All Comments on 'Bang! Bang!'

Sparky, I think you conveyed the abject despair and pain of the husband very well. There is much to appreciate in your writing skill, but these trendy shock stories are not my cup of tea. It's just too manipulative to be believable.

The woman experiences some type of cheating-aphasia for a few weeks and a creative gesture from hubby sets her straight. Is that right? Confessing her cheating (that's exactly what it was) and expecting hubby to go along with it is the first act in this bizarro world. And then in act two or three and a few bumps in the road later they are painting the guest room for junior? Ha ha, but not in the real world.

I could see it working if the groundwork for her utter bankruptcy of character had been laid beforehand and was somehow accepted a priori by hubby, or if she was just an impulsive goofball with a double-digit IQ. But really, does that leave the reader much hope for their future?

Sounds like a paternity test is in order here :))

Lots of folks talk about the last nail in the coffin, but I enjoyed seeing it used so literally, and to such good effect. A good proof-reading would have caught the inconsistencies and usage errors (i.e. "that faithful day" --??).

"When did you decide not to go with Stan?"

Again she giggled, a sound that warmed my soul. "About two seconds after you walked out the door I knew I could never go away with Stan or anybody else

After you left I went upstairs to pack, but all I could think about was our marriage

Thanks for the story.

under slirppuff. u both married dizzy cunts.

2 stars

i would throw her skank ass out ANYWAY!

Love the story . Not way over the top revenge but enough to keep a Happy Marriage Progressing. Now if he knew where the Nice Guy moved he could go out of Town and really BANG! BANG! BANG!

....but seemed to be beyond any thought as to the consequences.

That she had gone as far as she had, would put most marriages in far more serious jeopardy that the "couple of months" it took these two to move on. I'd say something trite like, "I guess he just loves her that much.", but not only trite, it would be pretty unrealistic.

My wife pulled a similar stunt in our 7th year and just after we'd had our first serious blow up. Long story short,.....we never really got over it. While not nearly as egregious as adultery, the betrayal cut deep. I'd lost trust, lost my partner, my confidant, my best friend and my lover, all in one thoughtless moment.....followed by several additional and well thought out acts of betrayal.....falling just short of full sex. Yup, she sure showed me.

I stayed for the sake of the kids, but over the next year, the lack of unity, the wear and tear of life in general and married life specifically, all took their toll and I had to get away. I returned to college with an aggressive timeline to graduation in hopes of advancing myself and took a full time job nearly an hour's drive from home to keep me as far away from there, for as long as possible, each day. I became an interloper in my kids' lives and was almost completely absent from my wife. Someone observed that I'd abandoned them. Yup. Better that, than the ocean of shit I'd have had to swim if I'd divorced her. I did miss the kids terribly, but couldn't in my new situation manage to spend more than a few hours each week at the house. Most of that was spent in exhausted sleep.

I did the best I could for them without making tragic statistics of them.

You wrote: .. "When did you decide not to go with Stan?"

Again she giggled, a sound that warmed my soul. "About two seconds after you walked out the door ....

AND I ASK: So why was she upstairs packing her sexy clothes to go to Vegas to have Stan fuck her to find out whether she preferred his cock to her husbands' before the significance of their Marriage License being nailed into that coffin suddenly began to have some meaning to her?

ALSO: Since she was supposedly taking birth control pills, it's obvious that Stan would have gotten her pregnant in Vegas that very morning.

ALL THESE FACTORS ARE THINGS THAT HER HUSBAND WOULD HAVE TO LIVE WITH, IF HE WAS STUPID AND WEAK MINDED ENOUGH TO... WHICH HE WASN'T. HE MADE HIS CASE BEFORE HE LEFT THE HOUSE. PERSONALLY, I WOULD HAVE DRIVEN THAT LAST NAIL DEEP WHEN SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE WAS STILL GOING (FOR ME) AND THEN I WOULD HAVE LEFT.

<< "When did you decide not to go with Stan?"

Again she giggled, a sound that warmed my soul. "About two seconds after you walked out the door.... >>

SO, IF SHE'D DECIDED NOT TO GO, WHY WAS SHE UPSTAIRS PACKING TO LEAVE WHEN THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THEIR MARRIAGE LICENSE BEING IN THAT COFFIN FINALLY DAWNED ON HER?? .... I HAVEN'T FINISHED THE STORY YET BUT SHE JUST MADE HERSELF OUT TO BE A FUCKING LIAR. MAYBE THE REASON SHE LOOKS SO RAGGEDY IS BECAUSE SHE JUST GOT FUCKED AND THEN DUMPED BY STAN.

Very funny Anon.

