All Comments on 'Bad Daughter - Dark Father'

I am normally the last person to criticise someone else's spellings, I make far too many errors myself. However the sheer number of misspellings meant that I almost couldn't read the story because of them. Kerry was going on "a capper", she was a "dear" in the headlights, and cars were "parted" everywhere, not to mention drinking "pinto" noir.

You had a good idea, they get down to it it, it's not bad, but you need to do more than just run it through spellcheck, you need to read it yourself. I read it aloud to make sure it flows well. An editor, if you can obtain the services of one would help as well.

Please don't think I am just dumping on your story - it wasn't that bad, I am offering these comments to help you get better at telling it.

You are spot on! I actually read the story over many times and missed every note you made. A second set of eyes would have made this a much better read.

Btw you were very polite in your criticism. I appreciate your kindness. A second set of eyes will be used in the future!

Proofread your submission next time, all the errors made the story hard to follow.

Just a note about proofreading. As a graduate student I have to proofread the mess out of my work. You can paste your story into Google and then ask it to read it to you out loud. It's good for catching errors of missed words and such. Our eyes tend to fill in the blanks for missing words. But when you actually hear it read out loud they are easier to catch.

I enjoyed the gentle and intimate way the story came across as. It might be weird to say gentle and intimate with the amount of guys that had sex with Kerry; yet it was. I really like this story and yes proofreading will help, but I do think you have a story with a lot of promise. Several more chapters is needed to fully develop this story, but so far it’s pretty good.

Just a suggestion not that you asked🙂 I’m just adding my 2 cent. A name change would also help in getting others to take notice.... Names like:

1. Shy Daughter-Dark Loving Father

2. The Club

3. Daughter(s) Join Gentlemen Club

4. I Love Daddy’s Club

5. Can I Join Daddy?

Ok you didn’t ask for name suggestions but I read your replies to others and you seem like a nice and respectful person. I hope that all of your stories are as thoughtful as this one. Take care I’m on my way to read your other stories 🤗

Your comments were the first I have ever received that provided real insight to help me write better. I will choose one of your suggested headlines when I write a follow-up. Hope you enjoyed some of my other writings. This one was the most out of character for me to write. In reality I am a hopeless romantic.

Loved it, very Daddy Daughter erotic, I am very wet! Please tell us more, Kerry's discoveries, Daddys adventures! How things develop at home and with the other Daddy/daughter outside of the club. Off to read more from you.💋

That was so good, I read it twice! Love reading out my fantasies from anothers point of view,

loved it, awesome fantasy, from a father of 2 daughters myself !! dream on lol

Good story. One editorial suggestion. You should try to stay with one verb tense, at least within the same paragraph.

Hot story, well told. HOWEVER, it's in desperate need of an editor.