All Comments on 'Audrey Pt. 02'

This is quite a bit better, but still needs some work. Put yourself in the moment as you write. For example, it seemed as if both of you were talking on the cell phone while in the shower. Not likely. Then you went to the trouble of saying you laid the phone down out of the reach of the water spray. Are you getting my point?

You're writing has a lot of promise! Please keep after it!

Argh! I can't believe I just used "you're" instead of "your".

It was nice. Too many spelling mistakes or autocorrect mistakes. I look forward to more.

Loved the story... very hot. Here is a tip for editing. Print it out and read it. For some reason, at least for me, I can spot errors on the printed page better than on the screen alone. Yes, use the screen, but once you're sure it's all edited, then print it out and read it on paper. There you'll see things like "Your coming with me," when it should be, "You're coming with me," or "baited breath" when it should be "bated breath." Spell check won't catch those, and on the screen, you're handicapped by looking for the red squiggle under errors. There are no squiggles on paper, and you're forced to look more deeply for errors. That said, smokin' hot story!

Interested in seeing where this goes !! Trying to acoid mom and still fuck as much as possible would be really hot 🥵

Don't know if you're still on here, but I would like to see a continuation