All Comments on 'Bacchus'

What a 'rags to riches' story as a metaphor to love and fulfillment. Shocked that Angelina lost faith and followed her different path. (But not really as my own marraige and desire for family disintegrated, as my wife and her mother blamed me totally.)

I hate Angelina’s response, but I understand her behaviour. I think the months Bron was in the coma was more than she could bear, and her actions were instinctual preservation. I think she needed to be separate from the anguish, and using him as a scapegoat was the safest way. - Honestly, I think her love was not love, but a collection of conflicting emotions that grew out of her need to feel safe after her trauma. That which feels like love is often not. Bron saw her need and chose to ease her pain. - Truly, an agonizing set of circumstances. The good that came out of everything needs to be appreciated.

A truly wonderful story.

Excellent story again. Personally, I think Angelina should have to live with knowing she actually left him, without him having to"give her an out" from it. He went in to save THEIR friend after all

It was an excellent story, as usual. I kinda had the feeling about Angelina about mid way through the story, that something was going to happen that would split them apart. I was hoping, until he heard the news that she and the other guy were married and expecting, that I was wrong, for some kind of reconciliation. I hate being right. I wouldn't expect them to be seeing much of each other ever again. Their last meeting was pretty succinct, I would say: she couldn't face him and accept the responsibility for her choices, and he didn't hate her enough to force her to. Deep down, he will always love her, to some degree or another, and she will always be plagued by that ever so annoying question: "What if...." For some reason, the opening line to "Whiskey Lullabye" comes to mind as I think of this. I am glad that he found a truer love in Bailey, and with Sasha/Alena, and Asami, and shares a loving connection with all of Angelina's former friends (They all seemed to be pissed at her for how she handled the situation with Bron). Also glad that he didn't take out any negativity he had towards her on her father. Overall, a good story.

Um…. I’ve loved everything of yours so far… but…

Man…Angelina… in the beginning she was self centered brat. After the thwarted rape attempt she grew and matured and became thoughtful and self sacrificing. Then what? Relapse? She can’t even break up properly? Can’t muster the courage to tell him that she wants something different in her life? Just ghosts him? Then wants him to sacrifice for her again so she can feel ok about betraying him like a piece of shit that she is? You can love someone, but when they intentionally hurt you repeatedly, there has to be a point when you cut them out of your life completely.

…sigh…

Nice story the whole angelina ending is what kept this story feombeing a 9 out to 10 dropping it to a 7 out of 10. Angelina is a total bitch, completely useless to the story honestly, she left him after everything? Bullshit, hope she dies, also there was no real conclusion, there still much more left to discuss unless theres another part to the story but otherwise not the most resolute ending, regardless it was an okay story, hate the whole angelina thing and it kinda of makes me regret ever reading this but whatever thank you.

Whoa! Up, down and sideways. Great story, awesome ending! 👍

Don’t know how to express myself, as im overwhelmed and taken by heart ….. you’re the genius writing tales which taken my breath away, how can i find words as im not even nearly skilled as you, to honor this to express my feelings to show my speechlessness as im recall the tale i had been reading ….. Genius with a magic pencil ….. this is so fantastic so marvelous as you taking me into another dimension

Thank you for sharing this extraordinary piece ….. ten spaceships 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 and ten hearts 💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝 and ten stars ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

That really was great.

Talk about a rollercoaster of emotions, wonderful story , wonderful writing. A million thanks for sharing.

This was a great story, but I think it deserves a follow up story as it has some loose ends that needs to be addressed in a new story or an epilogue.

What a ride...

You Bastard. You tore my heart out and kicked it around. I guess it's the true sign of a superlative author, because they manipulate your emotions. Really nice end run with the whole Angelina and her Dad Petyr. I honestly thought he was a manipulative badguy. You got me good! 5* a Heartbreaker

This is one of my favorite stories of all time. I felt every emotion, every feeling on the scale. What a beautiful story! You Mr. RedStone are a fucking genius! There isn't any other Author here that comes to even a close second compared to you Sir. You have made this genre now my favorite. Some of your stories I'm reading for the third time because I can't get enough of your stories. Thank you very much, you're the best! 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS!

Can’t think of a better story on literotica. A few ties but this was just refreshing.

