Awakenings

I love it when stories like this find me. The joy of telling the story, the anticipation of how it's going to be received. I never know for sure if you're going to love my stories as much as I do. I think you'll like this one. Standard caveats apply, everyone's eighteen, etcetera...

As always, leave me a comment when you're done.

***

"Hey Roger. Sorry I'm late. I had some last-minute house cleaning to take care of." Pissed off beyond words, I was doing my best not to let my best friend take the brunt of my anger.

"Let me guess, Beth?" He chuckled and smiled at me. "What is it this time?"

"I caught her taking pictures of my stuff, my golf clubs, my bike, things like that. Do you know what she said when I asked her why?" I was still fuming.

"With her, there's no way to know." Roger shook his head and shrugged. I could tell he was grasping the gravity of what had happened.

"She had the audacity to tell me, 'Well, you won't need any of this when we get married, so I'm just doing you a favor and selling it all now. We can use the extra money for our honeymoon.' That crazy bitch was going to sell my stuff while I was hiking with you and thought I'd be ok with it."

"Your bike? That was your grandfather's bike, and she was just going to sell it without telling you? Man, I know you think you love her, but you have to get out of that shit before it's too late."

"Yeah, that's the house cleaning I mentioned. She told me she had already posted some ads, holding her phone out like it was a trophy. I grabbed it and threw it against the wall. Told her to 'get the fuck out!'"

I went on for twenty minutes, raging about what my bitch of a now ex had done and how some poor guy had showed up to pick up my golf clubs, and wasn't happy to find out they weren't really for sale, especially since he said he had already paid for them.

The good thing about the electronic locks I had installed was that all I had to do was login to the website to change the codes, and it was done. I took the time to change my banking passwords and those for my credit card, and to make sure I had securely locked all my windows, too. I even unplugged my garage door opener, just to make sure. When I was sure I had everything safely locked away from Beth, I took a deep sigh, repacked my camping gear, and went to meet Roger.

In hindsight, it was so clear how manipulative Beth had always been. But she was a stone-cold fox and a beast in bed, and she had been the first girl to not freak out at my secret. In fact, she was the one that took me to the salon for my first manicure and pedicure. We had left with matching pink nails. She went shopping with me. She encouraged me to do laser hair removal. Yeah, even there. I had decided that for her acceptance of my cross dressing, I could put up with her demands. I had been wrong.

It was quiet for a while. Roger knew, too. He had been my best friend for longer than I could remember and had had the audacity to tell me he thought I was cute when he caught me in his sister's Easter dress when we were about eight.

"So, who am I going camping with? I know you're stressed, and what that usually means..."

"Um," I blushed. "Sophie. Is that ok?" Roger nodded, and I immediately relaxed. Sophie did that for me, and Roger knew all about it.

"You know I like her better than Steve, anyway, right? Let's hit the road. You can change on the way to the cabin and then we can get drunk and talk about what a bitch Beth is."

It wasn't frantic. Slowly and deliberately, I stripped and changed while Roger drove. I had done it a thousand times, especially when we were in college. That I could glue my breast forms onto my chest in a moving car amazed Roger almost as much as the way I could tuck my stuff out of the way in my skimpy panties. That I could do full makeup in the small mirror on the back of the sun guard boggled his mind. Over the years, necessity had honed my skills like battle did soldiers, and I had fought this war more times than I cared to count.

Roger's family had a cabin in the mountains close to where we lived. For years he and I had gone up there, exploring the trails and skinny dipping in the creeks and streams, laughing at our own reactions to the icy cold water. Our plan this time was a three-day hike up over the pass, and then back again. We had done it before. This time, Roger brought his camera. The fall leaves were turning, and he was hoping to take some truly epic pictures.

When we stopped for gas and snacks, I smoothed my skirt and scurried to the ladies' room to double check everything, grinning that, as always, it was almost perfect. "Damn, you're good." I smiled at the pretty redhead in the mirror.

On the way out of the convenience store, I stopped at the fountain and got myself a Coke and Roger a Root Beer, digging in my purse for a five-dollar bill I knew I had buried in there somewhere to pay the clerk.

"Hey there, sweetness. Haven't seen you around here before." I could feel his presence almost before I smelled the stale odor of cigarette smoke and sweat radiating from his body. "Why don't you let me and Henry show you around a bit?"

