All Comments on 'Bacchus'

This needs to be a film.

Probably my main gripe is that Laura just drops out of the story. We don't learn why she never went back to Bron or even if he remembers their time together before his coma. Despite her amazing character arc, there is no payoff on her relatioship with Bron.

Also I found the ending to be a bit depressing. Maybe it's just my deep rooted fear of memory loss, but I didn't care for how Bron ended up, and we'll never know if he ever got all his memories back.

Angelina leaving Bron, if it had to happen, should have been much more gradual. Have them slowly drifting apart, instead of giving me whip-lash.

Upon finishing, I was left with an empty feeling, like I wasn't actually finished. The story is already pretty long, but I think an extra chapter or two would have been helpful in smoothing out some of the problems.

The one thing I don't like about this story is that it's erotica. I have no personal problems against erotica, but I have very sexually conservative family members and friends, and pretend to be the same, so I can't share this story with anybody. I can't think of a better way to say this so please don't mistake it for an insult, it's just a really badly worded compliment: it could be a relatively simple matter to make this story T-rated and spread it around. Sexy discretion shots (avoid directly showing sex) and wording changes in a few places, it becomes obvious enough to keep the spirit of the events while lowering the rating to what could be publicly enjoyed and suggested to friends who aren't into erotica. I usually don't suggest reading material to others, but this is something that I would gleefully spread around if it wasn't so out-of-character for my social persona.

Your story is truly magnificent you truly inspire the good in me and taught me a valuable lesson to not be bitter in lyf.Thank you

I second Ambivalence's post as well it is what I was trying to convey.

I loved this story it was great even though the ending was not what I was hoping for. The only thing I would have liked to see was during the cell scene that Bron got his memory back about the club explosion and basically let Angelina have it, because he did not leave her she left him. I think She deserves to live with that. All he did was save a friend, that he has so precious few of, and that she could not see that. This is just me. But no matter what the story was excellent.

I generally leave comments as anon but this story forces me to log in so that it won't be seen as anything but my true thoughts. I found this story just by doing some random searching on the site and after reading a small bit, I was entertained. After reading about half, I was hooked. After it finished, I was sated.

I know that phrases such as 'work as a full time author' or such is said in so many comment sections and it can become a catch phrase as a way to say good job. However, when I say this about this story, I am not using hyperbole. This had the quality of being a printed book that I might find at a book store.

***SPOILERS***

I was particularly pleased that the romance that had been building from the beginning cratered and Bron wound up with the shy girl. Also that Bailley didn't have her history written out but instead left the cause of her scars to simple clues.

Thank you. I get started reading and can't quit till I finish the complete story.

Bravo!

I kept getting turned off of this story on the basis of the Genies and the part that talks about the sex club genies being killed/raped. Turned my stomach for months. Finally, after months of saying I wouldn't read it, I started reading it again, and was able to get past that scene and discovered what a wonderful story you truly wrote with this. Yes, many of your stories, involve the polyamorous theme. But you do it in a way that is unique most times. I love your writing style, it provides great entertainment both sexually and with the action. I will say I too was upset with what happened between Bron and Angelina, but if we're honest with ourselves that circumstance happens in the real world more often than it doesn't. I mean in the US alone spouses of military members used/still send them Dear John/Jane letters just because they were deployed and the spouse went seeking fulfillment somewhere else. It happens, so no surprise that an author would attempt to capture that. It sucks, but it is a fact of life.

Thank you BR for your constant stories, entertainment, and just the emotion you put into each of your characters.

-J

That was a really great story. I hope you write more in this genre. There are several times that you use Ben when you meant Bron.

I thought my favorite one was about Ben but > you got into this one pretty deep. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I started Bacchus! I dunno what to say...you had my attention thru several packs of cigarettes and a good part of a fifth of good whiskey. Talk about a flight of imagination! That was fun....Thanks again > Scotty /slowrdr@aol.com

Me. But I am green to blue and my scales are a little larger. I am bigger but I think he may be smarter. I don't have as many loves as he does but they have always remained true. I used to live on Easter Island, but the dumb statues don't really look that much like me. I now live in Micronesia, but I don't tell anybody (except my wives) where I am. I am good at standing still for long periods of time and everybody thinks I am vegitation if they happen into my inner island keep. So, if you will quit telling people lies about my cousin, I will grant you the interview you keep begging me for. Now be good for a change and keep your damned mouth shut. Lyn

great character development. Wonderful drama. Please write more!!