I get it!!

If a leopard has STRIPES then it has already changed its SPOTS.

I appreciate your humour.

Thanks callmesparky, I enjoyed the read.

She will probably cheat again, if given the chance. Leopards can not change their stripes.

No man leaves his house for another man to come pick his wife up to take her on a trip!! Thanks for the read.

Very nice story. I always wish for reconciliation, but here you have to ask if there are some serious underlying issues. Women who succomb to aggressive suitors may not be unhappy with their current situation, but the mental gears switch: their attraction to the new man displaces the old one. This is a damaged marriage and, although I don't think much of psychiatry, there is extensive repair work to do that time alone probably wouldn't heal.

I like this a lot. Very well done.

I love this story. xoxoxo Annette

Well written story. Wish the denouement was a bit longer with more detail. By the way I had a couple in marriage counseling a decade ago that this resembles almost exactly in the events surrounding their problems. They did make it and now have 2 kids and a solid marriage.

Interesting, emotionally realistic story that benefits greatly from the graphic “descriptors” included in the narrative. The nails and the marriage license culminating in the “bang, bang, bang” of the coffin being sealed shut. The husband´s miserable night in a Motel 6 followed by breakfast at Denny´s. It was all very raw and very real.

The husband was intelligent at setting up the coffin scene to shock his wife back to reality. He reacted appropriately by leaving the house for the night. He acted with compassion in accepting her back. Finally, he acted courageously to rebuild their marriage with her.

We can all debate whether or not he should have taken her back or not. However, it was an excellent story full of human failure and redemption.

Great story but in the real world I don't think he could go back with her. The betrayal was the first flirting and lunch date . If your doing something you hide from your spouse than you've already cheated. I could never trust her again and her boss would've got the beating of his life some how

You certainly know how to tell a story.

So many ways that could have gone.

You could offer us some alternative endings, perhaps?

For me the last nail went into the coffin when she put herself in a position to be kissed by her future lover. It did seem to me that this business of refusing to take a glance at the text message if fairly stupid. You would lose a chance to save someone's life in some cases. Still he could never trust her again and that was her initial question.

And she indicated it was not about sex, but about emotions! She had to find out if this new guy was her future!! That's not surface lust, that's rotten to the core betrayal.

So she just got cold feet, buyers remorse. Once she gets comfortable with the reconciliation she will be looking around, again. Yeah, it may be years later, but one day she won't even warn him, he'll just get served. He's a fool if he stays with this stupid shallow heartless woman. And if he does not get a DNA test on the kid, just look up buffoon in the dictionary. There you will see his picture. Almost makes sense why she's looking to trade up. If this guy is dumb enough to keep her he does not deserve her respect.

I liked this. It wasn't too involving and busy and it wasn't too simple and short. I thought he should have made her jump through some hoops. Just because the deed wasn't done, it had been preluded and planned. Stan should have taken a beating as well. 5 *

This was a tough tale. She had every intention of going off with the boss and wanted to be honest with her husband about it. What she expected of him was unclear, but it wasn't what he said he'd do. The coffin was a great touch because it said exactly what he would do. In the end she came to her senses and stayed true but not entirely faithful. Only time could save this marriage and that's how it ended. Will she stay faithful? Who the fuck knows.

Mmm. This is loving wives. So except for a few stories, we know the wife is going to cheat and the only things left up in the air is hubby's reaction, the ending and 'the hook'.

The first two are pretty straightforward. So it comes down to how cleverly or emotionally engaging the story is. The hook here was the coffin.

Pretty mil spec story.

How does he regain his trust in her? Does he really believe that she hasn't already slept with Stan? Does cutting bras and panties to shreds make any difference? She's already betrayed him. The only real question is to what degree? And you miss-timed the pregnancy. If she was on the pill it would have taken a couple of months for her cycle to reestablish itself thereby allowing her to get pregnant. Overall a pretty satisfying story. At least there weren't any willing cucks running around like chickens with their heads cut off. You could write another ending to this wherein she goes off to Las Vegas, he hires a PI to get the evidence and then destroys both of them and the Company, gets millions from his lawsuits and retires to a tropical island. Just a thought. CHEERS!

She also said she was on pill so how did she get pregnant . Did you forget you wrote that into the story. There are some really dumb people out there. But to tell your husband the last minute that you are going to Vegas to have sex with one of your bosses seems so unreal.what could she have been thinking going into this

Relationship. What did she expect from her husband , love and kisses. Seems to far fetched for me.

Did I get it right that she went on maternity leave about 8 month later and the baby might have been conceived the day when she crawled back to her husband? Did I get it right that she had planned to have unprotected sex with her paramour that same day? Perhaps not such a good idea to take her back even if the baby is his. It might have been an attempt of ultimate cuckolding.

