Badge of Betrayal

Bud just looked at me for a few moments with the look on his face of a father disappointed in his insolent child. It made me want to cut off his eyelids. Finally, he turned towards Clarissa and said, "I'll call you soon, I promise." Then he tried to lean in for a kiss.

"Don't! " I warned. "Don't fucking do that. I don't give a shit what you do when I'm not around and away from this house but I will not be disrespected by you two for one more fucking minute! I swear to God, Bud, if you so much as blow her a kiss as you leave I will beat the fucking shit out of you."

Reluctantly, Bud backed away and started toward the door. Clarissa didn't look at either of us. As I turned to leave myself, I stood at the doorway and just glared at her. She stood there still dressed in her little nightie. Any man in his right mind would have found her incredibly sexy and desirous. But all I could feel was the black emptiness of contempt.

"By the way, Bud, I couldn't help but notice how you used my soon-to-be-ex-wife as a human shield the minute I burst through my own front door. Funny seeing that as you now seem to be so concerned about her well-being. God, you are a pathetic excuse for a man!"

Bud said nothing, gave Clarissa one last look for goodbye and headed out the door.

The cold of the night matched my feelings as I walked the distance back to my car. Bud pulled out slowly and followed me to make sure that I didn't double back, just as he knew that I would be watching him, too.

I drove the ten miles back to Red River Falls and checked myself into the Skyline Drive Motel, one of the city's less-reputable inns. The only thing missing was the hourly rate. As much as I hated to, I went ahead paid for the monthly rate of $300. Yeah, you can probably imagine what kind of a place it was for $300 a month. I just hoped they washed the sheets at least once a week.

I threw all of my bags down on the bed and just slumped down in one of the dingy chairs and started weeping. All of my frustrations over the past two years came pouring out of me. All of the guilt and shame that I had felt over the past year over what had been going on between Caroline and I, the pointless arguments between Clarissa and I and all of the emotional distance - it all came pouring out of me in that nasty motel room. The dreams of the future for my family and I living out in the country was now a distant memory. All of our plans lay in ruins. I had been grossly betrayed by the woman I loved and by a man that I had respected, admired and loved as a friend.

Sleep that night came in fits and was only aided with the purchase of a bottle of cheap wine downed in a plastic motel room cup. I didn't go overboard, but still drank nearly half the bottle that night. Not enough to get stupid drunk but it was at least enough to take the edge off.

I managed to crawl into the shower Sunday morning and make myself presentable. I took myself and all of my Catholic guilt to Mass at St Matthew's that morning. I guess I wanted to be somewhere that I felt safe, a place I could start to heal and begin looking for answers.

The overwhelming thought I had was what all of this was going to do to my sons. Their entire world was about to get ripped apart and they didn't even know it yet. I had no idea what was going to happen, whether either one of us would be able to keep the acreage. Bud didn't strike me as a hobby farmer or rancher but I had no idea what his ultimate plans were. I was pretty sure that they didn't involve me staying at the Sheriff's department. How could he? He had every intention of leaving his own wife after next year's election and subsequently marrying my own wife.

A plan was needed. I had to approach this in a methodical way. I had to start thinking like a cop and pursue all of this like a police investigation. I knew the who, the what and the where for the most part. I still wanted to know the how and the why of it all. How had they been hiding this and how did Bud plan to pull it all off? Why did Clarissa go along with it all and what was her ultimate motive?

I thought back to what Bud had said about Elmer Suggs. Elmer Suggs was an African American gentleman who lived primarily in Red River Falls. I say primarily because he was homeless and generally just existed in Red River Falls. Elmer was in his late 60's, or so I guessed, and we had had dealings with him numerous times over the years going all the way back to when I was still a member of Red River Falls PD. He was an extremely pleasant gentleman and had never once given me cause to get tough with him. He liked to smoke a little weed every now and then, which resulted in an occasional possession charge. He had also been caught trespassing and some misdemeanor breaking and entering in the past, almost all of which was so he could get in to some place warm in the winter time. Our local homeless shelter was small and could not house any one individual for more than a total of four months out of the year.