Sasha's whole mom bit seemed sort of short... Like there wasn't enough time to like her hate her like her... She just seemed to bounce between what you wanted her to be too quickly for my taste...

And I'm disappointed IN Angelina... Didn't she know Bron enough to know the sacrificing kind of person he was... She SHOULD have known he did what he did because it's who he is, not because of feelings for Laura...

In a way though, she DID know why he did it... She just couldn't accept that because it would mean it WAS her who did the abandoning... He (potentially) sacrificed himself (if the bomb would have blown before he got clear at all) for someone ELSE... She sacrificed their love... For herself.

And it's kind of too bad Gregory hasn't included actual fertility with humans as part of that override... A way of ensuring a spread of this Genie... Especially if the children LOOKED human (all the easier to have them blend in and further disrupt civilizations)...

Would have been funny to find out he was suddenly making these women pregnant when initial testing said it was impossible...

Plus... That would have added another almost horrific level of grief to Angelina... When she found out she could have had a family AND him... Maybe I'm just mean thinking she might have deserved that...

Though you could second story that... Especially if Dale turns out to NOT be such a good guy as he grows into their marriage (what with her lingering feelings for another man no matter what she might SAY)... and her having to earn back the love and support of her friends (who currently aren't likely to Friend Request her) after he leaves her out of the blue, maybe taking their kids, and disappearing off-planet... And her having to deal with being at best a secondary love instead of a primary love having thrown that position away...

Yep, I'm just mean... I find it hard to like someone who throws away love...

But regardless, exceptional story... Had me feeling like crying a few times...

Really great story. Recommend it to any and all.

Who is Joe on page 12?

I really loved this story. It has everything - especially the surprise ending. Like a lot of others, I wasn't thrilled with Angelina's decisions. But, that's life, I guess. Also, Bron's return was a relief. I thought this story was going for tragic ending.

There are a few errors though. A few times, Bron became Joe and someone else I don't remember the name now.

I wonder why the story wasn't titled "Bron". It was all about him and just a little about "Bacchus". But still worth 5 stars. Thanks for the great story.

I'm glad of the way the story was told because it deserves more than the five stars available. The thing with Angelina though, the thought process of an idiot and prior to the bomb she didn't seem a character with low intelligence or EQ. Also, why does Bron feel jealous? He's been having tonnes of sex with many partners (some who he even loved as much as Angelina). Why be upset because she had just one? They could have been polyamorus if the guy wasn't competitive.

“”

While he was in Garroon he didn't plan to see Angelina as she had made her choice very clear and it was still painful to him.

“”

...I should have been taking notes way earlier but got so wrapped up in the story that I blew it off ;)

...I can't believe Angelina did that!! Not even a fucking WORD to Bron!! What kind of worthless fuck actually DOES something like that to someone?! Hell, would have been more fun if Bron had snapped his neck, dropped him in a trashcan and found the nearest trash incinerator to get rid of the body! ...well, it would have felt good for a few hours anyway, feeding the spite dagger, till he cooled down anyway. The only thing I can come up with is that she still loves Bron, married this guy to have children, knowing that he was fast dying of a terminal disease, lol. ...but who knows if Bron would have moved on by then?

I can't believe how much Bron gets the shit beat out of him! ROFL!! School has been the only break! (Pardon pun!;)

...I guess Laura feels bad for putting Bron in a bad spot and is to ashamed to see him. ...I kinda like her!

“”

What?" Bron wasn't sure he'd heard her correctly as what she'd said made no sense.

"The night of the explosion... you left me." She was trembling now.

Bron looked at her, unable to defend himself as he had no memory of the event.

"I don't understand. I left you in the building?"

"NO! You got us to safety THEN YOU WENT BACK FOR LAURA!" she screamed.