Blade Runner Anyone? anyone?

The first I've read from you. Bravo! Really enjoyed the twists and turns. The Angelina thing threw me off. Just wow. Bron ended up with the best

I'm not into harem stories but that doesn't mean I disliked this story. There were some very emotional parts to the story early on that made it worth while to read. Maybe I just hang out with the wrong crowd, but most of the women I know don't want to share their man with other women, even if he's the jolly blue giant with the enormous dong.

Good story but a gilded cage is still a cage! LM

Excellent story!

A have only one minor bit of constructive criticism - a masseuse is female; the masculine form of the word is masseur.

I also agree with other commenters that the breakup with Angelina didn't feel authentic to the story, like maybe that plot element was added later as an afterthought.

I just finished rereading this book and I love it all over again. I know some say that Bron should have ended up with Angelina but I think this was a much better ending.

1. One thing I wondered about was if being a genie required him to be sterile or if his body just had not matured enough to make him fertile? Could that have been changed in his creation?

2. Another thing that I thought curious was how every woman would react to being kissed by him. Could his chemistry have a natural aphrodisiac effect on the human body?

3. I would love to see you write a follow up to this story. You have left a few breadcrumbs that might be explored. Brown’s healing process for one. —The power vacuum now that earth is essentially destroyed. Racism and misogyny continue to exist in this world and there’s the possibility that back stories of Bron’s group of female friends might prove interesting. Perhaps starting with a plot line of Asami, who now is the sole survivor of her clan, being presented with the off earth remains of the family empire. Sasha and Kie would be extremely valuable in this regard. —Or something happens to Angelina as a way to get at her father could spark a new story. Bron may not be IN LOVE with her now, but he’s not going to let a request for help go unanswered. —Perhaps there’s other scientists out there who have been trying to figure out how he was created and use legal and not so legal means to acquire his genetic material and medical information.

4. Regardless, this was a hell of a story and I thank you for sharing it

Another great story..Was sort of annoyed at the Angelina betrayal and the bailey filll in needed a bit more backstory. still a.great story verse.More

Great story until you decided to finish it with cuckolding. 1/5 stars.

Epic story!

Excellent! A moving story that resonates. So many nuances that are instructional and relevant, like "the safe word is stop". It's the only word a sub may be able to remember. It at least gives them a chance if overwhelmed. That said, there is no justification for causing pain, even if someone wants it. That use of power will reinforce damage and corruption. It is not a safe outlet. Be truly honest if you want to care. Great story otherwise. You really are an outstanding writer!

As another reader said, our first love is seldom the one we end up with. Hell, I didn't meet my life's love until I was 42. I was disappointed that Angelina moved on but life is like that sometimes. Your choosing Bailley to settle with was ultimately more fulfilling and satisfying. You seem to like having a gang 'supporting' your protagonist in some of your stories, which is highly entertaining in its own right. Hard to remain humble, eh? Chuckle... Well done, Maestro!

Hello hateful people. It’s not your right to attack someone for negative opinions. The author can address these issues but other readers should keep it about the story. Besides if you really believe that every word should be rainbows and sunshine then you will never be more than you are. We need the negative words to fuel and drive us toward greater things. You can get love from ya mom

On a whole other planet but still has the Irish.

“He'd just have to keep living like every day was his last so he could truly appreciate them.”, and that’s what summarises best this wonderful story full of different and intense characters.

Anon (below) is absolutely right. Just enjoy what you liked about the story....and if you didn't enjoy it, why did you read 27 web pages of it? And if you skipped ahead to comment instead of reading, then your opinion is worthless. Just go away and read some smut you like.

BurntRedStone: another amazing set of characters who we care about after only a few pages. Really impressive!

Okay, many many things to say, starting with, I wish Angelina a lifetime of misery with that dick she married, Bron deserved so much more than that spoiled brat could offer. I didn't like the way the story went with Angelina, but it was realistic, how many people end up with their first loves, really?

