thanks.

We sometimes get so little good stories to read, most never hit a 4. Yours is very good. I wish I had complete story. I would not be able to stop til I read it all.

.......It makes more sense to review a whole story...bit reviews are never accurate nor do the give a writer fair feedback on their ability to carry a plot line....(considering that here the writers cater for varying tastes....from for lack of better term.."perverted.....to the reasonably healthy whatever that may be )...but the bottom line is don't let the majority dictate your convictions as to your story...its yours tell it as you conceived it.

..ps.... not saying ignore editing though.....waiting to review

gave it a 5

1.First,the sexual harassment and sue the goons to the hilt and

2. sue the company for gender discrimination i.t.o. promotion

3.Get info on the 4 goons social circles and data on close friends and family member and give of them a CD on the happenings in town and

4.get a job out of town perhaps about 500 miles or more for the next 2 months and get the wife to cc of all charges she had submitted.

5.Get a reputable P.I. with audit knowledge and dig up all dirts and evasive accounting on the company and file the submission to anybody including FBI

and lastly BTB.

I thoroughly enjoyed your story and am looking forward to reading the next 2 chapters. Thank you

I think you have a great foundation for an intense story....there are some many legal actions he can take...Wife not so sure...but, supvervisor subordinate sex never goes well for the supervisor.

Keep in mind the husband can file the suit in civil court, the threat of which will bring a healthy settlement out of court.

Hopefully following chapters lets him get payback on his (hopefully) ex-wife to be, her associates, and the company they work for. Painful payback is in order.

Loved it and looking forward to the rest of the story. Thanks for the effort.

. . . with suspense to the last paragraph. I can hardly wait to see what comes next.

As a stand alone , CH1 is very good, Sheryl it appears will get what she deserves. Her words when confronted and given the ultimatum sealed her fate, which he did, to her, her lovers, and the company..

As a stand alone, 5 stars. I trust the remaining two chapters will be just as good. I would expect two to be her perspective and three to be the "final audit".

Great job

This is a brilliant setup. Emotional, yet overtly soggy. He feels the pain but is not afraid to administer a bitter pill to make it all go away.

dangerouslydead (on a public PC, can't login here)

Well written, interesting. Although, I became more interested in the general story than the theme of the cheating wife. I really don't care about the main characters all that much except that I feel he will be much better off without her. I hoped you would go into some detail about how this accountant had planned to protect himself financially, and destroy her and her company - financially. I am still hoping for that! What is the difference between justice and revenge?

Looking forward to the next chapter.

Thanks for the read.

great. can't wait for the next one. THANK YOU

A good read and development of the story. Cant wait till the next instalment happens.

Why after watching what the cunt did would he even want to give her a second chance . Once a cheater always a cheater . What a stupid dumb ass

Quickly please!

Looks like a great series, so please finish it.

Let me tell you how these next two chapters go. In the first he is the victim, in the second he is very proactive about the divorce even though his heart is breaking, and in the third he becomes a wimp cuckold. What do you think?...

some of the comments say in part "do not give the cheater another chance with the marriage". While most writings on the site are fiction with a touch of truth, facts remain in the real world, the cheating spouse gets another chance... Right or wrong that is the real world... Sit back in your recliner and think of real life events you can bring to your mind... I am not suggesting that all second chances at a relationship will survive, but most do get a chance at a second chance..

I don't usually write comments , but PLEASE hurry the hell up and get chapter 2 done....;) 5*****

according to the comments so far. However, I haven't read the story yet.

Your statement at the beginning of the story that you will post the next chapter(s) if the comments are good bothers me.

I know that any story I post will not please all readers, it's just human nature.

Maybe it's only me, but I write because I enjoy it. I appreciate all comments even the ones for the Hate Nazis but they aren't the motivation for my writing to begin with.

I would advise that you write and post stories because you enjoy writing them and think they are good work.

Just my thoughts. Good luck.

Woodmanone

Strong story, can't wait to read more.

Read it again and believe it!

cant wait for part 2... your stories are always the best..

Take this story. Every character, including the wife, is perfect. No flaws, no blemishes, no imperfections. People like this DO NOT EXIST! It detracts from the story like a paper cut.

Second: none of the evidence they collected is admissible in court. On fact, because her husband and his team attempted to blackmail her and her lovers and threatened to divulge personal information would result in prison AND a massive lawsuit against his company. In fact, invading her privacy would end up with a judge accepting divorce punitive damage AGAINST him.

Third: what guy, unless he gets off on pain, would watch his wife duck other men? What the fuck is wrong with this guy anyway!

