Balancing the Scales Ch. 02

"I thought he was cheating again," she continued. "All signs pointed to it, but I had no proof. Now I do." She shoved me out of the office chair and started attaching the mother-in law's video to an email.

"Hold on, what are you doing?"

"His dad and mother are in Africa on safari. I want to ruin his vacation; he is as big of a prick as Mike is."

"I'm not ready to burn him yet," I plead with her.

"No worries, they have spotty service down there. They won't see it till next week when they are back in the city. Mike won't know I contacted his father till then because he never uses this email account."

"Uh oh, the video is too big to attach."

"Do you have a thumb drive?" We copy the video over for her and she takes a screenshot of the location with a thumbnail picture of Wendy. She attaches the photo to the email with a note that the full video of his son banging his new wife will be waiting for him when he gets home.

I also make her promise not to show the video to Mike till the following week. She agrees since she wants the divorce in progress before confronting him. She also copies the video of her ex-best friend to the hard drive; I know that was going to get ugly as well.

By now it is late in the afternoon on a shit Monday.

Ding.

Denise @ 4:42 [Are you coming to see the kids tonight?]

Kevin @ 4:46 [Not tonight.]

Denise @ 4:46 [They need to see you.]

I know she's right but after today I just can't muster the courage. After spending all that time confessing my mistake and owning up to what Denise did, I don't want to see her. I'm angry. I'm pissed. I just can't do it anymore.

Kevin @ 4:50 [I know you're right. I need some time; I promise to come by tomorrow night and the rest of the week.]

[Is that ok?]

Denise @ 4:54 [Guess it will have to be.]

That could have gone better. I drive towards my mom's when I get another notification, I resist looking at it till I pull into her driveway.

Denise @ 5:06 [I'm sorry Kevin. It's been a really bad weekend; I was hoping to see you today. If nothing else, I just wanted to be in the same room with you.]

[I'm sorry.]

Kevin @ 5:11 [I'm sorry. Can I call you tonight?]

Denise @5:11 [Yes.]

Kevin @ 5:13 [It will be later. 7ish.]

Denise @ 5:14 [Ok, thanks.]

Mom has dinner ready; we eat and chat about the day. She isn't overly happy about the choices I've made but supports me, nonetheless. Her only caveat is that no one gets physically hurt. I tell her that no one will be hurt by my hand, but Mike has made a lot of enemies. She reminds me that they wouldn't have known if it weren't for me. I shrug, "They made their bed, Mom ..."

It's after seven now and I call Denise. She seemed relieved that I did.

"Hey." I start the conversation; I know she isn't happy with me right now; but of course I'm certainly not happy with her either.

"Hey, I missed you tonight."

"I'm sorry, I just had a few things to do this afternoon. How were the kids?"

"Good, they know something is wrong but haven't asked a lot of questions. How are you doing with all of this?"

"Well, I'm not happy about it Denise. but I also know it's my fault, I miss you and I can't put into words how sorry I am and how much I wish I could change the past." I could feel the tears swelling, I'm about to cry, I could hear light sobs coming from the other end of the line, I knew she was feeling as sorry as I was.

"Just the past month," she giggles out tensely, "there is so much about the past I love! Remember that trip we took to Cancun?"

"Yes, I don't remember much, but I do remember that tiny bikini you wore, I still have the picture on my desk, and it gets a ton of attention!" My mood is lighting up.

"Oh my God, no you don't!"

"Yes, I do, whenever I'm having a shit day, I look at you and remember that trip and those nights we had together. I loved those nights!"

"Yeah, that was before our kids ruined my body." I can tell from her tone that she is remembering those nights as well. I could hear the kids getting loud in the background as she paused, "I better let you go, I need to get these heathens ready for bed. You coming for dinner tomorrow?"

"Yes, I'll be there." Sorrow crept back into my tone, but I know I have to let her go.

"Promise?"

"I promise." I can tell she doesn't want to hang up, the good times are flashing through my mind, I'm sure hers too. I take the initiative and disconnect the call.

Aimee is a local property manager, so in the morning I enlist her in helping me find an apartment close to Denise and the kids. She went to work right away looking for my best option.

