All Comments on 'Back to Bristol Ch. 02'

I like how you are gradually building your story.

Boyd

Nice build up on a interesting and well written story. I am going to enjoy this very much. Thanks!

The story has a great deal of depth related to the business side of things, yet has been strangely quiet about the events surrounding the marriage breakup. I'm getting vibes that this may be one of those 'she thought he was cheating so her friend helped her get revenge/peace-of-mind by screwing her' stories.

Still, the whole thing is relatively riviting. Quite an enjoyable read so far.

<p>This story does look like it is a 'she thought he was cheating so her friend helped her get revenge/peace-of-mind by screwing her' story. In addition, we will probably find out that the wife did not want a divorce and that when she showed up at his door (in chapter one) she was wishing/wanting/hopeing for him to fight for her love and to stop her from marrying. And at the end of the story the husband will take most of the blame.</p>

<p>I really hope we do not end up reading chapter after chapter after chapter of 'corporate/business talk' dominating each chapter to end up at the above ending.</p>

I am hoping that the ex-wife stays the ex-wife. After 8 years of calling another man "Dad", the emotional turmoil would be devastating. As for the former in-laws, did they tell their daughter that she was an idiot for cheating on her husband or did they simply take her side and condemn her now ex-husband? I think it would be better torture to ignore Peter "hounddog" Davies and his wife than to dream of ways to punish him. Just my two cents.

I believe the story says by the time the wifey came home and said she's been fucking Davies at work, the boys were about 2 and 3 or so. So the father had had time to influence their early memories. <p>

Furthermore, as he told the dependable secretary (who, for some reason insisted that he both invite Helen to come to England AND call his ex wife that very night: why the rush, Carol???) <p>

In any event, as he told Carol the secretary, too, that he's always remained in contact with the boys; took them places, albeit not as often as he would have liked, partly because of his job, which required that he go where the was told to go. <p>

The boys, therefore, knew him well as their "real" father; and by their present age, 7 and 8, I believe, they know their mother's beloved Davies was merely their step-dad. <p>

But, lastly, I do concur with the last poster that the husband would have a better life if he would simply ignore the life and activities of the ex and Davies, to the extend that they were not involved in his boys' detriment. <p>

The sweetest "revenge," if there's to be one, is to lead the life he's slowly achieved in the last 6 years since the divorce. To put Molly's ghost behind, to only remember the past but not let it dictate one's life. After 6 years, no matter how much you loved someone, if they had been that heinous towards you, most people would go on and forget about that person. <p>

The author did spend quite a bit of time having the main charater tell us about Helen. <p>

I think she should come and make a home with him in England, so they could completely heal each other's wounds, and start a family. Have her be more generous, more intelligent, more loving, and more trustworthy than the character Molly, and also have her love those two boys like the kindest person... and they will have a life that all others envy. <p>

He had accomplished so much now, in terms of the ladder of success in his company, now being the boss of Davies and thousands of others, and back in his hometown, he should find someone who could be the true Molly that Molly never was to him, and creat new memories together... Good memories can really save your life... <p>

Excellent story and very bittersweet and sad story. What's needed, therefore, is not revenge but love and good life with a woman who would give up her arms or heart or life to him before she hurt him or their family. The Helen character, from what the main character described to us, seem to be that woman.

Not to get in a big argument cause it will all be clear in the end, but the story makes several veilled references to one-sided marital turmoil before the wife's affair. For example, the ex-mother-in-law originally liked Chris, only to become cold to him towards the end of the marriage. To me that suggests that she has been talking to her daughter and is being told of her daughter's unhappiness with Chris. A suspected affair is certainly a possible/probable reason.

I don't know if it is true, I was only making a suggestion. But Harry likes to attack me and he is too stupid to see such subtlety.

In movies, when an incongruous concept/thing happens, it is almost certainly a clue because a movie is too expensive to throw such red herrings into the plot. Perhaps GaryAPB is throwing us a red herring, perhaps not.

