Badge of Betrayal

We both slept until early afternoon and then had one more terrific sex session as a way to say our final goodbye. It was gentler and lacked the ferocity and intensity of the animalistic sex we enjoyed the night before. But it was more sensual and passionate and left us both feeling completely satisfied. If I could describe it best, I would say that it was as close to making love as I had done in quite some time.

We took one final shower together so Caroline could go home to Martin in a presentable state, after which I walked her down to the lobby and personally ushered her into a waiting taxi with one final kiss. I stood at the entrance of the hotel watching her drive away until the yellow cab was completely out of sight. All I could wonder is whether or not my sore eyes would ever behold the vision of my beautiful mother-in-law ever again.

I wasted no time in packing my stuff. I pretty much just threw everything together and then called the front desk to have the valet bring my car to the main entrance. I didn't even bother to officially check out of the hotel, such was the depth of my anger. I just wanted to get back on the road, to get back home and face the coming onslaught and get it over with.

I threw everything I had in the back seat of the big Crown Vic and headed out of the parking lot towards the interstate that would take me back home. The grotesque feeling I now had gnawing at me in the pit of my stomach matched perfectly with the mood I was currently in. I began to wonder what the direction of my life would be from here on out. How would this affect my relationship with my boys? How would this affect my job? Our relationships with our friends? So many questions I had and currently had no answers for them.

I was about an hour west of Minneapolis when I realized that I should probably give Sheriff Roberts a call. I decided to simply tell him that we had a family emergency that Clarissa needed me home for and that I would try and make the rest of the conference if I was able to. I hoped that it would satisfy Bud for the time being and allow me to think of a better excuse over the next day or so. After all, the department and the county were paying quite a big of money for me to attend the conference. And I was new enough in the job that I didn't want to disappoint Bud, either.

I reached for my department phone and punched the speed dial for Bud's cell phone. The phone rang approximately six times before going to Bud's voicemail. It wasn't all that unusual as I knew that he often liked to be inaccessible for at least a few hours each weekend that he spent with his wife Margolene. Margolene was about the same age as my mother-in-law and although still attractive, she couldn't hold a candle to Caroline. Not even a little bit. I decided it was important enough so I called directly to his house phone. After a couple of rings, Margolene answered the phone.

"Hello?" I had to admit Margolene did have a very pleasant sounding voice.

"Margolene?"

"Yes? Who is it?"

"Margolene, this is Patrick Quinn."

"Oh, Patrick! Hello!" she exclaimed. "How is the law enforcement conference going in the big city?"

"It's going very well. Lots to learn," I lied. Truth is, it was as boring as shit most of the time. But before I could go on, Margolene interjected.

"Yeah, that's what Bud says. Actually, he says he is learning more at the hotel bar just gabbing away with all of the rest of the police chiefs and sheriffs there. Bud told me a little while ago that you two are going to the hockey game tonight."

I had to catch myself. "I'm sorry," I said. "What was that? You cut out on me for a sec," I lied.

"Bud says that everyone does more networking after hours than during class. I think it is neat that the two of you can attend that conference together," she went on. "He said you two are going to the game tonight."

I was stunned and an ice cold wave washed over my stomach. If not for my training, I'm sure that I would have lost control and slammed my cruiser into a concrete barrier or bridge abutment. I started to feel shaky all over as the revelation hit me. Margolene had no idea that Bud was no longer at the conference. But if the good Sheriff wasn't in Minneapolis, where could he be? The only place he could possibly be -- at my house, fucking my wife.

I must have spaced off for a few moments. "Patrick?" Margolene asked. "Are you still there, hon?"

I regained focus. "Uh...yes, yes I am. I'm sorry. Um, it's been such a long day I'm not even sure what I called about. I must have hit the wrong number for Bud when I was trying to call him."

"Oh. Okay," she replied, sounding just as confused as me. "Well, tell Bud to give me a call. I'm sure you'll probably see him there soon. Gotta be close to dinner time, isn't it?"

"Uh, yeah. Dinner. Right." God, I was trying to sound normal but obviously failing. I had to end the conversation now. "Well, I better run. Sorry for the mix up." I hung up before she could even reply.