I fill my day collecting information for the lawyer. At night I visit the kids for dinner and help Denise put them to bed. I stay an hour or so each night to talk with Denise. We stay clear of divorce talk or any of the real meaningful conversations that I know we will need to have, and are going to have, in the future.

Denise:

The days drag on; the nights are even longer. I feel lost without Kevin; I don't like the glimpse I'm getting of my future. I was disappointed when he didn't come to see the kids and I think I'm more disappointed that I didn't get to see him myself. I hang up the phone after he disconnected, lost in my memories of better times: our time at the beach, how caring Kevin was at James' birth and all the other little and big things that might not continue. My heart swells with emotion—fear, happiness, loneliness and joy. I'm glad my husband called. I didn't want to hang up. I want to fall asleep listening to him on the end of that line. We both were so lonely and lost.

I haven't spoken to Aimee since Saturday, and I stopped returning Ellen's calls and messages. I know what I did is wrong. I also know it was my choice, but human nature has us search for and blame others for our failings. That's what I did with Ellen; I blamed her for my poor choices. If she hadn't suggested such a ludicrous idea, I would never have allowed myself to be vulnerable to Mike. I knew it was wrong. I knew I owned the blame; I just couldn't bring myself to admit it out loud. I also knew Aimee would just rub my failings in my face, so I avoided her as well, plus I think she was pissed at me for what I had done.

My spirits rise considerably each evening that Kevin was in the house. I appreciate his help with the kids and our quiet conversations give me hope, although deep down I know my hope isn't realistic. How could he forgive me for the way I treated him? I also knew deep down that we wouldn't be here if he hadn't cheated first, that seemed irrelevant lately. How did this become my fault? I knew the answer.

Kevin:

Thursday was lawyer day. I spent two hours in his office filling out forms and agreeing to a future I didn't want. We settled on the normal fifty-fifty split of all assets; I agreed to signing over any claim to the house and to a monthly stipend to help with the mortgage and other household expenses along with a reasonable child support payment.

My attorney told me I didn't have to because alimony was a thing of the past for our state, but that wasn't the issue. Since I knew that our current situation was my fault, I felt I needed to pay a penalty. And a self-imposed penalty was all the more effective.

I suggested joint custody of the kids with both of us taking responsibility for their care. My lawyer said that the discussion would need to get complex, but I didn't mind that. In the long run I knew that was the right solution for our divided family.

My new housing is now a done deal. Aimee was able to help me secure a nice condo a few blocks from Denise's house. Denise's, I thought. I'd already started the transition from thinking of it as our home to thinking of it as just hers. I wondered if that was progress.

That night after dinner the conversation took a dark turn. We settled onto the couch after putting the kids to bed.

"Denise, you need to know that I saw a lawyer today. I started filling out the paperwork to file." I could see the dark clouds roll over Denise's eyes and figured I was in for a hell of a storm. I was right.

"Well, you didn't waste any time, did you?" She squared her shoulders to me; her chin dropped a little allowing her to use her eyes to drill through me. Her pronunciation of each word was slow and deliberate, she wanted me to know how badly I just fucked up. The emphasis she put on the word 'you' let me know she blames me completely for this mess.

"We both knew this was the logical outcome. We were probably destined for this the moment I slept with Jayden."

"I was going to forgive you for that. I did forgive you!" Her words were daggers, driving the situation home.

"That's why you fucked Mike?" I was pissed now, anger reflected in my voice. "That's a hell of a way to forgive a guy."

"That was a mistake, just like your sleeping with her was. If I could forgive you for that, you should be able to forgive me for Mike."

"Denise, for as hurtful and humiliating it must have been for you to find out I cheated, the only people who would have known were you and me. Yes, I deeply disrespected you with my actions and yes, broke your trust. You didn't make a mistake like I did, you deliberately set out to do the same to me. The difference is huge; it's what the lawyers call malice aforethought.

