Balancing the Equation

Allgar knew his next answer could affect his work but did not really understand all the possibilities. Truly unknown territory, terrifyingly unknown in light of learning about Maggie.

Slowly Allgar raised his head and looked Freddie in the eye and nodded his head to confirm that all of Freddie's guesses were indeed correct. Freddie sat still for a moment then stood up and walked to the cooler nearby to extract a Michelob.

"You gave only a partial answer, how many years?"

"Thousands" said Allgar.

Chapter 3)

Freddie now had confirmation of most everything he had suspected. Algar's race was indeed very old and had either very long lives or some other mechanism that allowed them to visit a place many times over an almost geological period of time. It really didn't matter to Freddie other than intellectual curiosity. He had a couple of additional points to get to but they could wait for the moment, he needed to take a leak and wanted to talk to Maggie and her oldest for a few minutes. He asked Allgar if they could take a brief break and got agreement. The government guys looked antsy, well they had looked that way all day, and the kids here and there were starting to run out of gas.

He walked over to Maggie after his first need was cared for and hugged her tightly. She did not look at him, just asked "So everything we talked about is true?"

"Yeah" be replied. "I love you." As a tear trailed down, he whispered "I so wish things were different. I feel that I've failed you and our kid and your kids and your husband, everybody."

"Suga'," said Maggie, as a similar tear rolled down her cheek, "I love you too. But you know this ball got rollin' thousands of years back, there was nothin' and there is nothin' you can do 'cept what we done decided. There's nothin' you can do different and that's not gonna stop me lovin' you. Now, get yo white butt over there and talk to your daughter." Maggie leaned back to look Freddie in the eye and said "She knows who her daddy is." Freddie gave her a weak smile and a quick peck on the cheek, then ended his hug and turned toward his daughter.

As Freddie came close, she looked around quickly and walked to meet him on the way. "Daddy" she said as she embraced him.

Freddie just stood there and held her tightly. "I'm so sorry for things baby girl" he told her. "I feel that we've missed out on so much."

"There's nothing to be sorry for." She replied "I've missed nothing, you always brought birthday gifts and were always there when I needed someone besides a parent to talk to. It doesn't change how I feel about my daddy, I've just learned that I've really got two daddies, not just one. Besides" she said with a little grin, "now I know why I'm not as dark as my brothers and sisters! Momma and me talked about this a lot and I feel good about it. I understand it, I don't have to like everything, but I do know what you two mean to each other, and to me."

Freddie really didn't expect this to turn like it had. He had grown to accept things over the years, and like his daughter, he didn't like them but he understood them. Life's logic was a cast iron bitch sometimes. Like now. Best let things go.

"I love you, baby girl." And with that he slowly released his grip on her and turned back toward the picnic table and Allgar.

Allgar had given only passing thought to the possibility that one day his actions over thousands of years may be discovered by Earth residents. His race did indeed have life spans of thousands of years, the result of technologies gleaned over millennia. And his race did indeed have the ability to travel very rapidly through space. He had not yet hinted at the true reason for his prolonged stay on Earth, but he suspected someone as bright as Freddie could have a reasonably good approximation of the reasons. He was almost tranquil now, having thought through many possibilities during Freddie's absence.

While he certainly did not know the final outcome of his day's discussions, he did not envision a scenario that would impact his mission severely. Even if the general population knew he had a long-term, OK, a very long-term presence on Earth it likely would a much smaller impact than had their open arrival 50 or so years back. So, with this fresh in his mind he watched Freddie walk back to him.

Before Freddie got to the table again, he made another stop at the cooler and got two cans of Michelob and handed one to Allgar as he sat down and looked intently at him. Allgar was from every appearance boringly human. Freddie knew Allgar was more than his appearance, but he was not disturbed by it. He was disturbed by what he thought was the hubris he associated with the alien. If his guesses were right, and he intended to find out quite soon, he didn't think the term hubris came anywhere close to covering it. Well, he thought, only one sure way to find out.

"So, you're a farmer then." Said Freddie. Allgar didn't understand where this statement came from and asked for clarification. "You know", Freddie began "someone that makes plans, prepares the soil and plants seeds so they will grow and transform into something more useful." Freddie sat back and watched Allgar's face and body language as he progressed though the many meanings and possibilities in the statement.

Finally, Allgar focused on Freddie's face and said "Farmer. I've never thought of what I do as farming. But maybe there is some merit to that analogy, especially considering your perspective."

"And what is that perspective?" Freddie could feel his body tensing up as he sensed the discussion had just turned his real point of the day. The end of a years-long journey he and Maggie taken always knowing of only a few possible outcomes. None of the possibilities were remotely desirable.