“”

Waitaminute here!! Let me see if I've got this right… this psychotic bitch is copping out on his ass because he went back in to save a friend?! ...what, because she almost lost him to the explosion?! So he should have just left his friend to die, worse, knowing she died and he was responsible for her not being able to escape! Screw her! He’s better off!

“”

He suddenly recalled what he'd told Bailley. A part of his heart would always love Angelina and that part was now telling him he had to let her have this.

She needed the lie. As much as she needed children she needed to believe that he'd left her.

She needed it to heal. To move on with her life. To enjoy her new life with her husband and children without reservation.

A wave of pain washed over his soul. Then he sat upright and looked at the crying woman.

"Yes. I did."

“”

OH HELL NO!! FUCK THAT!! Let her off the hook for twisting the knife in his heart? Let her tell herself a lie and live that lie just so she can FEEL GOOD ABOUT HERSELF?! Fuck that and fuck her!

“”

For the first time in his life he wished for the ability to cry.

“”

...that's funny because he was crying with Angelina's dad not too long ago!

...Bailley is the catch of the day though! Love the island retreat! The poor bastard keeps losing his memory, its like a bad soap opera, ROFL! ...and I think a number of TV producers and writers are reading here on literotica, lol! Cause either that or you got ideas from some TV shows, heh. I'll have to look at some of the dates.

The bomb in the building for example, explosion then implosion to a block of stuff! That was in….umm… Agent of Shield I think? With the female star and Tony Starks dads Butler? (That's a mouthful!!) ...and what was that other one, lemme think...OH!!!! NOW I remember! The pendant necklace! Not exactly the same but pretty close generally speaking; Blacklist!! I don't recall the name of the book/information that he was using for leverage but it was very similar in the information's ability, lol.

Pretty good ending for the story, its always hard to wrap up a story and end things where it doesn't leave you feeling wanting or hanging out there! Ironically I wasn't even looking for this kind of story, I just stumbled on it then couldn't hardly put it down!

The story was a blast to read Angelina's actions were the only thing that left a bad taste in my mouth, just seemed so out of character for her and the story. Hell, he should drop by and pay her a visit… bang the daylights out of her and ruin her for other men, heh ;) (once you go blue…;)

Thanks for writing!!

I was disappointed as well that Angelina and Bron couldn't make it work. But I recognize that life does not always work out the way you want. Anything else is childish fantasy. Think of it this way, he deserved her love but she didn't deserve his. Also sometimes if you are with someone and their life is constant drama and strife you tend to distance yourself from them if you want anything approaching a normal life.

What a grand story! Quite recently I stumbled across your work when I started reading the "Ed" stories (One Who Understands, The Most Valuable Gift), which I think are a great introduction to your work. Then on I went to the "Jack" story line, which introduced me to your fantastic ability to delve into SciFi/Fantasy. The Shepherd series was next and I find myself re-reading those while I wait for your next installment.

Yesterday was my birthday and I started the day by beginning to read this work. After the first page I hit the dropdown to see how long the story was. Twenty-nine pages! Happy Birthday to me, indeed!

This story has all the ingredients, mystery, suspense, action, romance and of course sex, without any of them being over done. And the ending! All the various sub plots tied up neatly, with happiness for everyone involved.

Your best work yet, thanks for taking me far away on such a grand adventure!

I have been binge reading a lot of your content and this story especially had so much emotion and was so well written, it actually amazes me a bit. Now for most, the elephant in the room is that twist at the end. I kinda think it makes a little sense considering the image of the character I built in my head. Did I see it coming, not at all, but does it make sense to me, ya Kinda. Overall though, out standing book, wish it had a hard cover even, its so good I would love to put it on a shelf an pick it up it at leisure.

Fuck all of the long winded negative assholes. I enjoyed the hell out of your writing. It was so much more enjoyable reading than all of the stories that are solid sex.

You had me dead to rights for 25 long pages. LOVED every moment. Then you turned your back on everything you had written and pulled a "twist" on us for whatever petty reason that amused you. To build us up for so long, to build the characters to a crescendo like that, to have Bron and Angelina go through SO much and then just thoughtlessly and carelessly toss it all aside for your own amusemtnt has ripped all trust that all GOOD authors engender with their readers. I loved "An angel for Bishop". I saw this had high marks so gave it a chance. I will not be reading any more of your stories as this one has left me too distrutful of you. Profanities aren't needed, but I do agree with the anger and sentiments of the gentleman above. I wasted 2 days on this piece of garbage. You authors always say you read through thoughtful criticmsms. PLEASE consider this and edit this story and give it the pending it deserves.

