AZ Mystery Ch. 01: A Ranger Lost

Copyright 2021 by Limnophile

Permission granted to print or repost for non-commercial use as long as the author is credited.

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I only offer this to entertain. If at least a few people get their feelings tugged around, I consider my mission accomplished. If I can give somebody a few laughs, or inspire an orgasm, that's even better.

Thanks to the editors and authors who have helped me improve my writing from 'Painfully Godawful' to 'Below Average'. I hope at least one of them will look at this and not hate it.

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I tried to clear my head as I woke. Yes, I'm Pedro. Pedro Sanchez-Gomez. I'm a 26-year-old Ranger in the Desert Wildlife Refuge.

Mama kept asking me why I didn't find a nice girl and make her some grandchildren. I want some, but haven't found a woman I can get along with. Cathy drank a lot and wanted to argue about every little thing. Manuela was nice, but her father always bugged her to find a rich guy, not a 'peon with a badge'.

I'm so thirsty! My throat hurts, and I feel so hot!

I opened my eyes.

Why am I naked, and laying on the sand? Why am I at the base of a cliff? It's totally vertical, probably forty or fifty meters high. Where is my truck? Did I fall and hit my head? If I was rock climbing, why was I naked?

I sat up, then slowly stood. It didn't feel like I was injured at all. Just so very thirsty!

I walked along the base of the cliff forty or fifty steps, and was happy to find water trickling out of a crack in the rock. The slow drips of water pooled in a depression in a large boulder. There were probably three or four liters! Yes! I tested a drop on my fingertip. It tasted ok and felt surprisingly good in my mouth.

I cupped my hands and drank, soothing my parched throat. I washed the dust and sand away from my eyes.

I scanned the horizon, such as it was. I saw other tall cliffs in all directions. The farthest was only about half a kilometer away.

I yelled, "HELLO!" My voice echoed a little. No response. I tried again, "HELLO! I NEED SOME HELP!" Again, no answer.

I walked back to the spot where I woke. There were no tracks, other than the ones I made in the sand in the last few minutes. There were no signs of humanity, or even life.

No clothes, no walkie talkie or pistol, no wallet or keys, not even any trash or plants growing.

Where was my truck? If I lost my truck and my gun without a really good excuse, I'd be fired for sure!

I kept walking, and found another spot where water seeped out from the rock wall. This one dripped much faster, and formed a large puddle! Hundreds of liters! At least I wouldn't die of thirst any time soon. There was another spot with dripping water eighty or hundred paces further along!

I didn't see any way out. I was surrounded by cliffs in all directions. I guessed I'd have to climb. Climbing the first ten meters seemed much easier than usual. I got up about twenty meters, nearly halfway to the top, and the rock in my hand crumbled. I yelled as I fell. "AAAIIIIEEE!"

I hit the sand kind of hard, but only got a few scrapes on my naked back. I was sure I'd be hurt worse, or maybe die, falling that far. I tried climbing again and when I was about halfway up, the rock I was holding pulled out of the wall. I fell to the sand again. Thankfully, I wasn't hurt that time either.

It was really odd. I tried jumping and went up about twice as high as I expected! I took a running jump and landed in the sand over ten meters away! I paced it carefully, almost fourteen meters!

I remembered watching the Olympics, and the best long jumpers in the world were only jumping eight or eight and a half meters!

Am I a superhero? Twice normal strength is a good thing, but not too impressive for a superhero.

I picked up a rock and threw it. It didn't seem to fly any faster than usual, but hit the sand farther away than I expected.

I held a rock at arm's length and dropped it. It seemed to hang in the air a split second, before falling slower than I thought it should.

The sun wasn't as bright as I remembered, and the color wasn't quite right. I thought the sun was more yellow, instead of blue?

This was VERY strange, but there was nothing I could do about it at the moment.

I was getting hungry. I decided I should try to find some food. I circled the whole area, finding water dripping out of the rocks in a total of six places. Finding a natural spring in the desert is uncommon. Two in less than a kilometer is a minor miracle. Six? That just doesn't happen!

There were no signs of food or a way out, but I found a few pieces of broken glass and two empty soda bottles. I could use them to carry water if I could find anywhere to go.

There wasn't much chance of getting more lost than I already was, so I decided to walk to the middle of the area. I saw a large rock pile there. Maybe I could get a better view on top the rocks?

