Back to the Farm Ch. 11

"Lissy!"

She heard Matt's shout as she stumbled past Gemma but took no heed, her sights on the bathroom door across the corridor. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Jonathan hovering in the reception area, the thunderous expression on his face enough for her to be certain he'd played no part in Gemma's plan. And suddenly, they were all converging on her at once, Matt and Gemma in hot pursuit, Jonathan charging down the corridor towards her.

If she hadn't felt so ill, it might've been comical.

"Please!" she wailed, reaching the bathroom at last and scrabbling for the door handle. "Just let me..." And then to her relief, she was in, the effort required to slam the door closed behind her taking nearly all of her remaining energy. "Oh God, no," she whimpered, slumping against the wall and sliding down the tiles to a squatting position. "Don't be sick, don't be sick, don't be sick..."

She repeated the phrase like a mantra, aware of the furious low voices outside the door but unable to discern any meaning, her eyes closing as she broke into a cold sweat. Sometimes talking to herself worked, sometimes it didn't, but to her relief, this time it seemed to be helping, the churning gradually easing, the coolness of the tiles leaching through her shirt, providing a new focus for her attention.

But when the door opened, she knew immediately who it would be. There was only one person capable of winning the battle of wills that surely must have ensued out in the corridor. She didn't move, didn't look up, instead feeling a weak smile curve her lips as a hand gently stroked a damp curl away from her cheek.

"I promise you, I had no idea she was going to do this. Want me to fire her? Lord knows she's given me enough reason over the years."

Melissa opened her eyes to find Jonathan crouching in front of her, his expression softer than his words. "No," she said, finding her voice unexpectedly croaky. "I think she meant well."

"You know she did." His appraising gaze swept over her face. "And you can't say I didn't warn you something like this would happen. See what happens when you don't tell people the whole truth? I would've thought you knew that better than anyone. You, of all people."

"I know, I know." She uttered a sound that was half-sob, half-whimper as she took his proffered hands and allowed him to ease her upright. "But you know why—ooh."

He steadied her as she swayed. "Yes, I know you had your reasons," he finished dryly, folding her into his arms for a much-needed hug. "But things never stay the same for long and those reasons just aren't good enough any more. Things are changing."

"What things?"

"Well,you are, for a start." She grimaced into his shoulder as his embrace tightened slightly, providing a reminder. "But not just you."

"What?" She lifted her head, puzzled by the odd note in his voice. Through many years of working together she'd come to know Jonathan very well, but in the last few months their relationship had deepened into something altogether different, more father-daughter than boss-employee, though he was by no means old enough to be her father. Funny that in all those years she'd felt so alone. She hadn't been. She'd just spent the whole time pushing everyone away.

"Hey, I'm not saying any more than that. You can figure out the rest for yourself. And I think you should probably make a start on that by talking to that poor chap out there. You owe him that much." He pulled back to look into her eyes. "You owe it to yourself."

"I know." She bit her lip. "I just didn't know where to start. Istill don't know where to start."

He grinned then, squeezing her shoulders. "At the beginning, kiddo. I've heard it's a very good place to start." Then sobering, he studied her more intently for a moment. "Gonna be okay? Take five minutes. Get yourself together, throw some water on your face, take some big deep breaths and think of England."

She drew in her first deep breath before smiling wanly. "All right."

"Good girl." He released her then but turned back when he reached the door. "Oh, almost forgot. Joanna said to invite you to Sunday lunch at our place. The kids are dying to see you again." His grin returned. "Come alone, or bring a friend," he added, leaving Melissa in no doubt as to who he suspected that friend might be. "Doesn't matter either way. You know Jo, always cooks enough to feed an army."

"Okay. And Jonathan?" She hesitated, unwilling to let him go. "Thanks."

He flapped a hand, shot her one last smile and was gone.