"Well" started Allgar. "Maybe you've just discovered that many things you have held as true over the years may not be true. Maybe you feel manipulated, maybe not in a person way, but in a more general way. Maybe you just feel used. Maybe you feel none of these things, I just don't know. From my standpoint, I never thought I'd be having this discussion with anyone from Earth, well maybe not for some thousands of years."

"So I'm just moving the timetable up some looks like." Said Freddie. "Let me understand part of the scope of the farming if I may. I have to assume that some level of selective breeding has been part of the farming process?"

"Yes, you are correct in that assumption."

"I also assume that certain philosophical ideas may have been planted as well?"

"Yes, you are also correct in that assumption."

"So, if I extend this line of reasoning, I can also assume that a certain level of culling has been necessary along the way." Freddie was now absolutely certain that he knew the answer to this and all of the next questions.

Allgar had not expected this line of questioning and was again entering uncharted territory. Allgar's response was too long and rambling. He felt certain that there was something very important coming his way and had no clue what it could be. If his need to understand the invitation weren't so strong he would have stopped the discussion and left long before now.

Freddie sat there staring at Allgar while his bullshit answer kept coming. Now he knew Allgar was very uncomfortable but just a few more answers were necessary before Freddie fully committed.

"So" Freddie began, "given that culling is a necessary part of farming, and from your rather interesting answer, I will further assume that not all of you efforts have been successful and further, that your extended and repeating presence here on Earth at this time is part of a remediation effort to try to change course and possibly correct some number of failed experiments?"

Freddie knew everything now. Allgar just sat impassively, but Freddie had his tells now. Some poker skills are useful well beyond the walls of a casino. Maggie's nod had confirmed most of the story but Freddie wanted, no, needed to get the admissions from Allgar. Would it matter, probably not, not in the long run. Maggie had another gift that would be explained to Allgar as soon as everyone packed up and left.

Freddie looked over to Maggie who had been watching closely. He nodded, she nodded back and called out to everyone "Time to pack up and go everybody!"

The matriarch had spoken and since most of the family that were still there had been hoping to get a few more minutes with Allgar, Maggie made sure they got their wish. Goodbyes were exchanged, more selfies taken, hugs all round and eventually everything that needed to be packed up was carried back to their cars and they departed. Only Freddie, Allgar and the government guys were left at the site. Freddie glanced at his watch.

Freddie and Allgar resumed their seats at the picnic table. Soon Freddie went back to his cooler and brought back a piece of metal. "If I'm not mistaken that part goes with the one I sent you with the invitation." Freddie said.

Chapter 4)

Allgar's mouth dropped. "How did you get that?" Allgar asked.

"Well, I've got the rest of it and some other items in one of my buildings back in Jackson, but that's no longer important." Freddie stated flatly. "It has given me much, not the least of which is you being here today."

Allgar sputtered "But you cannot have possession of that! It is not allowed, strictly forbidden! I'll have my people find it and retrieve it immediately" and he gazed off in the distance. Freddie chuckled and waited.

Allgar snapped his gaze back to Freddie open-mouthed. "What's the matter Allgar, cat got your tongue? Can't talk to your team? Well, guess what, you haven't been broadcasting since you got here. Seems we've learned a little about your communications from our investigations. Like I said, the item in Jackson has given me much. Well, as will become clear some it has given others much, me nothing beyond the next few minutes. Your silence is what I have gotten, a prize more valuable than gold in fact. You know you really shouldn't assume your old gear and discards are out of reach of everybody."

Suddenly, Allgar knew danger was near but couldn't identify the source. Freddie wasn't a physical threat and Allgar knew Freddie had no weapons. Well, none he could identify anyway. Freddy again looked at his watch and noted the time.

Freddie just sat there watching attentively. He could see emotions run through Allgar, but wasn't certain of all of them. One he did know though was plain naked fear. He remained sitting, not moving, just watching Allgar as he apparently ran though his options. Finally Freddie told him that it was time for another story.

"Maggie and I were in high school, in our junior year. Maggie had a really close friend that was going through a very rough time at home. Times progressively got worse and Maggie slowly learned some details. The girl's step-father had taken to beating her mom. The beatings got worse and over time Maggie's friend came to school wearing long sleeves all the time. Remember this was before air conditioning was widespread and Mississippi early summers here are not pleasant. Well long sleeves in hot weather tend to mean only one thing and it wasn't good, especially when abuse is present in the family. Maggie's friend missed a couple of days from school. She finally came back to school and looked like hell. Bruises, scrapes, and a black eye told the story. The father needed another victim and Maggie's friend was it. One thing led to another and each thing was worse than the one before."