4* for the well-crafted story! Keep on, please!

The opening was a bit weak with Anna getting directly to the events that illustrated her betrayal and plans to take it to the next level. She talks of honesty during her confession but waited a few weeks to be honest about what she did. That really doesn't sound correct. Her honesty should have come out after the 2nd or 3rd lunch when feelings started to stir. Although that would have been a different story progression, I still enjoyed the way this tale unfolded.

Not to be trusted! EVER. Anna cheated, as surely as if she had spread her legs wide, guiding her boss's boss's cock into her pussy and let him pound away until he unloaded.

She is not wife material nor is she ever to be trusted again. She has proven herself.

It was creative and ended well, but I thought she got to the truth telling stage pretty quickly. It seems more likely that Stan would have fucked her a bit before taking her off to Vegas, but that was probably essential to the story line. The scene at the kitchen table was so abrupt, perhaps it only seemed that way because we didn't have any information on the wife's personality. Keep writing.

In this category, the husband would have said "have a nice time! Can I watch?" So, Brad's reaction to Anna's revelation placed this tale head and shoulders above most of the crap dredged up from the cesspool of perverted, deviant sex that the evil consider erotic. As long as I find it sickening, I know I'm on the right track. My reaction to the filth the evil call erotic, raises the conundrum of Anna's behavior. She should have found Stan's advances repulsive and immediately warned Brad of his attack on their marriage. Instead, she basked in self-love and let Stan stroke her ego to the very edge of no return. Only Brad's graphic explanation of what she had done to their marriage and what the results of her "weekend" would be, snapped her back to her senses. Like many of the other commentators, I find Anna sorely lacking in character. We already know just how much she respects Brad. Will the character he displayed increase her respect for him enough to be faithful? That remains to be seen. Brad has to be wondering just who the hell did he marry? Now that he's seen who she is, will he want to keep her? Of course, these are the questions raised by every reconciliation story I've read that doesn't go to great lengths to show the errant spouse's about-face is genuine. I don't think you have done that to my satisfaction here, so my rating is four stars.

As always, most commenters are judging the story purely on whether or not they think they would have reacted the same way as the character. :headshake:

I actually think this was pretty well done, and here's why:

1. It was built around a fun metaphor, which was enjoyably used but not enough to justify any longer a story than this. It was exactly the right length for what it had to do.

2. The wife was still several steps less clever than a real woman might be, but unlike most post-StarStang BTB stories she was smart enough to evaluate her situation as the plot unfolded and develop a rational response. Hell, in the latter part she could even have a conversation and say insightful things. In that regard, she's light years beyond the usual mysoginist bent we get.

3. I also think her initial stupidities were necessary (in the way HDK's women are sometimes necessarily stupid) in order to create a situation that supported the metaphor delivery moment. She was dumb for a bit so the story could rush it's setup, and that's fine. It's certainly better than when the woman is portrayed as basically mentally disabled while we're also being told that her husband is a god among men.

4. The ending was vaguely victorious, but I think had some realism in that what had already happened WAS a level of betrayal. I'm okay with this ending, just as I would have been ok with divorce, because the ending of the story is not the primary qualifier on whether or not it was a good story (should I say that again, guys?).

The ending of the story is not the primary qualifier on whether of not it was a good story.

Rethinking a situation is far too late. This marriage was over at the planning, there is no such thing as a fix.

It is difficult to come up with something new, and the coffin part of the story is clever and creative. The author built up a couple of characters who indeed deserve redemption. I appreciate Sugna's comments - banging out a few rug rats would give this couple something to think about and take most of their energy. Well done!

It ended the way it should and that's what counts. And it's a very well-written story. Five stars and thanks for the happy ending.

How can the husband ever trust that woman again?? Even if they remain together the marriage will only be a weak shadow of what it was before. Somethings just do not get better. The husband will forever be waiting for the time to come when she completely betrays him and she will hate him too for coming between her dreams of a luxurious life...

"He's not that way Brad. He hasn't been with a woman in over two years." – Ri-i-ight, like you can trust a man who seduces married women!

“He said he'd let everyone at work know I was a slut and he'd get me fired.” – That’s sexual harassment, he can be sued, and possibly fired, otherwise the company can probably be sued also, maybe sued anyway.

And I agree with impo_61, how was this guy still around after THREE prior complaints? I could MAYBE see him getting away with ONE complaint, without proof it could be a “He said/She said” situation, but a SECOND complaint should at LEAST put him on thin ice, with a third getting him tossed.