Now, onto the comments, to the person who said the author uses (Im paraphrasing) rape themes as a crutch? Have you not seen the stats? 97% of women have experienced sexual harassment, assault or rape. The author isn't using anything but the sorry state our world is in. And before someone comes at me, oh so brave posting anonymously, I don't have an account, I just never bothered, sorry, not sorry. But is it any braver to post under a username that has no links to your identity? In other words, fuck off, and go write your own story, as someone who did just that, it's fucking hard, and having people shit all over your efforts is beyond demoralising, so, as all you rotten little trolls seem not to have learned the lessons the rest of us learned as infants, all me to educate you. If you don't have anything nice to say, shut the fuck up and mind your own business.

It hurts!

WOW, truly a beautiful story! I almost didn't read it, not my favorite genre. 5 BIG FAT BLAZING SHOOTING STARS!

It seams that no matter what the topic is, you excel at it, I definitely see some parallel’s to Ben from your sheppard stories and Ed from walk a mile and those connected stories, I guess you stick what’s works, but that is a good thing, at least I think it is.

I don't know why, well I do but.. I hate Angelina.

I just hate her choice, I hate how it was made and I hate how it was shown to me.

Why? Just why?

I like everything about this but how it ended with her, he clearly loved her and she loved him but noooo, fuck me.

Sigh.

This a good read, but I hate how Bron couldn't have kids and that's what broke him and Angelina apart. Probably my worst fear personally.

God damn it, I will always remember this story, but I don't think a good book should be remembered for how much it angered me.

I'm sorry, but for me this story lost its magic in the last few pages.

At the beginning there are great speeches about personal responsibility, and when the end of the story comes, few finally take it up, starting with Angelina.

I don't use the excuse that she needs that lie to heal, she behaved like a real coward and she has to assume the consequences of her actions.

Laura seems to have shown up solely to speed up some processes, and then outgrow her usefulness after the time of the bomb, as even though Bron saved her life, she goads him into having sex with two strangers, proving that she really hasn't. changed at all, and then doesn't even have the decency to apologize.

Also, I'm not even going to talk about Bron's constant amnesias. I mean, the first time might have been fine as a twist, but repeating the exact same situation a few pages later doesn't make any sense to me.

I think Bron should have stayed dead, that would have forced Angelina and Laura to take responsibility, to realize that they would never really see him again.

I wonder if Angelina would have been able to stick to her stupid "You left me" speech knowing that he did leave her for good now, and knowing that the last time she saw him in his cell, she made him bear the lie of her and take the pain she deserved, despite everything Bron did for her.

I visit your Lit page every day to check for updates and browse stories from you that I have yet to read. I came across this one this morning and must admit I was initially skeptical. 'Non Human' is a category I've never been a fan of but thought... why not.

I'm VERY glad I took the gamble. I love this story. Thank you for the care and dedication you put into crafting your tales. Your characters are immense, and the story lines are mind blowing. I stand humbled by your talent.

I've read the three stories from the author recently. All of them use rape and/or rescue from rape as a plot device to quickly ingratiate the protagonist with the heroine. It seems like the author uses it a crutch. It got old real fast. I only got 1/3 way through the story before I lost interest in the one dimensional characters especially the villains. I put this put up because I really do think that the author has talent, however i feel that they were a bit lazy in framing this story.

I really enioyed this story, I'm slowly making my way through your work. Such a rollercoaster of emotions!

Isn't it interesting that most of the negative comments on stories come from 'Anonymous '...people who have not even bothered to create a digital presence. So sad that they are so angry and yet so scared.

Great story! Any life is composed of unexpected twists and perhaps unwelcome turns...Bron could be any of us. At times we can decide our path, but then sometimes events occur that take decisions away from us. Happiness has never been a guarantee. That's just life!

The ending...appropos . Not everybody could end up with what they desired of Bron, and Angelina had to decide what she wanted most, and she chose.

All in all, a well told yarn with a realistic denoument.

There are no 'happily ever after' endings in life...it's just what you can learn to live with. Five stars.

A bit unothodox, maybe, a certain twist to the end, without a doubt, but remember this is fiction and "anything" can happen in a ficticious world! The story was fun to read, the characters were different but added to and helped bind the whole thing together. I agree that the way things ended with Angelina was sad, but in the end the way you described it was perfect, she wanted kids and couldn't have them with Bron so she left to find another way of being happy. Overall another good story from a great writer who never fails to entertain. And isn't that the goal of each of these efforts? :-)

Impossibly complicated, convoluted, confusing story. I read it till the end just to see how ridiculous it could be. Ten separate theories would have nice. This is utter mess. 1 star.