He winked at me and leaned on the counter next to me as I turned around. "We'd show you a real good time, wouldn't we, Henry?"

"Billy, leave her alone. I warned you about bothering my customers before. You and Henry just leave her be. Sodas are on me, miss. Why don't you head on out to your car?"

"Um, thanks." I had found the five and dropped it on the counter, anyway, deciding that waiting for my change wasn't worth the trouble and he deserved a small reward for trying to deflect my admirers.

The door hadn't even closed behind me when I heard Billy's voice getting closer to me. "Now hang on, missy. We was just being friendly. We just want to show you a good time, you being here all alone and such."

"Lady's not all alone and such." Roger met me halfway across the parking lot, leaning down and kissing me hard. I almost dropped the sodas. "Hey, babe, you alright? These gentlemen aren't bothering you, are they?" Damn, Roger could be imposing when he wanted to.

"Um, no." I glanced back at Billy. "Just being neighborly, I guess. Come on, we've got a long way to go." Billy and Henry looked at Roger, all 6' 6" of him, and left to find some fun somewhere else. I handed him his Root Beer and slipped my hand into his, smiling as he led me back to the car.

"Thanks." I whispered as Roger pulled out of the parking lot.

"No problem. Besides, you had it all under control. All you had to do was show them your dick was bigger than his and they would have run away." Roger laughed.

"But my dick isn't... Oh." I laughed with him, reaching over and putting my hand on his thigh. He looked over at me, winked, and smiled. I wasn't tiny. I was just below average, but I knew how to use what I had, and had other talents that my girlfriends loved. It was still funny. Beth and her craziness were suddenly the furthers thing from my mind.

My dad had called Roger and me Mutt and Jeff after some old comic strip he had liked as a kid. Roger was tall and athletic, hitting his growth spurt early and hard, where I was about average, eight or nine inches shorter than him, and thin, almost wispy. Our dads worked together and played golf together and our moms were almost like sisters, so Roger and I didn't have a choice but to become best friends.

That day so long ago when he found me in his sister's room wearing her Easter dress felt like yesterday. He smiled at me and winked. "You look cute in that, but I don't think Sally would appreciate you wearing her things." That was it. He never said a word. Years later, at college, when Sophie came into her own, he gave me the same look, that same wink. Sophie's first time to go out was on his arm. He had been there for all of it, and never batted an eye, well, except for that devilishly cute wink.

Roger had protected me from so many bullies over the years, sometimes just by being there and a time or two, by physically reminding them of whose best friend they were messing with. Billy and Henry were just two more names I added to the list.

We'd made this drive so many times, but I never tired of the scenery. It was gorgeous, and with the leaves just beginning to change, it was spectacular. We stopped a few times when Roger just had to get a shot of this view or that vista, and finally arrived at the cabin just as the sun exploded onto the horizon, using some clouds in the distance to paint the sky brilliant pinks and oranges.

Roger scrambled to get his camera out, taking one picture after another as the sky changed in front of us, the masterpiece unfolding in the heavens, changing subtly as the sun slowly ceded the day to the coming night. I don't know why I did it. I'd never done it before. I leaned into Roger and pulled his arms around me, gazing in awe as the masterpiece that had unfolded in the sky across the valley faded to nothing and a billion stars took its place.

Roger bent down and kissed the top of my head, inhaling deeply. "You always smell so good."

"I stole Beth's shampoo." The words snuck out before I realized what I was saying. Any other time, it would have been funny. The magic was gone.

We did that guy thing when both of you got uncomfortable with something, pretending it didn't bother you. I grabbed my clothes from the floor of the front seat, and Roget got our packs from the trunk.

There was always food in the kitchen. Roger's mom made sure of that, and liquor and beer in the bar, his dad covered that. I made some sandwiches and Roger poured some stiff ones. We went out on the porch and ate and began our mandatory quest toward abject insobriety. Our topic of the day was my ex, at least for the first three rounds.

"You're prettier than her, anyway." Roger brought the bottle with him this time, taking a swig and handing it over to me.

"Who's prettier than who?" I took the bottle and took a drag.

"You, Sophie. You're prettier than that bitch, Beth; always were."

"You're shit faced." I laughed.

"So? Doesn't mean I'm wrong. And I don't care if it was her fucking shampoo. You smell real good."