But summers are short in this part of the country and winters are long. How Elmer had been able to keep himself alive this long was anyone's guess. When I was still a member of Red River Falls PD, I once arrested Elmer for vagrancy (yes, it is still an actual crime) on a ridiculously cold winter night when the temperature had fallen to 35 degrees below zero with 35 to 40 mph wind gusts. At least I knew that Elmer would be safe and warm that night, get a hot meal or two and have a place to sleep.

Elmer wasn't mad at me for the arrest and even asked if he could keep the prison blanket and pillow that we gave him. I just made sure our head jailer Bryce Evans knew about it and gave the okay. The local magistrate never pressed the charges, at my request, so the arrest will never show up on his record.

I decided to get in my cruiser and drive around Red River Falls that Sunday afternoon. My drive took me to or past all of Elmer Suggs' usual haunts. About 5 o'clock that evening, I finally found Elmer downtown shuffling past the YMCA on Taylor street. I pulled my vehicle over and parked it.

"Hey, Elmer!" I shouted as I exited my vehicle. Elmer turned and looked at me as he kept on walking. I walked briskly to catch up to him. "Hey, Elmer! Wait up a second!"

Elmer stopped when he realized that I wasn't going away. "Afternoon, Sherf'," he replied meekly.

"It's okay, Elmer. You're not in trouble, I promise. I just want to talk to you for a little bit," I explained.

"Yeah, okay, i s'pose. Can we git some place warm?" he asked in his thick urban accent.

"Sure, Elmer. No problem." There was a small eatery, Otis' Diner, right across from the YMCA. The little greasy spoon had been in business for nearly 60 years. "Are you hungry, Elmer?"

"You know me, Sherf'. I's always got me an appetite," he said leading the way.

The diner was only about half full and Elmer and I got a booth that gave us a small amount of privacy. The waitress came by and I ordered a tall coffee while Elmer asked for a hot cup of cocoa. It was only about three degrees out today, which was unseasonably cold for mid November. So I would imagine the cocoa would taste and feel good to Elmer. The waitress returned shortly with our coffee and cocoa and was ready to take our order.

"Nothing for me, thanks, " I told our waitress.

"Ain't you gonna eat nothin', Sherf'?" Elmer asked.

"No, but that's fine, Elmer. Go ahead and get whatever you want."

Elmer just nodded his head and proceeded to order a bowl of chicken noodle soup, a breaded pork tenderloin, french fries and a large cola to wash it all down with. He politely asked if he could order dessert if he was still hungry and I told him "absolutely." The waitress took our order to the kitchen, leaving Elmer and I alone in our booth. After a minute or two of silence I decided to break the ice.

"Do you have any idea why I wanted to talk to you, Elmer?"

Elmer just nodded, avoiding any eye contact with me.

"And why is that, Elmer?"

Elmer thought for a bit before answering. "'Cuz you in some kinda trouble with Sherf Roberts."

I sat up straight in my booth. "Who told you that?"

"Sherf Roberts picked me up a while back, took me for a ride. Said you was in trouble fuh the way you treatin' me when you's arrested me dat time," he said softly. "Said you was in trouble fuh some other stuff, too, but he never say what. He tell me dat if I don't wanna be in trouble dat I gotta do what he say and say what he tell me to say." Elmer began

"Go on," I encouraged.

"Dat's about it," he said. "Just said he keep me outta trouble if I do what he say."

"Did he offer to do anything to try and help you, Elmer? Offer to get you a place to stay? Some money? Anything?"

"No," he replied dejectedly. "Nobody ever help me. Nobody help when I got kicked outta school. Nobody help me when I come home from da jungle. Only person ever try helpin' me was when you took me to jail to git me out the cold."

I couldn't help but smile a bit at that. Even though I arrested him, Elmer could still see that I only did it to help him and take care of him. Might not be the most ethical thing in the world to do, but it was the humane thing to do.

Elmer's food came and he ate in total silence for the next fifteen minutes. He savored every single bite. As I sat there I couldn't help but wonder how a man like that finds the will to wake up every morning. He had no family in the area that I knew of. The problem was that I wasn't sure I knew how to do something to help him without him thinking that I was only in it for me. If I was going to do anything it had to be something long-term.