I think author has a thing for being cuckolded. Seems a theme in his stories. This story was terrible.

interesting story, but sort of a funky ending

This is the worst story ever.

An interesting story, but ultimately a bit sad and depressing by the end.

I have no idea why I waited so long to read this one, A wonderful story but I was so bummed out when Angelina just left and blamed him. I love you plots and the way you tale a story.

Another great story! I share the same thoughts with “Anonymous” below... well, really also with many others. Your stories are fantastic reads. I also lost sleep. Thank-you again for your talent. On to the Shepard series now.

I loved this storey, I don’t normally read this genre as it’s not my thing. This storey is so well constructed, I could not stop reading sat up until 2am last night as it was so enthralling.

I love all your stories, in my option you are one of the very best literotica writers, the Shepard series is my favourite, I really wish you would continue the series.

Thanks for all the enjoyment.

I loved this story and the characters. So well written, keep up the most excellent work!

Thank you for nudging me to read this one-off of yours! I love science fiction and didn't realize that Bacchus was one pf your best. I would've gotten around to it eventually, as your 'lesser' tales are still awesome, but I am certainly glad that you steered me straight on the sweet story. My only complaint is that this seemed like the Readers Digest ( edited for brevity) version that really could have been much longer, and you know you could have made this into another long running saga (like you need another one) very easily. And too bad you had to destroy the Earth (Ka-blooey!), Mother Earth deserved a good fumigation at the very least though! TTFN

This story sets a pretty high bar! I really enjoyed your Shepherd sage, I think this beat. it.

I really enjoy your work. This is an epic story, one which would quite at home in the 40’s and 50’s (those days of romantic SF). I read all of your stories multiple times...this will reread as well. Keep it up!!

Wow. This was an Amazingly well written story. You're writing is engrossing and I'm glad I discovered it

A thoroughly distasteful story conveying the very worst (and few of the best) of human characteristics. There wasn't a single character in the story (including Bron) that a person would want to emulate. After all the really good stuff you have posted, this is one story you should have removed from your listings Sorry for the negative comment on this particular story, but there was nothing in it that all your efforts could turn into a readable story.

Love your work please don't die and author I started reading passed away the writer of "Sofia " passed before end the story your have that same life to them you just won't more thank you

A story about the true dangers in the world, when you are a person of integrity and morals.

I can't form a comment to say how brilliant your writing is.

Love your wrting, your character development. Great story.

Decently good story. Our poor hero suffered thru way more than most could withstand. Beyond the physical damage he ultimately gets the shaft by his maiden in waiting, by what I thought was a very weak point. What was he supposed to do? Watch their friend die. That was hardly his style. Fortunately there was at least a bunch of hot buddies around he could fall back to.

but I can't. It's much like the other one you wrote in 3 parts about the Big Guy that was a Heating and Cooling Savant. That story was much better. I think the problem here was the fact the main character is some weird experiment and then you made most of the story revolve around him and Angeline and then you just made Angeline bail on him with no REAL specific reason. It paints her in a bad light and taints the story. Sorry, but the best I could do was 3 stars on this as it wasn't bad enough for 2 stars, barely.

To be honest, there are many puzzling things that happened in this story and I kind of wish I had stopped reading it about 10 pages in so I didn't waste my time on it.

So glad I found this wonderful story for our current shut-in situation. Way beyond five stars. Thank you for it.

Five stars doesn't do any part of this story justice.

This is a true sci-fi exploration of so many facets of love and being human, the good and the bad. Bron is an amazingly well developed character, as were all the others, and totally believable.

I loved the story. I truly did, regardless of the ending. I understand matching Br0n up with Bailey, and I love her, too. However, I really wanted to believe in the love between Br0n and Angelina. I think it would have been a little bit easier if, early in the story (maybe shortly after the time when Br0n had whispered something to Bailey that was able to put her at ease), you had given us Bailey's backstory. We never found out why she was so scared of men. We only got a hint of it at the end with her work at the women's shelter. Even then, that doesn't give us a true sense of her pain, nor any real information about her past.