I saw a log and several sticks from a dead tree on the way there. I picked one up for a walking stick. There were hundreds of dead weeds sticking out of the sand, a meter or two apart. Summer isn't kind to plants in the desert.

Five or six small cacti were the only green in sight, and they weren't edible varieties.

I climbed up on the rock pile, and saw about what I expected, cliffs all around, and no sign of people or a way out. Near the far side of the rock pile, I saw a mouse pull a seed off a dead plant.

Life! At least there was something alive, other than me! Somehow the little mouse gave me hope.

I watched it chew the seed, as the sun slowly went down behind a cliff.

That had to be West. I made a mental note of it.

If a mouse could survive in the tough area, I could too. I'd try climbing again in the morning, and ...

A snake jumped out from the rock pile and grabbed the mouse! I gasped and retreated a step.

I didn't get a good look at it, but I was sure it wasn't a rattlesnake. Maybe a pine snake, or a rat snake? Not a dangerous one, at least.

Snake doesn't taste great, but it would be food! I'd have a better chance to catch it when it was cooler in the morning, so the snake wouldn't be as quick. I walked back near the large puddle, before the light totally faded away. I looked for the North Star, but couldn't find it. I was no astronomer, but I knew what the big and little dippers looked like. There were thousands of stars in the sky, but I couldn't find them either. Very odd.

I fell asleep, trying to only get a nap and wake before dawn.

When I woke, the sun was just starting to rise. It was still uncomfortably hot! That was also very strange. In the desert, mornings could be almost dangerously cold, even in summer. It should have been a lot cooler than the last night.

I drank some water, and went on the hunt. I flipped rocks over many times and saw two snakes, but they were too quick and escaped to other holes in the rock pile.

I had an idea! I'd pour water on the rocks to cool them. That might work!

I made at least twenty trips to the puddle and back with my two bottles, and poured them on the rocks. I waited a good half hour for the rocks and snakes to cool down.

I flipped several rocks over with my stick, and saw another snake. I hit it with the stick several times, until it stopped moving. YES! FOOD!

But how was I going to clean and cook it? I had no knife, and no fire.

The broken glass!

I placed my meager belongings near the puddle, and retrieved the broken glass and some sticks.

I carefully used a sharp edge of the broken bottle to gut the snake and remove the head. I peeled the bark off the sticks. It was very dry. Good! I shredded the bark up, and put it in a small pile, with the smallest sticks nearby.

I used a piece of the broken bottle as a lens, and tried to get the bark hot, like a kid cooking bugs with a magnifying glass.

I held the glass a long time, until my hand started to cramp up. I felt the bark. A small piece was hot, but nowhere close to igniting. There were no signs of smoke. I held the glass for at least an hour, but it just didn't work.

I didn't have any string, to make a bow drill fire. I had heard there were ways to just rub sticks together to make fire, but didn't know the details. I hadn't seen any flint around, and had no metal to use it with anyway.

I guess it was raw snake, or nothing. But wait! Maybe I could slice it thin and dry it in the sun? It was worth a try! By the time I had it sliced in long thin strips and set them on a large rock, the sun was directly overhead. It didn't feel any hotter than the morning, but it was very uncomfortable if I moved around at all. My forehead was sweating, and I drank some more water. I stayed in the shade of the cliffs as much as possible, but it didn't seem to help much.

I made four more attempts at climbing the cliffs. Each time I got about halfway up, fell ten or twenty meters, but was almost unhurt. It couldn't be coincidence or bad luck. There was something very weird going on.

I yelled again, "HELLO!" I waited a moment. "HELP! I NEED SOME HELP HERE!" Nothing.

I felt the snake pieces I had put on the rock. They were dry and very tough. It didn't taste very good, and took a long, long time to chew. But it was food.

As I finished the last of the chewy dried meat, I saw another snake grab a mouse by the rock pile.

I was in a tough situation, but now I was confident I could survive awhile.

Tomorrow, I'd focus on finding a way out.

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Report of Caretaker 9042

Species WDT

Subject 071 - Cycle 2

Specimen WDT071 located water and 16/24 qins of prey protien.

Atmosphere is adequate.

Lighting is adequate.

Subject attempted escape 6 times.

