Back at the Beach

Then a school bus, on loan from the local Historic Museum of Transportation and Farming Machinery, that had carried Inez and other pupils to the local State primary school over 35 years, drove on to the unformed field carrying the McDonald and Roberts families. They filed out of the bus and finally a huge cheer sounded blasted from the assembly when Inez and her three bridal attendants alighted from the veteran vehicle.

Inez wore a slightly above-knee off-white dress and white veil and Lockie, at his mother's request, was decked out in a formal dark blue tailored wool-mohair 2-button suit, white shirt and cream with black dots bow-tie.

In discussion about music, Inez had suggested she could hire the National Orchestra but Lockie frowned and said that would be too excessive. The conversation died at that point. He gawked when arriving at the wedding venue to find a 14-piece jazz band in full swing. He later admitted to Inez that was a nice touch.

Beginning formalities by welcoming everyone, especially the bride and groom, the master of ceremonies, retired opera singer Kevin O'Toole, announced that the after-wedding function would be held at the racecourse entertainment pavilion and everyone was invited. Inez, Lockie and their parents had agreed to share the tab for that, with Inez insisting she'd pay 50% of the tab as the high cost was due to her reckless extravagance.

Midway through the entertainment that followed the short speeches, the newly married couple slipped away to their secret wedding night destination on Auckland's Waiheke Island, driven to the ferry building downtown on the harbour's edge by one of the bridesmaids, Kitty.

As the ferry arrived at the island's main wharf, Inez seethed, "Omigod, there's been a leak. The fucking news media is swarming around here."

Lockie successfully hid his embarrassment by being the person who'd made the leak to local media and in answering three overseas media enquiries.

A crowd of about 250 people cheered them ashore.

"Just be tolerant Ans I see a couple of TV cameras. Just answer the questions sweetly and honestly," Lockie urged.

"Of course," Inez said.

Dressed in smart casual clothing, they faced the media and Inez said sweetly, "Okay, first question."

"Were you both legally free to marry today?" asked an unattractive and toothy female journalist in an English accent.

"Get fucked and have lessons on etiquette and humanity," yelled the otherwise happy bride, accepting she'd have to agree to the rude bitch who's come around the world for her magazine's scoop.

The crowd cheered and a gap opened in their midst to allow the honeymooners to escape to their waiting taxi.

"Come to my beach house for your exclusive interview on Tuesday," she called to horse-faced journalist from England who was pleading at the open window of the cab, running beside it as it worked its way through the people, ruining her dress shoes in the process.

"Grab her card, darling," Inez said. "Then send a suitable man to her room as our goodwill gesture. I'll pay."

"Yes dear."

The End