If there had been some competition inside my own head between Angelina and Bailey (even if that competition didn't exist between the characters), I wouldn't have felt so much like /my/ world had ended, even if Br0n felt like /his/ had. I really did like the way Bailey and Br0n interacted throughout the story, but I never got the feeling that there was any "I would lay down my life for you" type of love between the two of them (yeah, I know Br0n would lay down his life for all of his friends, but I'm talking about that absolute love of a lifelong partner that it felt like existed between him and Angelina).

I don't know if I'm really making any sense, and I'm not sure if you'll ever even see this, but maybe it will help you or some other random author who understands what I'm shooting at make better plot decisions in the future. I'm really not suggesting that the ending change, just that you should be more empathetic to your readers, even if you have to deliver a bit of tragedy. As it stands, I'm afraid I'm going to carry this pain for at least a few days.

...Yeah, I guess I'm weird like that.

It’s obviously a really good story if I read it all the way to the end but it really fizzled out for me. The character flip with Angelina didn’t make any sense to me and the way Laura’s arc ended was confusing as well. Some really mixed feelings on this one.

so much humanity in non-human

and if there is a description on an ideal "male" that was it :)

I'm not gonna lie my humble ✨sun-burnt star stone of the earth🌞, I stayed up for 12 hours reading this 'all together' wonder. (Due to severe insomnia as well). Besides the point, the literary context you grappled with mixed imperfectly well with the recipe for your 'tragic hero' dish. Shit most of these words I had to search for simultaneously while reading to discover their meanings. More so to the point of this minor critique is that this literature is by far one of the most promisingly edge-bringer stories I have read in all of my years of reading erotica fiction. I, thoroughly, enjoyed the 'not every ending is sunshine and rainbows' perspective brought into play, as well as a couple of major principles of life in general. I do have to agree, however, with most (75%) of the commentors' blatant outcries to the forced separation of our girl Angelina and Bron. Her opting him out of her life plays a crucial and taxing criple on the stories initial, if albeit, crunched ending. It did feel like you guillotining some brightly glowing scenes that were meant to spiral off into about a chapter or two's time period, but hey, it's just a story, not a proposal to the President. And, as an artist myself, I can't knock you for that, because part of being a creator in the arts' field (whether liberal or visual) comes with the natural folly of being prone to unware mistakes and ignorance. And there's never a hot damn thing wrong about that, because hey, you can always speak about it in a sequel to the prequel if wish to do so. You're human, and although Bron isn't, you're both aware that shit is bound to fly and splatter the ceiling. Aside from some of the snide, rude, and bigoted asssmackers (not all of them, but you've seen them to know which ones I'm mentioning) that left you with there tasteful two cents, you've done a remarkable job in creating an immersive world that was innovative, critical, perpetually strong-minded, and a wondrous sea of hope and faith that comes with pain and consequence. Stay strong my man. Although this is the first of your stories that I have read from your archives, I know that you will blow more minds in the future. And it doesn't have to end in bittersweet defeat for the characters of the readers. But uuuhhhh- confidentially- I already knew that once you introduced Bailley into the Edvard Monet picture, the primary love interest would be traded in exchange for the bulletin point on the triangle's angel. So no harm done here. Freakin Premonition Capricorn here and shit....ANYWAYS!! I hope in desperation that you continue through this battlefield of life in general, in regards to the Literotica zone as well. Maybe the next character is a plus size African American female with a luscious Afro, pining for a Bron herself. Nah, that's just my vivid imagination go wild...again.

Smooches and deuces,

Miss SinJaye

P.S.: Thank you!!💗

Really enjoyed this one up until the last few pages. The break with Angelina was powerful but I felt like it came out of nowhere and needed a bit more build up. Same with a lot of the characters actually. It's not how they ended that was off it was how they got there, mainly because we didn't really see/feel it. That being said those last few pages cannot diminish what was a fantastic ride and I really liked this one despite it falling short at the end.