Elmer finished eating and ordered a slice of apple pie and ice cream for desert along with another mug of cocoa. Before we left I ordered another sandwich and a bag of chips for Elmer to take with him. I could sense that Elmer was grateful for the meal and uncomfortable about being asked to throw me under the bus for Bud Roberts. But I also knew that he was afraid of going to jail for a long time, too, which Bud would undoubtedly try to coerce him with if he didn't play along. Even though he was homeless, Elmer still wouldn't trade his freedom for it.

I offered Elmer a ride to the shelter for the night, which he refused. He simply took the bagged food from the diner and left. All the way back to the hotel I kept thinking about him and what I could do. The poor guy hadn't gotten a fair shake in his whole life. Red River Falls was a town of about 30,000 people but there were only about 150 or 200 black people who lived in the entire city. That shouldn't mean anything but we all live in the real world and not fantasy. --well, except for Bud and Clarissa, apparently

Elmer was expelled from high school. He'd been homeless and in and out of jail for most of his adult life. Never gotten or asked for a handout the whole time, ever since he got back from the jungle he said. The jungle. The jungle? Of course! The jungle! Elmer was in his late 60s! That means he is exactly the right age to have served in Vietnam! If Elmer was a Vietnam Veteran there might be a TON of ways that I could help him. I made a mental note that night before I went to bed to make a phone call to the Mason County Veterans Affairs office first thing in the morning. If anyone could help Elmer, it would be Rosetta Dirksen at the VA office.

I called the boys that night feigning as though I was still in Minneapolis at the conference. It was obvious that Clarissa hadn't told them anything. They had a great weekend with their cousins, which I was extremely grateful for. I polished off the second half of the bottle of wine I had gotten the night before and drifted off to sleep with the thought of helping Elmer on my mind. Sleep came surprisingly easy.

I woke up with a splitting headache the next morning, which was odd since I hadn't the morning before. At any rate, I was on a mission to try and regain some control over my life. Helping Elmer Suggs was the first step on that journey. I arrived at the VA office right at 8:00 Monday morning. I caught Rosetta as she was arriving for work. She didn't have any appointments scheduled until 9:30 and I literally begged her to give me some time. When I told her it pertained to Elmer Suggs she ushered me in right away.

"I have been trying to find Elmer for years," Rosetta said. "I actually have an outstanding Disability Compensation and Pension claim for Elmer. He has finally been approved for his full benefits." The words were music to my ears.

"What kind of benefits does he qualify for?" I asked.

"Elmer is a Purple Heart recipient for one thing. Secondly, he has been approved for 100% disability rating for PTSD, Agent Orange exposure and multiple shrapnel injuries. The claim is over ten years old but he would at least receive back benefits for one year."

"Not to seem greedy or anything, " I prodded, "but how much would he get, exactly?"

"He's been rated for 100% disabled so he would qualify for about $3000 a month in disability pension. With a 12 month retroactive payment he would receive his first check for about $36,000. Plus, he qualifies for full medical benefits through the VA that will almost provide him with free healthcare for his service-connected issues and reduced expenses for everything else along with his Medicare benefits."

Holy Shit, I thought! All of this could set Elmer up for the rest of his life. He is a decorated Veteran and will have a definite income for the rest of his life! He would have no trouble being able to afford a place to stay and food to eat. Rosetta said that representatives of the VA and the American Legion would provide as much assistance as necessary to get Elmer off the streets and into a safe, comfortable environment.

I left Rosetta's office after almost an hour visiting with her. I was absolutely giddy. If I could facilitate all of this and pull it off it would at least take Elmer out of Bud's sphere of influence and into mine. Rosetta wanted me to try and get Elmer into her office yet today if I could find him.

I spent the next two hours trying to track him down, starting over at the YMCA where we had met up last night. I finally found him over at the Salvation Army's Adult Day Care Center, which he wasn't technically supposed to be at. But they were always generous enough to let him come in for free coffee and to warm up for a while.

I did just about everything short of kidnapping Elmer to get him to go with me. I got him to the VA office shortly before noon. Rosetta had called all of her afternoon appointments and rescheduled them. We spent the rest of the afternoon in her office arranging for all of his medical care, health benefits, setting up a bank account where he could receive his disability payments and finally arranging a very nice one-bedroom apartment for him to move into that would be ready at the end of the week. Rosetta also pulled some strings and arranged for a full series of medical exams at the VA hospital in Minneapolis that would also include dental and vision screenings and a full physical workup. He would need a ride to the VA hospital, which I was more than happy to offer.