When she emerged, the office seemed unnaturally quiet. With Gemma nowhere to be seen and Jonathan hiding in his office, the reception area at first appeared deserted. It was only as she rounded the pillar that she discovered Matt, sitting on a chair beside the boxes of children's toys, his head in his hands.

"Hi."

The greeting came out as a whisper, but Matt still heard, straightening up immediately. "Hi," he responded, attempting a smile.

"Sorry about all that. I thought—I mean, I was sure—at least, I hoped I was—over all that. Oh..." Melissa could hear the words tumbling out of her mouth and knew she was making little sense. "I mean—what I'm trying to say..." She bit her lip. "It was just such a shock to see you there. That's all."

His smile faltered, one hand travelling to the arm of the chair. "I could go. The last thing in the world I want to do is to upset you."

"No." She shook her head adamantly. "Don't. Please don't. You see, the thing is, I've—" God, why was her mouth so dry? "I've missed you. I've missed you so much."

"Lissy." He was on his feet now, moving towards her. "Sweetheart..."

But once again, just as he came within reach, she bobbed away. "How long have you been back?" she asked, experiencing a sharp pang in her chest as his face fell. But it had to be this way. She wasn't ready, not yet.

To his credit, he tried to cover the hurt. "A week. I would've come to see you straightaway but I didn't think that's what you wanted. It was Gemma who told me I should at least give it a go. Though when she told me what she had in mind, I nearly didn't go through with it." His lips twisted slightly. "You've never been big on secrets."

Despite herself, Melissa couldn't repress a smile.

"But she might've warned me."

Uh oh. Not again. "I'm fine. Really."

"How can you be fine?" Matt stared at her, his gaze slowly travelling from her face to her shoulders. "Jesus, Lissy. How much weight have you lost?"

"I—I'm not sure. But it doesn't matter. It's going back on now, that's the main thing. Besides, it's not as though—"

"Did I do this to you?"

Melissa couldn't look at him. How in the world was she supposed to answer that? "It's just one of those things," she settled upon at last. "Nobody's fault."

"Lissy!" He was clearly appalled. "God, I swear, if I'd known you were ill, I'd have flown straight back. I can't believe—"

"Why are you here?" she interrupted, flinching inwardly at the sharpness of her words. She hadn't meant them to come out quite like that. But now that they had, something inside her seemed to snap. "Why now?" she went on, raising her gaze to his. "Were you really stuck out there in Singapore all this time? Could you not make it home, even for a weekend?"

"Hey." There was a dangerous glint in Matt's eyes. "I wasn't the one who didn't phone, okay? I wasn't the one who never picked up any of my messages. I wasn't the one who had the phone disconnected, for crying out loud. Disconnected? Come on, Liss, wasn't that taking things just a little far?"

She swallowed hard. He was right, of course. But at the time... "I didn't know what else to do," she faltered. "You kept calling, and I was so angry." She drew in a shaky breath. "And once I'd done it, I couldn't exactly undo it. And I knew that you'd find out, I knew that you'd know. It was stupid. I was stupid. Just for a change." She turned away with a bitter laugh. "God, whydid you come back?"

In the silence that followed, Melissa found herself forced to study the ficus plant on the front desk. Judging by the way the soil had shrunk away from the sides of the pot, it badly needed watering. Gemma truly was the worst receptionist in the world.

"Because I had to see you. And because I want to take you back to the farm."

A cold wave seemed to wash over her head, causing her skin to break out in goose pimples. "Oh." Suddenly her mouth was drier than ever, as dry as the soil in the plant pot. "Matt, I can't go back. I—"

"Lissy—would you please just look at me?"

More than a little afraid she wouldn't, Matt waited, a guilty lump in his throat. Had it really come to this? Had he blown all chances of reconciliation? Jason had been blunt enough on the subject. "Mate, I think she might've forgiven you," he'd said whilst they were driving back from the airport the week before. "But it's been four bloody months. I've got a horrible feeling you may have left it too late."