Now guys...I don;t that's it.<p>

Personally, and after talking it over with a few grumpier than I, I think it's far more basic. <p>

Study boy lover LISTENED to her. Our hero worked all the time, traveled and when he came home, wanted to sit in the chair and rest. <p>

He didn't care enough to play with the kids, to listen to her feelings, etc.<p>

and the stud did.<p>

Why did she come over and tell him about getting remarried? <p>

She wanted him to CARE enough to stop her. To be the white knight and scream NO DON'T LEAVE ME.<p>

Why did she insist on joint habitation for the kids? Not to get rid of them, but to try and FORCE him to actually care for HIS kids.<p>

Unfortunately, we know that he DID(DOES) love her and DOES care for his kids. She read him being tired and working his arse off as disinterest.<p>

So what is MY prediction to what will happen?<p>

Well he calls ex wife, they have a few fights, she realises that they had a MASSIVE communication problem. HE does love the kids and now that he is there will be a VERY active father.<p>

Then they have it out over their marriage, probally with and over the Hilary gal. You know the old :<p>

'why did you leave/hurt that girl so'<p>

'don't you understand, you hurt me so much i can't remarry now'<p>

' oh God, (tear) you DO care! ...what a FOOL I have been'<p>

And we will find out that the loverboy aint so good of a person, and she's just hanging in there. She leaves the guy and they recon back together after lots of tears and pain.<p>

I also wait for some people to be IN on several of these facts. His big boss, those bible quote WILL come back I KNOW it; and/or the personal secretary I bet will be very key, maybe the soon to be moving friends as well.<p>

Can I be proved wrong HECK YES, Gary might have a near miss in this story, I might have read something TOTALLY wrong or we can have a swerve at the end.<p>

But the thing is, I can't wait to see ...<p>

I like your writing style, this is a finely crafted story. There are some subtle clues as to where this all might lead. Such as Molly had always wanted more children. I don't believe Peter is firing blanks Despite the passage of years and the marriage, I believe Chris is still very much in Molly's heart. I am a big fan of reconciliation but I want vengeance also. Please,please, I beg of you do not promote the SOB.

What Dr. Wyldcard said... I really believe that Molly hoped that our hero would fight for his marriage. I think she was unhappy and confused about her marriage. She cried when she realized it was over. I believe that the grass was not greener on the other side - and I believe that the biggests clues for this story are in those bible quotes, "I have been a fool - I have been cast out..." or something like that. I'm hoping we will get less backstory, less corporate details and go straight to the story. I do not need to know about desks, conference rooms or board meetings - I need to know more about the plot of this story. As to reconciliation, forced or not, maybe Molly and our hero can reach a new understanding--maybe they can even become friends again for the good of the children, but I'm one of those that thinks that after so many years after the divorce....after being unfaithful...after not talking about their problems (if she was so unhappy or so alone that she fell for a con man) instead of having an affair, I believe that a reconciliation is not possible.

This hero seems very contained, very thoughtful, methodical and calculating. I don't believe he was even a match for Molly who seems to be very emotional. He's too cold. Not passionate at all (if he is, I haven't seen it). So maybe this is one of those marriages that fizzled out just because their personalities clashed. Who knows? I don't...but, I AM dying to know.

Thanks for the entertainment, author.

I love the story. Interesting comments as to where the author is taking us. I think his boss is proving to be the wise, benevolent, god-like father who was well aware of his marital discourse and the fact that his adversary worked for this new business. He is giving our guy the opportunity to make things right again in his life. His reference to Genesis is the key to where the story is going. Our man will have to work to settle old scores, solve the unanswered questions of his marriage, and find love, trust and respect once again with a new wife; the ultimate revenge. The author's choice of title, "Back to Bristol" is significant. He is going back to the place where his life changed to see if he can make it better.

It really is Gary's story and he seems to feel that being

a father is important. There is a lady who is supposed to be

attractive, super intelligent,and pleasant waiting to step on

stage. My impression from the first chapter was that Myra will be the one to convince Chris that there are trustworthy people in the world.

One thing that is clear, is that Chris grew up in the six years since they got divorced and that at the time he was not 25% of the man that he is now.

From the description of the events it seemed clear that the ex-wife never did expect that her confession would lead to divorce and was hoping to the end that he would step back in to position of husband. Why is a fascinating subject. Perhaps Keith has something to tell him about that and for this reason is scheduling another face to face.