There was an off ramp ahead and a decent sized truck stop. I knew I needed to get off the road and clear my head for a bit or else I was going to space off and get into a wreck.

I pulled into the large truck stop and parked on the automobile side and went into the diner. I went into the bathroom to pee and also to wash up. I thought freshening up a bit might help to calm my nerves. I knew it was going to be a long night ahead so I grabbed a tall coffee while I was in there. I sat down in one of the booths and started to go over everything I knew.

Caroline obviously knew something was going on with Clarissa and had been for a year or more. I suspected or knew that Caroline wasn't going to give me specific details because that would invariably lead to Clarissa knowing who I got the information from. Caroline said that Clarissa was probably fucking someone I knew, someone I possibly worked with. Considering that I wasn't really close with anyone else on the department besides Bud Roberts himself that left him as the only possible suspect. Combine that with the fact Bud's own wife obviously thought he was 200 miles away from home pretty much confirmed everything I needed to know. How could I have not seen this? Jesus, I felt stupid!

After an hour or so and lots of coffee, I felt steady enough to get back on the road again. I should have eaten something but I didn't think I could keep anything down. My stomach was literally in a knot. Two hours later, I was back in Mason County and the scenery started to look familiar again. I took the exit off the interstate and headed west towards US 120 and then north on 120 until I hit Rattlesnake Road. Once I made the turn west, I pulled over to the side and made a mental preparation for what I would see. Obviously, Bud wasn't in Minneapolis and he obviously wasn't home. And if he wasn't either of those two places, then he was most likely at my house. The only thing I could hope for was that Clarissa would have the good sense to send the boys away for the weekend if she was going to be in our house fucking MY boss.

I turned off the headlights and crept slowly over the hill until the farm house was in sight. When I was about 200 feet from the driveway, I parked the cruiser and killed the engine and walked the rest of the way home. Soon, the unmistakable sight of a large white SUV was sitting parked in front of the garage, easily visible under the yard light. The downstairs lights were on and the shades were all down. No upstairs bedroom or bathroom lights were on.

I walked the last 200 feet and slowly made my way toward the front door. I scanned all the windows for signs of movement inside. As I did so, the obvious form of a man crossed in front of the window in the dining room. I gently crept up on the porch and carefully peered inside.

Sure enough, there was my lovely wife Clarissa, dressed only in her satin night gown and an open bath robe on. Next to her with his hand tenderly caressing her back was none other than Sheriff William "Bud" Roberts, dressed only in a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. They looked as comfortable and at-home as the people you would find in any Norman Rockwell painting. The only difference was, they were a couple of cheating assholes who were cheating on ME in MY own home!

I watched them for a few minutes. From their body language, they looked like they were having a minor disagreement about something. The thick front windows prevented me from hearing exactly what they were saying. But after a short time, Clarissa obviously relented on some topic and she leaned in to hug Bud while Bud kissed her gently on the forehead. They embraced for a short while before Clarissa leaned back and looked up at Bud before they shared a very intimate and passionate kiss.

That was too much for me. My blood pressure went from already high to off-the-chart! I was furious as I stood up and burst through the front door of my house like a tornado. Thank God it wasn't locked so I didn't have to kick it in. My abrupt intrusion obviously caught them off guard. Amazingly and instinctively, Bud actually grabbed Clarissa by the shoulders and placed her in front of himself, using her as a human shield against whatever his mind thought was invading the house.

"Patrick!" Clarissa gasped, realizing it was me. "Oh, my God!"

"What the hell are you doing here?" Bud demanded. "You're supposed to be in Minneapolis!"

"Yeah, I know," I said slowly and steadily walking toward the scantily clad couple. "Funny thing is, Bud, SO ARE YOU!!!" I was fuming as I continued walking toward them.

"Now look, Patrick," Bud said holding his hand out towards me. "I don't know what you think this is, but this is not what it looks like."

I stopped in my tracks. "Are you fucking stupid, Bud? Or do you just think that I'm that fucking stupid?"