"What you did was deliberate, planned and executed to maximize the deepest humiliation and hurt you could muster. You and Ellen may have 'Balanced the Scales' And you went out of your way to not only disrespect me but crush me. You have me questioning my masculinity and my ability as a husband and father. I've never been this depressed. Ever." I sat there looking for a response from her, tears started trickling down her cheek and she blotted at them with a nearby Kleenex.

"We can work through it, eventually." Denise squeaked out.

"I don't think so. I mean, we might be okay for a while, but the distrust between us is insurmountable. I think it would erode our relationship until we hate each other and no longer can maintain a sustainable situation for the kids.

"I found a condo close by and will be able to move in on the first," I continued. I'm suggesting that we share custody of the kids and try to raise them together. I love you too much to keep hurting you." Denise just stared at me, dabbing at a stray tear streaming down the contours of her face.

"I think you should leave now." Her voice was cold and flat. I stood, gathered my stuff, and headed towards the door. The past few nights, Denise would walk me to the door and hesitate like she was waiting for me to kiss her goodnight. Tonight, she sat on the couch refusing to look at me as I opened the door and started to step out.

"Kevin." I stopped and looked back towards her. "I still want you to come to dinner tomorrow night, I'm not ready to be a single mother yet."

"I will ... I'm sorry."

"Me too." It was a whisper; I barely caught her response before closing the door behind me.

Denise:

I can tell how much I have crushed Kevin, nearly as much as he did me. Telling me that he started the paperwork for our divorce was simply more evidence. Also, he's renting a condo near me; this is the last indication I need to know that it's over for good. Now is the time to start thinking about what I want from this divorce and what kind of relationship I want with Kevin. How did my life turn to shit so fast?

Kevin:

I spend the evenings with Denise and the kids, we keep up the dialog light, though we both know that our time together is coming to an end. Denise finally figured out what her actions had cost her, just as I had figured out what mine had cost me. At times I hated Jayden, Denise, Mike, and Ellen equally but ultimately, I knew it was myself I should be hating.

It didn't make the situation any easier to digest.

Sunday morning brought the day of Will's barbeque. I was tense since I knew there was going to be a confrontation between John, Mike and myself. I dressed and picked up my standard case of beer on the way over. I was shocked to see Krista sitting in the den while everyone else was out in the backyard. Her eyes were puffy from crying and she was obviously ashamed of something. I figured John had already talked with her.

"Hi Krista, how are you?" I knew it was a stupid greeting as soon as I heard it come out of my mouth. Krista confirmed it with a look.

"Why did you have to give him that video?"

"He needed to know Krista, I'm so sorry it had to come from me. Why would you succumb to that son-of-a-bitch Killion anyways?" She looked at me blankly, like it was my fault she'd spread her legs for that bastard.

"You know he plans on being here today."

"I know. I'm surprised you're here, though."

"John jumped me with the video and with his intention to divorce me this morning and said he would go a lot easier on me if I came along." Gorgeous but definitely a bimbo, I thought to myself. He wanted her here to shame her but that wasn't any of my business.

"No Denise?"

"No, no more Denise. We are also getting a divorce because she couldn't resist that prick, either."

"I heard. I'm sorry, Kevin. John and I have been having issues for a year or so now, but I never figured Denise to fall prey to him as well."

"I'm sure you've heard it was me who started the mess by sleeping with a woman I work with," feeling an overwhelming desire to break from this conversation, I ask "Hey, everyone outside?" For the briefest moment I thought about trying to hook up Krista when this mess was over, then I caught a glimpse of that gorilla out in the yard and decided I didn't need to give John a reason to beat my ass, too.

I joined the group and opened my first of what I hoped to be many beers, small talk ensued as we all mingled, while John and I gave each other anxious glances.

Mike entered through the back gate directly into the yard, smiling. The prick. I moved closer to John as Mike approached the both of us.

"Hello gentlemen," he started while raising his hands to hold back the tide that was about to be unleashed on him. "Before you kick my ass, let me tell you a story." What a dumb bastard, did he want to piss off John even more than he already has?