Keep up the great work. I wish that I had patience to wait

until you post all chapters so I can read the whole story at once as I did with the TGI stories. Don't pay any attention

to the hecklers. Write your story at your pace!

Bruce

Maybe it's a combination of the revenge affair and the you-weren't-listening idea? Let's say the mother-in-law has been deeply unhappy with her own marriage and the real indiscretions of her husband. She harps about this and projects these ideas onto her son-in-law. Then old muddle headed Molly takes it all in, does a little math, 2 and 2 = orange, and you have all the ingredients for the story. Oh yeah the protagonist has to be really stiff lipped (also too shamed to want to ask too many questions) and Molly -- questionable math skills or no -- has to be a complete moron, but I think since the loving wife revenge story is the equivalent of a romance novel for men, that's not too tall an order.

Still, I read these stories and I'm on pins and needles to find out what happens.

Critical Popeye

I do feel there is more information on meetings and furniture than is needed for the story. It could be trimmed down more than a little, but you do have the readers wondering where this is headed. It seems to be set up for our hero to learn that his wife had hoped for more from him when she told him she had an affair. If it was a test by her, he failed it. I have no problem with the hero's actions, except he hasn't moved on with his life. That part seems very weak, or at least, our hero seems very weak in that respect. He has the world by the short hairs and still pines over love lost...years ago. There are more fish in the sea!

I don't know why it took me so long to think of this, but maybe Peter Davies is gay and Molly is his good friend/beard.

I was speculating...

That means I was making a silly wild-assed guess based upon limited information. Doesn't mean I'm wrong. Lots of stories on this site have revenge affairs going on without a husband-wife confrontation before hand. It's a Literotica cliche'.

Popeye got it dead right: Chris was pulling off that vedy-vedy British stiff upper lip routine long before the facts were in.

I suppose the point of the story is what really happened leading up to wifey's affair.

to the commentors if a man go after your wife that is war on his ass.now for you who into the enemy and beg don't hurt me i give what you want that not life in the real world.he was betrayed by his wife and her lover,so any man worth anything would want revenge.i know this country men love to share their women and to be cockold,but every man don't play that crap.this what we get from most of your writers.

The idiocy of the commentators making fools of themselves is almost as enjoyable as the story itself. For myself, I think I'll let the author tell the tale because it's his to tell, after all.

I think your writing has matured since TGI Chronicles (which I liked too). This story has good pacing to it, and you sure have folks interested!

More!!!!!

The Story is coming along really good Davies better be looking over his shoulders if he knows whats good for him.

First off - Author - this is great work and displays your talent. That's very much appreciated.<P>

The subject of marital consequence offers a writer so many options to generate emotions and reader interest. <P>

This author has chosen to fill the stage with background and details of days gone by plus what makes our hero tick. What he is made of and his expectations. He has created substantial fodder for the stories mill to grind out. <P>

Patience gentle and not so gentle reader. This is a good Author who provides an entertaining path with all the condiments to chew on. Don't rush through each course as tomorrow brings another building block to assimilate.<P>

He projects respect in his past work and is credible so don't expect any unjustified curve balls from an unbelievable angle. There is character in his hero's and his work to date. This work displays that in good flow and interest as the comments evidence. Slow down and enjoy.<P>

Thanks Author - your portfolio grows with this work in my expectation.<P>

With Very High Regard

Gsry APB

Your story is terrific and I look forward to reading the remainder. Ignore all opinions but your own. You are the author. I hope there are several chapters to come. One is needed to explain the actions of the wife.

What a pleasure to see another mini-novel by GaryAPB. In the vast empty wasteland that is "Loving Wives" on literotica, Gary is one of only two or three actual "authors" who aspire to creating erotic literature. Eschewing the stupid formula pap by most in this category, he consistently gives us compelling plots involving characters who actually bear a resemblance to human beings who reside on this planet. The anonymous pencil-dicks will no doubt be disappointed in the end when the wife does not die in a gutter with AIDS, but for once I choose not to let them spoil a good story.

now ruin mr davies ... a man who would do as he did has no respect for others ..give him the idea what respect is ....make him wish he was fucking dead

Nice development of your story with the humanizing of your hero. In chapter one he seemed like cardboard caricature. Now I get some feel for his personality. I am still disappointed by the fact that in two chapters, you have still not provided any clue as to why Molly left-what happened to cause her departure etc. Very frustraing to get 2 chapters into a good story with a major element of the story still a mystery.

