Back to You Ch. 07

Just as Oliver finished up with the table, Matty came through the door with two large cold brews and everything bagels packed with every topping the coffee shop had. They ate together, playfully rubbing their bare feet against each other's calves and stealing glances that would normally leave both of them naked in seconds.

A couple hours and one spotless house later, they settled into the couch to catch their breaths. Matt proudly took his favorite spot between Oliver's legs, loving the feeling of the boys strong arms wrapped around his frame. Even clothed, they could feel the warmth the other was radiating. Oliver eventually turned on the TV and the two sat there, half paying attention, half engrossed in each other. Matty didn't know what tomorrow would hold, but if it meant more time with the boy with whom he was certain his feelings for, he didn't care what the outcome would be.

***

By the time Matty made it back home, it was already a little after 9. He quietly made his way through the front door, walking past the darkened living room towards the only light still on downstairs. Just as he stepped into the kitchen, he could see the tall frame of his dad, peeking through the fridge. He called out, not wanting to startle him, "Hey Dad! You're the only one up?"

Mr. Stevens, closed the door shut, "Oh hey Matty. Yeah, your mom went up with Katie twenty minutes ago, but I wanted to get some of that mint chocolate chip ice cream before your sister gets her hands on it."

Matty sat down at the table, "Count me in for a bowl. I'll pick up some after school tomorrow before she even notices." His dad nodded as divided the pint in two, setting Matt's share in front of him as he sat down. Things had been so crazy since Ollie was back in his life that he couldn't remember a time he was able to sit down with his dad like this.

Taking his first bite, Mr. Stevens asked, "Did you have a good time over at Ollie's?"

Matt nodded, barely swallowing before replying, "It was awesome. I mean it's been nice to just reconnect with him you know, after all these years. Like it was definitely rocky at first, but I think we kinda fell into our old ways in due time." He looked over at his dad with certainty in his eyes like for once in his life, he didn't have to pretend that things were okay. They just were.

Mr. Stevens savored the sweetness on his tongue, hoping his next words wouldn't leave a bad taste in Matt's mouth, "You know son, when you stopped talking to Oliver all those years ago, your mother and I were really worried about you. You guys were so inseparable. Hell, Jack Morrison and I always joked that we should buy one of those six bedroom houses just so we could keep you two under one roof!" He looked as Matt cracked a smile as he continued, "And then you came out to us, and we saw how all those kids were treating you differently, and it finally made sense. You didn't want to put your best friend through that. It was your way of protecting him."

He could see Matt searching for words to respond with, but he wanted to nail down his point before anything else. "Your mother and I will support you, no matter what you do", he affirmed. "Just make sure that whatever it is makes you happy."

Matt sat there for a bit, scraping the edges of the bowl, trying to get every last bit of ice cream onto his spoon. After taking in his dad's words along with the rest of his dessert, he desperately wished there was more to be had.

Mr. Stevens, always able to see the trouble that brewed in his son's perplexing mind, reached out once more, "You love him, don't you?"

Matty put down the spoon and looked up at his father with a shock, "What gave me away?"

Simply shrugging his shoulders, Matt's dad resonated, "That night when the three of us got back from Monterey and we saw Oliver for the first time in years- that was the first time I'd seen you crack a smile. And not one of those- "Let me force a smile so no one worries if I'm okay", this was an actual one, thirty two teeth and all." Matt unknowingly flashed the same wide-eyed grin, blushing at the realization that he'd been so obvious. Mr. Stevens continued, "And we saw how you looked at Oliver. Trust me son, I've caught myself staring at your mother too many times to know what that look means."

Matt eased into his seat, feeling the hard wooden slits dig into his back. He confessed, "I think this time we really have a shot..." He held onto that last syllable like a diver, suspended in mid-air for what feels like hours, just waiting to crash into the water.

Mr. Stevens interjected, "But?"

"But I'm scared that I'm going to hurt him again," Matt blurted out. He took a second to catch his breath before weakly continuing, "I'm scared that something's going to go wrong and I'll have lost the only friend I ever had, twice in one lifetime. I- I just can't lose him again, dad."

Mr. Stevens stopped for a second, giving his son time to hear those words out loud. That was probably the first time he ever admitted that to someone other than himself, and he wanted him to feel the gravity of that. Changing tones, he began, "Matty did I ever tell you about the time I took your mother on our first date?"

Matt sniffled as he quickly tried to blink away the tears that had almost surfaced. He welcomed the change of subject, replying, "No."

"It was our second year at St. Mary's and I somehow came up with the bright idea to take her ice skating, even though I had never done it before", Mr. Stevens remembered as he was slowly brought back to that very day. He added, "Little did I know that she was from this small town in Minnesota where ice skating was a religion."

Matt jumped in, "Yeah, she always talks about how the lake would freeze over every winter, and how she and Uncle Jack would spend hours out there with the wind on their backs."

Raising a finger, Mr. Stevens corrected, "See, but I didn't know that at the time!" He went on, "Cause if I did, I would have chosen us doing something else." He laughed at the impending memories, "I spent the first half of the date desperately holding onto that railing for dear life! Then the other half was spent mostly with my ass firmly planted on the ice every time I fell!"

Unable to hold back, Matt let out a stream of laughter that reverberated through the room until he was able to quiet down, hoping he hadn't woken up his mom and sister. Composing himself, Matt asked, "And yet she stayed?"

Mr. Stevens affirmed, "She held my hand through it all, helped me up every time I fell, and even gave me a hand in taking off those godforsaken skates!"

He turned to find Matt's eyes, "The reason why I'm telling you this, which I'm sure you're wondering, is that sometimes you need to let yourself fall. Right now you're so concerned about hurting him that you're preventing yourself from being truly and completely happy." He lightened his voice a bit, "I made a fool of myself that first day and I sure as hell made my share of mistakes, but your mother was there with me through it all." He paused, making sure his boy was looking at him, "If Oliver is everything you say he is, then he'll be with you too."

Feeling he had said everything he needed to, Mr. Stevens stood up and placed a soft touch on his son's shoulder, as if capping off their conversation to leave Matty mulling over everything that had been said. He cleared the two bowls from the table and left them in the sink to soak.

Before he could turn the corner and head upstairs, he heard Matty call out in a soft voice, "Dad?" He looked over to see a slight smile forming at the corner of his mouth as he offered, "Thank you." Mr. Stevens only nodded, knowing that would be enough.