All Comments on 'Balcony Sex with the Neighbor'

Really? You wanted to introduce yourself to the Lit crowd with this pile of poorly thought out pile of shit? You'll go nowhere in a hurry, just another writer to ignore.

I liked your story and hope for a continuation.

I also liked the preg risk part. U hope she lets her implant lapse for the extra thrill of preg risk sex.

Don't listen to that anonymous hater. There's always somebody who constantly bashes people's work without providing any valuable input. Readers can choose to dislike your story, but putting you down and saying cruel words is just unnecessary.

That being said, I would like to provide some guidance as a fellow Lit writer. I'm pretty new to the game, so take this with a grain of salt. This is just my opinion.

Firstly, I'm the type of reader who enjoys a lot of character development. So, your main character rushing into seducing the older man did feel jarring since she was a virgin. I would've liked to see a little more hesitance before performing for the man; have her be conflicted with her want to be modest and desire to finally earn some attention.

Secondly, I did enjoy the first person narrative. However, I think it would do you some good to describe what the character is doing rather than what they're saying. Show don't tell, I mean. Try to avoid saying things like, "I was excited/he got aroused/etc." and go for more subtle dialogue that depict those feelings without explicitly telling your audience. It helps to not have the words be so in your face. For example: Instead of saying something like, "I was excited to see him after he texted me" you can say, "Upon reading his text, my face began to heat up with red staining my cheeks..."

Lastly, I admire your boldness to jump quickly into the sexual content because that is something that I still need to work on for my own stories. I'm impressed with how you smoothly transition into the sex without too much exposition.

I hope this helps you in some way. Take care!

I would like to thank auhound49 and MidnightTease118 for all your supportive comments and very helpful constructive criticism. I would love to get better and better as I add new adventures for my character and your comments really helped keep me motivated to write more.

Anonymous' comments does have its own merit too as people have different tastes so I do appreciate their honest feedback and I thank them for spending some time to read my story.

A good stab. Without reading your bio, I suspect you are a male. You are telling a story as if you are a male. You need to inhabit your female first person narrator's voice. And for the love of dog, show me do not tell me.

5/5... this was close to rape, but its what she wanted.