"Yeah, well, you're not so bad either, for a guy, I mean."

"Hell, I'd fuck you and I'm not even gay." Roger wasn't even listening to me. He was talking to himself through me, taking one long drink from the bottle of bourbon after the other.

"I mean, you're fucking hot. You got those damned legs that go on for days and your fucking ass is amazing. Who wouldn't want to fuck you? I bet those red lips of yours would look amazing on my cock, too."

He was slurring his words so badly it was hard to understand, but I was drunk, too. I guess my booze addled brain was translating.

"Shut the fuck up." I grabbed the bottle and drained it, which was probably a bad idea. The last thing I think I remember was the sound of the bottle hitting the floor. Or was that me?

I woke up still half-drunk to flashes of lightning in the windows, and the sounds of a raging thunderstorm outside. I went to the bathroom, and without thinking, stripped to my panties and climbed back into bed, cuddling up against the nice warm body that was already there, pulling a powerful arm around me.

Roger had drunk more than me, but I was tiny compared to him and a lightweight. I woke up alone, with the raging headache I had earned and a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin next to the bed. I dumped a handful of aspirin in my hand and downed them with the entire glass of water before slipping out of bed and going to the bathroom.

I was naked except for my panties. My breast forms were still in place and my makeup wasn't too bad. I could salvage that with a little effort. I just had to find my purse.

What I didn't know was why I was in Roger's room, in his bed, and why my clothes littered the floor. What concerned me more than anything was what exactly had happened before and after my clothes had come off.

There were vague memories of Roger saying something about me being pretty. Did he say he wanted to fuck me? I ran my hand across my ass, letting my middle finger probe my hole. It didn't hurt, so that didn't happen. Then what did? Damn, I hated getting drunk with Roger. I never remembered anything. It was my fault, though, for trying to keep up with him.

Damned macho pride. I looked at myself in the mirror and laughed. Ouch, fuck, don't laugh with a hangover. I grabbed the first T-shirt I saw on the floor and pulled it on. It hung down to my knees, which meant it was Roger's. Maybe he knew what happened.

I found Roger on the porch watching the rain drinking a massive cup of coffee. Without missing a beat, he offered one just like it to me.

"You, ok?" I tried to whisper.

"Shhh. Too loud." Oh fuck, I laughed again.

I stood there next to him, watching the rain wash our chances of a hike down the side of the mountain until I got chilly. Going back inside, I lit a match and threw it in the fireplace, turning the gas on and, as the nice, warm flames came to life, curled up on the couch, pulling my knees to my chest. Sipping my coffee, I watched out the door as he just stood there.

He was a handsome man, and a good one. Some cute girl should have plucked him up a long time ago. He dated now and then, but never long enough to get serious. Not like me, who jumped into anything at the first sign of acceptance. He was choosy, picky even. I never could get him to tell me what he was looking for. I guess I couldn't blame him. He had saved me from one abysmal failure after another.

The coffee and the aspirin finally beat my hangover, so I went to the kitchen and pulled out some bacon and eggs, frying up the bacon, chopping it and mixing it in the eggs as I scrambled them. His mom had taught me how to do this. I knew it was Roger's favorite. I was slathering too much butter on some toast when I felt him behind me.

"You are such a girl." He leaned down and kissed my cheek. "One day, you'll find someone that appreciates you." He swatted me on the butt and grabbed a plate.

I joined him, and we ate in silence. I wanted to ask what had happened last night. I just wasn't convinced I wanted to know the answers.

"Weather radio says rain all weekend. No hike I guess."

"There are worse places to be in a rainstorm. Maybe Beth got washed off the road into a ditch or something." This time, it didn't hurt when I laughed. "I wonder if she gave that guy his money back for my golf clubs?"

"Let her go, man. That's what last night was for. To get over that bitch. Today, we move forward."

"I don't know Roger. She was a special class of evil. I may need two nights to get over her. I'm just not sure I can handle drinking like that again. My liver might give out. What happened last night, anyway?"

"You tried to poison yourself with bourbon and passed out. I was too drunk to get you all the way to your room, so I dumped your drunk ass in bed with me." He looked at me for a few seconds like he was planning his next move at chess. "I didn't know you liked to cuddle like that."