We stayed with Elmer for the rest of the afternoon and evening. Rosetta arranged for Elmer to stay at the shelter for a few days until his new apartment was ready for him to move into. When I got back to my vehicle, I noticed I had missed several phone calls. All of them were from Bud Roberts. I figured I would give him a call and find out what the asshole wanted.

"You planning on coming into work again?"

"Depends. You gonna stop fucking my wife?"

"I'm warning you, Patrick. You've got a helluva lot more to lose in this than I do. You might not be able to save your marriage but you can at least save your job and ability to provide for your kids."

"There seem to be a lot of 'mights and maybes' with you, Bud. Right now I don't trust you any farther than I could kick you. You say I've got a lot to lose, Bud. But I've decided to approach this as though I've got NOTHING to lose. You've backed a dangerous animal into a corner. You might want to be careful, Bud."

I could hear him chuckle. "What do you think you have that I should be afraid of, Patrick?"

I smiled as I spoke. "I've got Elmer Suggs." And then I hung up the phone.

I spent the rest of the week doing what I could to help Elmer get squared away. The local group of Vietnam Veterans of America heard about Elmer and seriously took him under their wing. When they heard how long he had been homeless and without support they vowed to make sure that he was never without either again. It was amazing to see them rally around one of their own.

Thursday morning I picked up Elmer from the homeless shelter. He looked like an entirely new man. He was showered, shaved, had a fresh haircut and a completely new wardrobe that his fellow Vets had bought him. Elmer was just beaming for most of the ride over to Minneapolis. It had been years sine he had set foot outside of Red River Falls. He only had a few teeth left in his head and part of the plan was for him to get a complete set of dentures.

We spent Thursday afternoon and all Friday getting Elmer through his exams and appointments. I took some time for myself while I was back in Minneapolis and decided to hit up the Mall of America to pick up the presents for Nick and Jake that I had originally planned on getting while I was here for the conference. Elmer stayed overnight in a medical dormitory for out-of-town patients and I got a room for myself at a Best Western near the airport, which was also close to the VA hospital and clinics.

Saturday morning Elmer and I made the trip back to Red River Falls. Poor Elmer didn't say a whole lot as the dentist ended up removing the few remaining teeth he had. Soon he would have a brand new set of pearly white dentures and he was looking forward to flashing a full smile again for the first time in years.

I dropped Elmer off at his new apartment, which his fellow Vietnam Vets had finished preparing for him while we were gone. They really went all out for Elmer in getting him a decent bed, table and chairs for his kitchen, a small sofa, recliner, dresser and completely outfitting his kitchen with everything he could need. Some of the items were second hand but were probably still better than anything Elmer had seen in a long time. They also stocked his fridge for him while he was gone. A big group of Veterans and their wives were waiting for us when we got back.

Elmer invited everyone to stay and have coffee with him as his first official house guests. I stayed for a while and had a chance to visit for a bit with Rick Kraus, who was the commander of the local VFW and a fellow Vietnam Vet of Elmer's. I asked Rick to do me a favor and more or less help keep Elmer out of sight and mind for a while. Just until I could get some things squared away. Rick didn't ask me many questions or pry. He only said that there was a group of Vietnam Vets who were going to be participating in a ten day trip to Vietnam in a few weeks. Rick would do whatever he could to make sure that Elmer was on that trip.

As I was leaving Elmer's apartment I had just gotten out into the hallway when I hard him say, "Hey!"

"What's up, Elmer? Need something?" I asked.

Elmer struggled to find the words, especially since he still had a mouth full of gauze from removing the rest of his teeth. "I jus' wanna say thanks, Sherf. Nobody ever done for me what you's doin' fuh me right now."

"No, Elmer," I said. "Thank YOU. Thank you for your service to our country. And I'm sorry it took so long for me to finally figure it out."

Elmer just gave me another nod and went back in to rejoin his guests.

I spent Saturday night at the Skyline Drive Motel. Sunday morning I slept in late, went to late morning mass and treated myself to brunch at Perkins before heading back to the farm to feign as though I was just coming home from the conference.