60 year old George

I don't where this is going but I'm enjoying it. I'm going to call it a nite will resume your tale manana

Chapter 02 was as interesting as Chapter 01. You use interesting themes and generate questions in the minds of your readers. Very enjoyable.

I usually comment after finishing a story. However, due to the length of this one I will be intermittently commenting as I read.

Do you lick your balls ???

Oh the wimp cowards love this story. Pathetic. Now the Writer is saying he abandoned his kids. Bullshit! He was replaced by his evil selfish cunt, xwife. It should be titled whiny wimp coward gets replaced. No real man would have whined for 4 fucking years. He had a new younger hot girlfriend that he should have had right along side of him when he took back his kids. Showing the heartless Cunt x-wife that she has been replaced with a much better person. But the Writer wouldnt be getting off if the husband actually had any respect for himself. Boring. Only about 1 page worth of info here. If that and it still shows Chris or should it be Chrissy is a coward.

This is 22 chapters of repetitious garbage, that is mainly about running a business, how the hell it got all those little red H's is beyond me.

Nice writing and character development. Very enjoyable reading. Thanks!

I read two chapters this morning, cant wait to see where this is going but duty calls.

I’ve enjoyed the first two chapters, well written therefore simple to read and absorb. I’m just a bit concerned that hasn’t been in contact with his boys. That would have been the first port of call for me no matter who’s feathers are ruffled

keep in mind the Bristol Stomp. TK U MLJ LV NV

So judgmental! He doesn't need another mother, just an executive assistant. Too bad she is too valuable to be replaced. At least for now.

I can't see how this forwarded the plot much, but it sure is intriguing so I'll give it 5 stars. I like a big boss who does not try to be big. And Carole with an "e"? Now, she's colorful, strong-minded, helpful, shrewd and pleasant. What's not to like?

Paul in Oklahoma

About nothing. Good story, but it should be in a business category. Maybe the next chapter will be more Loving Wives...... 4*

I'm reading this for the second time. Once again I am impressed by the quality of the writing. Can't understand the negative comments that I see here. Perhaps a lot of "commentators" are envious of your ability with words. This is a novel, not a short story! Chris was done wrong by his wife, Molly. Now he must interact with his ex's new husband. That's food for interesting emotional distress. You guys who want an in-by-inch depiction of fucking ought to go elsewhere.

but it better than the score. The character development is astonishingly good.

Fuck this secretary. This "miss moneypenny" interactions are shitty at best and as far removed from reality as humanly possible.

Obviously the author of this story has put mayor thought into the story, but somewhat neglected to think about how to progress the story line without making it feel forced.

W ell done and THANK YOU!! Do carry on, please.

Slow but good dialogue.

This is a Novel.

Character development is good.

4.5/5.0

Well you’re filling this out with lots of information about nothing, so far, I still like the character design but have lost the plot line a bit in the depth of information

Whew ! I’m fairly exhausted slogging through all the unnecessary detail. What is the red H after the description supposed to signify ? I thought it meant HOT. I guess I was wrong. There was absolutely no heat of any kind in this chapter. Going to start one more chapter, but I have doubts about completing it. Let’s see if the temperature rises a bit.

I asked myself, Why would a reader want to know every bloody irrelevant detail about a fictional characters daily life and history? I guess people read for different reasons, some just to pass the time…

Still here! The comments are getting heated oh dear me the standard of readership is falling darn, just like the world is getting more simplistic by the second. Here comes Revelation!

He sounds like an appalling dad. It wasn't at all clear exactly how much time he spent with his kids post divorce but it seemed almost zero. As for his time spent with them pre divorce, pretty inadequate, and taking kids away somewhere doesn't make up for all the other time he should have been present.