"I have vague memories of getting up to go to the bathroom. That's about it. Was it nice?"

"Yeah. Kinda. You could use real tits, though." He grinned, shrugged, and shoved an entire piece of toast in his mouth.

"Yeah. Fuck you, asshole. I paid a ton for these." I pulled his shirt off and bounced my fake boobs at him.

"I thought about it, but it would be better if you were conscious." We were teasing like we always did, but that flash of a memory, Roger saying he would fuck me. What if we weren't?

"Yeah, well, you get to do the dishes. Me and my boobs are going to go take a shower."

Roger's parents weren't here, so the master bath was the only option. Massive walk-in shower. Three heads, two on opposing walls and an enormous rainwater one right in the center. There were handholds on the walls, and a bench his mom probably sat on to shave her legs.

The best part was, no matter how long you stayed there, the water never got cold. Never. Unless you pulled the chain. If you pulled the chain, a deluge of 42-degree water crashed from the rainwater head, freezing your ass off. Roger's dad explained you used it after a sauna. Yeah, there was one of those in their bathroom, too. I'd used the sauna, but never been brave enough to try the ice water.

"Hey, Roger. You seen my purse? It has my makeup in it?" I bounced through the family room to the stairs to go upstairs and get dressed. Stopping at the top, I turned to wait for an answer. "Um, hello. Purse." Dammit. Roger had been checking me out, flat out ogling my ass as I ran up the stairs.

"Um, yeah, sorry. Try my room. I think I tossed it in there. Yeah, sorry." He was completely flustered. We were supposed to be hiking, so simple cotton panties and a bralette, jeans, a long sleeve Henley T-shirt, and comfy socks. My purse was under his bed. Wasn't going to even try to figure out how it got there.

Back to the master bath. I used his mom's vanity to do my makeup.

Roger was in the shower, leaning against the far wall, letting the hot water soak his body. Slowly, as quietly as I could, I opened the door just enough. Reaching in, I grabbed the chain and pulled, running for my life as he screamed and cussed and swore.

I was hiding in the quilt chest at the foot of his parents' bed when he finally found me. Without reservation or regret, he grabbed me, tossed me over his shoulder, threw me in the shower and returned the favor. Fuck, that was cold. I dried myself off and went back to my room to change again.

Roger was back on the front porch, watching the rain, when I found him. This time sitting on the bench we had shared when we drank an entire bottle of bourbon together. I sat next to him, and he handed me a cup of coffee.

"What do you really remember about last night?" He asked in a matter-of-fact kind of way, and that told me it was important to him. He was like that.

"Um, we got drunk and trashed Beth. Teased each other like we always do. Stuff like what you said about my boobs at breakfast. You know, normal bullshit. I think I got a little pissed at something you said, and I tried to finish the bottle myself. Woke up in the middle of the night. Thunder and lightning were everywhere. I peed and climbed back into bed. Pretty sure I cuddled with you, but I do that. That's about it. Why?"

"Nothing really. I think I might have said some pretty crazy shit. I just wanted to make sure you weren't upset or anything."

"Nah, I'm good." Maybe he really said he wanted to fuck me. "Crazy like what?"

"Just crazy stuff. Don't worry about it. I need some more coffee." He got up and went inside. His cup was as full as mine. Shit. He did say it.

It wasn't a heavy rain, but it was steady. The sound of it hitting the trees was mesmerizing. I let it take me away, let it guide my mind as if it had hypnotized me, following that thought. Roger had said he wanted to fuck me.

I wandered through the fog, listening intently for the sound of his voice. Slowly, it all came back. He was drunk, but it still bothered him. He said he'd fuck me, that I was hot, that my red lipstick would look good on his cock.

Back through our history. Every girl he had dated had been right after I got a new girlfriend. Every time he had broken up, was right after my new love had ripped my heart out. Fuck. They were all place holders. It was me. All along, it was me, Sophie, that little girl in the Easter dress he thought was so cute. I was what Roger was waiting for.

I threw my coffee cup out into the rain as hard as I could. It must have hit a rock because I heard it shatter. Back upstairs, I pulled on my boots and my raincoat. Without saying a word, I just left. There was nowhere for me to go. We were miles from anything else. I just needed to be away from here. I needed to think. My fucking best friend was in love with me. What the hell was I supposed to do with that?