All Comments on 'Babysitter Next Door'

I had trouble staying focused; perspective changed without warning, sometimes in the same paragraph, and the present tense writing was very…annoying and the text just didn’t flow.

Loved the story. Needs part Two.

I'm hoping for a follow up that brings them back together, making it more romance than erotic coupling. A great first story, I enjoyed it.

the guy pausing to admire his own muscles after getting out of the shower... exit point, as narcissus doesn't need company, even if the author did it to try and turn the male 'hero' into a superman of some sort.

Unfinished, with a little too much dream time.

A really nice first story. A sequel would be nice. Minor editing would improve it. People “shudder” not “shutter” and in a few places you used he when you meant she or vice versa. Spell check won’t catch those. Reread slowly or have someone else proofread before publishing. Much better than most first efforts. Keep on writing.

More please

Some editing problems and several unanswered plot gaps to an otherwise engaging story. 4*

More please.... It begs for more

Good first story.