All Comments on 'Average Joe Ch. 01'

Though I always thought that the category required intercourse! OK,OK

I know that they are going to his apartment......

I wrote this story and submitting a chapter every other day. It will be listed in different catagories, pertaining to the story in that chapter. There is quite a bit of sex in some chapters but not in all. With me it's about the character's and emotions. Hope you stay for the ride. Story is longer than most I have written; hense the chapters.

with respect

DG

One of my favorite writers is back and writing. I am anxious to see the following parts as this was an excellent start.

I suppose I should wait till the end to ask this, but here goes. It seems to me that most stories are about extraordinary events or people. I don't have a problem with Joe not being a super stud, but why make him so very very average? Shouldn't he have some superior qualities? He's not athletic, not smart but not dumb, not good with people, not attractive but not unattractive, etc. It's just that the way Joe is described, he's, well, boring. And starting a story about boring people is a pretty big hill to climb. You're a good writer and I like your stories. But why start off in a hole, so to speak? Heck, even his job is boring.

Am going to enjoy the 'unfolding' of this series - thank you.

Please let me know when you post a sequel.

DG nice start to the story. I think it is a great start to a story and can't wait for the next chapter

DG. Looks like another great story about real people in real circumstances. Looking forwar to the next chapter

You have got me hooked. Really enjoyed the build up to a story about real people. Shame it is going to take two weeks to read it

Don't know if I should curse you or kiss you for a good story begining like that-but making us wait!

Keep going!

Very interesting story so far and will be looking forward to the next chapter.

great start. keep it up

Good point about taking two weeks to get the total story posted. I have already submitted three chapters. I'll submit the remaining four, one each day until finished.

DG Hear

is back! DG, you da man!

Love it. Read a chapter and get to cogitate on it a couple of days, then another chapter. For those who can't remember two days back, wait until you see 'Final Chapter', go to the stories and start at Chapt. One, and read it all in one sitting. 'Course, you better write down the title so you can remember it!

I'm caught up identifying with Joey already. Excellent, excellent!

I'm not sure why it is that these stories seems to be the ones I gravitate to seeing I'm a male I guess I'm a sucker for guy meets girl bones girl marries girl knocks her up and lives happily ever after.

If it only worked like that in the real world.

Anyhow this was a good job I've read the whole seven chapters and this is one of only a hand full of the 100's of stories on this site that I thought were well written.

I gave it a five thumbs up :-)

The heavy emphasis on average, average, average got a bit repetitive.

We get it, he's convinced that he has nothing to offer and is not special in any way whatsoever... but you went beyond that.

"

"Joey, don't you have a girlfriend?"

"No, never had, probably never will. I'm not what the women are looking for I guess."

"

This line shows that Joey doesn't just think of himself as "average", but rather, he knows deep in his soul that he is a pathetic loser. He has subsumed the Truth of his Life: He will never be anything special or have anyone love him - he is nothing.

This is taking things too far.

It makes him pathetic and not a character I want to read about because self-fulfilling prophecy and that shite.

The subject 'mislabeled' is due to the fact that you tagged this chapter as "First Time"

He has his first orgasm with a woman, yes, but all the rest of his firsts happen later so this is wrongly labeled. It should be tagged "Non-erotic", and chapter two should be "First Time".

I doubt your story rating will improve with this change, but at least people won't finish chapter 1 asking "why is this labeled First Time when he is still a virgin at the end?"

What may improve your overall story rating is if you back down on the Eeyore syndrome a bit.

I will continue, but only because later chapters have higher ratings.

This is a delicious story man, every boy's fantasy...!

You are a very talented writer. I can't wait to read the next chapter.