What a beautiful story. This one finally made me sign up because I just kept brooding about it. I loved Bron, I loved the way you developed the story, although it was a little confusing at times and the emotions you put into this. I have a love-hate relationship with how this story ended. It broke my heart when Angelina left. I sincerely hoped they would end up together, but once she got pregnant, I knew it wouldn't happen. I was so sorry for Bron. To be honest, I actually cried (just a little - okay, for an hour or so..). I understand Bron and Bailley fit better with each other and that you needed a plot twist, but at the same time I hope ending of your next story that I will read, (most definitely!) will be happier. Thank you so much and sorry if I somehow managed to mutilate English language, not a native speaker. :)

Loves the character development. I also enjoyed the loss of his first love. That paying just rang so true.

You have some interesting underlying ideas, but overall, Bacchus is underdeveloped, cloying and confusing. With a few emendations — more attention to plot details, the overall story arc and character development — this could be an exemplary story.

I absolutely love your story if I had it as a book I would read it again and again. Yes the sexy parts were nice but I loved it as a story. You did an amazing job.

Brilliantly written, full of surprises, Bron's evolution (and sudden devolution), his love, his pain and sorrow, his broken heart, the twists, trials, and tests. The Greg Taggart twist was especially brutal, as was Angelina's leaving.

I believe I understand your plot twist and Bron's loss of Angelina. It broke my heart, and she was mistaken in her thinking, but it was a plot twist, nonetheless. That part needs more development but it was a noble effort.

In the end, Bron's gentle nature was the clear winner. Thank you for a wonderful story.

Your story was beautiful. My only gripe was how angiline treated Bron in the end. It was counter to her personality from the rest of the story that she ended up a complete bitch. So anyway it was your story so it should be how you want but just know it made me cry for how she treated him.

what will come in the generations that follow. TK U MLJ LV NV

To all you assclowns that were disrespectful go read something else to the author thanks

As a science fiction story, Bacchus just doesn’t make the cut.

You’ve written a story taking place in the far future, and people still carry cell phones? Think of the changes in telephones in just the past 30 years, and extrapolate them over 300 hundred or more. You have characters taking their cell phones out of a purse or pocket to make a recording, as though they were still using iPhones! Or the very heart of your story, in which society now has the biotechnology to create artificial human beings, as well as clones. All that, and there’s no better medical treatment for a concussion than bed rest? They don’t have any way to treat severe bruising? To treat Bron after he’s thrown into a wall, they put him in a medically-induced coma for months? As science fiction goes, it is simply not believable.

Your ending was, well, strange at best. It felt as though you’d written yourself into a corner, with the girl Bron truly loved having dumped him and you needing to do something with the character. So all of a sudden he’s in love with a different girl instead? Huh? It just didn’t work for the character you’d created. And why Bailley?You would have done better to have him wind up with the rather unpleasant Sasha, with whom he had spent far more time.

There are also some writing errors that have nothing to do with its being sci-fi. At one place you wrote “He's going to be an incredible masseuse”. Not unless he gets a sex change, he’s not— the term for a male is masseur, not masseuse. And there were other errors like that one.

You have done better work. I don’t know if this story was rushed, or if you didn’t take the time for rewrites, but this isn’t up to your usual, better-than-the-Literotica norm.

I usually really like your stories, and this one was mostly well written, but you went off the rails completely at the end, absolutely negating the rest of the story. Colossal waste of time.

I've read just about every story you've written and so far every one has been 5 stars, this one included. I wasn't fond.of the bittersweet ending but then not every story has a happy ending for everyone, much like real life. Every one.of your stories is well written and its more than just thw sex scenes. Many other commentors.have said they would make great movies and in would agree. Keep up the writing and I'll keep reading.

An absolute gem of a story. I loved every part of it, every plot twist and nuance. The most pleasant surprise was the last part. The journey of Bron from a being with conditioning to absolute free will. That you even attempted that and didn't end the story before is a serious reflection on the breadth of your artistic vision. That you achieved it so gracefully was the icing on the cake. There were so many things you handled so beautifully.