Minor health decline to 22/24.

Initial minor distress at normal gravity, subject adapted. Native gravity is X 45/24

Minor hyperthermal distress.

Minor disorientation.

No signs of self-harm.

Unmodified natural tool use observed.

Waste tool reclamation observed.

Successful predation observed.

Auditory communication attempted.

No use of fire.

No tool manufacture.

No written language.

No use of electricity.

No buoyant or powered flight observed.

No use of fission or fusion power.

No dimensional rift usage.

Initial resluts:

Primitive, worth further observation.

Technology level: 2/24

Resilience: 9/24

Progenation: 0/24

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Recommend reducing temperature 1/24.

Recommend additional feeding 2 qins carbohydrates 3 qins fiber 1 qin lipids.

Recommend additional habitat area.

Recommend additional tool raw materials.

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Supervisor 3614 notes

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Temperature reduction 1/24 approved

Supplementary feeding approved

Add habitat area x7914y8562 to original x7913y8562

Add 50 qins iron

Add 5 kiloqins compacted combustibles

Provide small 'natural' fire

Perform inter-species empathy test

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A very loud noise woke me. I looked around and saw it was still a little before sunrise. Lightning struck the clifftop to the East, and there was a loud BANG! Part of the cliff tumbled down! There were several more lightning strikes, but no rain. I noticed it was much cooler, almost comfortable.

I waited until the sun started rising and filled my two bottles with water. I'd take them with me for refreshment, in between climbing attempts.

I went to my usual corner and did my restroom tasks. If I was a little more awake, I might have noticed the few lumps of coal on the ground, before I emptied my colon on top of them. If I had looked, I would have noticed the small, exposed bit of a coal seam.

I walked to the bottom of the cliff the lightning hit and looked around carefully. I didn't see any loose rocks that were likely to fall. I threw rocks upward several times trying to dislodge any, and nothing fell but the stones I had thrown. I wished for luck and climbed.

A few spots were difficult, but I made it to the top! I was ten meters or so lower than the other clifftops, but I could see an open space below about the size of the area I was trapped in. It was also surrounded by high cliffs. There were trees! And a small stream!

I carefully descended into the new area, and was happily surprised to find an avocado tree! There were two ripe avocados on the ground! Food! And there were many more on the tree! I just needed something to cut them open.

I explored a little more and saw a few odd plants. The top of their orange roots stuck out of the dirt a little. I thought I'd seen those in a garden before?

Could they be? YES! Carrots! More food! I pulled one, wiped most of the dirt off, and rinsed it in the stream. It smelled like a carrot. I took a small taste, then started munching on it. It was a little sweet. Nice! I saw hundreds more I could eat later! I wouldn't starve! I guess with all the sweet drinks and junk food I usually ate, I didn't notice the sweetness of carrots before.

I later found a torn, rusty car door. I moved a hand-sized corner of the sheet metal back and forth many times, until it broke off. Two of the three edges were jagged. I hit it with a rock a few times to bend it, so I could hold it safely.

YES! I had a half-assed knife! I rubbed one edge on a rock to sharpen it.

I ran to the avocado tree and quickly ate one. Normally I don't like avocados that much, but it was the best thing I'd eaten in days. Much better than dried snake! I'd eaten too much guacamole once and gotten a stomachache, but two or three a day should be fine.

I tasted a bit of the stream water, and it seemed to be ok. When I could, I should boil it to be sure, but I drank until my thirst was satisfied.

It wasn't much of a stream, only ankle deep and half a meter across, but I was glad to have it.

I wished I still had my bottles, so I could boil water if I got a fire going. I needed both hands to climb, and with no clothes, I had no pockets.

I smelled smoke. I tried yelling again, "HELLO? ANYBODY?"

I searched for the source of the smoke and saw a small plume of white rising from a smoldering tree stump. Lightning must have struck it. FIRE! Yes!

I hurriedly gathered up some dry sticks and grass, and added them to the smoking stump. I blew and blew, encouraging the grass to catch. I saw a small flame! I added more grass and a few small sticks, then a few larger ones. The fire was burning well. GREAT!

The stump and wood I piled on it would be enough fuel for at least several hours, so I didn't have to worry about it going out. There were dozens of trees, and a lot of dead branches. As long as I kept it going, fire was no longer a worry.