I don't like being played by an author. Shame on you. You fucking stuck Angelina in my face like a carrot on a string. I fucking empathized with bron's love WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO READ THAT HEART BREAK? How fuckng weak. You made Angelina as dumb as fucking pile of bricks at the end. Inconsistent. shes smart and disciplined enough to make these political maneuvers, but assanine, belligerent, and stupid enough to leave bron because the guy saved a chick? A FRIEND? Fuck that! Fuck you! What the fuck. No. shame on you. You made this story a pile of shit after the bomb. Pathetic. Rewrite it bitch. He never even got over Angelina, he still gets heartbroken when he hears her name on the last fucking page? They never had sex! FUCK YOU! We read this whole fucking story so we could have Angelina and brown fuck. It's what we wanted, but you just turn around and give us the finger by basically having him fuck almost everyone else and then her have children and a future we hoped bron would have? The fuck? Poor treatment to your readers. Do you even give a fuck about us? I read this shit all day for this much of a pathetic ending. swear to god, I'll haunt you to the fucking grave for the shit you pulled with this ending. Fuck this ending.

This story has so much to it, action, passion, romance, heartbreak, war, peace, politics and love itself. This is something worthy of being a book. 10/10, am recomending to all of my interested friends.

I very much enjoyed the character development in this story, which I felt had a good pace, without skimping on detail.

The ending is... tough to deal with. I'm an incurable romantic, so the twist is hard for me to deal with. Have to respect the writers autonomy though, not everyone is so tied to clichés!

Aside from that, 5 stars, despite the fact that I felt the ending was rushed uni as though there was a deadline. I though it was closed out pretty well though, and will definitely read more from this talented writer.

Judge

my primary source for reading material.

I am a voracious reader, and have been reading Lit stories since it's infancy, but it's only been the last year or so it has become my main source for reading.

A few days ago, I finished a long submission by another author; it was a moving and powerful tale, well constructed and executed. It was also the last of the unread stories from the author.

Atypically, I didn't have another author or title 'lined up' to read. I was at loose ends; emotionally impacted by the story I had just finished, and wondering if anything I read, for a long time, would match up to what I had just finished.

'Redstone was on a list of authors I had compiled, in a genre new to me: NonHuman. It's only been the last 30 days I have intentionally chose titles in this section.

As I perused BurntRedstone's list of submissions, nothing jumped out at me. None of the titles grabbed my attention and the descriptions fell short of inspiring interest. Relunctantly, I continued searching. I saw a single word title, Bacchus. "What the heck," I thought, "I'll give it a shot."

That was the moment my life changed; that very moment. I didn't know it, at the time. It would be hours later, and many pages into the world of Bron, Angelina, Bacchus and Walla before I fully realized the impact of my decision to '...give it a shot.'

My sincerest thanks and appreciation to you, 'Redstone, for sharing Bron, and for the hard work it took to bring him to life. His quiet power and wisdom will be with me for the rest of my days.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

My best wishes and deepest regard,

GeoD

PS

I honestly do not recall the title, author or substance of the 'moving and powerful tale' I read just prior to Bacchus.

I thoroughly enjoyed this, as I have with several of your other stories. The only let down for me, as I'm sure it was for other readers, was how Angelina seemed to do a complete turn around emotionally. I know it seems a bit naive and silly to have expected things to turn out well for Bron and all the girls, but it was still a disappointment. Perhaps I am being too critical of a story that was otherwise a fantastic read. Keep up the good work, your writing is captivating and greatly appreciated by those whom you share it with.

I'd have enjoyed this story more if BurntRedstone wasn't so obviously manipulating the plot. Plot should be the inevitable outcome of prior plot and character. It is a disappointment if it is patently a contrivance of the author.

It has all the components of a great story!