Was it too late? He gazed at her, feeling another pang as he reappraised her appearance. Seeing Lissy distressed was bad enough, but to find her a shadow of her former self...

Though something about the picture she made didn't quite add up.

Despite having lost a significant amount of weight, maybe twenty pounds or more, she'd chosen to wear a loose-fitting bottle green shirt that only seemed to exaggerate the slenderness of her face and upper body. Given she'd always perceived herself to be chubby—though to his mind, she'd just been perfectly curvy—it seemed odd she wasn't wearing clothes to flatter her smaller frame. But even more curiously, in stark conflict with her apparent fragility, her flame red hair appeared glossier than ever, her cheeks unusually flushed.

"Lissy, please?" His heart contracted with relief when she finally managed to look at him. "Come with me. Come and see what we've done."

"I can't." She shook her head. "I said my goodbyes to the place already. I can't go back, not now."

"For heaven's sake..."

The interruption made them both jump.

Holding Melissa's handbag aloft, Gemma fixed Melissa with a frosty glare. "You think we went to all the trouble of getting you two together in the same room just so you could carry on being the stubborn cow you always are? And you..." She turned to Matt, her gaze even more disparaging. "What are you doing? Don't give her a choice, don't ask her to come with you. Tell her! Kidnap her if you have to!"

"Gemma!" Melissa's voice was shrill with indignation. "You can't just—"

"Oh yes I can." She thrust the bag into Melissa's hands. "And so can you. I don't want to hear any more of that claptrap about you having said your last goodbyes, all right? You're going with him—and that's final."

"But—"

"Where are you parked?" Gemma rounded on Matt, ignoring Melissa. When he made a vague gesture towards the street, she nodded. "Good. Let's go." And before either could utter another word, she shepherded both to the door and marched them outside.

With her heart beating rather more rapidly that she would've liked, Melissa searched the cars lining the road before sending a puzzled glance in Matt's direction. "I can't see—"

But she was talking to empty air, Matt already moving towards the silver Land Rover Discovery parked outside the pharmacy. She watched in astonishment as he pulled keys from his pocket and zapped open the doors.

"What?" She frowned, pivoting around to Gemma who was watching the proceedings with obvious amusement. "I don't understand. Where's the other car?"

Gemma rolled her eyes. "Why are you asking me?" she demanded, seizing her friend's upper arms and giving her a gentle push towards Matt. "Ask him."

Thus propelled, Melissa found herself right beside the Discovery, Matt opening the passenger door. "This is an architect's car," he said solemnly, mischief in his expression. "Designed to get mud-splashed and filthy."

As she stared at him and then at the car, those very words came back to her as though she'd spoken them yesterday. "You got rid of the other one?"

He shrugged. "You were right. It wasn't really me, it turned out to be bloody unreliable, and quite frankly, I hated it. This is much better." But then he hesitated, looking uncharacteristically nervous. "Come with me?"

She glared at Gemma one last time before peering into the car and casting a dubious glance at the elevated passenger seat. "Doesn't look as though I have a choice, does it?" But as she watched her friend shake her head, the beginnings of a reluctant smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

"Here." Matt sprang forward to proffer an arm. "Let me help. It's quite a step."

"Do you mind?" she retorted with dignity, once again dodging his grasp. "I think I can manage." But when he hovered to make sure, she sent him a murderous look. "Matt!"

"Okay, okay!" He held up his hands. "I get it."

To Melissa's relief, he left her to scramble up alone and by the time he'd climbed in the other side, she'd managed to fasten her seatbelt and was nervously clasping her handbag in her lap. Gemma closed the door and pressed her nose against the glass. "About time too," she said, grinning as Matt obligingly pressed the button to lower the window. "Now for God's sake, don't come back until you've shagged it out of each other."

"Gemma!" Melissa gasped even as she heard Matt's hastily muffled snort. But before she could think of a suitably scathing reply, he'd already started the car and they were pulling away from the kerb.

*

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