All in all, a really crappy story that should be in non erotic.

Very well done. Liked that he was willing to let his love for her give them a chance to save the relationship.

She is a corporate whore and I think that is just a bit too much for me to forgive. One can understand how lust and desire can overwhelm a person and lead to straying. A whore has time to think and weigh the costs. To her, the promotion was worth the risk of losing her marriage. Looking forward to her explanation of the finger.

Would appreciate shorter paragraphs - just makes it easier to read the story.

Also, you can expect to be called the usual bad names etc for having husband consider staying in marriage. These guys are like trained monkeys whom have been conditioned by past emotional pain. YOU should not allow them to steal from ME the great enjoyment I will get from reading your story continuation.

Also, when he hooks up with Yan, please describe her beautiful tiny bum and breasts. Recently had a date with a part Chinese woman and could really relate right now.

Great job so far. A little unrealistic in the ability to see everything on the computer from the other building but that doesn't detract from the story. Interested to see whether you will take the obvious step and hook him up with a team member or if you go for a reconciliation.

A great story I hope you continue with it

Please continue

It's a great chapter 1, but I agree with woodmanone. Basically you're saying "Like it, or else...". That's just really bad form for an author. It's impossible to please everybody.

That said, I DO want to read more.

This is a very absorbing and imaginative scenario set up by the author, I'm hooked. My main quibble is that chances for raising dramatic tension were missed, by letting the cheaters know that they are busted. As it stands now, the narrator doesn't know if his straying spouse is being blackmailed, a lowly pawn or one of the main players.

The secondary cavil/ quibble is that the narrator is so relentlessly straight edge.. As it stands now, his wife is a freak. How in the world did these two co-exist for as long as they did ? Some deeper character exposition would have been welcome for this reader ranging from the troubled couple to the libidinous villains

Nevertheless I can't deny radk is on point in terms of having a lot of elements of a first-rate tech espionage/ cheating hearts thriller in place. The tech spy tool talk was both convincing & formidable. The battle lines have been drawn and the inevitable clash promises much mayhem on both the financial balance sheet & the heart.

for eight days and only talked on the phone to her twice, he was home when she was home five of these days at one time or another it is hard to believe and as a matter of fact almost impossible to believe this. I think you need to read your story before posting to make it more believable anyway i loved the story line.

But of course I have always been a fan of yours. Well written and quite a ride you are taking us on. I certainly hope you decide to submit the other chapters. Thanks for writing and sharing.

great start can't wait for the rest hurry hurry

Don't short sell your stories. This is a good one and can't wait to read more. I don't leave comments to often, but when I do I give my name and not like the bashers who don't.

Five star story beginning, zero star introduction, three star rating. Take your ball and your bat and go home.

Nice set up so far. Waiting to read chapter 2 and 3. I have a query. You said if any grammatical mistakes exist they would be yours as you changed the story a bit after it was edited. So, my question is why would you edit a story after it has been edited by an editor? And if you want to do so, why have an editor in the first place? Weird.

With regards to the story, cant wait to read more.

Ready for part two and more.

Great job. Very good story.

great stoey....where's part 2?

Talk about suspense.. Great Job in leaving us hanging and hoping the next installment will be out tomorrow. I can hardly wait.

Good stuff.

That was very good.

whew heavy emotion you did an excellent job i'll be looking for chap 2 thanks 5

Good story so far. A "fantasy" team that could do everything he needed in 12 hours or so but still not so far fetched to take away from reading the story. The one thing I probably would have done is have him give his phone the finger after hanging up the last time as an ironic sign that control had turned. Or better yet, to emphasize just how much he knew and saw, tell he was giving her the finger just before he canceled the call. I do hope you feel enough support to submit he next chapters.

I hope you continue the story as I look forward to the reading about the fallout for the bitch.

Excellent. Bring them on!!!!!

You bastard! Stopping at a point like that!

Don't make us wait too long! Please!!!

You dangled a very, very delicious carrot, and I can't wait to taste it! On to the next chapter!

However you want to end this story, (reconciliation, scorched earth, BTB, murder, castration, romantic anti-climax) it'll be worth it to continue reading a very well-paced and exciting story. Continue!

... especially the kind that can perform technological miracles in such a short span of time. Other than that deus ex machina, it was a great start to what I hope will be a great piece of fiction. Looking forward to the next chapter!

I'm on vacation this week,and you can't leave me hanging like this...

The setup was great,IMO. 5 stars & a favorite from me.