I wish Angelina hadn't turned out to be such a bitch. After 20+ chapters waiting for them to finally be together, it was jarring and disappointing to have her character change. Even though I really like Bailey too, it kind of leaves a sour taste in my mouth, rather than satisfaction. The entire ending was kind of bittersweet. He had to die to be able to integrate into their society? He still couldn't live more than a day at a time? It's realistic and I understand your choice but I love a happily ever after so much more than a happily for now.

Either way, a very well developed world. I'll look forward to reading more of your work in the future.

This was a really well done story. I honestly was surprised at Angelina's reason for leaving Bron and ending up marrying someone else. To me, it portrayed her as a silly girl who refused to see the truth. She has absolutely no problem with all of her friends screwing her 'love' every time she turns around, but goes mental when he saves one and isn't mature enough to handle seeing him in the hospital. That tells me Bron had a narrow escape.

Out of all the women I'm glad he ended up with Bailey as she seemed to be the most mature out of all of them. However they all seem to have a 'share and share alike' policy so he doesn't need miss out on anything.

I'm very much enjoying your writing and look forward to reading more from you.

This was a great read. I thoroughly enjoyed it!

why take the lead character and turn him into an invalid with no memory? Have the love of his life marry someone else? and leave us all in limbo?

btw: the continuing problem with the names was way more than annoying.

Possibly the best and most engaging prose I have seen on Lit. Very enjoyable, worthy of Heinline or Sturgeon. The rumpy-pumpy was well encapsulated so it did not detract from the solid story line. Well done!

The world-building was so great but the characters were so dull, flat, and un-captivating I had to stop at page 7. I really thought this was going to be good and Bron was a good character, but all Angelina seemed to do was cry, party, and be stupid. I found it unbelievable the father was okay with her being "In love with him", the love was not beleivable because he was getting close with other women meanwhile she was encouraging it.

The way you introduced the friends in paragraphs was so forced feeling, I would have preferred they come into the story at some point because they are necessary and developed characters. The party scene was the tipping point, the writing as well as the dialogue became so flat and the scene was so cringy I gave up. I feel like it started as a five star story and just descended until I was forcing myself to read it merely because it started so strong. As it got worse and worse I finally stopped. It really was an amazing concept, I just would have loved deeper more realistic characters, not as forced/rushed bonded relationships, and more/better character development.

deceptive title. excellent writing. couldnt stop till i finished the long story!

Hooked from start to end, excellent writing, appropriate levels of hot sex. Winning formula!

One of the best writers

There's a lot of entertaining (and arousing) reads around these parts. But most of them are simply that. Entertaining.

You sir... Made me cry. And laugh. And daaaaw. And yell out loud at my phone at 4AM before tossing it on the floor and trying to fall asleep, fuming mad at the lot life gave Bron.

A few edits (I think Bron's name briefly changed once or twice), maybe some pacing work, and this baby would shine. It was deep, and touching. An excellent telling of a pursuit for happiness (with some sexy sprinkles).

That was a diamond in the rough. Please seek more formal publication of this beautiful tale of compassion and love. Please. More people in the world need to be exposed to it.

-SEA

You show that beauty comes in all shapes, colors and sizes. Kudos

Looking forward to see what you come up with next. You are a very talented writer...both imaginative and entertaining...thanks!!!

Highly enjoyable read. I do think an opportunity was missed though with Angelina and Dale. 'Love is inclusive' seems to only apply when it's a bunch of females and one male. Even if, sexually, they never went any further, the reaction reminds me a bit of the 'open marriage' from One Who Understands.

I agree with the comment about it being a Hollywood movie. Better plot than most nowadays. All, if not most of the sex scenes would probably get dumped but the core of it was great.

You have written a very good read. The situations were well written and well paced. Possibly one of the best reads I have read recently. Please keep it up.

This should be sold to Hollywood as a movie. What a fantastic story! Bravo, Bravo!

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Keep writing!!!!

Absolutely brilliant!!!!!

Congratulations, you delayed my sleep for 3 hours because of this gem of a story. Bravo

Your stories are quickly becoming some of my favorites on this site or any other and they seem to be getting better with each new installment.

Dark, light, sad, funny, witty, and, most of all -- deep. There is an abundance of psychology present in this story.

If I could rate higher than 5/5, I would.