So that kinda took the wdge off my enjoyment of the story. Was formulaic, but not bad, just not my cuppa

Guess what comes at the end of your college education? A Commencement ceremony. Prologue to the rest of their life together is a perfect way to end this story.

This story also nicely answers so many others where the cheater wails that she 'made a mistake' and should be forgiven. This one makes it clear by counter example that in all the others, she 'made a mistake' and she lied to cover it, over and over again. Here, she made the mistake, but didn't lie to cover it, and so it could be fixed in time.

What I will never understand, though, is how any spouse would ever think that dating is okay, that it's somehow not cheating, but apparently idiots think what idiots think.

...short but to the point. 5* for your story. Thank you.

What saved this marriage was that she talked with him before something really unforgiven happened!!! That allowed him to take action and try to open her eyes...A weak point in it is: "had been three prior sexual harassment complaints about the really nice guy Stan" and only now the HR took action in dismiss him? Another one is: "lover boy" got out of this too easy...Not even a beating? It could have been any of the aggravated husbands...however 3*

Wow, talk about villains and noble good guys and weeping hysterical maidens! Did he have a moustache?

Very enjoyable read. Since it's a flash story of sorts, I won't analyze it to critically.

prologue at the end? insane moronic wife? complete personality twist in one paragraph? stupid wimp that forgive and forgets right away? raac?

fuck all that.

I liked the story overall, but I can't say I'm thrilled about him keeping the wife. Yeah, she realized how badly she fucked up, but only after her husband went to a level of theatrics that you really only see in fiction. This IS fiction, but thinking about it in realistic terms, if THAT was how far I had to go to convince my wife not to cheat, with the implied possibility of her leaving me for lover boy if things went "well", I don't know if I would be able to take her back.

I've long maintained that the worst kind of cheating, for the spouse being cheated upon, is the kind that doesn't have a reason. When a spouse cheats on a whim, there's nothing you can do to fight it. Being more attentive, trying to make yourself more appealing, buying them gifts, lighting up the bedroom; none of it will help if the spouse doesn't need a reason to cheat. And if you take them back, there's always the very real possibility that the "whim" might come back again. And it's even worse with those headstrong people who keep a death grip on any idea that gets stuck in their head, even when they know it's a terrible one, like the wife here.

She may have learned her lesson this time around, but give it a few years and watch what happens when the memory of the lesson fades. And of course there's always the chance that the lesson she actually learned wasn't "Be faithful to your husband", but instead "Don't tell him the truth". I'm not sure how she would've been able to explain away a weekend in Vegas, but I'm sure good ol' Stan would've figured something out, like the tried and true local motel if she couldn't get out of town.

As far as I'm concerned, the trust is gone. But I'm not the character in the story, so whatever. He seems like an idiot to me, who's gonna wind up heartbroken in the not-too-distant future, but this is fiction; the story ends when the author says it does. The author says they had a happy ending, so I'll take it.

3 stars from me. It's a solid piece, but my personal biases prevent me from really getting into it.

luckily and thankfully, the shots went wild. TK U MLJ LV NV

She sounds like she isn't smart enough to walk and chew gum.

You do realize that 'prologue' is an introductory section and should not be at the end of the story. You should use 'epilogue' to conclude your tale and give the readers a follow up.

Quite entertaining

The miracle of birth control has allowed people to have sex for years, in this case in excess of 7 years with no risk of pregnancy. Over that time, there is only so much a couple can do when they are filled with youth and energy. That energy is meant for ensuring survival and raising kids. With no kids, the energy will seek another outlet. One of the saddest things about our post modern world are all the women that think that jobs and "careers" are fulfilling to the exclusion of children or at least child rearing. There is nothing more to life than survival and raising kids. The social construct of an ego driven, career oriented life is a deal with the devil made by fools that were not raised well by their parents. This is the same for men as it is for women.

Unfortunately, in this case they learned the hard way. The husband will always doubt his wife. His doubt and her resentment of it will be an infection in their marriage until the day it ends.

Loved the coffin metaphor. There's a saying that people remember how you make them feel, not what you say.. True the wife was a bit overwrought and the husband was far more stolid then I would have been. But my empathy was fully engaged albeit with a raised eyebrow for some sections.

The author excelled at presenting skewed logic of woman on cusp of cheating. Alan made her feel excited and vibrant, that was what counted in Vegas decision. The husband , however , knew how to turn the tables beyond futile argument over right or wrong. I thank the author for sharing.

Pathetic! The writing is okay but the story just sucks balls. Who would want her? She's a moron and he's a moron for wanting her. Couldn't get half-way through this jumble.