"No, Patrick, I don't think you are stupid. I wouldn't have hired you if I did," Bud replied weakly, as Clarissa removed herself from Bud's grasp.

"Because," I continued, "what it looks like to me is that my long-time friend and current boss has been fucking my wife," I said sarcastically. "And you know what they always say. First impressions are usually right!"

Clarissa said nothing as she distanced herself from both me and Bud. The only thing she could do was look down in shame and cinch her bath robe closed.

"Alright, Patrick. Fair enough," Bud said. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way."

"Oh, well, apology accepted Bud. Tell me something. How long have you two been fucking?"

"It isn't like that," Clarissa interrupted. "It isn't like that at all."

"What Clarissa means, Patrick, is that she and I aren't just having an affair. She and I are in love and intend to be together when this is all over with," Bud explained nonchalantly.

"What do you mean when this is all over with? And when did "this" actually start? Huh? How long has this shit been going on?" I demanded.

Bud let out a sigh. "It started before I hired you, Patrick."

It was worse than I thought. "I started working for you almost two years ago!"

"Yeah, that's about right."

"It ends," I demanded. "It ends right fucking now!"

"Not gonna happen, pal."

Clarissa continued to say nothing, although tears were now streaming down her cheeks.

"And why not?"

"Because this ends with Clarissa and I being together, Patrick, and it ends when I say it ends. Not you. As I said, we have already made plans."

"Oh?" I said. "Why don't you at least do me the courtesy of filling me in on these plans?"

"Okay," Bud said walking closer to me. "Clarissa and I are in love. We have been for quite some time. I'm going to keep you in your current position until the election is over with next fall. After that, I will publicly announce my separation from Margolene and Clarissa will eventually separate from you. After the dust settles down from our respective situations, then Clarissa and I will take our relationship to the next level."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Not only were they planning on continuing their affair, they were planning on probably getting married.

"And what about me?" I asked. "How are you going to explain to the public that you are having an affair with my wife? What are you going to do if I end up telling Margolene about all of this? Christ, Bud! She still thinks you're at that damned conference, too!"

Bud's face got stone cold and lost all expression. "Patrick, Margolene is not going to find out because you are not going to say a goddamned word about it. And my relationship with Clarissa is not going public until after you and she are already divorced. I've seen to everything, Patrick. There is no way for this thing to end with you and Clarissa still being together."

"Really? How do you think you are going to stop me?" I dared.

"Patrick, I have numerous ways to stop you. Most of them are already in place. I have a dozen reports, violations, investigations and complaints just waiting in the wings. If I even sniff for a second that you aren't playing your part in this, I will absolutely snap your fucking career in two, you got me? I will break you, professionally. You'll be a pariah, no matter how many times you've been shot trying to save little girls. You're now my Chief Deputy. You have a lot of control over department money and program oversight. You oversee investigations, you write a lot of reports. Maybe there are one or two things from your time as a Deputy that followed you into your new position, things I didn't know about at the time but have suddenly come to light now that you're Chief Deputy. Maybe a certain gentleman in the community named Elmer Suggs has been dying to file a complaint of police brutality against you and now we've decided to look into the matter based on some new evidence that has arisen."

Elmer Suggs? No way. I was one of the few people that actually showed any compassion towards that man.

"You see, Patrick," Bud continued, gaining more confidence, "I have thought this through and thoroughly. I didn't become Sheriff by being stupid. Every thing I do in this job has been a result of a calculated decision and meticulous planning."

I stood there seething. "Why? Why would you do this to a friend, Bud?"

For a moment, Bud genuinely looked sympathetic. "I'm sorry, Patrick. I'm sorry that you are married to Clarissa and all of this is necessary. But I have had feelings for her for quite some time." He went over and stood next to Clarissa and added the insult of putting his arm around her. "I simply decided that I had to have her. I decided that I needed to be Sheriff and I became Sheriff. I'm a man who gets what he wants, Patrick."

I looked at Clarissa. She was still too embarrassed or ashamed to even look at me.

"I think the best thing, Patrick, would be for you to pack some things and find a place to stay for a while," Bud said.