What should I use it for first? Water! Safe water was very important. How could I get my bottles over here?

My grandmother taught me to weave baskets when I was a little kid. I thought I remembered how. Maybe I could make a basket with a handle, to use like a sort of backpack?

I gathered up some vines and started ripping the leaves off them. I kept an eye on the fire, to be sure it didn't go out or spread.

Within four hours, and six or seven attempts, I had a basket with a long handle on it, sort of a large purse.

A manly, macho, naked park ranger purse. I chuckled to myself.

The sun was nearly overhead, and the temperature was still only a little warmer than I'd like. Much better than the last few days! I wasn't sure why, since there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I was grateful, but expected it to be much hotter at noon than in the morning.

I checked the fire once more, then took my knife and manly purse to retrieve my precious bottles. I brought a couple of carrots to snack on.

People threw out or recycled millions of bottles every day. To me, mine were very important, maybe even life-saving. The few cents worth of scrap metal I turned into a knife was also critical to my survival. I chuckled at the irony.

When I got back to the desert puddle with my precious bottles, I saw something slowly moving around on the other side of the area. I couldn't see quite what it was, but it was exciting. I might have a companion! Or more food!

I walked over to take a look. It was a goat. I thought of "MEAT!"

When I got closer, I saw the goat had an injured foot and was limping. It would be easy to catch! Great!

I got closer and behind it I saw a baby goat, only a few hours or maybe a day old. The mother still had a bit of dried blood on a rear leg from the birth.

Awh crap! I couldn't kill a mother with a baby.

The baby walked to its mother and drank some milk. Hmmm... at least I might be able to get milk, if I took care of it.

That's better than lamb chops one day, a week's worth of meat I might not be able to preserve, and a lot of guilt.

The baby looked like it was barely getting any milk and complained.

The mother goat sniffed the air and limped toward me. The mother was thin, and I saw her mouth and eyes were dry. She was dehydrated and hungry.

"You like carrots? Come here girl, follow me!"

The mother hobbled after me as I led them to my big puddle. She drank quite a bit.

I decided to make it the goats' puddle. I had other sources, and I wasn't going to drink something with goat spit in it.

She looked at the carrot and let out a "BAAA!"

I tossed the two carrots on the ground, and she quickly started to eat.

I decided to take care of them. Milk would be good, but even I couldn't get any, at least they were companionship. I petted the baby, and felt a lot happier. He called to his mother as she ate a few dead weeds.

I decided on names for them, Holly Hobbles, and Wayne Whiner.

I climbed up and down the cliffs and gathered up as much grass and small plants as I could fit in my manly purse. I chuckled again.

I brought them two purses full of food, and it looked like that would be enough for the day.

I climbed back to my new area again and put a little more wood on the fire. I tied some vines to the tops of the bottles, so I'd have a way to pull them off the fire, then boiled some water.

I had a carrot and another avocado, then checked on Holly and Wayne. Both rubbed their heads on my leg happily and I managed to get half a bottle of milk!

I had to decide where I would sleep. Should I stay with the goats, or keep an eye on the fire?

I figured if the fire went out, I could find a way to make another one. If I lost my goats, I doubted I'd find any more, and I'd miss them.

I laid down ten or so meters from the puddle. Holly sat down near me, with baby Wayne between us.

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Report of Caretaker 9042

Species WDT

Subject 071 - Cycle 3

Specimen WDT071 added new fruit, vegetable, and animal product foods to diet.

Minor health increase to 23/24.

Subject displays strong dislike of compact combustibles.

Unmodified and stage 1 modified natural tool use observed.

Intermediate waste tool reclamation observed.

Inter-species auditory communication observed.

Inter-species empathy observed.

Use of fire observed.

Stage 1 tool production observed.

No written language.

No use of electricity.

No buoyant or powered flight observed.

No use of fission or fusion power.

No dimensional rift usage.

Results to date:

Primitive, worth further observation.

Technology level: 4/24

Resilience: 10/24

Progenation: 0/24

Recommend long distance auditory communication test.

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Supervisor 3614 notes

Move subject 071 and associated objects to habitat area x7914y8562.

Test auditory communication with subject WDT046 in habitat area x7915y8562

Close and sanitize habitat area x7913y8562.

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