I love it that the story is not pretty and made up. I love your theme of - Life isn't fair and the best you can do is to live each day to the full with hope. And I love how you stick to that theme to the last. The fact that love and loyalties change and people who were so important once just fade away while some hopefully remain is what this makes a beautiful story. And there are plenty of nuances. You have the selfish actions of Sasha's mother in ignoring her children when they were small and then when her empire was threatened she once again dragged her daughter to danger. The calm and ease with which Asami's sister removes her from her life. A close friend Stephie settling into a new life and just losing touch. All this is what adds colour and depth to the story. The way Bron fails and just has an orgy for pleasure and then experiences the guilt and realises how free will is like a rudderless car without the inner compass of ethics was amazingly executed. It was an amazing contrast to the structured 'cannot do wrong' life Bron had with conditioning. Again as a metaphor that is exactly the kind of realisation all of us go through when we first step out of the shadows of our guardians and learn to take responsibilities for our actions.

And I haven't even touched the big twist. In my opinion your handling of the Bron Angie affair was exceptional. I get it would have been easier to make this an ...and they loved happily ever after, affair. But boy am I glad you refrained from that. I love it how there is no real reason why Angie walked away and how she still subconsciously asked Bron to take the blame to let her move on with her life. Love is fragile. There are a thousand tests that can break it. Tragedies, hardships, suspicions - every relation goes through those tests and it is those that survive that emerge strongest and remain with us for life. Sure that does mean some very beautiful potential relationships are lost but that is life. Beauty isn't the only metric. Tenacity and longevity are equally important. I was reading some of the comments on the site and people were surprised that Angie and Bron didn't make it through after so much build up and anticipation. Sure when one first comes across that in the story it is unexpected. But that is the beauty of it. It is as unexpected for the reader as it was for the character Bron. But aside from that it was not surprising the relation didn't survive. Considering how it went through such strain. The number of times Bron and Angie were separated by fate in dangerous circumstances, I personally think that moment Bron ran off to save Laura leaving Angie already traumatised by the danger worried sick and in terror for his safety for the umpteenth time was perfect to explain the breaking point of their relationship. It is not hard to see how denying public acceptance of their relationship for an elongated time through such profound events will test the relationship to the breaking point. The biggest hindrance to a relationship is the participant's fear of losing the relationship and if unchecked insecurity of loss can destroy all that is good in our life.

I could go on but I think I will stop here. And I will say one more thing. The first story I read written by you was Satyr Play and I came across because it was in the Literotica all time top read or most rated lists, I don't recall which. I loved the story but while that was deliciously fantastical, this is profoundly deep and a real pleasure. I have yet to read your other works but that is a good thing for me. In anticipation of the same.

Thank You for your wonderful effort.

First off thank you for a wonderful story. I really enjoyed how Bron just by his unconditional caring made people better versions of themselves. There were just two things I thought didn't quite fit the story.

The night club scene where he has three women to pleasure. Seemed out of character for our hero. Secondly was Angela, the explanation didn't seem justified. If she had said she couldn't take him constantly getting hurt or she wanted children, or any other reason I don't know it just seemed like a weak reason for a major plot line.

Still I gave it 5 stars. Love your work.

Thank you for a trip to the stars and to the depths. of human frailty. Again as always more please.

I ubderstand why it happened. But dude that ruined the entire story for me. After all the waiting did and it was for not. I'm legit upset. I don't get upset at this shit. Good writing, she should have realized her mistake and left that other guy

Otherwise, they'd be their willing partners for the night. The ladies had been terrified but saw they had no other choice.

WTF Burnt?

Angelina should have had to face and accept her betrayal instead of being allowed to lie to herself about it...just my opinion otherwise loved the story as I love all your works.

As someone who needs to escape from life sometimes these short stories with a bit of excitement are the perfect thing. It is amazing the feeling of loss when the story is over. Truly thank you for writing these.

Enjoyed the story...read it for a break from following another of your continuing adventures...I love a good story and probably have a very different take on your outline and ending for this story...I thought it was excellent. again, Thank you for the time and effort you put into you stories. I´ll now go back to your other big guy and finish that story.

Burntredstone does a nice job of developing his characters. This story is no exception. The thing that is offputting is his tendency to slip in political statements by disparaging people because of the region they are from or their beliefs. Generalizations only serve to alienate. It may be surprising, but Liberals are not always open-mind and contrary to popular opinion; Conservatives are not all closed minded racists and whatever list of phobes one wishes to add.