She deserves the hell-fire she started.

after watching the wife take it in every hole willingly, why would he wonder what to do? If it had been a gradual seduction or a one off, maybe work it out. What the wife did here was pretty much beyond forgiving, regardless of her reasons. If it's her job, then it's money, and if it's money, she's a whore. That's fine if they agree that she screw her bosses, but she did it all on her own and it doesn't sound like they are starving.

I was not happy with the intro that told us to leave high votes and good comments if we wanted more. Woodmanone is correct. Write your story and let the chips fall where they may. We do not write for approval. We write because we like to keep the creative juices flowing in our veins.

My guess is that she will explain that she did it for him and she gave the phone the finger because she wanted her boss to think she had contempt for him. She really loves him and he will realize she's a great wife. She just puts out a lot for money. That ending will tank the scores.

Yes, right now it is easy to see what well worn paths you have lain in the groundwork so far. I liked the images of him holding the finger over the button, giving her her last chance before going nuclear. Good stuff! Yes, I like where you have started, and hope WE don't have to wait too long to see how this pans out!

I am not much of a comment leaver, but in this case I decided to do just that and leave my 2 cents on the table. Love the story line and the writing. I am a BTB sort of guy. The only thing I have any problems with is that he tends to cry a little to much for me. The line of work I have been in for the last 30 years maybe what has harden me totally, but I can't see crying over a woman who has zero respect for me. When she gave him the finger and he saw, that would have been the ultimate for me. Just so ya'll know, I have been in state and federal law enforcement for my career. This is a big old 5 on the kiddo scale. Good story. Let's see if his testicles stay big enough for Chapters 2 and 3. Radk, don't let negative comments dictate to you what you write and leave. I have the utmost respect and admiration for people who can write. I would love to. I would love to be able to write stories, but I am a report guy now and can't seem to get out of that vein. Keep writing for those of us who are the silent majority, that really do enjoy your stories.

Write stories you believe in, and when they are to the point where you can point at them with pride and say "See what I have created!" then you post them. The readers who get what you were trying to do will let you know, and the clueless ones will be obvious and can be ignored. Taking the attitude that you will only write what meets with popular acclaim is a sure path to mediocrity.

This story is good enough that I would like to see more. And thankfully, you haven't telegraphed in the first installment what direction you intend to take with the subsequent chapters. Nice job overall.

Gave this part a five. In such pain a person will try to give pain back. That is realistic. People do it. I like that he gave her a chance even though it was minimal. It will be interesting to read what this author does for the rest of the story. He tends to go to far sometimes. Even so I await the rest of the story.

Good to see the good guy have a chance once in a while. Please post the next parts

Go for chapter 2 at least. While I would have done a few things differently, it was a good read. Interesting characters.

I suppose we all have some points that we read and say "yes, I get it". Excellent writing and I look forward to you posting the next chapter

I like the idea of your story being in three parts. It gives me something to look for in the coming days. The story so far is exciting and very well written.

Awesome so far can't wait

Very good thus far. Keep up good writing.

Please keep this story going.

Can't wait for the next installment. Please post it soon. The story line is also good. So many possible directions.

Like the writing style. Easy to follow and consistent.

Good job. 5 stars just to see the next 2 chapters.

Looking forward to the next chapter

While the story was well written it seemed structured to grind Marty into the dust, making him helplessly observe his wife's depravity and disrespect. over and over. I got it after the blowjob. Marty's wife is the whore for her bosses. It would have been bad to find out she was with ONE other guy. Horrible to know she is a corporate whore. Soul crushing to watch it repeatedly. His suffering is agony and his helplessness becomes disgusting. Yeah, I get he is "preparing:" for his revenge but it seems hollow. She assaults him ruthlessly. He gets a lawyer's revenge.

However, more? What's left? She has been discovered and exposed. He wisely plans to divorce her. He has a ton of evidence for whatever he wants to do. Some of the computer spying might have been illegal but taking pictures through a public window should be fine for court. Do we want to hear more "but Marty" diversions? I don't. What little we saw of her made her sound dumb. Why drag it out? Having chosen his path, it will play out as a divorce in which he has a good chance of getting favorable treatment. Maybe he could sue the company. Not real page turning material. Is she crushed by her exposure? Destroyed? I would like to imagine that her job and possibly career are over but I don't think it will add much to see it play out. Listen to her "story"? Sorry, not interested. She is in too deep for any explanation beyond forcible rape which was clearly NOT happening. Have Marty suffer some more? He moved through that in this chapter. Why backslide?