"Oh, hell no. If I leave here tonight, your ass is leaving, too. I may have walked in on this fucking mess tonight, but I'm sure as hell not going to leave here and turn my back on it. If you two are going to pull this shit, you sure as hell aren't going to do it in my house. If you insist on fucking and having an affair, I probably can't stop you. You're right about that. But this is MY house and I will NOT allow it to happen here!"

"Patrick, I really don't think you're in the position to make any demands right now. Clarissa and I have already decided what is going to happen. And if there is anything else that needs to be said, it is simply that we should agree that whatever I decide is inevitable."

"Well, Bud, I have a .38 service revolver strapped to my belt right now that says I have the right to make any demand I want to in my own house!. And it also says that a man standing in my kitchen dressed in a t-shirt and underwear had better fucking listen!"

Both Bud and Clarissa stood back as I opened my coat to show the revolver perched on my hip.

"Whoa, Patrick. Let's not do anything stupid right now."

"Go pack your shit, Bud. If it makes you feel better, I'm not staying either. I don't really have a desire to wake up in the same house as my whore of a wife, either. But BOTH of us are going to fucking leave here tonight, you got me? "

"Alright, Patrick. Fair enough. But I need your assurance that you won't hurt Clarissa if I leave."

"Well, Bud," I smiled, 'if it makes you feel better, the only person whose brains I want to blow out right now more than my own are yours. So, no, I'm not going to hurt the mother of my kids. But things are going to get ugly if you refuse to leave my house tonight!"

"Fair enough. I'll go get my things now."

Bud turned to head upstairs and I followed him. As we got to the top of the stairs, he turned into the guest bedroom and the room and bed were a mess. At least they had a tiny shred of decency not to fuck in my own bed, for God's sake.

I made a beeline for the master bedroom and furiously began ripping clothes out of the closet and my dressers. Clarissa followed me into the room. Bud gave her a worried glance as she did so. She shut the door behind her and approached me from behind and put her hand on my shoulder.

"Patrick," she said sobbing,"I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you like this. I---"

"Don't!" I yelled, reeling from her touch like a burned man. "Don't touch me! You do not have the right to touch me without my permission ever again! Any rights and privileges you ever had in this marriage disappeared the minute you stopped being my wife and started being Bud Roberts' fucking whore!"

Clarissa winced and reeled at the insult.

"For years, you have been coming up with bullshit excuses for why we couldn't be intimate. Years' worth of rejection because of your so-called health! Well, Hale-e-fucking-lu-yah! It is a miracle! Apparently Bud Roberts' semen was the magic, natural cure you were looking for all this time."

She just stood there sobbing as I packed and lobbed insults. I knew the time would inevitably come when she and I would have to have a serious talk about our future. But I was WAY too angry to have that conversation right now.

"Are you proud of yourself?" I growled. "Does it make you happy knowing that you've completely destroyed our family? Taken our kids' father away from them?"

For some reason, the last thing I did before I stormed out of the room was to rifle through both night stands. When I opened the drawer on Clarissa's side of the bed what I saw was a virtual slap in the face. I reached in and picked up a tube of medical cream that was inside and briefly studied the label on the outside. The cream was called Andosterone and it was a prescription treatment for low testosterone in women.

I stood there holding the tube of cream in my hands in total disbelief. I looked at Clarissa who just held her hands to her mouth. She was in shock at my discovery, too, although she didn't seem to hide it well. But, then again, why should she? I had been gone for the past week. I was too angry, shocked and blisteringly hurt to say anything. My reaction and expression was all I needed to say.

I threw everything into an old oversize gym bag and stormed out of the bedroom. I was met by Bud who had been standing outside eavesdropping.

"Downstairs, asshole!" I ordered. Bud complied.

As we got to the front door, Bud paused and turned towards me.

"Patrick, I want your assurance that nothing will happen to Clarissa. As you can see, she's pretty upset. I really think one of us needs to stay with her. Let's think about her first, Pat." God, the condescension in his voice just made me want to punch him in his goddamned throat.

"Clarissa will be fine, Bud. But you won't if you don't get the fuck out of my house!"