All Comments on 'Banished Pt. 04'

This story has been great. I really enjoy the world building. Your description of life in a game like life is well done. The truth being told to Raul was a very good scene. I look forward to future writing from you. Thank you!

Another good chapter that keeps me wondering 'what next?' Keep up the good work

Another 5 star chapter. Enjoying that the chapters are coming with one week intervals rather than the two weeks interval that the first two chapters had. Can't wait another week to read the next part.

I'm absolutely loving this series. You are an excellent writer and I look forward to each installment. Thank you.

Really loving how this story is coming along - hope the regular updates keep coming!!

The only thing I am confused about is the number of people who are in the group that arrived from Earth, and how they are split up.

In Part 1, you originally gave that figure as 15. Nate's group of 7 (Nate, Francesca, Cameron, Casey, Nolan, Jordan & Vince) and Caleb's group of 3 (mentioned in Part 1 and again in Part 3 when they were all killed by Raul) leaves Vanessa with a group of 5.

Fast forward to Part 3, and Gisela tells Nate that they had tracked a group of 8 goddesses, who Nate referred to as Vanessa's group, contradicting the early idea that their group must be only 5.

But then in Part 4, when Nate and Casey are discussing periods, Nate says there are 9 girls in the group. Take away 3 girls from the original group (Casey, Francesca & Cameron), and that leaves Vanessa with a group of 6 now??

However later on when counting the votes for Candace's trial, Nate says "all five girls voiced their opinion to execute her", when referring to Jeannine's subgroup of Vanessa's original group. Therefore adding on Vanessa, Candace and Bianca, that puts Vanessa's original group back at 8 people?!?

I've tried naming Vanessa's group (Vanessa, Candace, Bianca, Jeannine, Emily, Molly and Evie are all I could recall) but when adding those 7 to Nate's original group of 7 (named above), Caleb's group of 3 brings the total to 17 instead of the 15 originally quoted.

I'm really struggling to keep up with the numbers and as you can see, it's driving me crazy! It would clear things up considerably if you started Part 5 with a quick recap, including everyone's names and which group they were originally with.

Please don't take this actual criticism, I get creating a whole new world will inevitably lead to a few inconsistencies and I absolutely love how the story is heading so far! :)

But I’m reluctantly joining their ranks... may your pen flow faster than a swollen river 😭

I deleted my earlier comment since it seemed to indicate to some troll that now was his time to shine. :S

So I'm replacing that message with a little breakdown of the group instead:

There are 18 people in the original group from part 1, so my number of 15 from part 1 needs to be changed.

Vanessa's group is in fact 8, with the 7 you named, plus another girl called Leanna. I thought she was the one who went to keep an eye on Candace in part 4 since she was closer to Emily than the other girls are, but I just check that part and apparently that was Evie. :S So she isn't named until part 5, maybe? or 6. Can't remember rn.

So the 'all five girls' were Jeannie, Molly, Evie, Emily, and Leanna, so that part is still okay.

The earlier bit from part 2 with Nate referring to 9 girls in the group; that will have to be changed to 11.

From what I can tell, those are the only 2 instances of numbers that need to be changed, which I will do sometime in the future... maybe (lol).

Since I deleted the earlier response, I'm just gonna reiterate about the release schedule:

There won't be a release this week for Banished, since I'm working on getting another chapter of Trapped up. When that is done, then I'll probably get back to Banished for another two or so chapters. So, end of April, or start of May, maybe? Follow my patreon (updates are available for free) if you want more detailed/regular updates on dates, releases, and progress reports.

This last instalment has kept up with the other chapters in keeping my interest and providing interesting characters and sexy times. However, I am saddened as I have now read all your works on this site. I will continue to check back from time to time as I am interested in any new additions to any story. Thanks for creating these stories and sharing them with us. Great work. 10/10

5stars

I love the world so far. The physical world itself seems huge, but also the story world as well. Who is this Company? Was Nate really sold to them? and of so, by whom? And then there is the huge third party in the room. You have Avalon, Earth, and at least one other planet unmentioned. As stated in the story, the tech that got them there came from neither earth nor Avalon. Closer to hand, I love how the story is unfolding, and find myself sucked in by all of the intrigue.

So far, Francesca and the Princess are my favorite side characters.

Easily 5 stars.

The relative maturity or lack thereof is shining through and his decisions so far have been really not great. And honestly for a 32 year old geez this guy is fucking naive.

Harem thing is lame.......

For those who have complained about the maturity/naivety of Nate keep in mind that the author is clearly a big fan of anime and Nate's behavior tracks with being very common with how a main protagonist in many of them are. It might not be your cup of tea and that's fine but looking at it through the lens of it being anime helped me.