"Maggie and her friend talked a lot about the situation then one day the girl was gone, just gone. We later heard that she had died from injuries resulting from a fall. No one bought that story for a second. I'm telling you this because I have no recollection or knowledge of a step-father or, as it turns out, his son who I had apparently played baseball with. It seems that Maggie, in a fit of emotion had wished that the evil sob had never existed. And then he didn't. Seems his son never existed either. Maggie's friends mom had never remarried, no one ever heard tell of the guy. Nothing in the paper about the guy or his son's passing. Nothing. Anywhere. It was like they simply never existed. But Maggie's friend was still dead."

Freddy had tried to really understand what had happened. He had not been a geek or anything in school, oh he did well and liked to read, but he really didn't understand the whole thing. He had read about paradoxes of all sorts, like The Grandfather Paradox and Multiple Universes and other mental gymnastics, but eventually he just let it go. Somehow the Universe had balanced some equation to its satisfaction. He just guessed the Universe really was something that was simply beyond the grasp of mere humans. Now, it really didn't matter.

"More than a year later Maggie came to me and talked about it. We came to the conclusion that not only could she negate events or actions, but she could also negate people. She had moderated another situation." Freddie simply sat there and watched Allgar's reaction. His face slowly worked as though evaluating various possibilities and rejected them one by one. Finally, Allgar flushed slightly and looked at Freddie very, very closely.

Freddie continued "Remember that Maggie can see ancestors? Remember the nod she gave me just before she went to her grandkids? She already knew, but wanted to get face-to-face to be absolutely certain. Well, hello, great grand-dad. However many greats there should be in there." Freddie paused for a long time. "It seems I have a lot, and man, do I mean a lot, of grandfathers and grandmothers and cousins and great uncles and great aunts scattered all over the place. You, sir, have been a very busy boy. Well, I guess you had to do something while you waited for the next suitable charismatic prophet-in-waiting to come along so you could plant some more seeds, huh?"

"So improving the breed is just a hobby? Or were you trying to beef up the numbers for the armies that have marched across time fighting and dying in the name of one or the other or both or your prophets and their preaching? I'm sure that I've missed some rather critical points but I think I've got the basic idea." Another long pause.

"Which one are you trying to fix? Have you been able to figure out the one that's just right for your purposes, or are you intending to just start over? Has our technology advanced to the point that your superiors have become concerned? Gee, must be tough to have a lot of separate opponents to deal with rather than just one per planet. Which one are you going to pick or have all of your experiments turned out so bad that none will do? Must be a real ball buster decision you've got ahead of you."

Freddie had run dry, just mentally and emotionally empty. So very weary. As he and Maggie had put things together over the past few years he had gradually turned his back on everything in his life to concentrate solely on this single thing. Now he felt that he had run the race and it was over. Only the cool-down walk remained. Freddy looked at his watch.

Allgar looked to be depleted as well. He had looked away during Freddie's verbal assault. Several minutes passed while both parties reflected on what had transpired. How could an Earth man have figured all this out? Allgar knew the last story about Maggie had been important and important to him directly. What he was unsure of was to what extent. Added to the fact that he was incommunicado which was another thing to investigate and quickly! But what was Maggie in all this? Stories about her and her peculiar abilities had been upmost during their time together. Why?

Finally Allgar asked "Are you expecting an explanation? What do you expect of me?"

Freddy just looked at him. "Nothing. I expect nothing of you. From my perspective, your words remember, my perspective, you've already ruined millions if not billions of human lives over a span of millennia or more. What could you possibly say in the face of that? I was taught to set the value of a person on their deeds, not on their words. I can't possibly see how any words could set right, justify, or fix the deeds which you haven't denied."

Several minutes passed while Freddy let the words sank in and he again looked at his watch. "Maggie should be home by now. In about a minute or so we'll find out the extent to which a really long life and screwing through the ages has on a population. That is the answer to the question you never asked what's next."

Allgar suddenly understood the last story about Maggie and reality started to crash down on him. He was the father or progenitor of a great number of people back on his home planet and on Earth, as well as several other humanoid populations across the galaxy. How many generations? There was no way of knowing. The entire Distant Planet Experiments program was his idea, what would happen to it? He just glowered at Freddie and in blink he wasn't there, never had been. Neither had Freddie.

No one ever knew they had existed save for a mature black woman in Hattiesburg Mississippi. She was lying on her bed softly crying and thinking about Freddie and their daughter, all the things they had shared and especially thinking about the things they could never have both past and future.

She and Freddie had spent many long hours trying to understand what the effects would be if Allgar were negated. They eventually gave up the task because there were simply too many things they did not know and could never know. Maggie had eventually agreed to her role, but knew that she could not live with the knowledge. She knew that if Freddy ceased to be, so would her oldest and her children.

Gradually her eyes closed, never to open again. The last thing she had done before lying down was to swallow the contents of a bottle of sleeping pills.

The evening was heading toward an ideal southern spring night as the Universe set about to balance the equation once more.

END