If other chapters are posted, I'll give them a read to see where the story tries to go but I'm good with where it leaves off.

I look forward to more of the story.

Thank you for sharing this. Wonderful job of conveying the emotions of Marty. Looking forward to continuing...

This is a good start to a BTB story, but I see you are leaving room for reconciliation and quite possibly even more betrayal.

Lets see where you take this but have the corporate assholes fight back for a change.

In the real world nobody rolls over and pays a big settlement without forcing years of litigation and threats of public disclosure are usually met with a gag order from the presiding judge.

Keep adding the dirty messy parts that no one really wants to experience so that we can see how ugly and mean these situations really get.

Keep it going

It seems cut and dried, but this is also a story about audit suprises, and I suspect that there are some suprises in the extended story line. If the story is straight forward, the rest of it is a BTB revenge epic... I've seen that kind of thing before. If the story is more complex, then I am more interested but am concerned that it will be difficult to get the plot out of the rut that it is in...

Looking forward to see where you take it. Goading the readership to clap hands is beneath you - the story is not Tinkerbell.

Green-something

(a harem-redemption-of-the-wayward-wife-by-acceptance-of-the-other-spouses? I hope not...)

Well written incredible story. Can't wait for the rest!

looking forward.

Doesn't need another chapter.

Definitely post the rest!

Definitely post the rest ASAP!

Can't wait to see how this one ends up

WHY does he give her a chance to even POSSIBLY save the marriage? It cannot possibly sexual harassment.

The husband seeing her give him the fuck you finger to her phone after he called he the 1st time as she was about to fuck Brad are not being sexually harassed.

seeing her fuck 4 other men with a look a great joys and numerous orgasms is not being sexually harassed.

and seeing his so called wife AGAIN give him the FUCK YOU finger... a 2nd time and a 2nd phone call (never mind the little black dress)... Just kills it.

so WHY offer her even a chance?

even more puzzling why would the husband after seeing hours and hours of LIES deceit betrayal hate and disrespect even THINK about trying to save the marriage?

if this is how the loving wife acts when she is happy...i hate to think how she acts when she is unhappy

I really would like to see more of this story. How does she fight back? Do the corporate types fight back? My experience is middle managers are ruthless with those below and craven with those above. Upper managers are different, they got where they are by being able and not worrying about who is hurt by the damage they do along the way. She was screwing middle types.

I could see this becoming a truly spectacular scorched earth divorce.....

There is no way to fix things. That much is clear at this point.

Thanks,

MGM

I can't wait to read the rest. The title lets us be aware of more surprises, but at least I hope for a believable POV from the wife. Don't leave us hanging too long.

This is an awesome story and it deserves to be completed! So if you don't post the next parts, I'm going to send Jason and Freddy Kruger to get you! LOL

One of The great and Good Stories here. I would like To read more. Thank You so much

An absolutely great start with a very interesting story line. You've set up the remainder so well in leaving so many open avenues that you can take. The marriage, the wife, the lovers & the interest in him by his fellow team members. I do hope that you continue this tail to it's finish.

So far it is a good read. I would like to see where this goes and see justice for the wronged husband. Please continue.

I hope that the concluding portions include lots of dialog between Marty and the soon-to-be ex-wife, with her attempting to explain and justify her actions, and him pointing out how thoroughly she betrayed him, and sacrificed everything that was good in her life for smoke. What's with the attitude apparent in the "finger" she gives him over the phone? Does she think he's been cheating? Thanks for posting. I look forward to more!

Good husband, with an always faithful Tonto (the PA) at his side, chance happening that lets him discover it, carload of illegally made video tapes (felony time, guys)

The two stars I gave it were way too much

No literary self-immolation, please. Keep posting the follow-on chapters. It's a tough category but your works belongs here with the good ones. You have a good voice, a nice feel for narrative and detail, and you can spell and construct sentences, too!. There are always quibbles with stories, such as here (as with many stories in this category!) where, against all probability, the protagonist sees his wife in the act but also has astonishing tech resources at hand just begging to help smooth his path to response. Still, all fiction requires acceptance of some plot devices so why not yours. That aside, if the writing is not good, nothing works. Your writing is solid and enjoyable.

Truly full of well known themes. Well written and characterized except for Sheryl.

Quite complete as is, but I will be more than happy to read two other stories with same characters....

Actually this could be a perfectly good ending to the story. I know other people want to read about the aftermath, but I can use my imagination for the rest. Nevertheless, I will read the next chapter when it comes out.

most excellent as usual. 5

The best thing you've written. Please post the rest. Thanks.