He didn't wait for either of us to respond before continuing, "I had an interesting chat with my soon-to-be-ex-wife Wednesday night. It seems like she couldn't hold back her anger for me fucking her best friend." Looking at me, he continued, "she told me about that little chat you had with her, Kevin. I sure didn't mean to share all those vids with you, but you didn't have to be a prick and give them to her!" John blocked my approach as I moved towards Mike. How dare he call me the prick! It dawned on me how calm Mike was, knowing he was about to be beaten.

"What are you up to Mike?"

"Always wanting to get to the point, huh Kevin. Well, you guys remember my worthless geek of a cousin Simon." It wasn't a question. "Turns out that he is a rather good hacker. He's spent the last couple of days getting into both Krista and Denise's work emails, as well as building me a non-traceable website. Just so you know, a link to your loving wives' videos should be going out from their emails," he looked at his watch, "Just about noooow." He stretched out the last word for effect. Multiple 'dings' echoed as most everyone's notifications went off simultaneously.

There was movement to my right, and I barely caught John's arm as he went to take a punch. He lifted me off the ground, but I managed to stop him from hitting the laughing idiot. That is when we all heard the high-pitched screech from the slider, and I saw pretty painted toes appear in Mike's crotch. How strange that his dick has pink toes? I thought until I recognized the foot belonged to Krista.

Apparently, she received the email as well.

John jerked free of my distracted grip and the resulting crunch of the kneeling asshole's face was deafening. John's large right hand landed just below Mike's left eye as he was holding his damaged pecker. They both fell to the ground with John on top blotting out any sign of Mike, both hands pummeling the prick as he laid there unable to defend himself. I reached for John but didn't have enough leverage to pull him off and finally just let him go, the damage already done.

After the rest of the crowd finished looking at the video link they just received, and realized what was happening, they joined in with Will to pull John off Mike. John was panting hard, and Mike just laid there bleeding. Someone called an aid car and the cops showed up after the medics reported the beating. The police marched John out of the party in cuffs.

Krista sat in a chair crying and continuing to review which of her contacts the link went out to. It looked like it was some family and friends but mostly including co-workers and bosses. She finally turned her phone off. There were just too many people responding to 'her' email.

I sat next to Krista, she leaned on my shoulder and cried. It was about then that I remembered that he had mentioned wives, I picked up my phone to call Denise, straight to voicemail, "Oh shit."

Denise:

I was spending a quiet Sunday morning with the kids when my phone gave notice of an email. I was confused about why I received an email to my personal address from my work account. I saw an attached link, I clicked and then collapsed into my chair when my video with Mike started. My phone started to buzz and sound, certainly with questions about a link that I didn't have answers to, so I just turned it off.

The landline rang. Figuring it was family, since they were the only ones who had this number, I answered, it was Kevin.

"Did you get an email from yourself?"

"Yes! did you do this?"

"No, Mike did. He sent one from Krista's email as well. He had his cousin hack into your work email and sent a link to all of your contacts." I knew this was going to be a disaster for me. Compared to Krista's PA job, I was a Financial Advisor for a nationally known company who had a lot more responsibility.

"Oh God Kevin, that's going to all my co-workers and clients! Oh, God," I whimpered as I broke out into sobs. It dawned on me how fucked I was. I was sure that my revenge just cost me my job. I was devastated.

Kevin asked if I wanted him to come over and of course I did. I needed a friendly face right now, no matter who it was.

Kevin showed up and was his normal gentle self as he held me and let me cry. He didn't say he told me so, or pile on more than I had already suffered. I remembered why I fell in love with this man and couldn't for the life of me understand why I had treated him so badly during a time when I could have shown him respect, honor and love.

If I did, I wouldn't be facing down the barrel of a career-ending debacle.

I cried.

He comforted me.

++++++++++

Denise:

A lot has happened in the past six months. I did lose my job over the link sent from my account. The career-ending email went out to every one of the clients I worked with; some of them were million-dollar accounts, causing the company to take a major hit locally. The general thought was that if I couldn't keep my personal life under control, there was no way I could manage their financial lives. It was hard to debate their point.

When our divorce was final Kevin was already in his condo, so we shared the kids. He's been so great during the past few months, helping me with the house payments, some living expenses and remaining connected with our children. In retrospect, it's more than I deserve.