Case in point, yours truly is religious and conservative but yet appreciates stories on Literotica. Go figure. I think women of all races are beautiful, although I have an affinity for red-heads and asians. My wife of 30+ years, the only woman I had sexual relations with, is neither a redhead or asian. Love has a way of working past preconceived notions.

So please, BurntRedStone, continue to write your beautiful stories, but try to resist the temptation to denigrate those who may not line up with your political views. As you try to convey in your stories, love conquers all. Negative caricatures and applying labels on one group or another dismantles the any bridges that can be built between the two.

Time to step off my soapbox. :-)

Also this story just doesn't have the reread-ability I find in BurntRedstones other works, like The Most Valuable Gift or the Ben Shepherd story arcs. I find those much more enjoyable then Jack's saga or this

This is definitely my least favorite story that BurntRedstone has written. It's three times better then most of the slop you'd find on this site. My biggest grievances is with the amnesia thing and Bron's muddled romances. I effing hate memory loss in stories, it annoys the hell out of me, plus it's not even clear how much he regains by the end of the story. Some of the relationships he has confuse me. I grasp the Angelina and Bailey situations with him. Sasha confuses me because they confess to be in love, but act like casual fuck-buddies most of the time, and never mention it again after the first time they admit it. Also Asami and Lauren seem to have reasons to love Bron, but we never see anything like that. I'll throw in Rhonda because she was there at the end.

You crafted an excellent story. Characters were likeable and lots of action both sheets and booms.

However, you lost your way with the club explosion. The Angelita betrayal was poorly done, Lauren dropping out was abrupt, the gang splitting also seemed out of character considering how tight you portrayed them. Honestly felt like you needed to wrap the story up and pushed through to an ending.

That being said you had a great concept and an engaging protagonist. Your world is wonderfully designed. I enjoyed the read despite my dissatisfaction with the ending.

great story, top notch sci-fi although I have to agree with the few comments I've read that say the ending is a bit off. It's weirdly abrupt to read 26 pages of Angelina being the primary love interest for it to suddenly disappear. It was also far more jarring and out of place than how Ben was handled. It felt very forced, like it couldn't be a happily ever after so shit happens for tenuous reasons.

Still gave it a 5 because the story is fantastic, just a thought for the future

The end seemed rushed and muddled. I certainly do not understand the reason Angelina left, and Bailey's return. I didn't feel it. What kind of relationship does he have with these women? He loves and adopted a child with Sasha, he declares his love for Bailey, and she him. He bangs the other girls occasionally, and Angelina, who loved him so much, leaves him without a word. Very unsatisfying and jumbled ending

Normally I would encourage an author to write more but their story, but this tale of Bron is so wonderfully self-contained and satisfying. Thank you for your writing.

We all know that Angelina was the main love interest here regardless of what you intended. Having her ending be this way just sucked. I figured I would give this a shot after enjoying the beginning of the Ed and Ben stories and then I got to this after reading the ending for Ed and (SPOIILER:) what happens with Margaux and Ben. Seriously man I love your work with character development, scenery, and general plot flow. But the heartache endings keep pissing me off. I enjoy reading the hurt in the beginning of the stories as this gets me emotionally invested, and even some tumultuous ground in the middle if it serves the plot or character growth, but when you end with pain I get this feeling that I would have been better off not reading any of it to begin with.

Nevertheless, I do thoroughly enjoy your writing style above all others on this site. Thank you for the reads and hope to find one that stands out above the rest for me.

Excellent story.... however, Bron and Angelina not coming together was such a buzzkill! They sacrificed so much for their love and it totally was just ended in one paragraph. No drifting apart or realizing that they didn't love eachother like they thought they did... just a boom and gone. Great story until the ending killed it.

thank you for this intriguing and mesmerizing tale

I thoroughly enjoyed this. Bron was a great character!!! I love Sci fi and erotica, you blended them together very well, and managed to combine various forms of erotica! Bravo!

This is definitely one of the best I've read on this site. Some parts felt like it was rushed such as the part of Sasha and Bron on The Hammer. Felt like like it was over in a page. Loved how you made Angeline seem so realistic. A genius is not a genius when it comes to emotions. She's said to be smart but life's not perfect.